Love's Misconception

by Flynn Eire

  “Because I think it’s going to be a contention point here if something doesn’t get resolved if I bring up your name. I found out they weren’t asking for dirt on you. There is a warrior here that came from Seattle that was severely abused a few decades ago. When they heard I got shipped off here, not treated well by the camp, I think they connected the dots wrong and assumed I was in the same boat.”

  “Yes, I remember rumblings about this not too long ago. He slipped through the cracks and I never got the full story. Everyone was very hush-hush about his abuse. All right, well I’m glad Ashton is not coming after you.” She paused and I knew she was figuring out the most succinct and politically correct way to say why she didn’t like the man instead of just being honest.

  Like I was her son or something.

  “He looks down his nose at the whole system. I understand he did not have a good relationship with his father, but our way of life is not broken. Is it perfect? No, of course not, but a hundred-year pup does not have all the answers either. He makes a lot of people not listen to him, no matter if his ideas are good or not, with that attitude that we are all corrupt old fogies as his father was. It is offensive and I hate listening to the little twerp whine.”

  “Mother, do you know what his father did to him?” I whispered, wondering what she knew of his whining. I’d only caught snippets now, but it was enough that I felt bad for Theo.

  “He tried to force him to mate some girl from a well-off family or something.”

  “That something was locking him up for six months, beating him, depriving him of blood until he bit the girl. Ashton didn’t cave. Both families were in on it. The girl was just as sadistic, taunting him, branding him while he was chained in a bomb shelter in his own filth, weak and on the verge of death.”

  “Dear lord, no, I hadn’t known that. Why would his father go to such lengths?”

  “Apparently he hated Theo for not being a warrior like him and that he’s gay.”

  “Oh, oh,” she whispered and my heart sank. “That explains a lot about Ashton senior.”

  “Thanking your lucky stars at least I was still born a warrior, Mother?” I bit out, swallowing down my tears.

  “That’s not what I said, London. Do not get all sentimental or—”

  “Is that what I would have had to look forward to if I’d been gay and not born a warrior? Locked up until I bit someone you could have mated me off to for a decent match for the family? Good thing I was a warrior and at least was easy to ship off.” The first tear fell and I knew it wouldn’t be long before more came.

  “London, I would never have done that to you. I have put many to death for mating against someone’s will. That is the one law there is no leeway in my eyes.”

  That was her argument for my accusations. Not that I would have been any less of a man in her eyes if I hadn’t been born a warrior or that she wasn’t almost as bad as Ashton. “I have to go. I’ll email when I have more to report. Goodbye, Mother. Lovely talk.” I disconnected before I said something else—or she did—that we might regret or couldn’t move past later.

  I slid my phone in my pocket, tossed my barely-touched lunch, and headed to the range, angrily wiping tears. The help had been nice before lunch, but I was grateful now to be alone and that the pre-trans would be going onto other training for the afternoon. It also put me way ahead of the mental schedule I’d put together that morning because the vault was spotless, all the larger weapons were stripped and cleaned as well.

  Along with all the bullets, rounds, and clips organized and tallied off to the side.

  Now I had the afternoon to check it, put them back together and test them… Just when I really, really needed to shoot shit. And that was what I did. I put targets up on all motorized lanes, sent them down the alleys, oiled the weapons as I reassembled them, loaded up mags, and let out my aggression at my family and over the cards I’d been dealt flow out of me.

  Moments like the conversation with my mother had been why I’d gotten into guns in the first place. My father had quite the collection, and as we were people of money, they were all on display in locked cases, but I’d learned early, and it was completely acceptable to take a child hunting in wealthy families or whatever. I never fought it, using target practice as one of my favorite ways to escape the insanity… And for once gaining the approval of my parents.

  The more proficient I became the more they actually left me alone and ragged on me less. What I hadn’t known until I was older was that they always knew I was gay. While other boys were looking at girls, I looked at boys. I hadn’t known it to be odd. Instead of discussing it like a normal family would, they pulled me from the coven’s school, and paid tutors to teach me so no one would see my disgusting ways.

  Yes, always so healthy. That was my family’s middle name really.

  I was almost relaxed by the time the sun was starting to set, all the bigger guns tested, re-cleaned, oiled, and put away. I was logging the last of the bullets I used so I could get the first of my orders in right away when I noticed a big guy had snuck in and was leaning against one of the range dividers and it took me every bit of willpower not to yelp in shock.

  And when his name popped into my head, that didn’t make me want to yelp any less. “Lynx, right?”

  “You study our bios or someone point us out to you?”

  “What can I help you with, Lynx? The range is closed until I have time to inspect and test everything as the note said, but if you have an off-camp assignment, I can check out whatever you need first.”

  “Nope, no assignment. Just wanted to meet our newest warrior,” he chuckled deeply, voice smooth and slick.

  A healthy shot of lust went through me as I received a few images of how he wanted to meet me. I mentally shrugged. Sounded good to me. “Sure. Come by my room after dinner. You can meet me all you want if your cock’s as big as you are.”

  I bit back a smirk as his jaw fell open. Guess a little bluntness and he lost his smooth attitude. “Are you always this blunt?”

  “I find it moves the conversation past the games and dancing.” Then I glanced at him over my shoulder and smiled. “You did come here to see if I was open to sex, right?” He bobbed his head, still looking like he was having trouble with words. “I am and I’m free tonight, so if you want to, come by my room after dinner. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just wrapping up here and I need a shower.”

  “Yeah, um, okay, nice meeting you, London.”

  “You too,” I chuckled as he walked away looking confused as he kept shooting me glances as if he might turn around or try and say more.

  But he didn’t. They never did. They wanted the sex and that was more important than worrying if everything was okay with me or whatever else might muddle up their conscience if they had one… Except Drake. He was the oddity. Simply thinking about him made me smile as I finished tucking everything away. I liked having a friend with benefits much better than just fuck buddies.

  Hell, I simply liked having a friend.

  I locked everything up, making sure the sign was visible to anyone who might enter and almost found a padlock to put on the gun range gate but then thought that was taking things too far before heading to the main ops building. I had to show some trust to get any trust.

  And on that great sentiment, I ended up ducking behind a truck when I saw Lynx outside the barn doors as Drake walked out of them, something in my gut or gift telling me to.

  “Hey, sorry things didn’t work out with you and London,” Lynx called over.

  Drake raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you talking about? We had a great time yesterday, this morning too.”

  “Oh, so you guys are just friends?”

  “No.” Drake cleared his throat and glanced at his feet. “I mean, yes. We were intimate, but he doesn’t date.”

  “Drake,” Lynx growled.

  “It’s fine.” Then his head popped up and there was hurt in his eyes. “Why? Did he ask
you out?”

  “No, he said I could come to his room and bang him tonight.” My eyes went wide as I watched Lynx’s words effect Drake like a slap across the face. “See? This is bad. You like him. You don’t do casual or fuck buddies. Drunk hookups once a decade maybe but that’s it.”

  “Friends with benefits,” Drake corrected quietly. “Just because I haven’t before doesn’t mean I can’t now.”

  “Drake, you’re hurt he’s cheating on you and—”

  “It’s not cheating. We’re not together.”

  “Tell me it feels any different to you inside,” Lynx murmured gently to his friend.

  “I’m a grown ass man,” Drake growled, shoving Lynx away when he tried to comfort him. “Look, London’s special, okay? If this is what he needs, or all he can offer, then I’ll take it.”

  “Until he’s ready for more and you guys can be together for real?”

  “Yes.” All three of our eyes went wide at Drake’s answer, but then he shook his head. “No. I don’t know. Maybe? Can I just see past a day? This is what he said he wanted. We had fun. He likes the boys, they like him so he’s obviously good people, and he’s had a rough start here. He needs someone on his side. If he doesn’t want something serious, I’m fine with that.”

  “Okay but we don’t dip in the same ink. Friends don’t do that,” Lynx grumbled.

  “No, it’s—yeah,” Drake whispered. “He wanted to still have sex with you. I must not have been enough. Don’t say no on my account.”

  I felt like a first-rate asshole hearing it from his side. I’d never thought about it like that… Then again, no one had ever cared if forty guys had fucked me. No one had ever cared about me. I was just the hole they got their rocks off with and I wanted the sex.

  Emotions never came into play.

  Me saying I’d have sex with Lynx when he came chatting me up certainly wasn’t any reflection on Drake’s ability. He was the best sex I’d ever had. I wasn’t even sure what one had to do with the other, but in a way, I could also see the correlation of thought that he didn’t meet my needs so I was still looking.

  He couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I simply hadn’t meant to limit my options by hooking up with him. But now he was invested and I hadn’t wanted that either.

  Then again, I had never considered it a possibility. Watching and hearing how he liked me, that he was upset I would let Lynx bang me after we’d been intimate actually did something to my heart.

  And some kind of miracle or insanity—yeah, probably insanity—happened. I stepped out from behind the truck, letting them both see me.

  “Umm, Lynx, thanks for stopping by and seeing if I was up for entertaining tonight, but I think I’m just going to chill and settle in on my own,” I mumbled, staring at the barn some place between them, careful not to meet either of their gazes.

  “That’s your answer after I say I won’t mess around with someone Drake’s messing around with? Cute,” Lynx sneered.

  Shit! “No, well, I didn’t mean it like that.” I sighed and my gaze flicked to Drake’s for a second but then I felt even more awkward so then I chose my boots as my focal point. “Right, you did say that. Sorry. Lot to process.”

  “Eavesdropping will do that,” Lynx snapped.

  “Would you cut it out and give him a break?” Drake hissed at him. He took a step closer to me. “What are you trying to say, London?”

  “I didn’t know it would hurt you,” I admitted after a moment. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t like that I hurt you. I’m sorry. You’re right that I can’t offer anything more. I’ve never been this much with someone and the idea of more makes me pretty much want to panic for a list of reasons, so yeah, I won’t go there, but I also won’t accept anyone else sniffing around me if it hurts you or makes you think you’re not enough sexually because you are, believe me you are.”

  “So you’re willing to be exclusive friends with benefits?” he clarified in a concise way after a few beats.

  I swallowed loudly and nodded, thinking that sounded a lot like dating, and way too close to being in a relationship or worse—on our way to mating which might as well be death with how I’d seen people who were mated be dead inside. “I’ll try it.” I met his eyes then. “Either way, like I said before, I want us to be friends first and friends don’t hurt each other. But you need to know if you think this will end with us mated, it won’t. I won’t ever mate. I’d rather die than kill my soul by giving it to someone else to ruin.”

  That was the longest I’d ever talked about feelings or emotions or much of anything serious in my life besides family obligation or being a warrior, and my heart felt like it was about to beat out my chest, so I turned on my heel and hurried off, making sure not to run… While my insides were screaming to run, run as fast as I could.

  I compromised, putting a lot of space between us and making sure I was somewhere public where Drake wouldn’t dare talk more on the subject but I didn’t physically run. There, that was semi-mature.

  Mostly.

  Sort of.

  Okay, fine, it wasn’t completely childish of me and I did need to start getting these major orders in.

  “I need to put in some supply requests,” I said as I walked into ops, hoping someone would fill me in. A few people pointed towards the hall of bigwig offices, and I knew without asking that meant Alexander’s office. I smiled politely as they shot me apologetic looks. I didn’t think they would have any trouble going to talk to him, but by now, in a camp where there couldn’t be much else to talk about, everyone had heard about what had happened.

  “Look, I’m sorry things with him got off to a rocky start, and I get he’s one of yours, but if there’s something going on with another councilmember I need to know and I need to press the guy,” Councilman Ashton said from behind Alexander’s closed door. “I’ve got enough enemies dealing with my father’s shit, and now I’ve got another one I didn’t even know about on the West Coast Council so I need to talk to him.”

  I ground my teeth, knocked, and opened the door right up.

  “Sorry to be so rude but considering you’re talking about me and not quietly, I felt I could just walk right in,” I blurted, noting the way Alexander smirked. Then I looked at Theo. “You don’t need to talk with me, you want to. And honestly I was going to talk with you, try and extend the olive branch between our families, but really, I kinda see what my mother is saying now. You’re a dick.” It was fun to see both their mouths fall open at that one. “You’ve got this chip on your shoulder of I’m not my father, but you’re in here demanding shit as a councilman.

  “So you kinda can’t have it both ways, looking down your nose at people who pull that crap and then pull that crap. I get it, your dad was a bastard. I’m sorry for you. I am. I get the pressure of being an old family, lineage council family, and blah, blah, blah. But you’re in here at my place of work, putting pressure on my boss, because my mommy doesn’t like you, and you want to pull rank to get answers. Are you kidding me?”

  Ashton opened his mouth, closed it, then lifted his hand, holding up his index finger, before slowly lowering it, and finally blowing out a long, loud, harsh breath. “Well when you put it like that, I am a dick.”

  “No, you acted like a dick this one time,” his mate corrected with a smirk. I hadn’t even seen him leaning against the back wall I’d been so caught up in my own rant. “And that’s okay after everything you’ve been through and getting thrown into the deep end of major, major shit, where people just didn’t not like you, they wanted to kill you.”

  I nodded, getting that he was saying that for my benefit. “Well, I’m saying that off the record as more or less the Aberdeen stance. And furthermore, off the record, I will say that no one on the West Coast Council seemed to be aware of what happened with the previous Ashton and what he did to Theo. All they knew was the new Councilman Ashton took over, tended to treat everyone like old fogies—my mother’s term—and the young kid knew more and
better than everyone, which turned even the more progressive ones who were open to change suddenly deaf.”

  “That’s not entirely unfair,” Theo mumbled, slumping in his chair.

  Evan shot me a harsh look.

  “Hey, he wanted to know. Shit, he’s been hounding me to know. Now he knows and can fix it if he’s really not a dick, but leave my family out of it. And way off the record, my mother probably won’t ever really like him, because she shipped her own son out here to hide the queerness in her family. She sounded almost sad for Ashton senior that you’re queer and didn’t turn out to be a warrior. I told her she should feel lucky at least I was a warrior so she didn’t have to try and forcibly mate me off.”

  “And how did that go over?” Theo asked, his eyes wide.

  I kept calm and decided to tell them the truth because I’d opened that can of worms after all. “She told me not to be ridiculous. She’s always been against forced matings and has ruled to put many people to death who have committed such crimes no matter the circumstances.”

  Again, all the mouths in the room fell open. It would almost be comical if that was ever what I was going for and if it wasn’t my life. And then I wanted to really get out of there.

  “Here’s a list of what I need to restock the vault to start with,” I informed Alexander as I set the list on his desk. “I’ll try to get the rest of my orders in by the end of the week but it might be Monday depending on how long it’s been since the handguns have been tended to. You’re short on what Seattle’s inventory is for rifles and other weapons. Is there a wish list I might start or is it just what we can get our hands on?”

  Alexander glanced over the sheet for barely a moment before nodding. “Request whatever you think we need, definitely I want to know what the other camp has readily available and trains on. If there’s something you feel we should also update given your research and expertise, bring it to my attention with a short why, and I’ll see we get all of it.”

  I hadn’t expected it to go that well and I was pretty sure my face registered that but I quickly schooled it. “Absolutely. I’ll get you the list of what Seattle has first thing in the morning and any additions to what we already have given the camp’s numbers as well.”