Falling for Forever

by Melissa Chambers

  “I’m not asking her to do anything. She’s clearly not in a state to make any decisions.”

  To my horror, Mrs. Barclay heads our way, the clickety-clack of her heels raising the hairs on my arms.

  The girls part for her, and Bianca faces her. “I’ve got two minutes, Bianca. What did you need to see me about?”

  Bianca stares at me, eyebrows raised.

  I look at Nat, practically coming out of his skin, then I look at Jenna, who looks to be regaining her composure.

  “Actually,” Bianca says. “Miles was just telling me something you should probably hear. Right, Miles?”

  I turn to Nat, so desperate for me to say what he wants me to hear, and then I turn to Jenna, her expression firm and almost unreadable. But I know how much she wants this, and I can’t imagine she’s ready to hand it over to Nat…especially by way of Bianca.

  I stand there, running my hand through my hair.

  “Mr. Cleveland,” Barclay says. “What’s going on?”

  I turn to Nat, and then I turn to Jenna, and I don’t turn away from her.

  Her breathing is now steady, her eyes ominous. She holds up a hand. “Actually, it was me who had something to say.”

  I can feel her give me one last look, but I can’t meet her gaze now.

  She turns back to Barclay. “It’s more of a question. Is there smoking allowed on school property?”

  I blink and turn back to her.

  Mrs. Barclay puts her hands on her hips. “No, of course not.”

  “Okay,” Jenna says. “Just checking because I saw a bag of weed in Bianca’s locker earlier today, and I just wondered…”

  Bianca’s smug expression falls right off her face.

  Barclay looks at Bianca. “Is this true, Bianca?” She looks like she doesn’t believe Jenna.

  Bianca shakes her head, looking away. “Of course not. She’s only saying this because I was getting ready to expose her and Nat.”

  While Bianca starts in with her story, Jenna pulls Bianca’s minion Gracie aside, and I listen in.

  “I saw you and your friend there the night of the dance toking away in full view of a security camera,” Jenna says. “If you two back Bianca, I’ll happily pull that little gem out.”

  Gracie’s face falls flat, and she whispers something to Brooke.

  Brooke looks around, eyes wild. She steps up to Jenna. “You’re bluffing. There’s no cameras focused where we were.”

  Nat steps into the hushed conversation. “I installed it at the end of September after the robbery.”

  “What robbery?” Gracie asks.

  “The one everyone’s been talking about,” Nat says.

  Now I know he’s bluffing. I’ve never heard anything about a robbery, and Nat wouldn’t forget to tell me that he let out a fart, much less than he installed security cameras.

  “Why didn’t you say something?” Brooke asks.

  Nat scrunches up his face. “I don’t know you.”

  The girls step back and consult each other. They give us one last look, and then huddle in with the other ones who have drifted away from Bianca and Barclay. Those two were probably just the ones Jenna saw smoking. They’re probably all guilty.

  I lean into Jenna’s ear. “Did you really see that bag of weed?”

  She glares at me in response, and I know I’m 100 percent screwed.

  Barclay comes at us with pursed lips. “Is this true? Nat destroying a monitor to cover up this whole ridiculous story?”

  The three of us play dumb, looking at each other in confusion. “What happened?” I ask.

  Barclay looks at Bianca’s girls. “Is this true? Did you all hear Nicolette say this same thing?” Barclay looks around. “Is she here?”

  “I don’t see her,” Nat says and then he and Jenna exchange looks. Jenna starts thumbing into her phone at light speed, presumably warning Nicolette, or at least I hope that’s what she’s doing.

  Barclay looks at Bianca’s girls for confirmation, but they’re as confused looking as we are.

  “Gracie…Claire…Brooke!” Bianca looks between all of them, who look anywhere but at her.

  Barclay lets out a hefty sigh. She looks around to all the parents who are starting to reseat themselves and begin to eat. “I don’t have time for this tonight.” She meets Nat’s gaze. “Nat, is any of this true or is something else going on here?”

  Nat looks as innocent as he did when we ate a whole pan of brownies and denied it, our faces covered in chocolate. “No, ma’am. She sounds crazy to me.”

  Bianca stomps. “I can’t believe you all!”

  She starts to storm out, but Barclay catches her and addresses us as a group. “I don’t know what is going on with the lot of you, and I do not have time to mess with this tonight. I am going to the office now to call Nicolette’s parents and try to get to the bottom of this with her. In the meantime, I’m going to have Mr. Weston escort you to your locker, Bianca, to look for a bag of weed.” She stretches her mouth out wide to say the word that she is clearly uncomfortable with.

  She points at us. “Know this. I’ve got my eye on every one of you. If you so much as step one baby toe out of line, I’m coming down harder than you could possibly imagine. Does every one of you understand me?” She takes a turn eyeing each one of us individually and then scans the group, her expression murderous. She locates Weston and heads in his direction.

  Bianca tosses up her hands. “What just happened?” The girls start talking over one another to explain.

  Jenna takes off out of the cafeteria. I follow after her. “Jenna, wait.”

  When we get to the lobby, she turns around, pointing at me. “Back off, Miles. I’m warning you.”

  “Was that Nicolette you were texting just then?”

  “Yes, and she’s so freaking sorry.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “She’s covering for us.”

  The relief releases my tight chest. “I wasn’t asking you not to compete.”

  She raises her eyebrows. “Oh, you weren’t? Because you weren’t turning in Nat, either. And we both know that according to Bianca Bitch, no response meant everyone went down.”

  “I just…I couldn’t do that to Nat. I’ve been protecting him my whole life.”

  She nods, her lip snarling up. “Oh, but you could do it to me. Did it ever occur to you that by constantly protecting him, you’re encouraging him? He can do stupid shit all day long. Miles is going to take care of everything.”

  My throat burns with my own stupidity. I put my hand to my forehead, knowing I’ve got a long way to go to dig out of this. “I didn’t even know for sure if you were planning to compete. Something’s obviously wrong. You’ve been gone all week. You won’t talk to me or even text me. Honestly, I don’t even know if we’re still together.”

  “Well,” she says, her voice shaking. “It’s nice to know it didn’t take you long to turn your back on us.”

  I drop the tension in my shoulders. “Jenna, come on.”

  “Come on, what? Did it ever occur to you that something major may have happened to me, and that I’m not ready to talk about it yet?” I step to her and she backs away, hands up. “Don’t touch me.”

  I drop my hands to my sides. “Then will you please tell me what happened?”

  She rubs her face, her hand shaking. She stares down at a spot on the floor. “My mother left, and before she did, she let me know exactly what she’d always thought of me.” She huffs a laugh. “Not that any of it was a surprise, but hearing that your own mother never really loved you coming from her own mouth has a way of really fucking with you. Not that you would have a clue what I’m talking about.”

  The blood drains from my face, and my heart singes my chest. “Jenna, I’m so sorry.”

  She drags her gaze up to meet mine, her eyes lethal. “As far as your question of whether or not I’m going to compete goes, you can bet your sweet ass I’m competing.” She steps toward me, and I take an involuntary step back. “Bianca, and
Shane, and all these other assholes at this school might think you’re this untouchable next coming of Christ, but you listen to me, I’m not threatened by you, I’m not afraid to compete against you, and I fully plan to take every cent of that money from you. Do you hear me?”

  I swallow and nod.

  She stands up straight and looks me up and down. “And work on your scheming skills. Nat and I had to carry that whole thing in there. If you had any game you wouldn’t have had to make a decision at all.”

  She smooths out her dress, and we both turn to see Weston walking out with Bianca.

  He points at Jenna. “Jenna, why don’t you come with us. You were the one who said you saw the bag of pot in her locker, aren’t you?”

  She points at her nose. “You know…now that I think about it…it may have been her snack.” She makes eye contact with Bianca. “Do you eat like…I don’t know…sunflower seeds or that wilted kale crap…or something like that?”

  Bianca swallows and then nods. She points at Jenna. “Yeah, you know, I think you may have seen my pumpkin seeds that I had in there earlier today in a plastic bag. They were sort of balanced on my hook because I didn’t want them to get crushed. Is that what you might have seen?”

  Jenna nods. “Totally.” She looks at Weston. “I think we’re all good here.”

  Weston stares between all three of us and then rolls his eyes. He jerks a thumb toward the cafeteria. “All three of you, get back in there and try not to cause any more trouble this weekend, okay?”

  “Absolutely,” Jenna says.

  “Totally,” Bianca says.

  I just nod at Weston and hang my head.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Miles

  I sit on a lounge chair by the pool in our backyard, flipping my phone over and over. Her mother left her…again…and during one of the most important weeks of her senior year. I can’t even begin to comprehend what that means to her.

  I can’t imagine what those words were that her mother said that cut her so deep. When we’ve talked about our problems with our parents, I’ve equated my dad with her mom, but my dad would never leave me. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t listen, but he’ll always provide for me. I look around at the place I live, the things we have. All of this is because of him.

  My mom opens the French doors and wraps her sweater tightly around her. “Are you all set for tomorrow night?”

  I nod. “Yeah. All set.”

  She sits in the chair next to me. “What was all that earlier tonight with Mrs. Barclay? Everything okay?”

  I inhale a deep breath. “Yeah. It was just that girl Bianca being a—”

  “Easy,” she says.

  “I know,” I say. My mom’s always been sensitive about anyone using derogatory female terms…even when it’s deserved.

  “What happened, Miles?”

  I try to blow it off, but she gives me that look that tells me she’s not letting this one go. I tell her everything going all the way back to the Sensation audition. She always knew someone took my number, she just didn’t know it was Jenna.

  When I finish, I meet her gaze. “Are you going to turn in Nat to Barclay or his mom?”

  She thinks about it a second and then gives me a look. “Not Mrs. Barclay. I may tell Shannon, though.”

  My heart sinks. “He’s gonna kill me.”

  “She’s got to pay for that monitor, and he’s got to pay her back. He can’t go through life knowing that he can do stuff like this and get away with it.”

  “Can’t we just donate the money to the school anonymously?”

  She frowns. “Sweetheart, at some point you’ve got to let Nat make his own mistakes and learn from them. I’m not so sure Nicolette shouldn’t have told Mrs. Barclay everything. He’s got to face consequences once in a while.”

  I inwardly cringe as Jenna’s similar words ring in my head. “It’s just…I feel bad for him.”

  “Why?”

  “Just…in general.”

  “What, because he doesn’t have a dad?” she asks.

  “And his mom’s never around,” I toss in.

  “That’s not your responsibility, sweetie.” She puts a hand on my arm. “You are not responsible for Nat.”

  I meet her gaze, taking in her words. “Then why does it feel like it?”

  She smiles at me. “Oh, my sweet boy. You took him in from the day I started watching him. I remember you walked two months before your first birthday. He tried so hard for so long, but he just couldn’t stand up.” She huffs a laugh. “Finally, one day, you walked over to him…he was holding onto the couch…and you took his hand and pulled him off of it, grinning from ear to ear as you helped him take his first official steps. I’d never seen anything like it in my life.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”

  She waves me off. “I didn’t want Shannon to know he took his first steps at our house. I want to let her go on thinking she saw her child’s first steps. It’s not easy being a single working mother.” She turns toward me, resting her shoulder against the back of the chair. “Sweetheart, why are you going to Belmont?”

  I shift in my seat, my face heating up. “You know it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

  “Are you sure?” she asks.

  The light goes out in the kitchen, and my dad walks through the living room. He hesitates as he catches sight of my mom and me sitting together by the pool. He frowns, gives a stern, single nod, and then heads toward the back hallway.

  “Sweetheart,” my mom says, “I know you want to be there for Nat, and the idea of the two of you separating is…troubling, but—”

  “I’m scared to leave home,” I say. “It’s not just Nat. Nat is…an excuse. I’m scared to leave you and Dad. I’m scared to leave this place where I dominate everything…where I’m the best. If I went to Curtis or Manhattan School of Music, I’d be a peon. I’d be lower than a peon. I know Belmont. It’s safe here, small.”

  There are the words I haven’t dared to confront in my brain, out there now. Why does saying something out loud make it legitimate?

  She scratches her nose, thinking. “I’ve got some news for you. If you’ve chosen Belmont because you think it’s going to be a cake walk, you are sadly mistaken.”

  “I don’t think it’s going to be a cake walk.”

  “But you think it’s the easy way out.”

  I frown. “No.”

  She covers her mouth with her hand, resting her elbow on the arm of the chair.

  I exhale a deep breath. “If I had any balls at all, I’d be headed to New York or L.A.,” I say.

  She doesn’t say anything, which says it all.

  I meet her gaze. “What would Dad think about that?”

  She shrugs. “Same thing he thinks about Belmont.”

  “You’d support me if I wanted to go to UCLA or NYU?”

  “Emotionally, a hundred percent.”

  “But financially?”

  She smiles. “That part’s up to you, babe.”

  I narrow my gaze at her. “I don’t understand you and Dad. You’re from completely different planets.”

  She wipes something off her pants. “You don’t know the half of it.”

  “So you’re okay for him paying for Whit’s school?”

  She shrugs. “You make compromises in marriage. It’s important to him that his kids go to Emory, and he wants to provide that. It’s important to me that they pay for their own school and do what they love. We decided to let you two decide. Good thing we have two kids. Turns out we’re both going to get our way.”

  I consider her. “Why don’t you play anymore? Does Dad keep you from doing that?”

  She huffs a laugh. “No, sweetie. It’s just not a part of my life now like it was.”

  “But you worked so hard for your music degree, and you don’t even use it.”

  “I did work hard, and I’m proud of that. But I work hard now in a different way. And your dad has never done anything but show me
love and appreciation for my work here at this house and with my charity work. He never complains about pizza for dinner or dishes in the sink for days if I’m on a big project. He’s got a kind heart. I could never have handed over my financial independence to him if I didn’t trust him implicitly never to take advantage of me, and he hasn’t…ever. He’s sweet and kind and appreciative like I never knew could exist in a man.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if you and I are talking about different guys.”

  She smiles. “I know he’s tough on you, Miles. He’s only that way because he loves and cares about you. I know that’s hard to understand.”

  I return her smile. “I know.” I let my smile fade as I think about Jenna again. “I screwed up with Jenna tonight. I had to pick between her and Nat, and I basically chose Nat.”

  She inhales deeply, nodding on her exhale. “What are you going to do to make that right?” Our silence sits between us for a moment, and then she squeezes my arm and stands. “Come in soon. You need your sleep. Big day tomorrow.” She kisses the top of my head and goes back inside.

  I flip my phone some more, thinking of Jenna. She could have thrown Nat under the bus tonight…told Barclay the whole story and probably still kept herself safe to perform. She’s good at talking her way out of stuff.

  But she protected him, because she knew it was important to me. That’s why I love her…that and so many other reasons. I need to tell her. I need to write it on a banner and hang it on the towers of the Batman building downtown. I need to scream it from the top of the Shelby Street Pedestrian Bridge. She’ll never hear the words coming from me right now. I’ve screwed up too badly. But I do know one way I can make her see.

  It’s a huge risk…but the potential payoff is worth it.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Jenna

  My dad and I sit in plastic chairs on our terrace watching the little ants scurry around on Twelfth Avenue below.

  He looks over at me. “Do you have any energy left for tonight?”

  I nod, resting my glass on the arm of the chair. “I’m just glad we got this place livable. It was getting depressing in there.”

  “Yep,” he says.

  I gaze at him, finally ready to poke the open wound. “Dad, if we’re going to move forward, I need to understand some things first.”