Breaking Me Softly (English Edition) (Fighting Hearts Book 1)

by Melody Adams

  Chapter 7

  Fay

  Three years later

  “I am really sorry”, said Molly with pity in her eyes. “We just don’t have enough work at the moment and everyone else either has a family or has worked for us for years. I would have to let somebody go and since you don’t have family and are the newest employee, I have to choose you.”

  My thoughts were racing in my head. I was getting fired! Dammit! I knew Molly was right. Only Sue was hired after me and she has two small kids to take care of. It was only logical that she had chosen me, but that did not make the situation any easier. Just last month I had to spend almost all of my savings for a much needed car repair. I did not have money left. If I did not find a new job quickly, I would lose my apartment.

  “I am so sorry”, Molly said again.

  “I know that this is not your fault”, I said. “I understand, It’s just somewhat … unexpected.”

  “I know, but you will get your unused vacation time paid out. I already wrote you great references. I know that you will find a new job quickly. I will give you a list of employment agencies and other health care services that you can try for. Don’t forget to look in the newspapers. Sometimes private people need good caregivers, too. You are young and nice. You should not have any trouble finding something new.”

  I nodded and took the piece of paper Molly was holding out to me.

  “I am giving you the last two days of the month off with pay, so you can focus on finding a new job.”

  “Thanks”, I said and slipped the paper in my pocket. “That was it? Can I go now?”

  “Yes, of course. I wish you all the best.”

  Once home I threw my bag into a corner and plopped down on my crappy couch. Tears of desperation came over me and I buried my head in my hands. What was I to do now? Without a new job I was doomed. I made it this far and was happy with my one bedroom apartment. It had been three years since I had lost my baby because of Martin and had fled the hospital before he could come and pick me up. I still had had his credit card in my pocket and had already emptied out his bank account. With barely enough money, I moved to L.A. and started a new life under the name Fayden Frazer. Frazer was the name of my real dad. I went to nursing school using what was left of the money I had stolen and took low paying jobs to keep my head above water. I had met Violet, who was looking for a roommate through an ad in the paper. By now we both had our own apartments but we were still friends.

  I called V’s number, once I had calmed down a bit.

  “Who is disturbing?” the grouchy voice of my friend came on the line.

  “Oh, sorry” I said, looking at my watch. “Did you have the night shift?”

  “Hmmm.”

  “I am sorry. I forgot. I …”

  “Its okay, sweetie. What’s so important? I can tell that you are upset about something.’

  “I lost my job.”

  “Oh, shit!” said V sadly.

  “Yes, exactly. Shit!” I confirmed.

  “I am sorry sweetie. What are you going to do now?” Do you need money? I don’t have much, but I could give you a little …”

  “No, V” I interrupted her softly. “I don’t need any money. Thanks. I’m still getting my salary for this month and have a little bit of savings. I can’t survive long though unless I find a new job soon.”

  “Hmmm. You know what, sweetie? I am going to jump in the shower, grab some take out and come over. We can think about what to do together.”

  “Sounds good” I said and already felt a bit better.

  “Okay, sweetie. I am on my way. We’ll manage this somehow.”

  “Thanks. You are a darling.”

  “I know”, said V happily. “I am the world’s best friend.”

  “That you are”, I said with conviction. ”Really!”

  “Hey, what are friends for? See you soon!”

  “Soon!”

  After I had finished the call I went into my bathroom and jumped in the shower, then went into the kitchen and made some coffee. Just as I had poured two cups of coffee the doorbell rang.

  I took the coffee into the living room and placed it on a box that served as my table. I went to open the door.

  “Hey, sweetie”, V greeted me and hugged me still holding the bags she had picked up at take out. The smell of Chinese food reached my nose.

  We went into the living room and V placed the bags next to the coffee. She pulled out some newspaper ads from her pocket and gave them to me.

  “Here!” look at these while we eat. “Maybe there are some job offers for nurses. Worst case scenario I can get you a job at my brother’s place. Nothing fancy, but better than losing your apartment.”

  “Thanks”, I said. “Let’s hope I find something as a caregiver.”

  We ate sitting on the floor as it allowed us to spread out the newspapers. I prayed silently that we found something, but it did not look too good.

  “Dammit!” I said frustrated. “All they are looking for are painters, strippers, bartenders and models. And here: Looking for beautiful, energetic woman for video productions. No experience necessary.” I snorted. “It’s pretty obvious what kind of video they are talking about.”

  “Here!” V yelled excitedly. “I got something. Read it yourself!”

  She pushed the newspaper she had studied over to me and pointed at the ad with her index finger.

  Caregiver needed for blind athlete. Only qualified applicants please.

  42 hours / week, Excellent pay

  My heart beat faster. Could that be my chance? I was qualified. Excellent pay with forty-two hours would mean that I could put some money aside. Right now I had 32 hours at regular pay and barely made ends meet.

  “Call!” V said excited. “Like now!”

  “I am scared”, I whispered.

  “Come on, sweetie. You can do this!”

  She took my cell phone and called the number, then handed the phone to me. I had no choice but to apply for the job. I held the phone to my ear and heard it ring. It didn’t take long until somebody picked up and I almost hoped nobody would answer. But then I heard a voice “Yes?”

  I cleared my throat. My heart was racing and I was afraid it would burst.

  “Hello?” I started and frantically searched for words. “My name is Fayden Frazer. I am calling about the ad for a caregiver for a blind athlete.”

  “Yes, of course. I am glad you called, Miss Frazer. Could you come to my office and bring your resume? We are looking for a person that is truly qualified.”

  “Yes, of – of course. I have extensive qualifications. I can come by anytime. What is good for you?”

  “Hmmm. Would it be too late for you to come by today? The patient really needs a caregiver as soon as possible.”

  “No problem. I am coming over right away. Where is your office?”

  V gave me the thumbs up and smiled. The man gave me the address and I ended the call.

  “I am supposed to come by and show my qualifications right away”, I told her happily. V hugged me and we both broke out in laughter.

  “I don’t have the job just yet”, I said.

  “You got it for sure”, V said confidently. “I can feel it!”

  I could not believe it. I had a new job and today would be my first day of work. The man at the employment agency had given me the address of the patient and I was taken aback by the elegant neighborhood. I felt uncomfortable driving up in my crappy Ford and comforted myself with the fact that my patient was not able to see my car. Once I reached the address I parked my car and a feeling of panic came over me. The house was huge and had a huge yard. I could make out a pool behind the house as I was getting out of the car.

  “Good heavens. He must have a lot of money. Too bad he can’t see any of this.”

  I walked towards the house and rang the bell, excitedly waiting for someone to come. I heard footsteps and my hands began to sweat. Then the door opened and I froze.

  “Hello,” he g
reeted and looked over my shoulder. “Are you the new caregiver?”

  I nodded hesitantly until I remembered that he really could not see me.

  “Yes,” I said weakly. My legs felt like they would give out from under me at any moment. I never would have expected to see him again in my life, least of all here in L.A.

  “Good,” he said a bit grumpy. “Come on in ... I am Vincent Mahony. I don’t really need anybody, but my former coach insisted. I really don’t need anyone. It’s not like I am bedridden. I am just fucking blind. The doctor thinks it might only be temporary and some day I could regain my sight back.” He looked in my direction. “What was your name again?”

  “Fay –Fayden Frazer”, I answered slowly.

  He cocked his head and his face took on a thoughtful expression. He somehow seemed absent.

  “Is everything okay with you,” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said. “I once knew a Fay. Fay Dundee. Your name reminds me of her. Even your voice sounds a bit like hers.”

  My heart started to beat faster. I felt like I was about to pass out. Tears were running down my cheeks and I was glad that he could not see me. What should I do? I could not work for him. What if he noticed who I was? But I needed the job and the pay was good. Besides, the possibility of getting to spend time with him was too tempting. He did not know who I was and I got to see him. Could hear his voice.

  “Miss Frazer? Everything okay? Are you crying?”

  “No,” I said and forced a laugh. “I just have a bit of a cold. The air conditioning in my car … I am a bit … sensitive.”

  “Oh, okay!” he said. “Please follow me. I will show you to your room.”

  “My room?”

  “Yes, didn’t they tell you? It’s a live in position.”

  “Oh! I did not know that”, I said surprised.

  “Is this a problem? I was told you have no family. Is that information incorrect?”

  “No, no! That is not a problem. I just did not know it. I just have to pick up a few things from my apartment later is all.”

  “Of course. Please come in now. I will show you around.”

  I followed him into the house, my knees shaking. My life had just taken a completely unexpected turn. It was to be seen if that was a good turn or a bad one.

  Viper

  I closed the door behind the new caregiver and leaned my back against the door. When she mentioned her name, all the old wounds that I so carefully tried to hide were torn open. Fay-den. Fay… I had not forgotten her in all these years. I did not need my eyesight to envision her in front of me. Her wild brown curls, her warm brown eyes. I saw her under me … her lust filled eyes, the soft pink on her cheeks, her lips a bit swollen from my kisses. My cock woke up and pressed hard against the prison that was my jeans. I lowered myself to the ground with a groan and sat on the cold tiles. Tears came to my eyes and I was ashamed of my weakness. Fay! She had been my biggest weakness from the moment she entered my life. I had never opened up to any woman like I had with her, allowed her access to my heart. Fay tore down all the walls I had built around me. For the first time I was not eaten up by self-hatred, had pushed away all the demons of my past and felt like a newborn. I had envisioned a future with her, and a few kids, maybe … a normal life. I should have known right away, that this was just an illusion. A bad joke that fate had played on me. Viper Vincent Mahony did not deserve a normal life. No woman could love the man I was deep inside. A life with Fay would have always been a lie because she would have left the moment that I told her about my past.

  Now this Fayden Frazer came into my life and all the memories of what I would never have, returned to haunt me. Her voice had the same soft ring to it. Even her smell seemed to remind me of Fay. It could not be her, could it? A tiny voice deep within me told me it could be her. Wouldn’t she have revealed herself to me? It was probably my wishful thinking that fooled me into thinking she sounded or smelled like her. Gosh, it happened three years ago. How could I remember the sound of a voice or the smell? No! It was not her. What would she be doing in L.A.? She would not be leaving this far from New York. She would not have run away so far from home. New York and Los Angeles were some twenty-five hundred miles apart. Besides, how large was the probability of running into her all of a sudden, this far from New York, three years later? That she suddenly show up to be my caregiver? I laughed as this was not funny. It was impossible! No! It could not be her!

  I had no idea how long I had been sitting down, leaning against the door. At some point I got up and walked into the living room to grab a bottle of Whiskey from the bar. I sat down in the arm chair and drank the hard liquor straight from the bottle. I usually didn’t drink alcohol and never in large quantities, but right now I had the desire to numb my pain with it. The doorbell rang a bit later and I woke up startled. I got up and staggered across the room. The alcohol had made me slightly disoriented. I only made it to the table and fell over something … had to be the newspaper stand. It is a useless thing anyways as I could no longer read newspapers. I fell down and hit my head against something.

  “Ouch! Dammit!” I cursed and touched my head. Moisture met my hand. Blood. “Fuck!”

  The doorbell rang again. I got up still cursing, trying to find my direction towards the hallway. With my hands outstretched, I reached for the wall and felt my way down the passage that led to the hallway. There was a knock at the door and I heard the voice of an angel.

  “Mister Mahony … Are you there? I am back!” The doorbell was ringing again.

  “Coming”, I said muttering angrily to myself as I moved through the hallway with outstretched arms. I bumped against the wardrobe and cursed again. I seemed to have lost all sense of direction with the consumption of alcohol. Dammit!

  I finally reached the door and opened it.

  The angel let out a yelp.

  “Misterr Mahony! You are hurt … Oh my god! Wait! I will take care of you right away. Just let my put my suitcase inside real quick. There, now I can take care of you.”

  Warm, soft hands reached out for my arms and led me into the living room. I felt the couch touch my legs.

  “Here ... Sit down! I will get the first aid kit … Where is it?”

  “In the bathroom”, I said slurring, “Upppstairsh, second room on the right.”

  “You are completely drunk!”, my angel said accusingly.

  “Yepp”, I confirmed grinning.

  “So really … You should not drink this much … You see what happens. Now just sit tight! I’ll get the bandages.”

  I heard her pumps hit the tiles as she walked off. My head was grumbling and I was not sure if it was the alcohol or the fall.

  Fay

  I rushed out of the room and stormed up the stairs. My heart was beating hard against my chest. It deeply saddened me to see Viper like this. He was completely drunk. How could he manage to do this in such a short time? I had stopped by at V’s place to let her know I got the job, but I wasn’t gone for long. Did Viper do this often? Getting drunk? I wanted to hurry up and take care of him. He was bleeding badly. That was not unusual for a head wound. More often than not, it looked worse than it was. I would have stayed cool and collected with any other patient, but he was not just another patient. It was Viper. The love of my life. The only man in my life. I did not have any relationships in the past three years. I had not even gone on a single date. V tried to hook me up a few times, but had given up. I had not told her who my new patient was. I had to process that myself first.

  I found the bathroom and the cabinet with the first aid things in it right away. I opened it and found some bandages and hydrogen peroxide to clean the wound with. I grabbed it all and headed back down. Viper was lying motionless on the couch. Worried I ran faster. Had he lost consciousness? Did he have a concussion? I kneeled next to him and shook him softly.

  “Vi… Mister Mahony?”

  “Ahhh! My angel haaash returned.” He slurred.

  I took a deep breath.


  “I will take care of your wound now”, I said with a shaky voice. “It will sting a little.”

  “You can hurt me anytime, angel. What mattersh ish that you keep your hands on me.” He grinned and I had to smile.

  “Well, we are about to find out how brave you are, Mister Mahony” I said and started to clean his wound.

  He made a face and winced a few times, but he did not complain. Meanwhile I studied his face knowing that he could not see me do it. I had not forgotten his face. I just had to pay attention to what I said. I had almost called him Viper a moment ago.

  “The cut is not very deep”, I told him. “It does not require stitches. You were lucky. I will bandage you up and would like for you to stay on the couch and sleep it off. You are too heavy for me to catch if we should try to make it up the stairs and you lose consciousness. It’s better for you to stay down here until we know that you can make it to your bedroom. I am going to get you a blanket and something to drink.”

  “There ish another bottle in the bar”, he slurred.

  “Oh no, Mister Mahony. The drink I am talking about is water.”

  He grimaced.

  “I need shomeshing strong, angel. Have to forget… Can’t forget my Fay.”

  Tears came to my eyes and for a moment I was tempted to tell him, that I was here. His condition did not allow for such a revelation. Maybe I would talk with him about it tomorrow, when he was sober again.