World of Ashes

by J. K. Robinson

  It took some time for Ethan to find an answer. It wasn’t because he didn’t have one, it was more that he had too many. All the what-ifs of his plan to sojourn after his family one day, what he’d do if he found them, what he would do if they were dead… What if Nicole walked back into his life now? How gut wrenching would that be? “Mary and I already talked about this… And it wouldn’t change anything. It’s been more than a year, and lots and lots of shit none of us ever planned has happened.” There was another long silence, Ethan contemplating his next words. “I like to think she’d be open minded enough to understand how things have played out. I hope we’d be friends. Maybe she’s found someone too, ya know? I’d say I was the low point of the men she’s dated, so whoever he is he’s at least treating her right.”

  “You don’t think she’d wreck things? Make it awkward?”

  “How could it not be awkward?” Ethan almost laughed. “I bought the woman a two thousand dollar ring on minimum wage. We were going to have eternity together. Now I’m happy when my wife and kid aren’t zombies at the end of the day… It’s just a different world now. She’d understand. She’d have to.”

  12

  When Angels Have to Die

  We Cry

  The Texans evacuated the power plant a couple of days after the last of the coal was used. Kenly was forced to make another unpopular decision and declare all diesel fuel in the truck stop reserved for Hospital use only. This meant 1st Cav was now forced to spend more of their time scavenging other truck stops and fuel depots for diesel. The Sheriff’s Department had to pull 12 on 12 off guard shifts since the soldiers were all on missions and couldn’t man all the guard posts. Getting to an emergency in a timely fashion had more to do with coordinating outposts than getting someone on scene from the police station, ambulance or fire sheds.

  “Hey, babe.” Ethan stepped into the living room just as Mary was handing a handyman a screwdriver. The man was installing the wood stove in a house that had never had one upstairs. The stove wasn’t big enough to heat the whole house from downstairs like the electric furnace had been, and there was no way they could build a fireplace before winter. The temperatures had already dropped to an average of forty degrees and it wasn’t quite November yet.

  “Hey, hun.” Mary stood and kissed him. Samuel was in a cradle nearby playing with something that made an annoying, repetitive noise. Ethan had a problem with high pitched frequencies, something the Army had never been able to explain, and the toy was already driving him insane. Ethan’s parents must have had a similar problem with distracting noises, because he nor Lee had any idea toys could make sounds until they were in their early teens. Then “batteries not included” was well understood.

  “I have to go on a mission with Lee. We’re heading toward Jefferson City to look for new fuel reserves. Can you handle the department until I get back?” Ethan wrapped his hands around Mary’s waist, pleasantly surprised that she was almost back to her original shape. How lucky was he!?

  “I can. You taking Allen with you?”

  “No, I think he’s had enough for a while. He just wants to sit in the patrol car and do nothing. I don’t blame him, not after that airport…”

  “The one… the one with the girl?” Mary knew, Ethan had no secrets from her, except his entire past and whoever his favorite porn star had been, but those are typical “guy” secrets that women don’t need to know anyhow.

  Mary had read the reports Lee and Ethan had written about the mission, and it was hard to believe they were related. If she weren’t married to one she’d swear they were just strangers of the same name because no two siblings she’d ever met saw the world in such drastically different, yet startlingly similar ways. Twins might have the twin thing, but some siblings were just as creepy.

  Lee’s report was typed, but had taken more than a two days for him to write and had the detailed clarity mixed with a total lack of emotional enthusiasm of a typical police report. That wasn’t surprising because Lee had started his Army career the same as Ethan, as an MP. Mary knew from conversation Lee had not inherited their grandmother and mother’s artistic talents, but was more logical and grounded than his brother and accepted responsibility without coping mechanisms much easier. Ethan’s report was much more florid, if Mary were to assign a word to it. He had a way of mixing fact with opinion, a hint of sarcasm and a few words that were not normally acceptable for court records, that all took some deciphering. He also had a problem with the word obvious, and used to many, commas, that made Mary think, he didn’t bothered editeding stuff,s.

  “Yeah, Tupelo Airfield.” Ethan grabbed his backpack and headed for the door, trying desperately not to think about that place, or that girl. He had a pretty clear idea of what was torturing Allen. Had Ethan not lived something almost as horrendous once before he may not have been able to empathize so easily. “I’ll be back in about a couple of days.” The dog came out from whatever corner he’d been vacuuming the dust bunnies up from with his nose, and ran full speed into Ethan, a cloud of gray following him. Ethan reached down and petted the beagle for a minute before kissing his wife and son goodbye and heading for the truck stop.

  Lee and Keith were already there, standing next to a bench with their hands in their pockets while some of the NCOs were inspecting the gear of the FNG’s. For at least a dozen men this would be their first mission outside the wire. Boot Camp at FOB Alamo had prepared them for dealing with a lot of different scenarios, both on an individual survival basis should they be separated from the group, and in how to deal with the Living in this new world as much as the Undead. Putting down zombies was already second nature to most people, but Lee took heart “Let no Soldier’s soul cry out: ‘If only I had been properly trained!” Already rumors of wild children and rabid former house pets and escaped zoo animals were making their rounds amongst the population. The only problem was there was a degree of legitimacy to the claims. Packs of dogs, some as small as Chihuahuas and others as large as an Alaskan Wolf had already killed one man in St. James. He was scavenging wine with a group and got separated, his friends found what was left of him and slaughtered the pack mostly out of revenge, but also to prevent any more deaths. The Cavalrymen detailed to protect the civilians found more bodies, most were children, probably because they were easier prey. The dogs had gone completely wild and claimed the town for themselves. The presence of the people didn’t seem to be a deterrent to these animals, but their numbers were rapidly dwindling the more Cavalrymen Lee cycled through the area on missions.

  Ethan was going to wait to talk to his brother when the formation dismissed, but stopped when his eye caught something unusual. There was one man, he couldn’t have been under sixty, with a short trimmed gray beard covering his face. He wore a ponytail of salt and peppered hair tied behind his head and was helping a kid Allen’s age adjust his assault pack. It was actually a blue and black hiking bag that had been spray painted in camouflage patterns, but it would do.

  “You guys need any help?”

  “No thank you, Sheriff. I do believe I have this young man covered. I was a Master Sergeant back in Gulf War One.” The bearded man said, his voice calm and soothing, his speech slow and practiced almost to the point of being slightly annoying with a hint of pretentious. “I appreciate the thought though.”

  “Okay.” Ethan responded, not giving it a second thought. It did amuse him that the old man had called it Gulf War One, and not Desert Storm. He might be as crazy as Ethan, but if he was in Lee’s Cavalry unit his story had to have checked out.

  Lee looked up from picking something off of his boots and waved to his brother. “Sorry to ask you to come along, I know Texas isn’t that distant of a memory. Refugees have reported Hostiles in the areas we’ll be passing through. I thought maybe having law enforcement with us might help you identify them later if they came here. You got the camera I asked you to bring?”

  “Ya, mien furor.”

  Lee rolled his eyes and headed for the truck.
His intent was for Ethan to take biometrics of anyone they captured so that they could be posted at the checkpoints later. Ethan got that but he still thought badgering his brother would be funny, it was the least he could do after being dragged away from his smoking hot wife and endlessly entertaining infant son.

  “How’s Paula? I haven’t seen her much since the wedding.” Ethan faced Keith, who was practicing very hard at never ironing his uniform again. Not that Ethan would say anything, but his years of anal-retentive attention to detail wouldn’t let his eyes wander from Keith’s wrinkled collar. It was all he could do not to grab an iron and attack his friend with it. It might burn something awful, but at least he’d get the wrinkles out. No amount of polish was going to fix Keith’s boots. Kiwi was just a fruit to that man.

  “I think she might be pregnant again.” Keith changed the subject, noticing Ethan’s eyes were twitching at his appearance. This would not be the first time Ethan or Lee had said something about Keith’s unwillingness to ever iron clothes again.

  “Seriously? There’s an unlimited supply of condoms out there and you knocked her up again?” Ethan finally broke his death stare and started chuckling.

  “She’s allergic to latex, dude. I’m pretty sure we’ve already used this region’s supply of non-latex condoms.”

  “Wow. That sucks.”

  “I know. If I find out she is I’m done with missions for a while. I’ve been training another guy who had Combat Life Savers Courses to be my replacement. Maybe I can get a fuckin’ day off, ya know?”

  “Lee running you that rampant?”

  “I’m the only Army Doctor; and I use the term loosely. I’m certainly better than a Civil War butcher, but it’s not a bad analogy.” Keith licked his lips and pulled his beanie cap down further over his ears.

  “Still can’t get any of the other doctors to go to Boot Camp?”

  “Doctor Luby is there right now, but he won’t graduate until January.”

  “Fuck.”

  “I know.”

  Lee hand signaled for everyone to mount up. They did, and unlike an actual military convoy that seems to sit around for three hours before someone sitting in an air conditioned tactical operations center gives the green light, they took off immediately. The trip to Union didn’t take long, the Citizens of Sullivan had most of the derelict cars cleared and waved to the convoy as it passed. The gang in St. Clair, where the turn to Union was, had been driven to the far side of town, their dwindling numbers making them more of a threat to themselves than to anyone else. Overtures to bring them into the fold hadn’t gone completely unheeded. It wasn’t until after they passed through Uniontown heading down US 50 that anyone felt the need to be more alert. Abandoned checkpoints where highwaymen had robbed and murdered people littered the hairpin turns and valleys. The skeletal remains of people who’d died execution style were a grizzly reminder of the darkest chapter in American history, when those of us left turned on the others and nobody pledged allegiance to the flag. They’d officially left friendly territory, their small enclave of America a distant memory.

  Most zombies weren’t very active, barely making the effort to look at the convoy, let alone attack it. Survivors had had one harsh winter to figure out the survival game, and it was considered likely that more living people would be out this time of year euthanizing the infected so they could live in relative peace for a time when the thaw came. If they could clear a few square miles most other Zims would be too rotten to invade it later, a gamble Kenly was counting on more and more every day.

  Ethan had his headphones on, listening to Evanescence as he always did, the only sound that could calm him anymore was the ethereal melodies and powerful riffs that could only come from his Snow White Queen. Lee thought about waking his brother from his semiconscious dreams, but why ruin it for him? Lee wouldn’t want to be torn from his dreams either, or be interrupted during a Johnny Cash marathon. Lee knew why Ethan chose the songs he was listening to so carefully, a secret he felt no compulsion to share. They had memories tied to them, thoughts and experiences that helped Ethan remember their parents and his beloved just a little bit more.

  They hadn’t yet encountered any hostiles, or anyone who even wanted to talk so his presence hadn’t even been required. No serious roadblocks stopped them, no un-negotiable traffic snarls either. Most cars were covered in soot, mildew and Virginia Creeper, proving they’d not moved since the day their owners had abandoned them. The tires were all flat, the grills had weeds growing through them or birds nesting in the wider spaces. Some still had unweathered zombies trapped inside. The poor souls pawed at the windows, their corpses in better shape from being entombed.

  If they could avoid shooting the Zims Cavalry did. The trucks were already noisy enough, and gunshots could attract living hostiles. It had only been a year and a half since the fall of society. Feral children would bum-rush people after hearing gunshots, taking food and knives and often smashing or throwing the guns away. At least one had attacked simply because he knew the sound of gunshots brought more zombies. He wore what people described as an ill-fitting snow suit with SkyLander creatures on the legs and a hunting camo coat large enough for Reynolds to wear. He was on the Sheriff Department’s list of Wanted Individuals, but that was out of concern for the boy as much as it was the people outside. Tragically, the last person to encounter him had been forced to put him down to defend their young daughter. Lee knew the girl had gone silent since that trauma. So much tragedy, so far from over.

  The convoy neared Jefferson City proper just after noon. They crept through one of the many highway cuts in the sandstone hills of the Ozarks, beneath a slanted bridge with rusted looking traffic lights on the underside and into a large intersection. It revealed a cityscape that looked more like the skeletal remains of Berlin after World War II than a vibrant American City and the Capitol of the State of Missouri. Tatters of flesh and clothing were scattered down every street as zombies rotted to the point where they could no longer stand, skeletons in rags like a movie set about a nuclear apocalypse. Lee got on the radio and made sure the order to avoid stationary Zims went out. No need to risk lives this late in the game. After the engines were turned off and everyone had dismounted the vehicles they stood silently and waited for almost an hour while snipers took positions on buildings, killing any zombie inside with a blade. In a world without cars or other machines you could hear much farther than before. The details of the birds’ songs, the echoes in the wind, nothing betrayed movement, not even barking dogs.

  After a time no one could report hearing the telltale sign of people. Fire, gunshots, music, speech, vehicles. There were no plumes of smoke on the horizon either, which meant there were no fires, and without fires in this colder weather the living weren’t as likely to be around. People needed heat, and large fires also provide distraction and cover, which many survivors wouldn’t be without. Lee pointed to several spots on the map, including the capitol building and sent one platoon to each spot. The company was redirected and parked near the Missouri Highway Patrol headquarters. Lee wanted to keep the gear and trucks out of the center of the city in case of an ambush. The Highway Patrol building had been defended long after the fall of the state government and abandoned without much fanfare sometime after. All that was left was a farewell letter from the last Trooper to stay. Ethan pocketed that letter for later. The Highway Patrol HQ meant they now had access to a much more powerful radio than the handhelds, and with generators hooked up and fueled they now had a repeater that could reach clear across the Missouri River. It took about forty five minutes to hook the radio up, but finally they had reliable communications.

  “Where are you going?” Lee asked as Ethan stepped outside the building. There was an abandoned Sonic nearby and the Mess Sergeant was setting up a barbeque on the benches. It would raise troop morale and attract anyone who could still smell. A taste of the old world could go a long way in making new friends.

  “To the capitol building. I’d like t
o see if I can take the hard drives from the computers. You never know if maybe they have the answers to who killed JFK or something.” Ethan smiled.

  “Right. You just want to sit behind the Governor’s desk. Your secret motivations are revealed!” Ethan’s grin gave Lee his answer. “I don’t want to spoil your fun, but I’d rather you stayed here. Though I guess there’s no reason you can’t go with First Platoon. They’re only going to be there long enough to take a peek inside in case we want to come back. If you can find the hard drives, though, maybe we can take a look if it’s safe.” Lee stepped closer to Ethan and whispered, “See if you can find any information about where the government went. I’d bet anything state governments were invited to Cheyenne, and as cozy as Missouri could be with Chicago politicians… I guess I’ve become a bit of a conspiracy theorist in my old age.”

  Ethan patted his brother on the shoulder, “Ignorance is bliss, no?”

  First Platoon had to walk to the capitol building, which was a good distance from the Highway Patrol’s HQ. It was a slow, paranoid walk, none of them used to patrolling such a large urban area on foot. For the men who’d been to war before the tension was almost overwhelming, their mindset saying to them there was a sniper in every window, a suicide bomber or zombie behind every rock. Of the troops in First, only a handful were prior service from any of the branches. Many were FNG’s, some were still just kids. The sight made Ethan lose himself in thought, remembering his friends and comrades in the Army, what it was like to be so close to brothers from another mother. Though pointless and often torturous, route marches had always been a fun experience when it came to spending time with friends.

  What would it be like, Ethan’s trains of thought took him, if they ever had to return to St. Louis? The burned out buildings often contained numerous charred corpses, some of which could still move. The Cav was also under orders not to go searching random buildings unless it was on the docket and in force. Zombies that weren’t an immediate threat were to be left alone. A bank and a bar were on the route 1st Platoon was taking to the capital building, both were just skeletal remains of collapsed brick and charred wood. The scene was like seeing the corpses from the Nazi ovens in real life, only to have them lean upwards and reach for you, their blackened teeth snapping and singed lungs belching out black goo and ash plumes. Everyone wanted to put those poor souls out of their misery, but orders were orders.