Falling for Forever

by Melissa Chambers

  “So careful,” I say.

  I head back up to the house and find everyone piled up on the couches eating muffins and picking on each other. Aww, my friends. I’ve never really had a crew like this. Chloe and I have been sort of on our own these past few years. We hung out with other people, but not like this. These people sort of remind me of…family.

  I take a shower, get dressed for the day, and then make my way back to the living room. The guys have the television on Sports Center while the girls sit in a circle painting their toenails. I think about sitting next to Miles on the couch, but instead, I go out on the screened-in porch that overlooks the lake. I sit on a loveseat and flip through my phone.

  The door opens. “Hey.”

  I try not to smile at the sound of Miles’s voice. “Hey, birthday boy.”

  He sits next to me. “Did you get your call made?”

  “Yep.”

  He nudges me in the side. “You left last night.”

  I shrug, head still in my phone. “I didn’t want everyone making a big deal today.”

  He covers my phone screen with his hand and pushes it down to my lap. “Are you sure that’s it?”

  I meet his gaze. “Yes, of course.”

  He searches my eyes, and then my lips. He moves in, and I move back.

  “So, I can’t kiss you now?” he asks.

  I stare at him, making him wait for my response. “I’m not sure.”

  I try to stand up, but he pulls me back down. I give him a lazy stare, making sure he knows I’m not his doll to be dragged around.

  “I know I screwed up last time. I just didn’t think I could handle being with you…for a variety of reasons.”

  “Like what?” I ask.

  “Well, the show…”

  I make a motion with my hand. “And?”

  “Your dad.”

  I cock my head to the side. “Really? He was that terrifying?”

  “Yes.” He plays with a piece of wicker on the back of the loveseat. “You and your dad are terrifying together. You’re so close and comfortable with one another. I don’t fit into your equation with him. The way he looked at me, I felt like this piece of trash he just wanted to sweep out of his way.”

  I put my hand on his arm. “You are not a piece of trash. You just fell asleep with his daughter. There’s a big difference.”

  He looks down at his hand in his lap. “I was totally freaked out when you started talking to him about us kissing and used condoms lying around.”

  I remember the look on his face and hold back my giggle.

  He meets my gaze. “You can be intimidating, Jenna.”

  I blink, taken aback by his words. “I can?”

  He huffs a laugh. “Hell, yeah. But that’s part of what I like about you.” He holds my hand and rubs his thumb over my knuckles. “I hated that week we didn’t talk. I was so miserable. I couldn’t read or do homework or even watch television without thinking of you. You’re all that’s on my mind. All the time. Jenna at my desk. Jenna in my books. Jenna at the dinner table. Jenna on my screens.” He meets my gaze. “Jenna in my bed.”

  I swallow hard, my throat threatening to close up. “I think about you, too.”

  He shakes his head. “Not as much as I think about you. I can promise you that.”

  He goes in for a kiss now, and I let him. He cups the back of my neck and threads his fingers up through my hair. He tastes like toothpaste, all cool and minty, and I let out a sigh as he pulls away.

  A weird yelp comes from the living room, and we both turn slowly to find everyone piled up on the couch watching us. They all start clapping and shouting, pumping their fists in the air.

  Miles lets his head fall back, all cute with embarrassment. “Come on, let’s figure out something to do today before people start saying they’re bored.”

  “Okay,” I say with the stupidest smile on my face, I’m sure.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Jenna

  Miles drives us to this little town called Rugby that’s a throwback to ninteenth-century England. We take pictures by old British-looking buildings and eat at this ancient café. Miles was really knowledgeable about the town, giving us all a history lesson, basically. Jasmine had to hit Nat upside the head a few times when he started showing signs of boredom. I thought it was adorable, how excited Miles was about history. I note that I’ll have to let Chloe and Landon know about this place. Landon loves history.

  We eat homemade birthday cake for dinner, and we all pile in the living room to watch a game Jasmine and Dev are into. I make them switch it to the Georgia Tech game during the commercials.

  I sit with Miles in a big chair that’s probably just meant for one person, but I have my legs flopped over his to give us more room. We balance a big bowl of popcorn on our laps. I grab a piece and point at the television. “That’s Landon!”

  He’s walking on the field, looking all serious through his helmet, biting on a mouth guard, sweat dripping down his face.

  “He’s dating your friend?” Jasmine asks.

  “Yep,” I say proudly.

  She weaves her eyebrows together. “Damn.” Nat grabs the remote to turn it, and Jasmine grabs it back. “Her friend is on television. Do you mind?”

  I wave them off. “It’s fine. I watch him all the time. He’ll forgive me this once.”

  Miles sort of pulls back so he can see me. “So you’re pretty tight with him?”

  “Well, yeah. I lived with him and his mom all summer. Kind of hard not to get close.”

  Miles frowns and grunts, looking back at the screen.

  I run my hand over his chest. “Not like that. He’s all Chloe’s.”

  He grunts again, and he’s so cute all jealous that I have to kiss him.

  “No!” Greta shouts. “We already have to watch that with Dev and Nicolette. Not the two of you, too.”

  I pull away and swipe at my mouth. “Sorry.”

  I shove in a mouthful of popcorn, and then Landon makes an awesome catch so I give a muffled yell and throw my hand in the air. He runs in for a touchdown, and I yell again, doing a little dance in my seat.

  “He’s damn good,” Dev says.

  I text Chloe a gif of two girls tossing up confetti, and at the same time, she texts me one back that’s almost identical.

  I look over at Miles and he’s smiling. “Cool.”

  I kiss him quickly before Greta can catch us and get some more popcorn.

  After the game’s over, Nat gets out the beer and he, Dev, Nicolette, and Jasmine settle in for a game of Spades. Greta’s MIA, which we all know means she’s flirting on her phone.

  Miles motions me toward the door. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

  I zip myself up in my hoodie, and Miles grabs a flashlight.

  He takes my hand and we walk down the same path I took to get to the spot I called Chloe from this morning, but we keep walking until we get to a dock that jets out into the lake.

  “This reminds me of a dock we hung at some this summer in Destin,” I say.

  “What dock?”

  “You know Destin?” I ask.

  He stops and picks up a handful of rocks. “Little bit. My family has a house in Alys Beach.”

  “Your family has three houses?” I ask.

  He shrugs.

  The dock creaks under my feet with each step. “What a different life you and I lead.”

  “Not really. We go to the same school.”

  “Yeah, but we go home to very different places.”

  He motions for me to sit. “I don’t know that our lives are that different, though. You have your problems with your mom. I have mine with my dad.”

  I settle on the dock, letting my legs hang over the edge. “Tell me why your dad’s so awful. I know he won’t pay for Belmont, but what else?”

  “It’s not just that he won’t pay. It’s that he’s trying to control my life. He doesn’t listen to anything I say. Just yesterday when he was giving
me the condom talk, he made me email him my receipt from the Emory application. This was right after I’d said for the hundredth time that I was going to Belmont. He doesn’t hear a word I say.” The frustration shows through his worried expression.

  “Do you think he doesn’t think you can figure out how to pay for Belmont on your own?”

  He stares out at the calm water. “I think he thinks he’s going to bully me into submission.”

  “Is he?” I ask.

  He picks up one of the rocks and skips it into the lake. “Fuck, no.”

  I hold up the weight of my body with my hands. “At least he cares about your future, right or wrong.”

  He shakes his head. “If he cared, he’d listen to what I want and not what he thinks is best.”

  “I don’t know that it works that way.”

  He frowns, rolling another rock in his palm.

  “What about your mom?” I ask. “What does she say about paying for Belmont?”

  “She doesn’t want my dad to pay for any of my school. She paid for her own, and she wants me to pay for my own. She says it’s character building.”

  I consider it. “I guess it is.”

  He studies me. “What about your mom? You said she supported you going to L.A. At least she’s listening to what you want.”

  I huff a laugh. “She wants me out of her hair. There’s a big difference.”

  He rubs my thigh. “Are you sure? I just can’t imagine.”

  “Quite.”

  He waits for me to meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to go to L.A.,” he says.

  I smile at him. “You could come with me. Screw school.” I hope he knows I’m joking. I widen my smile to make sure. Of course, I’d love for him to come with me, but no way am I going to be the one who derails him from his plans. I know I wouldn’t want him to ask that of me.

  He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I think I’m good in Nashville.”

  I push on his thigh playfully. “With your composing, seems like L.A. would be the town for you. All those movies and television shows being made. You could write scores and stuff. Why are you wanting to stay in Nashville?”

  He shrugs. “I’ve got to go to college.”

  “What about like UCLA? Or hell, it wouldn’t even have to be L.A. You could go to Berklee in Boston or NYU. Why aren’t you aiming higher than Belmont?”

  His ears look like they’re getting redder. “Belmont’s a great school.”

  “Yeah, but it’s here in Nashville where you’ve always been. Aren’t you dying to see what else is out there?”

  He carves a line in the wood with one of the rocks. “Nat and I have been planning on Belmont since we were in middle school.”

  I can see I’m hitting a nerve, but I can’t let it go. “Miles, you can’t let a middle school promise to Nat dictate your life.”

  He furrows his brow. “I’m not. This is what I want.”

  “Okay,” I say, but I’m not sure I believe him. Regardless, I need to drop the subject. I pick up one of his rocks and toss it into the lake. “So, is what you’re doing for the talent show on the piano?”

  He grins, just barely. “I can’t say.”

  “Can you give me a hint?”

  He thinks about it and then shakes his head. “No way.”

  “You don’t trust me?” I ask.

  “Not as far as I can throw you in that lake, not with this.”

  I push him. “Miles!”

  He chuckles. “What? It’s the truth. We’ve got to be careful if we’re going to do this with each other. I’m not going to be sorry about anything down the road. No slipups. We can have fun together now, but when the time comes, neither of us can hold back.”

  I sit up straight. “We won’t.” An owl hoots in the distance. I glance over at him. “So did you go to Alys Beach with your family this past summer?”

  “Yep.” He rolls a rock between his two palms. “I was down there with my mom and brother for a few weeks between June and July. My dad came for part of that time.”

  “So we were down there at the same time,” I say.

  “Sounds like it.”

  “We could have bumped into each other. Cynthia, Landon’s mom, took me shopping on 30A several times. We ate at Café 30A. Did you eat there when you were down there?”

  “Many times,” he says.

  I smile. “I guess we’re not too different.”

  He nudges me. “So did you have a summer boyfriend in Destin?”

  I huff a laugh. “I had a sort of Nat/Jasmine relationship with this friend of Landon’s. But that was it.” I think about it. “Do you know I didn’t kiss one single guy the whole summer?”

  “Should we log you in at guinnessworldrecords.com?”

  I grab his arm. “I will push you into this lake, rich boy.”

  He slides his arm inside of mine. “Don’t call me that.” He kisses me on the cheekbone.

  “What about you?” I ask. “When’s the last time you were kissed?”

  “Earlier this morning.”

  I dig into his stomach with my thumb and forefinger. “Before that.”

  He lets out a deep breath and then meets my gaze. “Never…like that.”

  I let it go, because that’s too good of an answer to be ruined.

  We join the crew and they turn their Spades game into Hearts so we can play. Around midnight, Jasmine tosses her cards into the middle. “I’m out.” She gets my attention. “Can I borrow your facial cleanser?”

  “Yeah, it’s on the sink.”

  She gives a little nod of her head. “I looked for it before, and I couldn’t find it. Come show me.”

  I catch the hint and follow her into our big bedroom where Greta is asleep with her phone still in her hand on the edge of the bed.

  Jasmine leads me into the bathroom. “I can pull Nat in here with us tonight, and you and Miles can have that other bedroom…if you want.” She turns her head to the side in question.

  “Oh,” I say, not expecting that. “Nat, in here?” I ask, making sure I’m understanding her clearly.

  She rolls her eyes. “He messes with me, but he’s respectful. He won’t do anything if I set him straight. Besides, he’s wasted. He’ll be passed out as soon as he hits the mattress.”

  “What about his snoring? He’s louder than a freight train.”

  She waves me off. “I’ll just roll him over on his stomach. My mom says that’s what she does when my dad snores.”

  I smile. “That’s really sweet, but I can’t ask that of you.”

  “I really don’t care,” she says. “I’m fine with it. What matters is what you want.” She raises her eyebrows.

  I look out to make sure he’s not nearby. “Thank you for the offer, but this is really sweet between him and me. I’m kind of liking it just like that right now.”

  She grins. “He’s a good one, girl. I’d hang on to him.”

  “I think I might.”

  “All right,” she says, and we head back into the living room.

  I find Miles in the kitchen covering up the cake. I collect plates and other trash and wipe down the counters. When we’re finished with everything, we slide into each other’s arms so naturally. It’s like we always fit together, but we never knew it until now.

  I smile up at him. “I hope you’ve had a happy birthday.”

  He hovers near my mouth, our noses grazing one another’s. “The best ever.”

  As we kiss, my body winds itself into motion, all my senses coming alive—my pieces and parts fluffy and demanding all at the same time.

  His hands travel up and down my back and linger lower. I’ve got on leggings, so his touch is right there at my skin, making me so freaking nuts.

  Be strong, Jenna. I repeat it in my head like a mantra. I let out a deep breath as my mouth leaves his, and I pull him close, flush against my body. I hold him there to me, and he rests his chin down on my shoulder. I drag myself apart from him, my body screaming at my brain fo
r the betrayal. “I’m gonna go to bed with the girls,” I say.

  He closes his eyes, nodding. “Yeah. That’s…that’s good.”

  I tug his shirt toward me. “You’re such a terrible liar.”

  He smiles and kisses me again, keeping it short and sweet this time. He pulls away. “I’ll miss sleeping with you.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “I’ll miss other things.”

  He closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

  I love seeing that this is as hard for him as it is for me. “Are you disappointed?”

  He puts his hands on my waist. “Of course, but I understand. I just wasn’t strong enough to pull away first…” He trails off, then adds, “Or at all.”

  He’s been vague with his sexual status, and I’m getting very curious. I back up to the countertop, bringing him with me. “So just out of curiosity, if I decided not to be strong, would you be strong for the both of us?”

  He inhales a deep breath and lets it out. “I don’t know,” he says, his voice shaky from a partial chuckle.

  I narrow my gaze, searching him from one eye to the other. “Would you be…ready?”

  He nods, boring his gaze into mine. “Oh yeah.”

  I smile. “What if I say I want to wait till I’m married?”

  He huffs a laugh. “Then that’d be fine.”

  I put a finger between our mouths. “Just so I’m clear, you would date me from now until I leave for L.A. without having sex.”

  He runs a hand through his hair. “You’re killing me with these twenty questions.”

  I lift my chin, waiting for an answer.

  He sighs. “Yes, of course I’d date you without the promise of sex.”

  For some reason, this makes me want to have sex with him even worse now.

  I give a single nod. “I’ll log that.”

  He picks me up and sets me on the countertop, and we kiss over and over just like last night. I’m really regretting my decision to not let Nat sleep with Jasmine and Greta, but I know it’s for the best. Kissing Miles before the talent competition is one thing, but letting him be my first before it is quite another. I’ve heard horror stories of guys and girls who have gotten attached to their first. I will not do that. My mom’s rule of many boys, not one boy may not be my thing, but it’s also not my style to put myself in a position of weakness. I think of Dev and Nicolette, who have been attached at the middle all weekend because they spent like two weeks apart. I will not be ruled by my body. I will be strong. I will stop kissing Miles and go to bed…eventually.