Guilty Hearts

by Jade Winters

  “Red would be lovely please.”

  “Make yourself comfortable,” Kathryn called out as she entered the adjoining kitchen. Her hands trembled as she picked up the wine bottle. What the hell is wrong with me? It’s only dinner. She wished she could physically shake some sense into herself for blowing everything out of proportion. She couldn’t believe the state she was getting herself into. Not for the first time did she wish she had the confidence that Rachel possessed. Though she was more than confident in her business life, when it came to matters of the heart she reverted to an inexperienced teenager. Taking a deep breath, she quickly poured two generous glasses of wine before making her way back into the living room.

  “This is some place,” Rachel said as Kathryn approached her.

  “Thanks, here you go,” Kathryn said, handing her a glass. “Cheers.”

  “Cheers ... mmm it’s beautiful it feels like velvet coating my mouth,” Rachel said as she swallowed the wine.

  “It’s a 2005 Château Pétrus. I took a few bottles from our wine collection,” Kathryn said, settling onto the sofa next to her.

  “Won’t Gareth mind?”

  Kathryn shook her head slightly. Gareth was the last person she wanted to be reminded off this evening. “No,” she finally said. “It was a collection we’d both built up over the years,” Kathryn said, smiling.

  “I’m glad you did ... So, how come you’re here and he’s not?” Rachel asked, her eyes dropping to Kathryn’s bare wedding finger.

  Kathryn shrugged her shoulders and let out a heavy sigh. “It just wasn’t working for obvious reasons.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you?”

  A faint smile touched Rachel’s lips. “Yes, for him, I am.”

  They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before Kathryn pushed herself up from the sofa. “Right, are you ready for oysters?”

  Rachel hesitated. “Not really, but if they’re cooked I’m sure they can’t be that bad.”

  “They’re not. I won’t be long,” Kathryn said, disappearing into the kitchen before returning ten minutes later, carrying a platter of oysters grilled with lime, herb and garlic breadcrumbs accompanied by a red chilli sauce. She laid the tray on the glass dining table as Rachel took a seat.

  “Okay, this is chilli sauce,” Kathryn said pointing at a small pot of red sauce.

  “Home made?”

  “Of course, dip in and enjoy,” Kathryn said, taking one herself.

  Rachel picked one of the shells up and, using her fingers, plucked out the oyster before popping it into her mouth and slowly chewing. “Hey, that tastes really good,” she said.

  “I told you.”

  “So where did you learn to make these?” Rachel asked, taking another from the plate.

  Kathryn smiled sheepishly. “I have to confess I took cookery lessons”.

  “I’m glad to see it wasn’t wasted. I take it that our main is shellfish too?”

  “Baked Lobster in garlic butter with homemade chips.”

  Rachel leaned back in her chair. “Wow, I could get use to this.”

  “And if you have room for dessert — crème brulee.”

  Rachel licked her lips. “I can’t wait.”

  “Hopefully by the end of this evening I will have converted you into a shellfish lover.”

  “Let’s hope that’s not all,” Rachel said, as she smiled at her mischievously.

  ***

  Two hours later, as Kathryn sat on the sofa in front of the crackling fire, the last thing she should have felt was cold. But cold she was, her blood like ice in her veins as she listened to the noises emanating from her kitchen. Rachel seemed to be taking her time clearing away the dishes, something she had insisted upon, and Kathryn wasn’t certain whether she felt grateful for the temporary reprieve or simply anxious about the night ahead. She pinched a lock of her hair between her thumb and forefinger and rubbed the strands over one another as she sat with her legs curled beneath her.

  The silence that fell from the kitchen came all too soon, and Kathryn swallowed her nerves as Rachel entered the living room. Kathryn’s heart ached as he took in how beautiful Rachel looked as she joined her on the sofa, leaving several inches of space between them, and flashed her a smile.

  “That meal was amazing, thank you,” Rachel said.

  “You’re welcome.” The words died in Kathryn’s throat as Rachel leaned over and laid her slender hand on her thigh. Kathryn felt her knees quiver as their eyes locked momentarily until she broke the gaze and looked down to Rachel’s hand. She lowered her own hand over it — not to remove it but to slowly raise it gently to her lips. As she pressed a lingering kiss on each of Rachel’s finger tips Kathryn could smell a citrus scent.

  “Your hands are so soft,” she whispered, bringing Rachel’s hand to rest against her cheek. The unmistakable arousal in Rachel’s eyes hit her like a thunder bolt, reminding her of the sweet taste of her mouth when they had first kissed. Rachel’s reassuring smile gave Kathryn all the confidence she needed as she leaned over towards her, reaching around the back of her neck and drawing her closer.

  This was it. There was no turning back now — this is what she wanted more than anything. To make love to Rachel with no feelings of guilt or self doubt.

  “Kathryn, you know we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” Rachel said, resting her free hand gently against Kathryn’s cheek. Kathryn’s eyes widened and she bit her lip as she lifted her gaze to meet Rachel’s comforting one. Smoothing back a loose lock of hair away from Kathryn’s face she continued, “It’s fine if you don’t feel ready. We can just sit and talk ....”

  Kathryn slowly shook her head. Just Rachel’s touch sent shivers of a different kind racing through her body. If she wasn’t ready now, with her, after such a perfect night, she would never be. Kathryn returned her smile, suddenly feeling much bolder than she ever remembered.

  “I ... I'm ready, Rachel,” she whispered. Rachel smiled sensuously as she closed the space between them. Kathryn leaned into Rachel’s embrace, her heart fluttering wildly with every tender kiss Rachel planted on her lips. Kathryn’s hands took on a life of their own and began to roam under Rachel’s clothes. She trembled with excitement as she felt at last the perfect body she’d spent so many nights fantasising about.

  The sudden sound of a door slamming outside caused Kathryn to momentarily jump back. Quickly glancing towards the window then back to Rachel, she bowed her head, a shadow of doubt touching her features. “I’m sorry.”

  “Just relax,” Rachel said softly, tilting Kathryn’s face upwards and gently stroking her cheek with the back of her hand. To Kathryn, her touch felt like a feather, so soft and tantalising and utterly arousing. She leaned in towards her, hovering for just a moment before letting out a soft sigh as she moved her mouth over Rachel’s in a sensuous exploration, her tongue slipping between her lips. She could taste the sweetness of wine as she cupped Rachel’s face, pressing her lips hard against her own.

  Kathryn’s mouth soon left Rachel’s to explore the feminine curve of her silky smooth neck, her red lipstick leaving behind sweet reminders of her touch. The feel of Rachel’s skin against her lips made her want to explore much more. She breathed in dizzily, longing for Rachel to take charge and show her the way.

  As if reading her mind, Rachel’s confident fingers began to unbutton Kathryn’s shirt and remove her bra. Kathryn’s breath came in short, sharp gasps as Rachel took her nipples between her lips, one after the other. Her tongue swirled around her sensitive orbs, pausing only for a brief moment as she stopped to shuck Kathryn from her now superfluous clothing. Kathryn lay back on the sofa, at last entirely vulnerable to her ministrations, and whimpered with need as Rachel peeled off her own top.

  Expertly, Rachel reached around her back and single handily unclipped her own bra, leaving her naked except for the jeans she wore. Kathryn felt every drop of her blood in her veins surge to her face as she took in the beautiful f
emale form before her. How long had she been waiting for this moment? She knew that this was where she was meant to be and nothing else mattered in the universe except Rachel.

  She heard Rachel’s breath catch above the crackling of the burning wood as Rachel stared at her with desire — the glare of the flames glowing in Rachel’s eyes.

  The feel of Rachel’s beating heart against her chest exalted her as she drew her into a tight embrace, Rachel’s tongue searching her own with great ferocity.

  Swallowing hard past a lump in her throat, Kathryn reached out and took one of Rachel’s pert breasts in her hand, her thumb gently caressing her nipple, causing it to tighten into a hard ball.

  The first teasing tingles of desire were just beginning to build in her burning core when Rachel moved slightly away from her before gently pulling her down to join her on the shag pile carpet. No longer self-conscious of her nakedness, Kathryn slid willingly into Rachel’s opened arms. Her fingers laced through Rachel’s hair as she caressed the outline of her mouth with the tip of her tongue, before kissing her deeply, savouring every moment. A quick moan escaped Rachel’s mouth as Kathryn grazed her neck with her tongue, her hot breath against her skin. Kathryn pushed her gently down onto her back. Slowly, she began to unbutton Rachel’s jeans, all the while holding her gaze, a lazy smile on her face until she undid the last button and eased them down. She drew in a quick breath as she noticed Rachel wasn’t wearing any underwear.

  Slowly and seductively, Kathryn’s gaze slid over Rachel’s body. “You are so beautiful,” Kathryn said hoarsely as she outlined Rachel’s breasts with the tip of her finger. She slowly moved downwards, over her flat stomach, taking pleasure in feeling the softness of her skin. Rachel’s stomach rose and fell quickly, her chest expanding with every breath she took. As Rachel pulled Kathryn onto to her, Kathryn’s world spun and careened on its axis as they lay skin to skin as though they were one, finding the tempo that bound their bodies together. With each caress, Kathryn was dimly aware of the differences between Rachel’s body and her soon to be ex-husband’s. Everything about Rachel — from the curve of her shoulders, to the softness of her skin, and her feminine scent — was different, and different was so thrilling. From out of nowhere, memories of her wedding day and the vows she took, swearing to love, honour and obey, to forsake all others, flooded her mind only to melt away like sugar over an open flame as Rachel’s hands caressed her body.

  Kathryn’s eyes swung between open and shut as Rachel filled both her senses and her thoughts. Rachel’s movements were slow and patient, and it felt like she knew just when and where to touch her. Kathryn’s eyes brimmed with joyful tears as Rachel whispered soft, sweet endearments against her neck; it was exactly as she’d always imagined, and infinitely better.

  “I want to feel you inside me,” Rachel cried, guiding Kathryn’s hand between her thighs, and letting out a moan of delight as Kathryn’s fingers glided easily into her. With Rachel’s hand covering Kathryn’s, Rachel encouraged her to thrust harder with each breath she took, pulling Kathryn closer and kissing her deeply. Kathryn clung to her and buried her face into Rachel’s hair as she sank herself into her, inch by tantalizing inch. Rachel’s muffled moans filled the room and urged Kathryn on.

  “I want to taste you,” Kathryn whispered into Rachel’s ear. She lay on her back, her body quivering in anticipation as Rachel moved along the length of Kathryn’s body on her knees until she reached Kathryn’s mouth. Kathryn raised her chin, rolled back her head and reached up with the tip of her tongue to make contact with Rachel’s epicentre. Her stomach flittered when Rachel moaned in ecstasy as she lowered herself firmly onto Kathryn’s tongue, slowly moving rhythmically against it. With a throbbing sensation mounting between her own legs, Kathryn reached down and began to stroke herself, the pace of her finger matching the flickering of her tongue against Rachel’s clit, savouring her taste. She quickened the motion of her finger as Rachel’s hip’s began to move faster, pressing down on her tongue so hard she could barely breathe. Kathryn was too caught up in the ecstasy of the moment to care as she matched her urgency by probing and licking Rachel’s pleasure point until Rachel let out a long cry before slumping forward on all fours. Rachel’s chest rose and fell under her laboured breathing. It was several moments before she moved to lay opposite Kathryn.

  Rachel dropped her chin on her chest with a sigh of pleasure. “Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”

  “Positive.”

  “Well, I give you ten out of ten for being a quick learner,” Rachel said with a flicker of amusement in her expression.

  Kathryn smiled before she realised that she still had her hand between her legs. She attempted to move it before Rachel clasped her hand.

  “Don’t move — I want to watch you.”

  Kathryn glanced up with shyness as an unwelcomed blush crept into her cheeks. “I —” Kathryn was about to protest until she saw the smouldering flame in Rachel’s eyes. All feelings of embarrassment vanished as the desire to please Rachel overwhelmed her.

  Closing her eyes, she resumed stoking herself. Knowing Rachel was watching her made the experience all the more sensual. She arched her back as she felt Rachel caress her breast, tugging gently on her hardened nipples before trailing her finger down her stomach and replacing Kathryn’s hand with her own — stimulating her clitoris with her finger and thumb.

  With every stroke, her heart beat faster, each barely audible groan that escaped Rachel’s lips made the blood pound through Kathryn’s veins. As Rachel lowered her head and teasingly licked her stomach in circular motions, Kathryn suppressed the urge to laugh as her abdomen tensed in response to the sensation.

  “Are you ticklish?” Rachel asked between movements.

  “A little, but don’t stop, I like it.”

  “I wasn’t going to,” Rachel said, as she traced a path of kisses downward until her face disappeared between Kathryn’s legs. Within moments, Rachel’s skilful tongue sent Kathryn careening toward heights of pleasure she’d never even suspected. Her every touch drew forth notes of delight from the instrument of her body and she hoped she would never stop playing her.

  Kathryn stifled a cry, biting down on her bottom lip as she felt Rachel’s tongue ease deep into her, then withdraw and tease her with soft stokes. She brought her to the edge with a fast flicker, before retreating to drop butterfly kisses along her inner thigh. Kathryn didn’t know how much longer she could last before exploding — it was too much to bear.

  As Rachel brought her tongue to her centre again, Kathryn arched her back, gripping Rachel’s slender shoulders, pressing her nails in deep as Rachel’s tongue moved over her engorged clit with strong impelling strokes. Kathryn’s hands slid off the perspiration on Rachel’s back. Kathryn squirmed and writhed with aching need, desperate for Rachel’s touch to bring her the rest of the way.

  She closed her eyes, face contorted and teeth clenched. Kathryn held Rachel’s head in place fiercely as the last delicious, shuddering moments came upon her.

  Lost in a moment of euphoria, Kathryn smiled to herself as Rachel sidled up beside her, showering her with little kisses along the way until she finally reached her face.

  Kathryn turned her head to look at her. “I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

  Rachel smiled broadly. “That was just the beginning,” she said, tenderly stroking her arm. “I’ve got a lot more to teach you.”

  “I can’t wait.” Everything was perfect. She had finally filled that gaping hole that had been there all of her life.

  Their bodies naked and still moist from their lovemaking, they lay in each other’s arms, caressing each other gently.

  “I never knew,” Kathryn murmured after a while, “I never dreamt it could be so sweet.”

  “Believe it or not, it only gets sweeter,” Rachel answered with a grin and planted a kiss on the top of her head, before snuggling down into the crook of Kathryn’s arm.

  Kathryn softly stroked Rachel’
s hair until she fell asleep, then leaning in, she whispered into her ear, “I love you.”

  ***

  The birds chirping in the morning sky weren’t the only ones that were happy. Rachel smiled a long lazy smile as Kathryn opened her eyes.

  “Good morning,” Rachel said, gently touching Kathryn’s cheek.

  “How long have you been up?” Kathryn asked as she shielded the light from her eyes.

  “A while.”

  “You should have woken me.”

  “I didn’t want to disturb you, besides, I was enjoying watching you sleep.”

  Kathryn pulled a face then tugged the quilt she had retrieved from the bedroom the previous night over her head. “I bet I look a right mess.”

  “No, you look beautiful,” Rachel said, pulling back the quilt and planting a kiss on Kathryn’s lips. “Are you okay?”

  Kathryn nodded. “It just feels a bit —”

  “Strange sleeping with a woman?” Rachel finished for her.

  “Yes, you could say that.”

  “Do you have any regrets?”

  “None whatsoever. It’s not so much about you being a woman, I think I’d have felt this way even if you were a man. Gareth is the only partner I’ve ever had.”

  Rachel’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding?”

  “No it’s true, he was the first and only person I’ve ever slept with, apart from you.”

  “Wow,” Rachel said.

  “I feel a bit guilty if I’m honest. I feel as if I’m still married to him even though we are separated.”

  “You have nothing to feel guilty about, he’s a grown man and can look after himself.”

  “Yes, I know, but when you’ve been in a relationship for so long it’s strange not being with them. Can you understand?”

  Rachel shifted uncomfortably and shrugged her shoulders. “Well seeing as I haven’t been in a relationship before, I can’t really say I do,” she said unapologetically as she let out a long sigh. “As far as I’m concerned relationships are more hassle than their worth.”