Deicide

by M. K. Gibson

  “Heh, the drinks I can help with,” the bartender said, retrieving the bottles. “The rest is a lost cause, I’m afraid. No offense.”

  “None taken,” Jessie sighed, accepting and paying for the drinks.

  “You weren’t that bad,” said a guy to her left.

  “Thanks. I—” Jessie started to say, then paused. The man was tall and lean, with long hair and stubble. “Ted? Ted Wilkins?”

  “Sup?” the man said with an easy smile.

  Jessie gave the guy a sideways look. “What are you doing here?”

  Ted pointed with the end of his beer towards the stage. “Cassy called and asked if I wanted to have drinks and sing a little.”

  “But . . . you’re a person of interest,” Jessie said.

  “Cassy said it was cool. Isn’t she like, I dunno, your boss?”

  “No,” Jessie said. “No, she most assuredly is not.”

  “Whatever,” Ted said with a shrug. “She’s single, right?”

  Jessie ignored the question.

  “Man, she can really sing, can’t she?”

  “Apparently she’s good at everything,” Jessie said as she walked away. Taking the beer she’d bought for Cross, Jessie gulped it down in a few swallows, then set the bottle down on a random table before returning to Arby and Gabby.

  “Here,” she said, passing out the beers.

  “Thanks,” Arby said, giving the beer an odd look. He shook his head when Gabby began chugging hers. “Did you see Cass sing?”

  Jessie sighed. “Yes, I saw her. She was wonderful. Not much of a punishment if she’s a great singer.”

  “I have a method to my madness. To all things, a lesson is learned.”

  “D-did you eat the fortune cookie after you read that?” Jessie asked, then took another large sip from her next beer. She wiped her mouth with her wrist, then reached over and patted Arby’s belly. “Of course you did.”

  “Watch it, New Girl,” Arby said, slapping her hand away. “I was just beginning to like you.”

  “Oh who cares,” she said, then took another long pull of her drink. “No one likes me. And you know what, that’s fine, s’fine,” she said, slurring her words a little.

  “I think you’ve had enough.”

  “Why?” Jessie asked, then took the bottle from Arby’s hand and started drinking his. “No one likes me sober because I’m a climber? Why the fuck should I care what people think of me when I’m tipsy? Just like Cross, wherever the f-fuck she is.”

  Jessie drank some more, then started laughing. “I push myself, y-you know? I want to be great, what’s wrong with that? Some people are okay with being average, I get that. But I d-don’t. They think I’m a bitch. Everyone does. Cross, you, Messer, even Gabby I bet. And . . . maybe I am. But I tell you what, I’m an honest bitch. T-that’s why I narced on Temple and Flanagan to internal affairs.”

  “You did what?” Arby asked.

  “Explains why Freeman tried to kill me,” Jessie said.

  Arby eyed her. “Have you eaten today?”

  “Pizza?” Jessie said.

  “Damn girl, that was what, over ten hours ago? You need water, food, and sleep. You may be young, but you’re a tiny thing. Those beers will knock you on your ass if you’re not careful.”

  “There j-just IPA’s.”

  “Yeah, Infernal Pain Ale,” Arby said, turning the empty bottle around to show the label’s logo of a drunk devil with a stein atop a hill of skulls.

  “Those things were brewed in the Agartha undercity near the hell mouth. This is beer that’s been infused with Diablo Tequila and Old Hob Whisky. Each one has enough alcohol to kill a fraternity. How many have you had?”

  “T-two? No,” she said, looking at the now-empty beer in her hand. “Three?”

  “Oh . . . crap. Three? On an empty stomach? Oh honey, you’re gonna puke.”

  “Y-yeah . . . I think you’re right,” Jessie said, feeling her face begin to flush. Her lips felt numb. Her mouth felt moist with excess saliva and her stomach began to flutter.

  “I—I gotta go.” Jessie stood up, bumping the table and looking around in panic.

  “That way, that way!” Arby pointed towards the back of the bar at the magically glowing signs for the bathroom.

  Hand over her mouth, Jessie stumbled past a table of goblins and dwarves who cursed at her in a guttural language. With her gorge rising, Jessie bumped into the cigarette machine and staggered down the small hallway.

  She put her hand on the door to the women’s room and pushed the door, which did not budge.

  “Wait your turn!” a muffled female voice said from the other side of the door.

  Damn it! She thought, then turned towards the men’s room. She pushed her way in. The guys at the urinals gave her odd looks and a few cheers. Going to the single stall, she pulled the door open.

  And there before her was Cross having incredibly lewd public sex. She was bent over with her pants down and her hands up, bracing herself on the stall’s wall. Ted was behind her with his shirt open and his pants down.

  “Hey there New Girl,” Cross said in a breathy voice between the rhythmic slaps of flesh on flesh. “Either join in or get out.”

  Jessie couldn’t hold back any longer. “I’m sorry,” she said with a slight shake of her head.

  “Wha—?” was all Cross had time to say.

  Jessie’s stomach clenched and her jaw opened wide, spraying vomit all over Cross and Ted.

  Behind her stood Gabby with her phone, recording everything. The elf had a genuine smile on her blue face.

  Chapter Sixteen

  14 May - 7:45 am

  Boreas Bungalows, Building #9, Apt. 202, District of Windport

  “My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings! Look upon my works ye mighty and despair!”

  Jessie’s eyes snapped open. She suddenly sat up and immediately regretted it as the world spun. Pain pierced her temples like ice picks. She grabbed her head and fell back into the bed, pressing the heels of her palms against her temples.

  “My head.”

  “Nothing besides remains. Round that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,” Arby whispered the rest of the poem into her ear. “Morning, kid.”

  “I . . . hate you,” she said as she buried herself under the blankets.

  “Coffee’s brewed.”

  “I greatly dislike you,” Jessie amended, her voice muffled by her comforter.

  “Thought so,” Arby chuckled. “Okay, enough gagging the lolly. Get your butt up and get a cup. I’ve also set out a tall glass of water, a stim pack, and enough pain pills to choke a donkey. And I should know. Don’t ask me how I know, but I will say that when you’re in Mexico—”

  “Arby,” Jessie pleaded. “Please . . . shut up, and let me die.”

  “What kind of teammate would I be if I let that happen?”

  “What are you doing in my apartment anyway?”

  “You don’t remember much, do you?” Arby asked.

  “A—a little. I drank and I sang. I—” Jessie said, then groaned. “Oh . . . shit. Did—did I . . .”

  “Heh, yeah.” Arby laughed as he hopped in bed with her. The sudden impact of the giant man landing in the bed made her stomach lurch and her head spin.

  “Just kill me.”

  “Not my call,” Arby said. “But Cass wants to talk to you.”

  “When?”

  “As soon as you get out of bed,” he said, absently playing with one of her throw pillows.

  “Oh . . . crap. She’s here?”

  “Yup,” Arby said, looking at her pillow. “Why do people have these? They don’t do anything.”

  “They’re decorative,” Jessie said, rolling to her side and planting her feet on the floor.

  “What a waste.”

  “What’s the function of your multi-colored hair?”

  “Plumage, girl, plumage.”

  Jessie looked at her bare legs and oversized t-shirt and raised an eyebrow. She had no memory of dress
ing. “Who . . . did you get me into bed?”

  “Nope,” Arby said. “I just got here.”

  “Then who—” Jessie started to say, but her brain caught up. “Cross looked after me?”

  “All night,” Arby said. “Y’all need to have a talk.”

  “Why does it feel like I’m walking to my own funeral?”

  Arby stretched out on her bed. Due to his size, his feet hung off the end. Rolling to his side, he planted his elbow and propped his head up with his hand. “Remember,” Arby said with a smile, “You can’t spell funeral without F-U-N.”

  Jessie hung her head, put on a robe, and walked down the hall to her kitchen. Cross sat there with a cup of coffee in her hand. She was wearing one of Jessie’s shirts and a pair of her athletic leggings. Her blue hair was tucked up under an APD academy ball cap. Even dressed down, the woman was still hot.

  “Look, I’m so sorry for what happened,” Jessie said. “I—”

  “Shut up,” Cross said. “Get some coffee and sit down.”

  Even with her splitting headache, Jessie stood her ground. “This is my apartment. Don’t give me orders.”

  “Fine,” Cross said. “Pretty please, shut the fuck up, get some coffee, and sit down.”

  Jessie sighed. She was too hung over to argue. Grabbing her favorite mug, she poured herself a cup and took a seat at the table across from the woman. Jessie saw the water, pain pills, and stim pack that Arby had set out. She popped a few pills, downed them with the water, cracked the stim, and breathed in the frosted air and fresh grass smoke.

  A few moments later, the pain in her head receded and she felt almost human again. Taking a sip of her coffee, Jessie looked at the broken wood of the stim pack and laughed slightly.

  “What?” Cross asked.

  “Nothing,” Jessie said, looking the stim over. “Just that, the last time I had one of these, another woman was planning on killing me. Not a friend, but a partner at least.”

  “Something tells me you don’t have a lot of friends.”

  “No,” Jessie said, setting the empty stim back down.

  “Me neither,” Cross said.

  “I’m sorry for . . . puking on you.”

  “I’m over it,” Cross said. “And I’m not here to kill you.”

  “Arby says you stayed here last night?”

  “Someone had to.”

  “Thanks,” Jessie said. “Sorry you didn’t get back to your own home.”

  “You’re welcome. And I actually live here as well. A few buildings over.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but that’s not important.” Cross said. “I do want to ask you about something you said to Arby.”

  “What?”

  Cross sipped at her coffee, considering her words. “Did you really narc on fellow officers?”

  Jessie rubbed at her face. She was tired of this question. Every assignment. Every precinct. Every time she was alone with fellow cops, this question came up. And she was also getting tired of giving the canned statement that internal affairs and the brass had provided her.

  “Yes,” Jessie said. “And I’d do it again.”

  “Was advancement so important?”

  “Oh fuck you,” Jessie said, setting her coffee down. “I’m getting sick of you, and everyone else, who asks me that. I didn’t snitch on them for advancement. I told IA because Temple and Flanagan were bribing a local witch to raise more undead so they would get overtime.”

  “That happens a lot,” Cross said, unfazed.

  “Yeah, I know how ‘the system’ works,” Jessie said, using air quotes. She took another sip of her coffee. “But this time people got hurt.”

  “Who?” Cross asked.

  “Some kids, a couple of cops,” Jessie said as she stared into her cup. “This pack of zombies had broken into a school one night. It should have been empty, but some dumb teenagers were there screwing around. I had only been on the UTF a short while. The kids barely survived, and one of my teammates, Cooper, was hurt. Hurt bad. I went to confront Temple and Flanagan over the op, and that’s when I overheard them talking about how they had to cover it all up. They told me to shut my mouth if I knew what was good for me and that they’d take care of it.”

  “But you didn’t?”

  “No,” Jessie said with a shake of her head. “I joined the APD because I—well, that doesn’t matter. Point is, I didn’t join to get rich or hurt people.”

  “You brought civilians on a pursuit yesterday,” Cross countered. “They could have been hurt.”

  Jessie shook her head. “They had a choice. I told that woman what we were doing. She chose to come along. The kids at that school? They didn’t choose. Cooper chose to be an APD officer and to do his duty. But he didn’t choose to be subjected to injury from corrupt brethren. Long story short, I ratted them out because I don’t know how many other people would be hurt because those two fuck-nuts wanted extra whoring money.”

  “You’re still an ambitious climber,” Cross said.

  “Damn right I am,” Jessie said back. “I bust my ass every day. I don’t have any relationships. I don’t have any kids. Hell, I don’t even own a pet. I’ve given everything to the job. And because I was honest, I’ve been branded a traitor. So excuse me if I’m not thrilled at being interrogated in my own home.”

  “Is that what this is? An interrogation?” Cross asked.

  “Oh get off your high horse,” Jessie said. “I said I was sorry for puking on you and your bathroom booty call. But if you’re coming into my home to give me shit, then sister, there’s the door.”

  Cross leaned back in her chair. “I needed to know.”

  “Know what?” Jessie asked.

  “Why Messer would pick you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Just what I said,” Cross said. “Arby and I are both veterans with distinguished records. You? You’re a kid.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Not at all,” Cross said, tapping her data tablet. “But I’ve read your file and I’ve seen you in action. You’re good. But not that good. I couldn’t figure out what Messer saw in you. But I get it now.”“And?” Jessie asked, growing impatient.

  “You’re a disgustingly honest cop. For Arby and me, working undercover for years, lying is like breathing to us. But for you . . . you always tell the truth, regardless of how it affects people.”

  “That’s a bad thing?”

  “Depends on the situation,” Cross said. Then the woman did something unexpected. She reached her hand out across the table. “It’s nice to meet you, DeLeon.”“My name is Jessie.”

  “We’re not there yet.”

  Jessie eyed her hand for several long seconds, unsure.

  “Come on kid, be smart,” Arby offered. “This is better than ‘New Girl’, isn’t it?”

  Well, she couldn’t argue with that. Her last name was a step up. Jessie reached out and took Cross’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

  “Aww, look at that!” Arby said, coming out of the bedroom. “Shaking hands and passing the Bechdel Test and everything. I could just cry, it’s so beautiful.”

  “Are . . . are you wearing my eyeliner?” Jessie asked.

  “Stay on topic, New Girl!” Arby barked. The big man then went and got himself a cup of coffee. As he did, Cross inclined her chin at Arby. “Cooper, Arby, and I went to the academy together. He never said why he left the force.”

  “I’m glad we know now,” Arby added.

  “What’s this mean for you and me?” Jessie asked, releasing the handshake.

  “You’re still an asshole,” Cross said. “But I can work with assholes—”

  “Ha, you said you can work an asshole,” Arby said as he took a seat.

  Cross shook her head. “See what I mean. But yeah, I can work with even the most annoying creature ever cursed upon the land,” she said, staring at Arby, “as long as they’re honest.”

  “And I can work with bossy amazons who for
some reason like to get freaky in bathrooms.”

  “You should try it,” Cross said. “Really eases the tension after a hard day. That is, until some off-key rookie who can’t hold her infernal drink sprays you down like a drunk prom date. You owe me for my dry cleaning.”

  Jessie nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

  “How’s your head, DeLeon?” Messer asked as he and Gabby suddenly appeared through a magical hole in space.

  “Ahh shit! My heart!” Arby said, clutching at his chest and falling over backwards onto the floor. “Stop doing that!”

  Jessie and Cross both looked at Arby on the floor, shrugged, then turned towards Messer.

  “Still hurts like the devil, Sergeant,” Jessie said as she rubbed at her temples.

  “I bet. Heard you put down three IPA’s.”

  “Well, they went down,” Jessie said, wincing. “And came back up.”

  “Yeah, I saw,” Messer said, looking at Cross. “Gabby was nice enough to show me the video. Normally I’d admonish one of my agents for engaging in lewd activities with a person of interest. But I think you’ve been punished enough.”

  “Thank you, Sergeant,” Cross said.

  “Gabby?” Messer said. “DeLeon’s useless like this.”

  The elf nodded, then stepped towards the women at the table. Looming over them, she smiled and opened her hand. A single tiny acorn fell onto the table in front of her.

  “Thank you?” Jessie said.

  Gabby smiled wide and gave two thumbs up.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?”

  Using her hands in Fey Sign, Gabby told Jessie what to do.

  “Eat it?” she asked. “A tree won’t grow out of me, will it?”

  Gabby shrugged.

  “Great.” Jessie popped the acorn into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. A second later, her head cleared and all traces of her hangover were gone.

  “Damn. What was that?”

  Messer looked at her as if he were waiting for something. Then he shook his head. “A one-time gift. Don’t get used to it.”

  “So what’s the plan, Sergeant?” Arby asked, getting to his feet and sitting back down at the table. “Did you take the artifact and the vial in for testing?”