Best I've Ever Had

by Abbi Glines

  Bliss’s enthusiasm with my decision had helped keep me on track and not running to a closet to sit alone and weep. She thought this was what Eli needed and she also believed he loved me. I was holding onto that tightly. I wasn’t so sure he loved me, but I knew I loved him enough I could wait for him to feel the same way. If he gave us more time, I thought surely he would see how perfect we fit. I just couldn’t imagine that the love I had for this man wasn’t reciprocated at all. How could I feel so deeply and he feels nothing?

  I knew there was bad, painful, things from his last relationship. I’d heard enough that night when I’d walked outside to check on things. My heart broke thinking about the son he had lost. I wanted to hold him and tell him I was so sorry and I loved him. If I could take all that pain away, I would. Thinking of all this reminded me why I was here and about the man I had to convince to come back to me.

  Never again would I call a woman desperate when she fought for a man who wasn’t fighting for her. All my badass belief that if a man didn’t want me, then I would walk away and not look back was horse crap when you were truly in love.

  I reached for the door and jerked it open then went inside before my nerves could fade again. A live band was on stage and the lights were dim in the crowd, but that helped me feel less on display. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I just wanted to find Eli. Bliss had to do a little more than nudge my brother to go make sure Eli was here tonight. I had no idea how Nate managed to get him here, but we’d gotten the text an hour ago letting us know he’d be here and that we both owed him big.

  Looking in the direction of where Eli and his bunch normally sat, I found my brother immediately because he was watching me. Swinging my gaze from him, I instantly found Eli. He wasn’t watching the stage. He was sitting there listening to Micah talk, but he didn’t seem interested. I took a deep breath and headed in their direction. I had rehearsed this a million times in my head and there was a very good chance Eli would turn me down, walk away, leave. My stomach started knotting up thinking about it. If he did leave would I chase after him? Was I that crazy and pathetic?

  Just before I reached him, his head turned quickly as if someone had alerted him to my approach and his eyes widened as his gaze found me. His eyes slowly took me in and I had never felt so self-conscious in my life. All my earlier confidence seemed to have left me here on my own.

  “Hello, Eli.” My voice was shaky from my nerves and I hoped the noise in the place masked some of it. “Dance with me,” I then blurted out, forgoing all the well thought out flirty things I had been going to say next.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment then he stood up and I thought this was it. He was about to bolt. My panic began to set in, but before I could grab him and plead, he took my hand in his and led me away from the table but not toward the dance floor either. We were headed to the exit and I felt tears sting my eyes. He wasn’t leaving, he was making me leave. What did I do now? Did I just go? Did I beg him to listen to me? Did I tell him I loved him enough for both of us? Oh God, I hadn’t thought this through. Not this ending. I wasn’t ready for it.

  He reached for the door and opened it then led us outside. I was ready to fall apart and cry hysterically. I felt it bubbling to the surface. He wasn’t even willing to let me try and persuade him. He was walking me away from everyone . . . toward the road?

  I glanced up at him and took an unsteady breath trying to figure out what we were doing. But he kept walking, looking straight forward and after checking both ways, we crossed the street and then he led us to the wooden bridge that walked over the sand dunes directly to the gulf.

  Before we reached the sand, Eli muttered a curse word then moved so quickly I didn’t have time to prepare before he had me pressed against him and his mouth covering mine. I needed oxygen, but I craved this more. It gave me hope and my heart felt lighter than it had since he’d rode away without a word. I held onto him and kissed him back with all the love inside me, all the pain from missing him and all the determination to make him stay with me. To love me.

  He broke the kiss and took a step back.

  I let out a cry from my need to inhale and my panic he was leaving me. Once I had oxygen in my lungs again and could speak, I forgot all the things I had planned to say. Instead, I just let words fly. “I love you. I love you enough for both of us. I will love you even if you can’t love me. We make each other happy. That’s got to be love, right? You have to feel something. Maybe not what you think you need to feel, but I can wait. I can be patient. I just . . . I want you, Eli. I want to be with you. Please don’t leave. Let me show you I can make us work. I’ll make you happy.” I stopped then and fought back the tears threatening to burst free and make me even more hysterical.

  Eli tilted his head to the side as he studied me. I didn’t speak in case he was deciding if this option was possible. Maybe something I had said made him think he could love me one day.

  “Do you honestly believe I don’t love you?”

  I understood his words, but the question didn’t make much sense. Not coming from him.

  “Have I even fucked that up? This”—he waved his hand slowly up and down as he gestured to my body—“this is to get my attention because you think you need to beg me to want you?” He ran a hand over his face roughly. “Jesus Christ, Ophelia. I don’t deserve this and I sure as hell don’t deserve you.” He sounded angry.

  “I love you,” I repeated. “I will do anything to be with you. To show you how much.”

  He groaned then and he reached out and pulled me to him. “Please, baby, I need you to stop. You’re killing me with every word that comes out of your mouth. I don’t fucking deserve you and I thought I was a good man, but I’m not that good. Because a better man would let you go. He’d know you deserve so much more. I was trying to be a better man.” He stopped then pressed a kiss to the top of my head then inhaled deeply. “You own me. Every motherfucking corner of my soul is consumed with you. To tell you I love you isn’t enough. It’s never been enough. But make no mistake, I do love you.”

  This was real. Not some dream that kept me up at night taunting me with what I wanted most. I held onto him tightly, pressing my face into his chest. His arms flexed as he kept his hold on me. The waves crashed behind us, the sea breeze wrapped us in its warmth. And we stood there knowing this was it. We had both found it. The road hadn’t been easy, and the future wouldn’t always be smooth. But we had found each other.

  “Can you forgive me for not loving you the way you deserved? I swear I’ll spend the rest of our lives making sure you never go a day not knowing how much you mean to me.”

  I tilted my head back then and stared up into his eyes. They were shiny with unshed tears and I saw the good man inside that would always be Eli Hardy. “There is nothing to forgive, but I won’t fight you on wanting to show me just how much you love me.”

  A grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. I licked my lips thinking of how I could kiss that mouth anytime I wanted. “I missed you,” I told him.

  He sighed and closed his eyes for a second then gazed down at me. “I can swear to you that I missed you more. Being away from you was hell. The only way I got through the day was telling myself I was doing it for you.”

  “Eli Hardy, I love you, but you are a fool.”

  He laughed. Loudly. It was real, it was free of darkness, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

  ABBI GLINES IS a #1 New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of the Rosemary Beach, Sea Breeze, Vincent Boys, Existence, and The Field Party Series. She never cooks unless baking during the Christmas holiday counts. She believes in ghosts and has a habit of asking people if their house is haunted before she goes in it. She drinks afternoon tea because she wants to be British but alas she was born in Alabama. When asked how many books she has written she has to stop and count on her fingers. When she’s not locked away writing, she is reading, shopping (major shoe and purse addiction), sneaking
off to the movies alone, and listening to the drama in her teenagers lives while making mental notes on the good stuff to use later. Don’t judge.

  You can connect with Abbi online in several different ways. She uses social media to procrastinate.

  Contact Abbi

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  www.abbiglines.com

  As She Fades

  ROSEMARY BEACH SERIES

  Fallen Too Far

  Never Too Far

  Forever Too Far

  Rush Too Far

  Twisted Perfection

  Simple Perfection

  Take A Chance

  One More Chance

  You We’re Mine

  Kiro’s Emily

  When I’m Gone

  When You’re Back

  The Best Goodbye

  Up In Flames

  SEA BREEZE SERIES

  Breathe

  Because of Low

  While It Lasts

  Just For Now

  Sometimes It Lasts

  Misbehaving

  Bad For You

  Hold On Tight

  Until The End

  SEA BREEZE MEETS ROSEMARY BEACH

  Like A Memory

  Because of Lila

  Best I’ve Ever Had

  THE FIELD PARTY SERIES

  Until Friday Night

  Under the Lights

  After the Game

  Losing the Field

  Making a Play ~ Coming August 2019

  ONCE SHE DREAMED

  Once She Dreamed (Part 1)

  Once She Dreamed (Part 2)

  THE VINCENT BOYS SERIES

  The Vincent Boys

  The Vincent Brothers

  THE MASON DIXON SERIES

  Boys South of the Mason Dixon

  Brothers South of the Mason Dixon

  THE SWEET SERIES

  Sweet Little Thing

  Sweet Little Lies

  Sweet Little Memories

  Sweet Little Bitch

  EXISTENCE TRILOGY

  Existence (Book 1)

  Predestined (Book 2)

  Leif (Book 2.5)

  Ceaseless (Book 3)

  WRITING A BOOK takes so much more than just the author.

  There is the editor who has to work around the author’s creative issues that can range from anything to last minute changes, missing deadlines, and grammar stupidity. Ellie at www.mybrotherseditor.net saved my ass on this one. She worked fast, never complained, and helped me get it ready in time. I love you, Ellie!!!

  The formatter is key. Making sure your book is ready to look its best, read easily on ebook or print, and look professional. Christine Borgford is the best. I never want to use anyone else! Thank you so much, Christine, for always working with my short notice requests!!

  Special thank you to Danielle Lagasse, Vicci Kaighan, and Jerilyn Martinez. Together they lead Abbi’s Army out of the goodness of their hearts. I love them, I love Abbi’s Army and all my readers. Without their support, I wouldn’t be here.

  My family needs a mention because they are the ones who must step in and do the laundry, watch Emerson, find something to eat for dinner and remind me a hundred times that we need toilet paper, milk, laundry detergent, etc.

  I love y’all. I have the best kids and parents on the planet.

  Britt because even when you weren’t here . . . you were. I love you.