Best I've Ever Had

by Abbi Glines

  “Normally I’d say to hell with it but she’s right under the circumstances,” Nate added but he was still grinning in amusement and possibly there was some respect in his eyes. For what? The ink on my body? It wasn’t something to respect. It was reminders of what I would never forget.

  “I mean no one has seen you in over a year. There was no warning. I hadn’t thought that goodbye hug you gave me before we left on our honeymoon was a literal goodbye.” There was hurt in Bliss’s tone. Once that would have made me feel guilty. As if I should apologize. If I could find that reaction, then there would be a possibility of hope I’d kept a piece of me through it all. After six months, I already knew it was an impossibility. Even for my childhood best friend. No emotion came.

  “Can I get a shower and borrow a bed for the night?” I asked instead of reassuring her I’d tell my parents. I didn’t reassure anymore. Reassurance was a waste of breath. Something we did because we thought it was a necessity.

  She frowned and then nodded. “Of course. Come on inside.” She stepped back, and Nate wrapped an arm around her waist loosely. It seemed like some sort of comfort thing. If I had upset her, I knew he would reassure her. I walked by them and into the house. Vaulted tongue and groove ceilings, wide open space, money. Wealth. Taken for granted. Not because they were selfish but because they’d known nothing else. I’d been just like them once.

  “Are you hungry? Or thirsty?” Bliss asked from behind me. I finished scanning all they’d done before turning to look at them.

  “A beer would be good,” I replied. “Place looks great, but then it was nice before.”

  “It’s taken almost a year, but it’s exactly what we wanted. Dealing with contractors was a bitch. But other than that, it’s not been bad.”

  “Heineken or we have some from the new microbrewery in town,” Bliss said from the fridge.

  “The local stuff isn’t bad,” Nate added.

  “I’ll try the local then,” I replied. I didn’t give a shit what it was, but the response would cause Bliss to look too closely. Ask things I wouldn’t answer.

  “Are you hungry? I could heat up the leftovers from dinner. Blackened shrimp pasta,” she added.

  I was too tired for food. “No thanks. I’m good.”

  Bliss didn’t look convinced but walked back over to me with an open bottle of beer. I took it and noticed her staring at my right arm that was covered in tattoos. I could tell she was trying to figure out what they were. Why they were there.

  “When did you decide to get addicted to ink?” Nate asked as he sank down on the large white leather sectional sofa closest to where we were standing. I shrugged and took a long pull from the beer.

  After I swallowed and walked over to an extra wide blue chair across from the sofa, dropped my duffle bag to the floor beside it then sat down before replying, “Wasn’t a decision. Just happened.”

  “How exactly does”—Bliss waved a hand at me as she sat down beside her husband—“that just happen?”

  It didn’t just fucking happen. There was a reason, but those reasons were mine. She seemed annoyed. Because I wasn’t the guy she once knew? Or because she disapproved of the new me? I didn’t care. Pleasing Bliss no longer mattered to me. I wanted her happy and she was. That was clear. Wasn’t my job to please her now just as it hadn’t been then. I had wanted it to be once. Knowing deep down it never would be. It all seemed shallow to think I’d once weighed my happiness on her.

  “It just happens,” I replied with no intention of saying more.

  She then waggled her finger in the direction of my hair. “I’ve never seen it so long,” she was going to keep on until she was satisfied with an answer.

  I just nodded. She was right. I’d never let it grow out like this before.

  “Up the stairs and the first door on the left is a guest bedroom. It has its own bathroom. You’ll see the towels when you walk in to our right. Make yourself at home,” Nate said before Bliss could ask me more questions I wasn’t going to answer.

  “Thanks,” I told him and stood back up. “I appreciate y’all letting me crash here tonight.”

  “You’re always welcome here,” Nate told me, and I watched as his hand rested on Bliss’s knee. He was silently telling her to let me go. Nate was more perceptive than I’d given him credit for.

  “If you want to go run in the morning, use the French doors. They won’t ding throughout the house when opened.”

  I hadn’t gone for a run in six months.

  “I don’t run anymore. Goodnight,” I said. I didn’t wait on a response from Bliss. I took my duffle bag and headed for the staircase to the far right of the large open area.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket but ignored it. There was no one I wanted to talk to tonight. That would all have to wait until tomorrow. I knew without looking it was family. I’d gotten through all the questions I could handle for the moment.

  MAY 24 / 6:45 PM

  Ophelia Finlay

  MY PLAN TO leave at three hadn’t gone accordingly. I’d gotten my things packed, cleaned up the flat, taken out all the trash, then when I finally got into my car, the change engine oil light came on. I was never good about remembering to get my oil changed. Glancing up at the sticker in the far left corner of my window I realized I was three thousand miles overdue. Dang it!

  There had been a wait at the Lube Express and it had taken them almost an hour to get my car serviced. By that time, I was starving and went to grab a chicken wrap to take with me, but again there were people. So many people. It was the time of year that Fridays got busy in Rosemary Beach. Vacationers arriving for their week at the beach. Nothing was fast or easy for the next three months.

  After getting some food and heading toward Sea Breeze, it was almost five and I called to let Bliss know I was running late yet again and would just be arriving in time for the party or whatever it was. I didn’t think party was a good description. Not under the circumstances. The mention of Eli Hardy had reminded me of Bliss and Nate’s wedding. We had drunk some whiskey from his flask together and talked briefly.

  Eli wasn’t my type, but he’d been drunk, so he had been more laid back. It had made me see a side of him I did like. But I doubted that side ever came out when he was sober. Eli was way too uptight. I liked more adventure. Not the bad boys but the ones with an edge. Eli was just too good. When he’d left the wedding on Cruz Kerrington’s bike, I’d been impressed, but that was honestly the last time I’d thought about him until Bliss had mentioned him earlier this week. Now I wondered what had come of him after the wedding. I did know Cruz no longer had the bike. Lila Kate had mentioned her relief that he’d sold it a few weeks after the wedding, but she had been surprised Eli had been who bought it.

  My thoughts went from Eli to my sister, and then I worried over Phoenix’s bad choices. Dad had texted me her phone number like he promised. I had called her three times this week and all she ever did was text me a response. The last had been “Not your business!!!” so I had backed off and let her be. I couldn’t force Phoenix to talk to me. However, my thoughts stayed on her the rest of the drive. By the time I pulled in front of Nate and Bliss’s house, it was full of cars outside. Lights spilled from every window and I took a moment to take in the beautiful place my brother now called home. He’d start a family here. One day I’d visit and there would be kids calling me Aunt Ophelia. Bliss couldn’t get pregnant, but they already talked about adopting in the future. My chest felt warm at the thought of all that would one day come for them.

  Then just as quickly, I felt the melancholy follow because I didn’t think I’d ever know their happiness. I’d dated enough men to realize what they had was rare. Every time I thought maybe I’d found someone, it turned bad. He wasn’t what he’d led me to believe. He changed. Maybe it was me that made them change. It had happened so many times now I was willing to take some blame for it. Obviously, I was the common denominator.

  Deep down I feared my appearance attracted them,
but once they truly knew me, they were turned away. I was facing the fact I must be flawed. There was something about my personality that men thought they could take me for granted, treat me poorly, and then become disinterested.

  I wasn’t a Bliss, and I wasn’t a Lila Kate. Both of those two had the beauty along with the sweet goodness. They were beautiful souls. Men were drawn to them. Loved them. Adored them. Women like them were the ones who got the happily ever after.

  I thought some days I was fine doing life on my own. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else. Just do what I wanted and make my own decisions. It sounded like a solid plan. One that would make me happy and content. That only lasted for awhile though.

  When you’ve been raised by two people who love each other as fiercely as my parents do, who fight then make up, who laugh together, work through all obstacles together, it’s hard not to want that. It was all we saw as kids and even now they still complete each other. Living in a home like that was the one thing making me wish for more. They were the reason I said yes to a date when I knew deep down it would end the same as all the others.

  Everyone said I was so much like my mother. But I knew it was in looks only. I looked like a young Blaire Finlay and that was where it ended. My mother was everything I ever wanted to be, but I knew I never would be. Her beauty was deep, her love was strong, her will was more than I could comprehend. She’d battled so much early in life and came out on top. I had decided that was the difference. I’d had no battles.

  My family life had been storybook perfect. I had wanted for nothing. I’d been given all the love, security, and support a child could be given. Nate was a man, so maybe that’s how it affected him differently. He learned to be the man our father was by living the life we’d had. But Phoenix was as messed up as I was. Her flaws were different. But we both struggled in our own ways. I wouldn’t trade my family and the life they’d given me for the world, but I feared it had kept me from having any real grit. There was nothing about me of real worth.

  The door to the house opened and I saw my brother who looked as much like our father as I did our mother, step out onto the front step. It was a good distance from where I had parked but even from here, I knew his gaze was locked on me. He’d been waiting for me. That made me smile. Always the big brother.

  I grabbed my Louis Vuitton duffle bag. It was all I had packed for such a short visit and climbed out of my Audi to go meet him before he walked all the way out here. He waited where he was when he saw me headed for the house finally. I wondered if he had seen me drive up and had been waiting on me to come inside. I wasn’t sure how long I had sat there lost in my thoughts. Unfortunately, they were thoughts I got lost in a lot lately.

  It had been over a year since my last relationship. For awhile, I was good with being single, but I realized I was lonely. Phoenix and I hadn’t been close in years and especially now that she’d run off. Lila Kate was married and living her life as Mrs. Cruz Kerrington now. I didn’t really have any female friends. I’d never liked other females. I tried growing up, but I always ended up with the boys. Girls were too dramatic. They were so competitive. I just couldn’t take the constant fighting that seemed to break out all the time.

  “I was about to come looking for you,” Nate said as I reached the top stair. He held out his arms and I stepped into them to return the hug. “Missed you, sis,” he said.

  All my other worries and concerns melted. I was here at his house where he had found his happy. And that made everything right in the world. “I missed you too,” I told him.

  He took my duffle bag as he stepped back. “I’ll take this to your room. Bliss took a hell of a long time up there making sure it was ready for you. I think she even put some fucking fresh flowers by the bed. Say something about them, will you.”

  I smiled at that. He reminded me so much of Dad. I nodded. “I’m not a complete bitch, you know. I would have thanked her without you telling me.”

  He smirked. “No, you’re not a bitch. Our baby sister gets that title hands down.”

  We had always made jokes about Phoenix and her redheaded personality. It was all in fun, but I wondered if he knew about her current stupid move. I decided I’d talk to him about it later. Not now. He had a house full of people. Those who had become his friends and family once he fell in love with and married Bliss.

  I’d always thought our parents’ circle of friends and their families was abnormally large, but Bliss and her circle was even bigger. They were also much closer. It was overwhelming when they were all together. I’d experienced it at their engagement party, Bliss’s birthday party, and the wedding. Now I was back for more.

  I started to walk inside when Nate said, “Just a head’s up. There’s a bit of tension in there. They are all acting like it’s not, but you’ll notice. Don’t ask about Eli.”

  I paused. “Eli’s not here?” That seemed very unlike Eli. He was responsible and being at a gathering at his best friend’s house with his family the night before his grandmother’s surgery seemed like a big deal.

  Nate sighed, but the scowl on his face was clear. He was pissed and trying to hide it. What the heck was going on?

  “He came here last night. First time anyone had seen him since the wedding. He left early to go to his grandparents’ house. His dad had called and said they were all having breakfast there as a family. Apparently, he left there after breakfast and no one has seen him since.”

  “Eli?” I asked again still having a hard time associating Eli with the description I was getting.

  Nate nodded. “He’s changed. In a lot of ways. Even Bliss doesn’t understand him.”

  The front door opened again, and Micah Falco stepped outside. He looked from Nate with an annoyed glance as if the party inside was too much for him then turned to me with a tight smile. “Hey,” he said then held up a cigar. “Beer isn’t enough for this bullshit. I need this or I’m breaking into the motherfucking whiskey.”

  Nate nodded. “Understood. Just make sure you smoke it far enough away from the house that Bliss can’t smell it inside.”

  “I will.” He held out his hand toward me. “You’re Ophelia, correct?”

  I shook his hand. “Yes, and you’re Micah, Larissa’s husband.”

  He grinned then. “Yeah. I knew we’d met before but it’s always at celebration events and I’ve had one too many.”

  I’d seen him drunk more than I’d seen him sober. I smiled politely and gave a nod.

  “If that motherfucker don’t get his ass here soon, Larissa may wish I’d had one too many. I’m ready to beat his sorry tattooed ass.” He walked off then down the stairs and toward the beach. Nate didn’t seem confused by that last sentence, but I was. Who else was he expecting to show up? I thought Eli not being here was the issue. But he’d said something about tattoos.

  Eli Hardy did not have tattoos. The idea of Eli with tattoos made me smile. It was that out of character for him. Someone else must be missing. Maybe Eli had brought a friend?

  Nate motioned for me to go inside and I was about to ask about the other missing guest when Bliss appeared at the door looking as perfectly polished as always. Her smile softened when she saw me and again, I was being embraced. I returned her hug.

  “Sorry I’m so late,” I said, thinking it was probably better that I was since there was family drama I was not a part of going on.

  “Be glad you are,” she whispered then stepped back. “Nate has your bag. Good. He can take it to your room, and I’ll get you something to drink. You need it tonight. Trust me.”

  I followed her toward the kitchen and as much as I wanted to take in the place now they had redone it I didn’t want anyone to think I was staring at them. The place was covered with folks. Bliss stepped up to the marble bar and glanced back at me. “Champagne, wine, or stronger?”

  I took one quick peek at the room and then replied “stronger.”

  MAY 24 / 8:36 PM

  Eli Hardy

  WALKING INSIDE MEA
NT facing bullshit from everyone. Not showing up at all meant bullshit from everyone. Fuck this.

  I climbed off my bike and ran a hand through my hair. I hadn’t planned on being late. But I didn’t plan much. I’d had to get away from it all after this morning. The fear that was clear on everyone’s face despite their smiles and false cheer had just reminded me of the reality. Facts I knew by looking at them that Dad hadn’t told me. It was bad. They already knew how bad but they weren’t saying.

  The only one who hadn’t been shocked or horrified by my tattoos, long hair, and absence was my gran. She’d laughed and clapped her hands in delight when she saw me. Told me her beautiful boy was even more decorated now. When anyone mentioned my being gone, she would jump in with a comment about me being brave enough to live, or finding a life out there. That shut them up real damn fast. I’d found life, alright and I knew now that it was cold, harsh and unforgiving.

  I said very little. Listening to Gran talk, memorizing her face when she smiled, soaking in the sound of her laughter. Things that could be taken and never returned were what I would lock away. Keep close. I wasn’t naïve enough to think I’d have Gran forever. Even if she survived this, time would still pass, age would still come. We weren’t given infinite time on earth.

  Drinking all day at a bar just past the Florida/Alabama line was probably not the best way to spend the rest of my day. But fuck if I cared about what was the best way. It was the way I handled it all. I didn’t move toward the house. Instead I scanned the cars parked outside. Might as well know who was still here.

  Gran wasn’t. I knew that without looking. She’d be in bed by now. Tomorrow morning would come too soon.

  My parents were here and so were my sisters Crimson and Cleo. Cage and Eva York were and at least two of their three sons. Preston and Amanda Drake were here, and I wasn’t sure what their sons drove, but they were always with the York boys. Good chance they would be inside too. Dewayne and Siena Falco. My aunt Larissa would be here with her husband, Micah Falco. Looked like a few of the Taylors were here too. I didn’t see Saffron or Holland Corbin’s vehicles and thank fuck for that.