He tried to sit up, only to slump back. He was lying flat on a couch, it seemed, even though he had no recollection of being in such a position.
“Please, do not rush yourself,” came another voice. “You have been taken to my townhouse, Lord Altringham. After what happened this evening, we thought it best to take you here.”
“Lord Fairfax accompanied us and helped you both in and out of the carriage,” Miss Sussex said, letting go of his hand and helping him to sit up, her arm around his shoulders. Thomas let out a groan as his head began to thump with pain, his vision swirling all over again.
“Your head is paining you again,” Miss Sussex murmured. “Mayhap I should keep you lying down.” With an effort, Thomas managed to grunt his disapproval, wanting to sit up so that he could look all about him. It took all his energy to remain seated and open his eyes again, but he was determined not to lie back down again. Finally, after a few minutes, everything became clear.
Miss Sussex was looking at him with concern, whilst Lady Newfield sat a short distance away, her eyes thoughtful but her lips pulled tight. He did not recognize the room, for the furnishings were entirely different from his drawing room at home.
“Did you say,” he managed, his throat still dry and his voice rasping, “that I am in your home, Lady Newfield?”
She nodded, as though this was something that he ought to have expected.
“But why?”
“Because another attempt was made to either injure or kill you!” Miss Sussex exclaimed. “Lord Fairfax said that he did not know what had happened to you, for he only came across you quite by accident when he left the ballroom for a short walk out of doors.” Miss Sussex touched his hand again. “You have had a severe blow to the head, Lord Altringham. Had you not been found, you might now be lying in the gardens with your life slowly draining away.” Her voice grew quieter with each word that she spoke, her eyes wide with fright. Were Thomas honest, he would admit that her words had confused and frightened him, for he realized that what she said could very well have been the case.
He sucked in a breath, horrified as he recalled how a figure had stood over him, threatening and dark with malevolence.
“He said something,” he whispered, closing his eyes in an effort to recall. “I am sure he said something to me.”
“Can you remember what it was?” Lady Newfield said quickly as Thomas opened his eyes. “It might give us a hint as to who the perpetrator could be.”
Thomas sighed heavily, shaking his head and then instantly regretting that he had done so. The cool cloth that had laid on his forehead as he reclined had fallen to his lap and he lifted it again quickly, pressing it to his aching temple.
“It may come back to you,” Miss Sussex said kindly. “You need to rest, Lord Altringham. Do you think you can rise and walk to your room? I can have a footman assist you.”
He did not want to admit that he needed assistance but found himself with no other choice.
“I think that would be wise,” he said quietly. “Although I do not think that it is required for me to stay any longer than one night.”
Lady Newfield cleared her throat, shooting Miss Sussex a knowing look. “We shall discuss matters in the morning,” she said firmly. “Now, retire and rest, Lord Altringham. Things will be a good deal clearer tomorrow. Of that, I am quite certain.”
Chapter Nine
Julianna had thought her desire to tell Lord Altringham the truth to be a good thing, but now that she was faced with it, she felt rather afraid. She did not know how he would react, but given all that had occurred, both she and her grandmother had come to the conclusion that honesty was now required.
“If you continue to pace like that, you will wear yourself out, Julianna,” Lady Newfield chided her gently. “Please, do sit down.”
Julianna shook her head. “I cannot,” she said, twisting her fingers together as she looked back at her grandmother. “I am afraid that he will think me cruel and manipulative and now I…”
Lady Newfield sighed but held Julianna’s gaze steadily. “You are not a manipulative creature,” she assured her. “And if it should come to it, I shall make quite certain that Lord Altringham knows that it was I who came up with this idea.”
“No, Grandmama,” Julianna replied quickly. “I will not have that. After all, you were the one who encouraged me to find courage and strength, and that is what I have tried to do.” She lifted her chin, swallowing hard and doing her best to ignore her swirling stomach. “I agreed to this plan, I agreed to do as you thought best and I confess that I believe the scheme has been successful.” She gave her grandmother a tight smile. “I do not think that to push the blame onto you would be either wise or honest.”
Lady Newfield’s smile became warm. There was a pride in her voice as she spoke, which, in turn, filled Julianna with a sense of contentment.
“You have done very well, Julianna,” Lady Newfield said, getting to her feet and coming to embrace Julianna. “No matter what happens next, you should be pleased with the steps you have taken and the changes you have made.” She reached up and pressed her hand to Julianna’s face. “I am very proud of you, my dear girl.”
Julianna smiled back at her grandmother, feeling tears coming to her eyes. Had it not been for Lady Newfield, Julianna doubted that she would be where she was at present. Most likely, she would still be under her father’s rule, scared and afraid and still ignored by society. Either that or she would be living in Lord Altringham’s estate, alone and terrified.
“Good morning.”
Lady Newfield stood back from Julianna as the door opened and Lord Altringham walked in. He appeared rather awkward, Julianna noted as she dropped into a quick curtsy. He was looking all about the room, his hands held behind his back and his shoulders tense. Clearing his throat, he shuffled his feet.
“I think I should return to—”
“Do come and sit down and join us for breakfast,” Lady Newfield interrupted, gesturing to the dining room table. “We have not eaten either as yet.” She gave Julianna a quick glance and Julianna hurried toward the table, sitting down quickly. Lord Altringham finally came to sit down also, feeling, perhaps, as though he could do nothing other than obey Lady Newfield.
“Please, do help yourself,” Lady Newfield said encouragingly. “You must eat in order to keep up your strength.” She looked pointedly at Lord Altringham’s head. “Does your head still pain you?”
Julianna, who had not had a proper look at Lord Altringham’s temple, turned her attention to his head also and then caught her breath. There was a dark purple stain spreading out from the side of Lord Altringham’s head, looking angry and sore.
“It does not look particularly good, does it?” he said, a little wryly as Julianna’s eyes flared wide with the shock of what she had seen. “I will not pretend it does not pain me for I do not think that you would believe me even if I said such a thing!”
“Did you manage to rest at all?” Julianna asked, looking across at him just as Lady Newfield rose from the table to go and fill her plate. “I hope the pain did not keep you awake.”
Lord Altringham smiled thinly. “I had a little sleep,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “But I believe that it was not only my head that kept me awake but also the fact that I was considering who might have done such a thing and why they would do it.” He sighed, which told Julianna that his questions remained unanswered. “In addition, I was attempting to recall what had been whispered to me by the man who stood over me after his first attempt to bring me low.” Lord Altringham’s lips twisted and he shook his head. “Unfortunately, I was not successful.”
“You are exhausted,” Julianna replied gently. “I do not think you should berate yourself for what you cannot remember. It will return to you, I am sure.”
Lord Altringham held her gaze for a moment and then let out a long sigh. “I must hope that you are correct, Miss Sussex,” he said, the name he called her suddenly jarring. “I feel as thou
gh, if I were to recall those words, I might be able to determine who it was that has tried to injure me.”
“My lady?”
The butler stepped into the room, looking at Lady Newfield and inclining his head. “Forgive the interruption, but you have a visitor.”
Lady Newfield’s eyes widened in surprise. “This early in the morning?”
The butler cleared his throat, nodding. “Lady Tillsbury wishes to speak to you with the greatest urgency.”
Julianna half rose from the table as Lady Newfield caught her breath, before hurrying out toward the door. She herself hesitated, not quite certain whether or not she ought to go with Lady Newfield or remain with Lord Altringham.
“You need not fear remaining here with me,” Lord Altringham said with a rueful smile. “I will not attempt anything, Miss Sussex, I assure you.” He raked one hand through his hair, the brown locks rushing through his fingers. “Indeed, after last evening, I find that my resolution to behave in a very different manner than before is now, in fact, quite firm within me.”
Julianna did not understand. “What do you mean? That the injury to your head has—”
“I was invited out to the gardens last evening,” Lord Altringham interrupted with a tiny smile in Julianna’s direction. “I confess that I struggled to know what I ought to do, whether or not I ought to do as the lady asked.” Dropping his hands to his lap, he gave another long sigh, his eyes gleaming with what appeared to be regret. “My eagerness to go with her, to do as I usually did, won out over my resolve to change the way in which I behave. However,” he continued quickly, as though he wanted to ensure Julianna did not think too poorly of him, “once I was out in the gardens, I realized that I did not want to be where I was. I had to tell the lady in question this and she was, I confess, very angry with me.”
Julianna’s brows lifted in surprise. “You did not go with her, then?”
“I did not,” Lord Altringham answered softly, his eyes fixed to hers and filled with so much feeling that Julianna did not know where to look, wanting to tug her gaze away from him but, at the same time, finding herself quite unable to do so.
“Then I am glad,” she found herself saying, filled with such relief that he had not given in to his initial desire. “I am glad for you if you are happy with your choice.”
Lord Altringham smiled. “I did not think I would be, but yes, I am very contented indeed. I thought I would be filled with regret, but I confess, there is something within me now that is very proud indeed that I have managed to change.”
“I can understand such a feeling,” Julianna replied honestly. “Although I am sorry that, despite your choice and your wisdom, you were then so badly attacked.”
Reaching up to touch his temple with gentle fingers, Lord Altringham gave her a small, wry smile. “Indeed,” he answered with a shrug. “Although, Miss Sussex, I think that I should not remain here for any great length of time. One evening is more than enough.”
Her heart began to quicken as she looked into his face, feeling the questions begin to rise up within her, wondering if she ought to ask him why and feeling the urge to tell him the truth of her identity.
“You need not leave,” she said softly, putting her hands in her lap so that she could tighten her fingers together in an attempt to keep herself steady. “The reason we insisted that you were brought here is that you might be kept secure. We trust our staff.”
Something flickered across Lord Altringham’s face.
“It is not to say that your staff are not trustworthy,” Julianna said hastily, wondering if she had misspoken. “What I mean to say is that you would be there alone and vulnerable and if you were unconscious, then there is nothing to say that you could not have been attacked again.”
Lord Altringham rubbed his hand across his forehead, another long breath escaping him. “I suppose that is true,” he said heavily. “I have not yet questioned my staff as to the theft of my diamonds, and I am suspicious that one, if not more, were involved in the theft in some way.” Dropping his hand, he looked back at Julianna again. “The truth is, Miss Sussex, I am a little afraid for your reputation.”
A cold hand grasped her heart. What was it that Lord Altringham was intending?
“What I mean by that,” he continued quickly, as though he wanted to make certain she understood him, “is if the ton discover that I am here with you and Lady Newfield, that I am residing here, then there will be questions as regards our acquaintance, Miss Sussex.” His eyes were gentle. “And I do not want that.”
Julianna’s breath caught as she looked into his eyes, seeing something there that she had not seen before. He wanted to protect her, to keep her safe from his rather dire reputation.
“Miss Sussex,” Lord Altringham said, his voice barely louder than a whisper and filled with something she could not quite understand. “I cannot have your reputation stained by my own. It would not be fair.”
Without meaning to, Julianna reached out across the table and placed her hand over his. Lord Altringham started violently at her touch, surprising her by the force of his reaction, but she did not pull her hand away. Instead, she kept it there, feeling the urge to keep the connection and finding her heart quickening all the more as he looked into her eyes.
“Miss Sussex,” Lord Altringham said, swallowing hard. “You must know that there is a connection between us. Surely you must feel it, in the same way that I have begun to.” Lifting his other hand, he set it over hers. “I have found it very strange, if I am to be truthful, for I have never had these emotions for any other lady of my acquaintance before.” He closed his eyes, his jaw working hard for a few moments. “And I do not know what to do with such feelings.”
Julianna did not know what to say, tingles running up her arm from where his hand touched hers. Her breathing was quickening, her heart thumping so loudly she was certain he could hear it. When he lifted his head and looked into her eyes, she could barely breathe.
“But I have come to realize,” he continued, his voice a little stronger now, “that I can do nothing, Miss Sussex.”
Her own voice was hoarse. “What do you mean?”
“I—I mean that there is nothing between us that can be continued,” he said tersely, as if he were battling within himself. “I am sorry, Miss Sussex, but there is something about me that I have not yet told you. Something, in fact, that I have tried my utmost to forget, to the point that I almost managed to entirely throw it from my mind.”
She knew what he was going to say then, knew why he was pulling away from her—and her heart filled with joy. Had he been the very same gentleman she’d known from the first, then he would have thought nothing of trying to continue on with their acquaintance, even if he was already married to another. But now that he had begun to change, he clearly could not do as he wished any longer. Julianna felt a small smile pulling at her mouth, in direct contrast to the haunted expression that Lord Altringham bore.
“I am wed, Miss Sussex.”
The words were wonderful to her ears, her fingers tightening on his.
“I know, this must be something of a shock to you, Miss Sussex,” he continued, his eyes now on the table rather than on her face, “but I am wed. It took place only a short time ago and I confess that I have treated my wife with nothing more than disdain and cruelty.” His eyes slowly lifted to hers and Julianna pushed the smile from her lips, wanting him to finish saying all that he wished before she herself said anything in return. Lord Altringham took in another long breath, his eyes squeezing shut for just a moment as though he were attempting to find the strength to keep speaking with such clarity.
“I do not think that she has anything to do with all that has occurred, however,” he continued, his voice steadier now. “She is at my estate, waiting for my return.” His lip curled. “I have been the worst sort of husband, thinking only of myself and forcing my wishes upon her.” Looking back into her face, Julianna noted the color rising in his face and realized that he truly
did feel a sense of shame. That also added to her relief and happiness, feeling as though her husband was, in fact, truly becoming a changed character.
“What is your wife’s name?” she asked, as though she did not know anything about her and was seeking to discover more. “What does she look like? Is she a beauty?”
Lord Altringham did not immediately answer but instead, pulled his hands from hers and rubbed them both down over his face. Julianna slowly pulled her hand back, suddenly aware that she would have to tell him the truth about her own identity very soon and feeling a sheen of sweat break out on her brow.
“The truth is, Miss Sussex, I know nothing about her save her name.” He shook his head. “She is not a beauty, from what I know, but if I am honest, I will tell you that I have no knowledge of what she looks like for I made quite certain to give her not even a modicum of my attention during our wedding.” His hand curled into a fist and suddenly, out of nowhere, he thumped it down on the table, his brows furrowing and his mouth pulled tight. “I was cruel, Miss Sussex. I blamed her in some way, even though it was my own actions that brought us together. And then I returned to London in the hope that I would be able to continue on with my life just as it was before, whilst fully intending to forget her.”
Julianna gave him a small smile. “I see. And you have decided that you should return to her?”
“Not as yet,” Lord Altringham said firmly. “I cannot leave immediately without making certain that all of this has come to an end. I will not take danger back to my estate. She has already put up with a good deal from me and I will not add to her burden.”
“And you will not continue with our acquaintance either,” she added, surprised at the wretchedness that flung itself into his expression as he looked back at her. “That is the truth now, is it not?”
Lord Altringham hesitated, then nodded slowly. “That is the truth, Miss Sussex,” he said, his voice low and quiet. “It is not the sort of thing that a gentleman such as I usually does, but you have brought out something within me that wants desperately to change.” Shoving one hand through his hair again, he let out a ragged breath. “If I were not discovering a new part of me, Miss Sussex, I would not have given my wife a second thought. And yet, because of you, I find that I can do nothing other than that.”
In Search of Love: Convenient Arrangements (Book 2) Page 10
