Damned

by K R Leikvoll

  “I thought you weren’t coming,” she said softly. A sad smile was on her parched lips. I raised my flask to her mouth to give her the only water I had. She gulped it down, curing days of dehydration.

  “Your stories are the closest thing I have to freedom.”

  “I don’t think we will be seeing each other again,” she replied in a cracked voice. “They gave me my execution orders this morning. I believe it was morning, though I lost track of time long ago.”

  I was not sure what to say to her. Instantly, I began to grieve the loss of the only friend I had managed to make in thirty years. Our friendship was peculiar and short, but it was the only thing I could count on during those long, meaningless days. I had grown fond of my fantasies of being free. Without her, I was bound to revert back to my blank mind.

  “If I were to escape with you, where would we go?” I asked her in such a quiet whisper I barely heard it myself. At first, she did not understand, but tears welled in her eyes when it registered.

  “I have to find my troupe and make it to Femora,” she responded.

  I neared her ear and gripped her hand.

  “You have to promise me something in return,” I stated firmly. She glanced at me curiously from the corner of her gaunt eyes.

  “What is it, Lazarus?”

  “Promise me you are not lying.”

  Her brows furrowed at my request curiously.

  “Lying about what?”

  “About Vince.”

  Her pupils dilated and moved back and forth as she processed what I said. Her hand squeezed mine.

  “I promise. Let me return you to the free world and you will see I’m speaking the truth.”

  “Do you swear?” I asked, fearful of what I was debating. She nodded frantically. My lips brushed her forehead.

  “Where are you going?” she squeaked out as I turned to leave her.

  “You will get out of here, one way or another,” I replied.

  But first I had to know the truth.

  I was not going to approach Vince in my tattered working clothes in the dead of night after trespassing. Such a thing needed proper preparation, though I could not waste time with the prisoner so near death. The next morning, I awoke early to bathe in privacy and wash my mass of long, raven hair. It was tedious, but I wanted to make up for my poor appearance weeks before. The dirt and grime on my body and underneath my nails took time to scrub clean. I finished mid-morning when the privileged began to wake and intrude.

  After putting on the finest clothing I had been able to afford over the years, which was absurd, I made my way to the Everglade’s chieftain’s home. It was easily the most luxurious place in the moor, erected only a decade earlier when he had been promoted via assassination. He was drinking grog and stuffing his face with fresh bread as I entered his living quarters accompanied by guards. They acted menacing, but I knew I could kill them all and I had nothing to fear.

  “I must speak to our Lord immediately,” I stated without bothering to greet him. He raised a thick eyebrow and burst into laughter.

  “You expect to walk into the Lord’s palace with that demanding attitude?” he asked me before emptying his flagon.

  “I have information only for his ears. I cannot trust to give it to anyone else,” I replied, pressing further. Mildly intrigued, he kicked his feet up onto his table.

  “And what do I get out of setting up this arrangement?”

  “If he does not get this information because you failed to take me to him, it will be your head on a spike, not mine,” I hissed angrily. It would be far easier to talk to him with documentation instead of breaking more laws than I already had.

  “I ask again, what do I get out of it? Nobody lives forever,” he said with a shrug and a full mouth. I let out an aggravated yell and stabbed his table with my dagger near his wrist. The two guards drew their weapons, but he held up his hand to stop them from moving.

  “Fine, swine. Bet all you have on me for the upcoming tournament and you will never have to bet again.”

  The chieftain laughed once more.

  “Against Varnoc Stonebreaker? When you lose, I will lose my money and you’ll be dead. Does not sound like a winning situation to me.”

  “And if you win your bet, I will see you wealthy beyond measure. Wealth that could buy a way to leave this place where you will be assassinated in the years to come,” I responded, removing my dagger from the table and sheathing it.

  “Have you seen Stonebreaker fight? I am not confident in your abilities to win, Lyon,” he growled becoming very serious.

  “I will win. If I lose, you will get to watch the Everglade defile my corpse. What repayment could there be beyond that?”

  The chieftain’s face grew dark red with agitation.

  “Your head will not give me my wealth back after gambling it all away!”

  “Haven’t you heard of taking a risk?” I asked, losing hope that he would aid me. He let out a sigh, however, and began to scribble on a scrap of parchment.

  “Take her to see the Master. I would be surprised if she leaves alive after her intrusion. If you do, we can talk more of this wager for tomorrow’s fight,” he dictated, shoving the crumbled parchment into a guard’s hands.

  My gut dropped even though I got what I wanted. I had entirely forgotten that it was set tomorrow of all days. It mattered little, for if the prisoner was telling the truth, I would be away from the Everglade. I really did believe her when she swore to her promise.

  The guards led me to a different area of the palace I had never seen. We went up the massive staircase toward the northeastern tower on the higher floor. Everything was gradually growing in grandeur as we approached his quarters. First, the guards gave the parchment to another set of guards on the other side of an ornate metal door. After a few seconds in the hallway, they opened the door and beckoned me inside.

  The guards walked me up yet another staircase that led to a large circular room with four beautiful doors. Each one was made with a mixture of precious gems, red and purple in color, creating their own abstract pictures. The center of the circle room was filled with glass tables and black cushions. The walls were lined with countless tomes, unorganized and stuffed wherever they would fit. Above us hung a ruby chandelier that mimicked a glass spider’s web. It was an entirely different world from what I had been forced to endure.

  “Sit there and wait,” the guard instructed me. I obeyed immediately while he disappeared through the largest door. He emerged only a moment later and sat on a cushion to prevent me from doing anything I was prohibited from.

  I was too nervous to ask the guard how long I would be waiting. Even if I was skeptical of Vince, I would not dare treat him with any sort of impatience. I sat and waited like a good pet for hours. The guards changed shift, servants brought food into the room, and a Femoran noble woman went in and out before there was even a semblance that he had read the note. I was starting to believe I was meaningless to him when the door finally cracked open and the guards disappeared inside.

  “Lord Vince will see you now,” one said, pointing at the largest door when they returned. I watched them walk out of the circular room entirely, leaving me alone with only my Master’s presence.

  So long I had waited for that sacred moment of truth, yet I was paralyzed at the thought of facing him. Slowly I walked to his door with my heart in the pit of my stomach. I knocked, but out of nervousness it was more of a light tap.

  Despite that, a soft voice said, “Enter.”

  I passed into Vince’s room and was instantly awestruck. As if the outside was not impressive enough, he had done all he could to make his room as luxurious as possible. The first part was a sitting area with a few large chairs, even more bookshelves, and a table littered with empty wine bottles. His bed was easily the largest I had ever seen, as even a giant would fit in it comfortably. It was covered in black furs and too many pillows that practically called me to slumber. In front of it, a massive fireplace devoure
d fresh logs. Beyond that, I could spot a deep amethyst basin in the corner of his room near a door to the balcony.

  My Master was tucked in one of his giant armchairs pushed near the fire. He was gazing into the flames, covered in a blanket as though he was trying to warm himself. His black hair was brushed back and soaked from a bath. As I moved slightly closer, letting the door fall shut, he finally acknowledged me.

  “At last, you have come to visit,” Vincent said, gifting me with a full smile for the first time. I nearly forgot why I came – it was distressing that a simple expression could render me useless.

  A wine bottle on the table floated through the air on its own toward my Master’s awaiting goblet. He poured it without using his hands, only his telepathic ability. To my surprise, he poured one for me as well. I still did not move as I was unsure of what to do or say.

  “I don’t understand,” I mumbled, confused and embarrassed.

  “I waited for you to come to me from the Everglade. When you hadn’t, I visited your tournament in hopes that it might inspire you. Even then, you still didn’t visit. I had to be more direct, so I left you that flower. I thought you simply didn’t want to see me,” he explained before taking a sip of his wine.

  My head was swimming. All those years wasted away with my fear keeping me rooted in prison.

  “Anyway, what was it you needed to tell me?” he asked, waving the scrap of parchment in the air.

  “Do you remember the prisoner you brought in weeks ago?” I started, nervous to talk about my lawbreaking.

  “Of course. I signed her execution order yesterday. If she will not tell us what we want to know in life, the trees of Azmordia will gather the answers we seek,” Vince replied confidently.

  He turned to face me completely and opened his arms.

  I was incredibly perplexed as I had no idea what he wanted me to do.

  “Come to the warmth of the fire, beloved. The air is cold even in the summer months here.”

  Cautiously, I made my way over to him. Sensing my hesitation, he grabbed my shaking hands and pulled me into his embrace. He held me close, wrapping the blankets around us. I was overcome with chills despite the fire when his lips brushed my ear.

  “What did you have to say about aforementioned prisoner?” he whispered. One of his hands worked its way through my hair while the other held me so I could not escape his grasp.

  Never had I thought he would show such affections. Surely, he must care for me. I had denied him all that time unknowingly.

  “After her behavior… I sought to punish her for her transgressions. She told me many things,” I admitted. I waited anxiously for an angry response, but instead his arms folded around my ribs tightly.

  “And what did she tell you?” Vince’s voice murmured with his lips on my neck. It could have just as easily been a threat instead of fondness.

  “She talked of living in a castle near the ocean in Naadea… and having a troupe waiting to escort her to Femora,” I said, betraying the prisoner finally. “She even stated that you don’t know my name.”

  “How could I not know your name? I’m the one who named you,” he responded, confirming that she was indeed lying.

  “I thought you should know in case it was information the interrogator was unable to extract,” I whispered. His mouth moved along my neck as he inhaled my scent. My nerves were too on edge to allow me to do anything but sit still as he did what he pleased.

  “You did very well, Lazarus. This information is invaluable to me, as is your company. Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

  Vince held me as he pulled us to our feet. I did not dare refuse his offer, nor did I want to. I had waited for all of this for far too long to waste his precious attention. Still too shy to continue speaking, I nodded briefly when he watched my face for an answer.

  “Let’s see, first a bath I think. Then I can have something for dinner brought in if you are hungry,” he said, handing me my wine.

  I had never tasted wine before, even in Evya, not that I would be able to remember it properly even if I had. It was dry and smelled better than anything I had ingested, save Vince’s blood. After the first sip, I finished all I was given to his pleasure. He brushed his lips against my hand and he dipped in a slight bow.

  “I will return,” Vince said, pointing to the bath near the balcony. As if he had never truly been there, his form dispersed into shadows and seemingly disappeared from the room.

  Being alone was almost as intimidating as being with him, but it was not for a long period of time. I was joined by the Femoran woman I had seen earlier who brought in water for the basin. She did not even glance in my direction as she did her task. Her face was sharp and her eyes were the usual dark orange most of the phoenix people were endowed with. She was beautiful by Femoran standards, but I could tell upon closer inspection that she was not highborn as I originally guessed. Her clothing was lavish despite that.

  I thought she was going to leave me alone once more; instead, she forcefully began to tug my clothing off. Normally, I would have felt irritated at her actions, but I was still in so much shock from all that was happening that I let her do whatever it was she was instructed to. She took my clothes with a disgusted look on her face despite the fact they were clean. They were left balled in front of the fireplace and she hurried out as if she could not stand to be in the room with me. At the time, I thought it was because I was beneath her stature.

  Unsure of what else I could do besides what I was told, I stepped into the basin and instantly was overwhelmed with relief. The water was hot enough to be painful, but it was more warmth than I had been gifted within the prior thirty years or more. The soaps and oils left at the ledge of the basin smelled divine compared to the filth of peasants in the Everglade. I was very generous with it on my skin and hair, not knowing if I would ever have such luxuries again. In the silence, my mind wandered to thoughts of the prisoner. It is not as though I was clueless to her situation; I knew she was naïve to Vince’s nature and our relationship. It was not her words that upset me, rather it was her temptation of freedom. If I fled, I would have not known the truth of my relation to my Master. She was merely the resulting casualty of my fate.

  Vince returned when I had nearly fallen asleep in the water. I woke to my hair being brushed and my first reaction was to act in defense of myself because I had forgotten where I was. My hands grabbed the edge of the basin and ripped myself away fearfully before realizing I was still in his quarters.

  “I had to take care of some business. I trust you enjoyed yourself?” he asked, unabashed to my response to his touch.

  Though I had been without any sort of clothing or covering around him before, my situation was distinctly different. One of his hands was playing in my bath water while he drank from his wine glass and waited for my reply expectantly. He was either oblivious to my nervousness or he simply did not care. I nodded hesitantly.

  “I suppose that means I am due some enjoyment this evening as well,” Vince said to fill the silence. He grabbed my ankle underneath the water and tugged me to him until he could grasp my arm. His hand was forceful as he pulled me from the tub, but not enough for me to feel necessarily threatened. I yearned for his touch for countless years after all.

  My Master was kind enough to hand me a towel plusher than any blanket inside the Everglade. It helped my insecurity around him to be covered as I dried myself off. I thought Vince was moving to grab more wine, but instead he took my bundled clothing from the chair and threw them into the fire. I could not help my distress as I watched them burn. It had taken nearly three decades of killing to afford them.

  “Don’t look so distraught! Drink this… I brought it up specially for you,” he said imperatively, but with a sinful edge to his voice I dare not disobey. A white silver chalice was given to me filled to the brim with a peculiar magical substance. It was the shade of wine, thicker than blood and seemed to shimmer in the light of the fire. His bewitching eyes watched me sip from
it, clearly pleased that I was submitting without much pressure.

  I was unable to take more than a few swallows before Vince filled the space between us and trapped me in an embrace. It was not a normal embrace that one might have with a lover; instead, it was so tight I was constricted against him to the point that it ached. No amount of feeling physically uncomfortable could smother how blissful my mind was to be so near. The torment of my situation melted as though I had never been a prisoner at all. A’roha had never existed while I was in his arms. Not even the purest form of the light could have penetrated my desire to let him consume all I was. The entire world could have caught fire and I would not have minded. Vincent grasped my chin and held me completely still.

  And my lips touched the devil’s.

  I knew him to be Apollyon.

  But I did not mind.

  My Master kissed me until it no longer satisfied him. It had been so long since I had a lover, and with my amnesia, everything was foreign. Even if I had a string of partners leading up until then, I would have felt just as unsure. He was not a normal man by either normal or extraordinary standards. His form may have resembled a man, but he was the furthest thing from it.

  His fangs brushed my lower lip in a bite that drew a miniscule amount of blood. After a simple taste, he was no longer content to only embrace. I was carried to his titan sized bed and removed from my towel. I half expected him to ravage me immediately with the lust in his eyes, but instead he moved back toward the fire. He took time in delicately taking off each one of his rings on his fingers and in his ears, followed by his soft black and gold robes. His body was lean but fit, ashen colored except for a triangular onyx spell seal on his chest.

  After Vince returned to me, he began to kiss the inside of my calf, taking time on each spot as he slowly worked his way upward. I was unable to stop my moaning from all of his contact. Each passing second made me desire him intensely until I could no longer stand it. His lips wandered from my thigh, over my stomach, to each breast and finally my neck.