The Lake

by Grant, AnnaLisa

  “Years?” It’s going to take years for Will’s dad to approve of me? And even then there is no guarantee!

  “Yeah, from six until about eight. My parents were great about it though. They’re a lot like your aunt and uncle. As I got older, they were really open with me and explained why my friend’s dad was so weird around me. It never really mattered to me. Will was my friend and treated me like a friend should be treated.”

  “So what am I supposed to do?” I feel so defeated.

  “You can’t do anything. It’s not the same, Layla. Will doesn’t want to just be your friend. He’s in love with you. You’re the one.”

  “If I’m the one and he’s in love with me, why can’t we be together?” I’m emotional now.

  “You can be together. You broke up with him, remember?” Caroline challenges.

  “I broke up with him because I don’t want to be with him and have to pretend to not love him. How would you like it if you couldn’t go out in public with the person you loved most in the world? If you had to pretend to be with someone else because if the wrong people saw you together the most evil man on the planet would destroy you? Since Will won’t stand up to his dad, there’s really nothing left to discuss. I just can’t do it, Caroline.”

  “Layla, it’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s that he can’t. I know more about what happened with Holly than Gwen or the guys. Will’s afraid of what will happen to you, or your aunt and uncle. I know this has got to be terrible for you, but if it makes you feel any better at all, you’ve got to know that this is killing him. Will really loves you.”

  I know that Will loves me. That’s what makes it so difficult. I’m torn between being grateful for his efforts to keep my family safe and angry because I want him to care more about loving me than any consequences. Now I can’t help feeling like a hypocrite. If I love Will, why am I not willing to do what it takes to be with him?

  I think about what my mother would say about me giving up like this. I was so tenacious as a child. Once I set my mind to something, I never gave up. The last time I did that was when I moved in with Gram and Gramps. I set my mind to not set my mind to anything else. My one and only objective was to be agreeable and make their lives as easy as possible. It meant never even attempting to fight for anything, no matter how much I wanted it.

  But…maybe I can do this for Will, for me. Maybe I just need to be patient and wait until graduation. Or…maybe not. At this point all I want to do is start over and wipe the slate clean…again. I miss Will. I miss his arms, his body, and his lips, but more than that, I miss his company. I miss the days he came to work on the basement and we would talk non-stop over lunch. I miss his friendship. If I’m going to start over I have to get rid of everything that only serves to complicate the situation. To do that, I have to talk to Marcus.

  “Thank you, Caroline.” I say hugging her.

  “For what? I thought for sure I was upsetting you,” she says, wrapping her arms around me.

  “I’m just really glad I have you. Ok, enough with the heavy, let’s finish this year out right! We’ve only got a few minutes left.” I grab Caroline’s hand and run downstairs and get the sparkling apple cider Claire got for me. She made me promise that I would at least toast the New Year, even if I were by myself. Caroline and I gush over Ryan Seacrest and watch the ball drop in Time Square, toasting to a better year. The previous one left a lot to be desired. The New Year can only get better.

  Chapter 20

  The door to the bookstore closes noisily behind me. Gosh! There is no sneaking into this place. Marcus rounds the corner from behind an aisle of historical fiction books. He looks good, like he always does. I have to admit that when he and I pretended to be together, I didn’t hate it. I liked when he sat close to me. I liked when he held my hand. It made me not feel so alone, but it isn’t the same as how I feel when Will does it, and I know I have to say what I’ve come to say.

  Marcus smiles when he sees me and doesn’t hesitate to approach. I have to stop him before he puts his arms around me and I procrastinate.

  “Are you ok?” he asks.

  “I’m…fine. I need to talk to you,” I say.

  “Sure. Do you want to go next door, grab a coffee?”

  “No. This won’t take long.” I pause to calm my nerves. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve asked for a different tutor, and that…I can’t be around you right now.”

  “What? Layla…why?” He’s visibly upset. Surely this was the last thing he was expecting me to say. “Is this because I pushed you to talk about Will? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “No…not really. It’s for the best, Marcus. I just can’t have anything complicated in my life right now,” I say.

  “And I’m a complication?” He furrows his brow.

  “Yes.”

  “You know you can never be with him,” he says after considering my answer.

  “Maybe not, but whenever I’m with you, all I think about is Will…and Holly. I just want to start over, Marcus, and that means that I can’t be around you right now. I’m sorry. I really appreciate your friendship and everything you did to try to help us. I’m sorry that it got you hurt. I hope you can understand.”

  “I understand that you have no clue what you’re dealing with. Gregory Meyer is more than just a power hungry guy with a chip on his shoulder. He is capable of doing things…unimaginable things. You’re going to get yourself hurt if you don’t stay away from them. Meyer men are relentless.” Marcus’ tone is fierce. His eyes are darker and his face tight with strained seriousness.

  “I appreciate your concern, Marcus, but I’m fine. I’m sorry that…I’m just sorry.” I don’t wait for a response. I turn around and walk out of the store. I get in my car and let myself cry for the loss of the friendship with Marcus that I envisioned growing and blooming, but I cry for only a minute because I can’t waste my time with any more tears.

  Marcus’ words ring in my head on the drive home. Unimaginable things. What did he mean? I think on this for a while and, even though I’ve witnessed my own Meyer attack, decide that Marcus was being dramatic in his efforts to keep me away from Will. If Gregory Meyer were that dangerous Luke and Claire would have told me.

  I arrive home to find Will’s car in the driveway. Luke didn’t tell me he was coming today. He always does, so this must be an unexpected visit. I think about slipping upstairs unnoticed but this has gone on long enough. I have to be mature and, after all, I live here. I enter through the front door and see Luke, Claire and Will sitting in the front living room waiting for me like some kind of intervention. Will stands up immediately with a small gift-wrapped box in his hands.

  “We’ll leave you two to talk,” Claire says giving me a nod as she and Luke leave the room. It isn’t like them to ambush me like this. There has to be something to whatever Will wants to say, so I don’t protest.

  “Hi,” I say first. It’s so good to see him. My heart aches as he approaches me, standing close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body.

  “Hi. I brought you something. I actually got this for you a while ago and planned on giving it to you at Christmas. It doesn’t seem right for you to not have it,” he says quietly, reaching out to hand me the box. His voice has lost its luster. It’s still smooth, but no longer dynamic.

  “That’s really nice of you, Will.” I reach out and take the Tiffany Blue wrapped box from him. He looks on with what I can only describe as censored anticipation as I unwrap the package. Inside the larger box is a small black velvet box. My heart flutters and I’m filled with mixed emotions. Giving me gifts doesn’t exactly help with my trying to get over Will, but I can’t help but relish in the flood of lovely emotions that well up in me, too. To receive an unanticipated gift from someone is the ultimate proof that they thought of you when you weren’t around. I like that feeling…a lot.

  I open the small box and take a short, startled breath. Inside is a shiny, silver chain with an equally
brilliant silver sand dollar charm. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Will,” I say softly in a preemptive move to thwart any tears that may erupt.

  “I know you had been missing the ocean. This seemed fitting. I’m glad you like it. Can I help you put it on?” I hand Will the box and lift my hair. His arms reach around and as he pulls the chain around my neck. His hands touch my skin and I am overwhelmed. Another flood of emotions come over me and all I can think about is how much I want him like I did that day in the loft.

  “I like it very much. Thank you, again. I’m sorry, I…didn’t get you anything,” I say, a little embarrassed at both having nothing to give him and the thoughts that have just rushed through my mind.

  “There’s only one thing I want from you, Layla…your heart. You gave it to me once. I’m hoping you’ll give it to me again. Before you say anything, I have a proposal for you.”

  I’m a little nervous. The last time Will had a proposal for me he suggested we run away together. I miss him so much and, after what I just experienced, I would actually entertain it more seriously this time. “What’s your proposal?”

  “I want to be with you more than anything else in this world. I know that us trying to be together wasn’t the most ideal situation, and that proved to be harder for you than I ever wanted it to be. It was unbearable for me as well. My…outburst…well… These last few months of being apart from you have been the worst in my life. I didn’t just lose my girlfriend, I lost my best friend – the person I trust most in this world, the one person who calls me on all my crap and encourages me beyond anything I’m worthy of. I don’t want to stay away from you. I can’t be away from you anymore. Can we sever this distance? Can we at least try to be just friends? I miss you, Layla.” I can see the hope in Will’s eyes and can’t help but be drawn in. I want to be there, in his eyes, his heart, his soul. I have no desire to fight it, but I’m scared.

  “I’ve hated being apart from you, too. But, I don’t know, Will. What’s the difference between what we’d be trying to do now and what we were doing before?” I say.

  “Well, I won’t get to kiss you, and believe me, that is a huge difference because I love kissing you.” Will takes my hand and my heart races.

  “Will.” I force myself to pull my hand away. It’s distracting.

  “Sorry.” He takes a step back, but thankfully not a too far. “So, what do you think? We can hang out together with our friends again…interact at school. We can be friends and we won’t be lying to anyone.”

  Except ourselves, I think.

  “It would be great to see you again, and I have missed being with everyone.” I take a deep breath to buy a moment of thinking. This is the new clean slate that I wanted, a do-over of sorts. Will has offered me a release from the new prison I found myself locked in. A sweet release back into the life I longed for. “Ok. Yes. I think it’s worth a try.”

  Will throws his arms around me and lifts me off the ground as he hugs me. “Oh, Layla! You just made me the happiest guy on the planet! I’ve missed you so much!”

  “I missed you, too!” I hug him back with as much enthusiasm, squeezing my arms tightly around his neck. It feels so good to be close to him again. I don’t know how we’re going to do it – we may fail miserably with one of us being declared insane – but we’re going to try being just friends. I’m reminded of my conversation with Marcus and his strict warning that I should be nothing more than friends with Will, and then the look on his face that night in the coffee shop when I asked him to help us. Having just released Marcus from any obligation to me makes this moment completely stress-free.

  Will puts me down and we take a long look at one another and smile, making up for all the moments we lost while we were apart. I’m staring so closely into his eyes that I find myself intentionally memorizing every detail of them. The way the blue of his eyes starts out just a hair of a shade lighter at the pupil and gradually becomes darker, finally becoming a deep ocean blue at the outer rim of color. It’s just the slightest shift in color, but it’s there.

  The doorbell rings, interrupting our gaze. I answer it and can’t believe the worse timing as Marcus stands before me.

  “Are you kidding me?” Will says from behind me.

  “Hey Layla. What’s he doing here?” Marcus’ tone is rude.

  “What can I do for you, Marcus,” I say, ignoring both of them.

  “You left so quickly, I wanted to finish our conversation.” He’s looking at Will out of the corner of his eye.

  “Our conversation was through. What more is there to say?” I offer.

  “You didn’t give me a chance to say anything. You just left.”

  “She said the conversation was over.” Will steps forward in a territorial stance.

  “I don’t recall you being there, so how about you back off.” Marcus matches Will’s posture, stepping over the threshold.

  “How about I finish kicking your ass?” Will retorts.

  “How about the two of you stop acting like little boys. Will, go in the kitchen.” Will does as he’s told but not without giving Marcus the stare-down of all stare-downs. Marcus grins like I just crowned him the winner of their pissing match.

  “Wipe that smug look off your face, Marcus. What do you want?” I ask.

  “I told you. You didn’t give me a chance to argue my case,” he says.

  “You made yourself pretty clear. There’s nothing to argue, Marcus.” I’m exasperated at his persistence, but have to admit that I’m tempted to ask him what he meant when he said that Mr. Meyer was capable of doing unimaginable things. It doesn’t matter now because Will and I are going to just be friends so his father will have no reason to do anything unimaginable or otherwise to me or my family.

  “What’s Will doing here? Glutton for punishment?” he says obnoxiously.

  “What is your problem?” I snap.

  “He’s my problem. All he does is cause pain and you’re letting him back into your life. Here I am standing in front of you…you don’t have to hide with me, Layla.” He moves closer, taking my hand in his. “Admit it. You liked it when we were together. You felt something. You weren’t always pretending with me.”

  “No, Marcus, I didn’t…don’t…feel that way about you.” I can never admit to him that it made me feel good to be close to him. It wasn’t the same as when I was close to Will, but Marcus would never hear that part.

  “You’ve tried this once, Layla, it’s not going to work.” My rejection has sparked something in Marcus. His eyes are fiery hot and his body stiffens. He releases my hand, almost tossing it down, and takes one half step forward. He speaks slowly and with purpose, not like when you talk to a five-year-old, or try to communicate with someone who speaks another language. No, this is anger…almost evil. “Trust me. No matter how hard you try, you will never be good enough for them.”

  I don’t know what comes over me, but before I’ve even considered my action I slap Marcus across his face as hard as I can.

  “I am not Holly. You can’t make up with me what you weren’t able to do for her. Now I think you should leave before Luke and Will escort you out.” I can see Claire and the guys standing on this side of the kitchen door, with Luke literally holding Will back.

  Marcus leaves, and even though I told him to, I’m sad to see him go. I hoped one day we’d be able to be friends again. I don’t think that’s going to be possible now, and that’s disappointing.

  Chapter 21

  The frozen chill in the air has turned beautifully crisp. The trees and flowers in the backyard begin to sprout and my view of the lake from the loft becomes obstructed once again. Will resumes his work with Luke in the basement after a hiatus during winter seeing as the basement isn’t heated yet. It’s nice seeing Will on a more regular basis again. We’re doing well at the “friend” thing, although we have to be more intentional at certain times. If we go to a movie with our friends we can’t sit next to each other. The first time we did, we realized three quarters of
the way through the movie that we had been holding hands.

  Along with the new season comes the anticipation of spring break, prom, and graduation. We’re days away from spring break and I’m giddy with anticipation at tearing through a good book with a blanket and a chair by the lake. It’s been months since I’ve been able to enjoy my favorite place, and now that Will and I have made amends it isn’t going to be so painful to go down there.

  “Oh, Layla, Luke and I have a surprise for you!” Claire says as Will and I clear the breakfast dishes. It’s Saturday and Will is readying himself for a day of work in the basement. He always arrives an hour before he needs to so we have some time to hang out. Luke and Claire are always with us, so there’s no danger of any conversation that might convince us that we should get back together. I’m glad for their supervision because there are many moments when I look at Will and want to take him up on his first offer to run away together.

  Luke walks into the kitchen as he hears Claire prep me for their news. “I thought we were going to tell her together?”

  “You’re here now, aren’t you?” She winks at him, and Luke grabs her by the waist and kisses her hard on the neck. I love that Luke is so free in showing his affection for Claire.

  “Ok…I’m in suspense. What’s the surprise?” I look at Will to see if he’s giving any hints, but he looks just as clueless as I am.

  “We’re all leaving on Monday for week in Asheville. It’s the firm’s annual spring retreat. Mr. Meyer reserves part of a resort and the whole office shuts down for spring break. What do you think?” Luke says joyfully.

  “It sounds great. Oh, my gosh, that’s in two days! You’ll be there, too, right Will?” I look at Will but his expression is altogether opposite of mine. He isn’t excited at all. In fact, he looks scared.

  “Um, yeah, I’ll be there,” he says.

  “What’s wrong? You don’t seem excited at all?” I ask.

  Luke and Claire can see that this conversation is not going to be lighthearted. Claire looks at me and I mouth the words it’s ok so she knows that if they leave they won’t return to find Will and me in a passionate embrace.