Less Invisible

by Emma Rose

  "Yes, Will, I trust you. Just don't get your hopes up too high that I'm gonna make you rich," I answered.

  Skylar laughed. "Don't worry, that's why he has me."

  Will shook his head and grinned. "No, Skylar. I have you because you are so in love with me."

  Skylar laughed even more this time. "Yeah, yeah. I guess so."

  Will looked down at the watch on his wrist. "Oh, damn. It's late. You better stay the night, Jemma. We have a guest room and bathroom you can use. Skylar will let you borrow some of her clothes. We can talk more about this tomorrow."

  "Oh, I don't need to stay. Thank you for the delicious dinner, but I should be on my way," I protested.

  "Nonsense, we insist," Will declared firmly.

  "C'mon, Jemma, I'll show you the way," Skylar said, grabbing me by the hand while leaving her fiancé to clean up the kitchen.

  I followed the pretty woman down the hallway to the last room. "This is the guest room, the bathroom's attached," she said opening the door, "Towels and washcloths are in the closet along with some extra shampoo and body wash you can use. I'll go grab you some clothes while you get settled in."

  I nodded to express my thanks before she quickly left the room.

  The room was amazing. I couldn't believe I was going to spend the night in there and I wasn't going to have to share it with anyone either.

  It was a fairly large room. The floor was hardwood, and the walls were painted a brilliant white. Golden crown moulding wrapped around the floor and where the ceiling meets the wall. To the right side, there was a set of double french windows covered by a set of silky blue curtains. To the left side, was a small antique desk, and a large chest of drawers. In the center of the room was a high, king-sized bed, covered in pure white sheets and pillows. The large headboard was tufted and plated with a gold frame. A fluffy, ornately designed blue and white comforter covered the bed.

  The en suite bathroom was almost as big as the bedroom itself. My eyes were immediately drawn to the large jacuzzi tub and the double vanity sink, but the crystal chandelier and walk-in shower were just as stunning.

  Knock. Knock.

  My wandering was interrupted by Skylar delivering me a large set of neatly pressed and folded clothes. More than I had owned at one time in my entire life.

  "Here you, go, love. Let me know if you need anything else," Skylar said handing me the stack.

  "Thank you very much. I'm sure I'll be fine. You've been very kind."

  "Of course, Jemma. I hope you sleep well. Have a good night," she waved.

  "Goodnight," I smiled as she left and closed the door leaving me alone in the luxurious room.

  I set the pile of rich girl clothes down on the desk and took a pair of soft, silky, pink pajama pants with a matching button-down pajama shirt to the bathroom. I also brought with me a brand-new pair of seamless black panties and a black sports bra.

  I locked the bathroom door and began to undress. It felt so good to get my dirty clothes off. I threw them in a pile on the floor.

  By accident, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. I thought my sweaty, dirty body and greasy hair looked so out of place in that swanky bathroom.

  I walked over to the closet and grabbed a bottle of peach body wash along with two little matching bottles of shampoo and conditioner which looked to be from France. After setting them on the shower rack, I twisted the shower handle to the left letting out a waterfall of warm water. I stepped in. First with only half my body and then my whole body.

  I turned my head up to look at the ceiling and let the water fall on my face and then flow down my small body. It felt wonderfully relaxing. I let my mind go blank and enjoyed a few minutes of much-deserved peace.

  Then, I washed my medium-length hair giving myself a scalp massage to get weeks’ worth of dirt out. I followed up with the conditioner gently using it to get all of the knots out. Finally, I put a generous amount of peach body wash on a soft white washcloth, rubbed it together to make suds, and scrubbed my whole body with it. I loved the smell; it was like walking into an orchard.

  I turned the water off and wrapped myself in a fluffy oversized towel. It felt soft and made me feel warm and cozy. Sitting down on the edge of the tub, I slowly combed through my hair amazed at how smooth and clean it felt.

  Then, I went to the sink and put some toothpaste on a spare toothbrush. I liked how the bristles weren't bent or crushed yet unlike the old toothbrush I had. I wet the toothbrush under the faucet and proceeded to brush my teeth for a solid three minutes until I felt nothing left in there and all I tasted was the fresh, minty flavor of the toothpaste. After spitting, I rinsed my mouth with cool, clean tap water.

  Lastly, I slipped on the undies, bra, and pajamas. They fit well. Skylar and I were almost the same size except she was a few inches taller.

  I stared at myself in the full-body mirror hanging on the back of the door. I could barely recognize myself in the expensive set of pajamas I was wearing and with every part of me being so clean. I touched the mirror as if I was going to reach out and feel another person standing there instead of glass.

  I turned the bathroom lights out and entered the bedroom. I still couldn't believe I was going to be sleeping in there.

  I hopped on the bed and snuggled my lower body under the covers before reaching over to the nightstand to turn the lamp off. Then, I pulled all the blankets over my shoulders and rested my head on one of the gently on the pillow letting my body turn to deadweight and sink into the mattress.

  I closed my eyes and thought about the million crazy things that happened to me that day. I wondered if it was truly real or if it was all a dream. "No, it has to be real. I never have dreams as good as this," I told myself.

  I thought about how it already seemed a lifetime ago that I was sitting on the sidewalk singing in the rain. I had no idea what the next day would bring, but I felt grateful to be in a warm bed with a roof over my head. I didn't completely trust Will and Skylar yet, but their kindness made my heart feel light.

  That night I slept better than I ever had since childhood.

  CHAPTER EIGHT: OLIVER

  "Oliver... Oliver..." I heard a girl's voice whisper.

  I felt soft, small hands rub my upper arm.

  I opened my eyes and there before me lay a beautiful girl. I mean super sexy, hot. The kind of girl that would make even the best of men forget they were married.

  The only problem was I had no idea what her name was and I didn't know or couldn't remember anything about her.

  I flashed a charming sleepy smile before looking around the room for clues about where the fuck I might be. "Apparently, this girl really likes Five Seconds of Summer," I thought, noticing quite a few posters of the band.

  Suddenly, I remembered yesterday was my best friend, Landon's big Fourth of July party. He lived in a big house in the suburbs with a swimming pool and a two-car garage. His parents were out of town cruising to the Caribbean or something like that. So, I knew the party was going to be lit.

  Landon was grateful for my contribution: two bottles of vodka and crack for at least thirty people. I, also, saw my old bud, Caleb passing out some pills in the corner. That said, I'm sure the party was crazy although I don't remember much of it.

  As long as the police didn't come, I called it a successful night.

  I glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was already noon. My dad was probably freaking out at home wondering where I was.

  "Oh, damn it's late," I said sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "Hate to rush this, but I really have to go."

  I didn't hate rushing it at all actually. Do you know how awkward it is to wake-up naked next to someone you don't recognize?

  I used one of the sheets to cover myself as I grabbed my clothes from the floor. Carefully, I pulled on my boxers before letting the sheet down and sliding on a black t-shirt and jeans. They reeked of a terrible combination of alcohol and weed.

  The girl was sitting up in the bed covering
herself in the pink comforter and smiling at me. "So, what did you think of last night," she winked.

  I looked over at her with a blank stare. "I don't remember it," I said simply as if reporting the weather.

  "Oh," she replied with disappointment in her voice.

  "Listen," I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket to see eight text messages and three phone calls from my dad, "I'm sure you're great and all, but this isn't going to be a thing, okay?"

  "You're a dick," she frowned, shaking her head.

  "Probably," I shrugged, aggravating her frustration. "I'll buy you Five Seconds of Summer tickets if it makes up for it, but first you have to tell me where the fuck I am and how to get out back to Manhattan."

  The girl rolled her eyes, "You seriously think I need you to buy tickets for me. No thank you and why don't you walk out the damn door and figure out how to get home by yourself."

  "Have it your way," I waved, giving her the peace sign before

  walking out the bedroom door.

  I wasn't sure what was going to be on the other side of the door, but I was relieved to find out that I was still in Landon's giant house.

  Then, it hit me. I hooked up with a stranger in Landon's little sister's bed. Classy, Oliver, real classy. "Hopefully that fourteen-year-old never finds out," I thought.

  I made my way down the stairs, feeling a little sick from my hangover. My head was pounding and all I wanted to do was crawl back into my bed at home with a bag of potato chips.

  The house was a giant disaster. It looked like a tornado had hit. Red plastic cups lay scattered across the floor, furniture was flipped upside down, pieces of food and crumbs were everywhere, and the carpet was soggy with alcohol.

  The man of the house himself was knocked out on the kitchen floor.

  "Good thing his parents won't be home for another three days," I thought. I tried to imagine how pissed I would be if someone trashed my imaginary future house like we had.

  I stepped outside onto the sunny pool patio and took a deep breath in of the warm, refreshing air. It was hot and humid, but I didn't mind. The rays felt good on my tan, summer skin.

  I sat down on the side of the pool, kicked my vans off and dipped my feet in the clear, blue water.

  The sadness that comes after every big party like this was beginning to set in and I was left with the dread of facing the question, 'what do I do now'?

  Bravely, I pulled out my phone and dialled my father's number. Of course, he picked up right away.

  "Oliver, where are you?" he asked immediately. I sensed slight frustration in his voice, but he wasn't truly angry. He was genuinely concerned.

  "Hey, Dad. I'm at Landon's still. The party went on late, so he let me

  spend the night. Sorry, I didn't call we were so busy... playing video games," I lied.

  Dad audibly sighed on the other end. I could picture him rubbing his forehead tiredly. The poor old man probably didn't sleep well last night not knowing where I was.

  "Alright, Oliver. Just please call or text me next time. How many times have we talked about this? I worry about you."

  "Okay, okay, Dad, I will," I promised. "I'll be home in an hour or so, alright. I'll take the bus."

  "Fine, just try to be home soon."

  "Will, do. Bye, Dad."

  "Bye, son."

  I slid my phone back into my pocket and slouched down resting my forearms on my knees looking down into the cool, clean water. My heart felt heavy. I hated lying to my dad, but sometimes I felt like I had no choice.

  Lying to my dad wasn't the only thing I did that aroused my self-loathing.

  I hated how I used girls for a night's worth of pleasure and then discarded them like a bag of trash.

  I hated how I had to cheat my way through high school to get my diploma.

  I hated how I made bank off of people- rich people, poor people, 'good' people, ‘bad’ people- so many people through the years by selling them things that were sneakily going to destroy their bodies and lives.

  I hated how jealous I was of my brother, Will.

  I hated how I used drugs to become popular and I hated how I sold them to stay popular, yet I had hardly any real friends.

  I hated how I couldn't control my thoughts. Every time, I was sad or angry, I thought about my dear, sweet mother. I cursed God for taking the kindest person in the world away so soon.

  She didn't deserve it.

  Dad didn't deserve it.

  Will didn't deserve it and my four-year-old self definitely didn't

  deserve it.

  Every time I was lonely, I thought about my old friend Jemma. She was just like my mum, kind, loving, and sweet. I wanted to see her again so badly. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to be.

  I felt my throat start to choke up and I knew that I would need to get up and do something before the tears came.

  I walked back into the house and rummaged through the kitchen until I found some garbage bags. Slowly, I started to wander around the house and pick up the litter that covered the floor. It was a disgusting job, but it had to be done. Sure, I wasn't obliged to help Landon, but it felt like the right thing to do. Plus, doing good by others eased my guilty conscience.

  When I entered the living room, I walked over to Landon who was lying prostrate on the white carpet. I nudged his side gently with my foot.

  "Landon, come on," I said.

  He began to stir, then pushed himself up to a sitting position with a groan.

  "I feel like shit," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

  I laughed, "You look like it too."

  Landon ran his hand through his dirty messed-up hair then gave me the middle finger.

  "Fuck you, buddy. I've been here cleaning up your parents' house while you've been passed out on the floor," I said in good humor.

  "Come on," I laughed. "Let's get you a cup of coffee.

  By the time Landon had dragged himself into the kitchen, I already had two steaming cups of black coffee ready. I took the liberty of using their deluxe Keurig machine.

  Landon plopped himself down at the breakfast bar and took a long sip from his Mets mug. I noticed the massive bags under his glazed-over eyes. Must have been a long night.

  "I think you still got people upstairs," I mentioned casually.

  Landon shrugged, "They'll leave eventually. If not I'll kick them out."

  "You remember anything from last night?"

  "Not a thing. What about you?"

  "Nothing after doing shots with that super short chic," I frowned. "I woke up in your sister's bedroom and I didn't recognize the girl laying next to me."

  Landon shot me a sarcastic look of disapproval. "You're awful, you know that, right?"

  I smirked. "Probably but look who's talking."

  Landon just sighed. He was too tired to continue any banter. For a while, we just sat quietly and drank our coffee waiting for the bad from last night to disappear.

  Suddenly, Landon looked up from the table and asked me a question that I'll never forget, "Landon, do you ever get tired of it all?"

  I didn't know what to say. At first, I was going to act all cool, like everything in my life was perfect as I usually did, but for some reason, I didn't.

  "What do you mean, exactly?" I asked even though I knew exactly what he meant.

  "Like of the partying, the drugs, the sleeping around. I don't know if I'm just feeling weird or if this isn't what I want for myself anymore."

  I nodded in understanding.

  "I know damn well what you mean, but it's too late for me now. This is who I am."

  Landon shook his head. "No, it's not, Oliver. This is not who you are. It's who you've been for a long time, but it's not who you are."

  My stomach dropped as I heard those words. They were such true words, but the thing about truth is that it hurts. In that moment, the truth was agonizing.

  I sighed heavily. "Landon, I'm telling you this because you're a good friend. I'm fucking tired of all this shit
. I don't like what I'm doing and I really don't like myself anymore. I just can't get myself to stop."

  "I get it man, but I'm going to at least try. I have nothing to lose if I do and everything to lose if I don't."

  "Damn, he's right," I thought.

  "Starting with cleaning up this war zone," Landon added placing his dirty mug in the sink.

  CHAPTER NINE: JEMMA

  I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes in disbelief of where I was again. Yesterday, I woke up under a bridge in a sleeping bag. Today, I woke up on a king-sized bed in pink, satin pajamas. How is that even possible?