Brady

by Kensie King

  “It’s not that big of a deal,” I started, but he shook his head.

  “Then tell me. Right now. What’s your pen name? Why do you have my name in your story?”

  It was like a slap to the face. “What?”

  “I saw it,” Brady told me. “Not on purpose. It was yesterday when I brought you lunch. I accidentally bumped the table and your computer came on. I saw my name and that—” he gave a humorless laugh— “definitely wasn’t a children’s book.”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. I hadn’t shared my stories with anyone else—not even Nellie. They were far too embarrassing. That’s why it was so wonderful that I had my cover as a children’s writer.

  “It wasn’t your place to read that,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

  “I told you it was an accident. And who cares?” Brady asked. “It doesn’t bother me one bit what else you write. I just want you to be open with me.”

  “That’s not…” I gritted my teeth, feeling irrationally betrayed and vulnerable. But it was mostly because I was humiliated. I turned back to the path. “We should go.”

  Brady caught my arm. “Noah, wait. I want to talk about this.”

  “Well, I don’t.”

  He released me but I could hear him close behind. “So you’re just going to walk away from this?”

  “Brady,” I said, my voice irritated. “I need some space. I need…”

  “To run away?”

  I stopped and took a few breaths, hating that he was calling me out. That he knew exactly what I was doing. But he just didn’t understand. It was easier this way. Easier to let the situation diffuse.

  When I spoke again, my voice was calm, even though a storm raged inside. “Brady, please. I need you to give me some space.”

  I didn’t hear his answer over the roar of the waterfall, but he didn’t say anything to me after that. We walked back to the resort and I hurried to my cabin to shut myself inside.

  Chapter 16

  He shut me out. Noah wouldn’t even try to talk to me. And I had no clue why.

  I paced my small living room with a grunt. No, I knew why. He was scared—I just didn’t know of what.

  That was my fault, I supposed. I should have gotten to know Noah better before I completely fell for him.

  But that just wasn’t how it had worked out, and if I had to be honest, I didn’t give a shit.

  I knew what I felt for Noah and I didn’t regret making a move when I did. I also didn’t regret having feelings for him, real true and deep feelings.

  Dammit. I grabbed my windbreaker and stomped out of the cabin. I’d see what Fox was up to. Get his perspective.

  Better than moping in my cabin all day.

  Besides, Noah just said he wanted space. In a few hours, he’d probably be okay to talk to. Maybe he just needed some perspective.

  I watched his cabin as I walked to the restaurant, though, hoping he’d come outside. Hoping he’d come looking for me.

  I’d been about to lay my heart out there and tell him how I felt and then he’d clammed up.

  Nothing like getting ready to tell a man you loved him just to have him run away.

  I kicked mud off my boots when I got to the restaurant and then stepped inside.

  It smelled good. Like clam chowder or one of those delicious soups Fox was always making. It made me want to grab some to go and bring it over to Noah’s place. Share some by the fire since we hadn’t been able to have our lunch there yesterday.

  I heard Fox call from the kitchen. “We’re not open yet!”

  “I know,” I grumbled, sitting on one of the stools at the counter.

  Fox came around the corner. “I said that we’re—oh, hey Brady. Sorry, that couple in cabin five wanted lunch now that we’re open earlier but I told them they had to wait until noon and…” He stopped and put one hand on his hip. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m an idiot, is what’s wrong. Evidently I can’t see what’s in front of me.”

  Fox’s eyebrows lifted. “What’s in front of you?”

  “Someone who clearly doesn’t have the same feelings as me.”

  “Okay, I get we’re probably talking about Noah here but the rest sounds like a riddle.”

  I grunted. “Tell me about it.”

  Noah was a riddle. A mysterious box wrapped in a bow, and when I tried to undo it, there was nothing inside. It didn’t make sense.

  “Hold on,” Fox said.

  He walked back to the kitchen and when he returned, he had a bowl of soup. He set it in front of me, then nudged over a packet of crackers. “Start here.”

  “Soup?”

  “It makes everyone feel better. Just a few bites and then you can tell me the problem.”

  I grumbled about it, but Fox was right. His soup did make everyone feel better—it was comforting and warm. And Fox was like a bartender, standing there and letting everyone open up to him to get out all their troubles.

  I crumbled crackers in the soup and then stirred them in, debated how much I wanted to tell Fox. But how much was there to tell, really? It was simple. I liked Noah and he didn’t have the same feelings.

  “Did you have a fight?” Fox asked.

  I finished my bite, thinking it through. “You could call it that. More like a discussion. But it ended like a fight.”

  “And?”

  I stared at Fox, taking in the concern in his eyes, the slant to his dark eyebrows and wondered how often he had man trouble. Especially when he wasn’t the kind of man who liked to commit. Maybe it was easy for him. Spend some time with someone, enjoy their company, then move on.

  But that wasn’t me. And I hadn’t thought that was Noah either until today.

  “I was trying to get him to open up,” I told Fox. “Trying to learn more about him—and trying to feel him out. I mentioned him visiting more often or—”

  “Ah,” Fox said.

  I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Feelings,” he said. “You made it clear you wanted to see more of him.”

  “So? It’s true. And I thought he felt the same way.”

  “Did he say he doesn’t?”

  I ate another bite of soup, trying to remember exactly what he’d said. “No. He said he figured I’d move on after he left and basically made it sound like this wasn’t a big deal at all.”

  “So he deflected.”

  “What?”

  “He was probably surprised and probably had no idea what to say. So instead, he made it sound like you were the one who didn’t want anything more after this week.”

  I frowned again. “What the hell? Why would he do that? It’s not that complicated.”

  “Not for you, no. But maybe for him.” Fox shrugged and grabbed a rag to wipe the counter. “I have no clue, but I imagine Noah wasn’t expecting this to happen when he came here. No, he isn’t ever expecting something like this to happen. He’s shy—and definitely not the kind who thinks anyone is interested in him so—”

  “Wait, how do you know this?”

  Fox grinned. “Because I’ve tried to talk to him before. More than once over the last several years. The guy blushes every time I even smile at him and he barely talks about himself. Trust me, I didn’t take it too far because I knew you were into him—but I did try to talk, to make him comfortable. And damn, that man is shy. And I swear, he probably had no clue you felt anything for him.”

  “He told me he didn’t.”

  Fox nodded. “So he was clearly not in the same headspace. This came out of nowhere for him.”

  “It came out of nowhere for me,” I argued.

  “Sure, but you were open to it. Maybe he wasn’t—not intentionally, but we all live our lives differently. I’m all about taking an opportunity when I see one but other people…sometimes they think those opportunities are too good to be true.”

  I sat back in the seat, trying to make sense of his words. It was true that Noah was shy. True that he’d had trouble opening
up to me since the beginning—but apparently, he was that way with everyone so I couldn’t take it too personally.

  “Listen,” Fox said, “I’m not saying that’s necessarily how Noah feels, but he wouldn’t have spent time with you if he didn’t feel something.”

  “But maybe that something isn’t enough,” I said, resigned.

  “That’s not necessarily true. Some people just aren’t as good at recognizing or understanding their emotions. Especially if that’s not the headspace they’re in. Love is confusing and definitely not black and white. I bet that’s why he likes writing so much. Because he can create worlds he understands.” Fox gestured to the kitchen. “That’s why I like cooking. It’s straightforward and all the interpretation is left up to me. I can experiment or make it simple and easy, but I always know how a dish is going to turn out.”

  I sighed and nodded. “You’re right. It’s not black and white for him.”

  I thought back to our conversation in my new house and how reluctant Noah was to start something—anything—though he made it clear he wanted to.

  When the door opened, I stood halfway in my seat, hoping it was Noah. But Derek came through with a nod.

  “I heard clam chowder was on the menu,” he said.

  I got off the stool and gestured to my spot. “It is. It’s good, too.”

  Fox smiled his thanks. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to go talk to Noah,” I said.

  Derek shook his head. “You can’t. He just left.”

  “Left?” I asked, my heart lurching.

  “You mean he went for a drive,” Fox reasoned. “Or—”

  “No, he checked out.” Derek frowned, looking concerned. “Something wrong?”

  “Wait, when did this happen?” I asked.

  “Ten minutes ago? He brought back the key and said he was checking out early. He told me to keep the money for tonight but that he had to get back home.”

  “Shit,” I hissed, moving to the door. “You said ten minutes?”

  “Yes, but—”

  I didn’t wait for the rest of what Derek was going to say. Ten minutes meant that Noah could be too far away, and I had to catch up to him before I lost him for good.

  Chapter 17

  I tried calling Nellie but when I couldn’t get through, I’d packed up everything I had and threw it in my car.

  There was no way I was going to get any more writing done this week anyway. It made sense to head home.

  At least things there made sense. They were predictable.

  Here, I had no idea who I was or what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that it made me feel out of control.

  After I checked out, I drove straight to the main road. It was another wet day, drops of rain splattering the windshield.

  It would have been a perfect day for writing. Or for spending time with Brady by a fire. But now he knew my secret—and he was frustrated with me.

  Honestly, I didn’t know how to navigate that. I felt bad for leaving, but what was I supposed to do? His feelings didn’t make sense. Sure, he was enjoying the high of spending time with someone new, but after this week or the next he’d probably get tired of me. Or mad that I wasn’t as open with him as he was with me.

  Or bored.

  There were a million ways he could react but being in love with me wasn’t one of them.

  So I drove away from Belle Resort. Shit. I needed to get gas soon. And I needed to focus.

  Driving in the rain while I was feeling like this probably wasn’t a good thing.

  When the rain picked up, I took a breath and then decided to pull over. Under the cover of trees, the rain was quieter. I sighed and squeezed the wheel.

  Fuck. What had I done?

  I should have at least told Brady I was leaving. But then what? That wouldn’t change anything. He’d still be Brady, this amazing guy who deserved everything he wanted, and I’d still be Noah, a guy I was pretty sure was meant to be alone.

  I had no idea what love really looked like. My kind of love was the kind in my books—the kind that lasted forever. The perfect kind of love that never died.

  I swallowed. I had to admit, Brady had been pretty close to perfect, though. And everyone had faults—even in my stories. Brady seemed like the kind of guy who wanted to work through whatever got in the way and continue on—in a healthy way. Just like the guys in my books. Basically, he was one of my characters.

  And I was in love with him.

  “Shit,” I said, my heart clenching.

  I might have just fucked up something amazing. Or, I might have walked away from something that could ultimately hurt me down the road.

  When my phone rang, I froze, thinking it might be Brady. But he didn’t even know my number, did he? It was on file at the office, though—

  I blew out a breath when I saw it was Nellie and answered right away.

  “Hey, Noah,” she said. “Sorry I missed your call.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “You all right? Still hanging out with the sexy handyman?”

  “I left.”

  “What? You mean you’re coming home?”

  I spilled it all, telling her everything that had happened with Brady, including the pen name, which I’d never told her before. It was like a dam had broken and I needed to get it all out.

  “Wow,” she said when I was finished. “That’s a lot. Okay, listen, it’s really simple.”

  I gave a choked laugh. “Is it?”

  “Yes. Do you love him?”

  I didn’t say anything for a long moment. Long enough that Nellie spoke again.

  “Why are you hesitating?” she asked.

  “Because I’m scared,” I told her. “I’ve never been in love before.”

  “See! You are in love. Don’t be like me, Noah. If you feel it, you should go for it. I know you and you don’t fall for anyone easily. You’re too smart for that. You can’t mess this up.”

  “But what if it doesn’t work out?”

  “Then it doesn’t work out. But are you really willing to take that chance?” she asked. “People do stay together, Noah. I swear. Mom and I are terrible examples. But I’m trying to make it work with James and we’ve been seeing a counselor. She thinks I run from good things because that’s what I’ve seen growing up with mom. Don’t run from this, Noah.”

  It was exactly the same thing that Brady had said. That I was running. And he was right. I was scared that this might be real—scared to give in because I’d seen so many relationships fail.

  “You’re right,” I whispered.

  “Damn right I am. I’m great at giving advice about relationships—just terrible at taking it,” she said with a laugh. “Please. If you love him, go back.”

  I thanked her and hung up, my heart already racing. I needed to go back and tell Brady how I felt. And if he didn’t feel the same way, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw another car coming down the road. “Hurry,” I murmured, impatient to turn around.

  But instead of passing me on the side of the road, the truck pulled behind me. I peered closer and then my mouth dropped open. It was Brady.

  Without hesitating this time, I got out of the car. It was raining harder now, and he had his windbreaker zipped up to his neck and a hat on.

  “Noah,” he said, concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”

  Instead of answering, I walked straight up to him and wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

  “What? Wait—is there something wrong with your car or—”

  “No. I pulled over because I felt bad and then—” I shook my head. It didn’t matter. “I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry. I should have talked to you and…” I swallowed and looked into his eyes. “I love you.”

  He blinked, lips parting like he wasn’t sure what to say.

  “It’s okay,” I told him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way or—or whatever. I just needed to te
ll you and—”

  Before I could finish, he kissed me, hard enough I had to take a step back. But Brady kept his arms around me, holding me tight. Keeping me safe.

  When he moved back, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his truck. “Let’s talk in here.”

  I got in the passenger seat and waited for him to get in on the other side.

  Just like it had with Nellie, the dam burst and I felt like I needed to tell Brady everything.

  “I didn’t know what to do,” I told him. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. And my sister and my mom are in love with someone new pretty much every week. They’ve had dozens of relationships, and I didn’t want to be like that.”

  He reached out and brushed his thumb on my cheek. “You were scared.”

  “I was.”

  “I get that. And I know it’s probably hard for you to talk about yourself or your life—you’re a private person.”

  “I am.” I took his hand and held it tight in my own. “But I want to be open with you. I’ll tell you anything you want.”

  His lips curved. “Even your pen name?”

  “Even that.”

  “Were you writing about me?” he asked.

  My cheeks flushed but I nodded. My gaze dropped to our hands. But I’d said I’d be honest. “I write romance under my pen name. And God, how was I not supposed to write about you? You inspired so many of my characters.”

  Brady lifted my chin with his free hand. “Please don’t be embarrassed about that. It’s pretty flattering, actually. Not only that I inspire you, but that you actually had those kinds of feelings for me for a long time.”

  “Since the beginning,” I told him honestly, meeting his eyes. “I thought you were sexy and nice and—”

  “Fuck, Noah,” he said. “If you keep talking like that, we’re going to have issues.”

  I grinned, glancing down. “Issues?”

  “You make me want you—everything you do. And I understand everything you’re telling me.”

  “Good.” I smiled at him. “So you forgive me?”

  “Yes.”

  “That easy?”

  He nodded and leaned into kiss me. “That easy. But can I ask one favor?”