Redeemed Love
Page 29
When Drake pulls his arm back and his fist connects with my face, I’m jarred by his blow. The sound of bones popping erupts through the air. As I reel from the blow, we both make it to our feet.
I hold my fist up and cover my face while Drake does the same, just like we used to do when we’d spar with Reggie in the garage. But this is not training or joking around; this is for real, and both Drake and I are out for blood. We’ve bottled up the pain for so long we are ready to annihilate each other.
He swings again, but I deflect it then quickly ram my face in his jaw. Blood splatters from his mouth and he spits it on the ground. He retaliates and connects his fist with my head and then it really begins. We don’t stop. We just wail on each other with our fists, knees, and legs. Blood, sweat, and pain fly from our bodies, yet we cannot stop. We keep hitting each other back and forth.
Then I see my opening. Drake is wavering on his feet, getting tired. This is where he and I different. I’m a killer. I can feel the vibration of his labored breathing and sense all through the air that he is close to being done. Killers know this about their opponents, know when we should take the enemy out, and I spot my opportunity as Drake lets his fist fall slightly.
I duck his punch and grab him around the waist again. Drake is pounding his fists into my back, but I am able to hang on just enough. I pick him up and carry my six-foot-four brother toward the backyard.
I then bend down, using my legs and every bit of energy I have left, releasing a loud grunt as I toss him like a rag doll against the metal chain-link fence. The fence clatters, just as it did the night the police had to hold him back from attacking me. The night his hatred was created and mine completely took over my body. It was a night that could kill us today. That very night changed everything for me. The way my family looked at me as a person… Everything changed that night.
My heart swells, breaks, and collapses against the walls of my chest. I cannot do this again to my family; I won’t let the beast be who I am. I love my brother and I am done. If he wants to finish me off, so be it. But I am done. I won’t fight any longer.
I stop.
My entire being stops as I recall the reason why he is hurting me. I couldn’t protect Presley, and because I failed, my brother was left to suffer with her death. I went to prison and suffered in my own right, but Drake has a living, breathing reminder of what he lost in Mia. She looks like her mother, and he has to see that every single day. I can’t do this. I can’t let the beast win when it’s him who got me here in the first place.
I stand over Drake and lower my hands. He pulls his bruised body off the ground and swings his arm. He connects his fist with my face and I fall back, the igniting pain burning the side of my face. I am ready to accept my punishment, and if that means an eye for an eye, then here I am.
When I lean forward and place my palms on the cement, I look at my knuckles and see the skin torn away, bleeding from the wounds. They were once my weapon, lethal and devoted to the criminal underworld, but now they need to heal. Just like my relationship with Drake, my hands need to heal to be relieved of their heinous past.
If this is what he wants, what he needs, then I’m here to give it to him. As I sit up on my knees and raise my hands in surrender, Drake stands over me and hits me in the face again. The explosion of pain erupts from my eye and blood starts to leak down my face.
“Get up!” Drake shouts at me.
“No.” All I taste is copper as the blood gets into my mouth. I turn my head and spit. “I’m done fighting you.”
“You chickenshit pussy, get up!” Drake punches me again in the face while I sit back and take the blow. I keep my control enough to know this is what he needs to do to have peace.
“If this is what you want… what you need to have peace, then so be it.” I hold my hands up in surrender again.
“Ugh!” Drake screams out and looks around. He is trying to muster up his own beast to take me out, but he doesn’t have one because he’s a good person. “Why did you come here then? Why did you send me this?”
Drake pulls out the letter I wrote him a year after I was locked up.
According to my agreement with Matt, I could only send one letter. As much as I wanted to write Cami, I knew what my purpose was while I was in prison. I was sent there to test my sanity and to finish the job with Carter. He was my last hit, and I wanted my brother to know that I would handle his retribution for him. I would be willing to get my hands dirty since they’d been stained with blood from the moment I walked into the Ryker’s house.
I pick up the letter and see the envelope is not opened. He hasn’t read my letter, therefore he doesn’t know what I was willing to do to give him some shred of peace.
“Why didn’t you open the letter?’
“Because I wasn’t interested in forgiveness, Jeremy. And I sure as hell didn’t want to read your plea for it in a letter.” Drake stands over me, blood dripping from his face as he wobbles on his feet. We are both broken and exhausted. I can see the hate still living in his eyes, though. I know this is the time to explain the double life I led. It’s time for him to know and my brothers to understand who I really am.
I slowly rise to my feet, teetering back and forth, with Cami and the others surrounding Drake and me. I can hear faint sobs. The tension of the moment is suffocating us all.
After I feel Cami’s hand slide inside of mine, I look at the letter clasped between my fingers and rip it open. I pull the paper from the envelope and unfold it, all the while looking my brother in the eye. Then I hold it up and read it aloud.
Drake,
There is no explanation for the pain I’ve caused you. You are on my mind every minute of every day I’ve spent at I-Max. I think about Mia and the fact she will be left without her mother, and I know I’m at fault. I should have done more to protect Presley. It should have been me who stepped in front of the bullet, not her. Then your lives would be freely at ease.
I’ve been tortured, beaten, stabbed, and almost killed in the thirteen months I’ve been in here, and I know that is nowhere near the pain you have to experience on a daily basis. The only thing I can do now is give you the comfort of knowing Carter Brown will not make it out of prison to hurt anyone again.
I have fully changed into the man who will hunt him down and seek vengeance for what he’s done to Presley, to you, and to our family. His blood will be on my hands before I leave the confines of this prison. And if not, you will not see or hear from me until it’s over. Hopefully, you look to this letter and have a small amount of peace in your life knowing your retribution has been fulfilled.
Your brother,
Jeremy
I toss the letter on the ground and look at Drake as he works over what I’ve said in his head, putting the pieces of this fucked up puzzle together. He walks to the fence and then makes his way into the backyard where he collapses on the picnic table and rests his head in his palms. His body is slumped forward as if all the life has been sucked from his soul. I’ve broken through his wall of hate, and this is my chance to explain to him—to all of them—why I became the man I did.
I look over to Reggie and Jake then nod for them to follow me to the backyard. The three of us sit around the picnic table; Drake and I covered in blood and beat to hell.
I look at all of them. They are my family, the same people who were handed the same shitty deal, yet they didn’t choose the path I did. They chose to rise above what Sulfur Heights creates, to become successful members of society. They carved their own niche in this godforsaken town and made it a place of happiness while I was sucked into the seedy underbelly of Sulfur Heights the moment I allowed my inner hate to take control of me. Yet, when I look to my brothers then think of Cami and my son, I want to have what they have. I want to be normal. I decide this is the moment I need to tell them what really happened to the brother they used to know. It’s the moment I come clean and start anew.
Drake looks to me, deflated. The emotional roller coaster
he’s been riding from the day Presley died is killing him—I am killing him—and I can tell when I look into his empty yet pain-filled eyes.
“I never wanted you to kill him. You didn’t have to kill Carter,” Drake says softly.
Here goes nothing. I clear my throat and start spewing the truth. It’s going to hurt and rip my brothers to fragments, but it’s time to get it out in the open. “Carter isn’t the first man I’ve killed.” They all snap their heads to me. Each one of them has a look of astonishment on their face. “I wasn’t the top of the food chain for the drugs, either. It was some brothers by the name of Ryker, and I was the Rykers assassin for the last year I was a part of their crew.”
“You mean Rykers, like in…Matt Ryker?” Reggie asks.
“How do you know him?” Jake turns to Reggie with a questioning look traced across his brow.
“Your father used to work with him, well, that’s what mom would say. Damn, Jeremy, that’s some heavy shit to be involved in. I’ve heard stories, but never in my wildest dream did I think you were working with him.” Reggie shakes his head trying to process my confession.
It is a lot to handle Lord knows I understand that. I’ve been dealing with Matt one way or another for almost a decade.
“Anyway, I was told what to do and to whom, no questions asked. I was basically a contract killer for the Rykers. I’d kill and they’d pay me for the job. It’s not all I did, but that’s what brought in the most money.”
They’re speechless.
“I’ve always had a pure hatred for this place. When I was a kid, I would think of ways to destroy the town of Sulfur Heights because it was a horrible place to live. It killed our mother and destroyed my father, and I wanted it all to burn. I guess all the agony over this place began to take its toll on me, so when Darcie was almost raped and Presley was kidnapped, I finally snapped. I wanted us to get out of here and never look back.” I look over to Reggie. He’s upset as he looks back to me.
“I needed to make money, and I saw how much Ronnie was bringing in from dealing on the streets. That’s how it all began. I didn’t have a thrill for the life was and I wasn’t trying to prove myself to any of you; I simply wanted us to get out.
“But the night I first killed wasn’t for Matt; it was for her.” I point over to Cami who is standing by my car, holding an ice pack on her head. “She was beat to hell by Zane Bradshaw and left to die in a gutter. The next time I saw him, he was following Cami, so I snapped his neck, making sure he would never hurt her again. What’s more, I remember this thrill I got from taking his life. He was one less asshole left on the streets to hurt innocent people. It almost seemed to justify killing him even more.
“And that’s what I continued to do, I justified it whenever Matt would send me on a job by telling myself I was killing worthless good-for-nothing assholes who deserved to die. Before I knew what was happening, I was becoming exactly like the men I’d killed.” I bow my head and remember the rush I got when I killed Zane. I wasn’t thinking about the repercussions. I was only thinking about him not hurting anyone again—especially Cami. “Anyway, Ronnie introduced me to the Rykers and that is where I met Carter.”
“Is that why you were always off with Ronnie and acting completely crazy?” Jake asks.
I nod my head. “Matt’s demands came at anytime, during the day or night. And Ronnie, Carter, and myself were who he relied on to do his dirty work. But when I found out about Carter and Presley, I finally snapped myself.” I look over to Drake and see he is intrigued to know more.
“What do you mean about Carter and Presley?” Drake’s voice is laced with rage.
“He was infatuated with her, Drake. I mean, obsessed with her. He spotted her one night at the races and had been stalking her ever since. He followed her wherever she went and then finally found the opportunity to speak to her. That’s why he got her hooked on heroin. He wanted Presley completely to himself and was basically brainwashing her into spending time with him. He preyed on her weakness, and once she’d tasted heroin, he knew he had her. As long as she was doped up, Presley was going to be his.”
Drake punches the table, trying to control his anger. “How did I not know this?”
“Because Carter was a sick, evil fuck and only the really crazy ones can do it for so long,” Reggie spouts between gritted teeth.
“The night Presley OD’d, I went to his apartment and we got into a fight. That’s where I found all of this out. He was planning something big, and I think he was going to kidnap her or worse. But I’m not entirely sure.” I shake my head, remembering Carter’s cold, evil eyes. He was unstable.
“Sometime before that, he had started working for the competitor, selling smack. When the Rykers found out, Carter went into hiding.” I look over to Jake and answer his question. “That’s why I finally snapped. I was trying to find him. I spent every waking hour I had looking for him and working with the Rykers.”
“What happened the night she was killed? Why were you with him?” Drake asks as he stares at the spot in the driveway where all this took place. It’s the very place where his life changed within the blink of an eye.
“He was getting ready to abduct Presley. I’m sure if it. I caught him lingering in the shadows. When you came out of the house, I was trying to lure him away so I could take him back the Rykers’ house and let them deal with him.”
At this point, Cami and the other girls walk to the backyard and sit next to us. Each of them has their arms around their respected man and each of them is providing comfort for the four men they love. I look to Cami then lean over and kiss her lips. I’m glad she didn’t get hurt when she fell. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if something worse happened to her.
“Carter attacked me,” Cami blurts out and my blood boils under my skin. “He knew I was Jeremy’s weakness and came for me after he shot Presley. He hurt me to send a message to him that he would be back. When Jeremy came to my father’s house later that night, he found out I had been attacked.”
“Who’s your father?” Darcie asks.
“Matt Ryker is my father, and Jeremy was in great danger once my dad found out about us. He was very protective of me—”
“What do you mean, was?” Reggie asks.
I look back to Cami then connect my eyes with all of my brothers. “After Cami was attacked, I wanted out. I was done killing, dealing, and living life in the underworld. However, it wasn’t that easy to get out. I had to pay Matt all of the money I had saved up to get our entire family out of Sulfur Heights, one hundred fifty thousand dollars. Then I had to go to prison.”
“What?” Jake asks, completely blown away.
“Matt has connections within the DA’s office, police station, FBI… You name it, he has someone in his pocket. That’s how he has been able to operate for so long. In order to get out and take Cami with me, I had to complete three tasks: pay him one hundred fifty thousand dollars, viciously kill Carter, and go to prison for an undisclosed amount of time. I was refused contact with anyone from the outside and could only send one letter during my stint.”
It’s like a light bulb has gone off as Jake connects all the pieces. He saw me pull the money from our safe, and he now knows why I refused to see him.
“I had to comply with all of his demands, and Matt Ryker made sure I’d follow through. One of his brothers became my cell mate, and they began to test me or tried to crack me, but I never waivered—not a single inch. I lived my life locked in the confines of Hell. I did this all to break free from the underworld.” I turn to Drake and stare down his black eyes. “I did this for you and for her. I wanted Cami to be released from his hold and to get out of Sulfur Heights for good.”
I continue to look at Drake. “I don’t expect you to forgive me and what I’ve done. I just want you to understand I was trying to save all of us. That’s the only reason I got started to begin with. I should have found Carter before he got to Presley, though; and for that, Drake, I am truly sorry.”
Maybe someday we’ll all find out.
I pull into the parking lot and see Jeremy leaning against the side of his car. He is flipping a small toy over and over in his hands, nervously waiting for what he’s about to do.
My man looks incredible sexy with his dark jeans, which are snug just enough in all the right places, and his large biceps straining against his plain white v-neck t-shirt. Jeremy’s body can only be described as magnificent. He doesn’t have overly huge, bulky muscles; they are just large enough to know not to mess with him. His chiseled jaw line is covered in a well-trimmed beard, but it’s the piercing brown eyes that have changed the most since Jeremy’s gone to prison.
They were always dark and menacing, though on very rare occasions, they would seem carefree. However, now his eyes are a vibrant, sparkling brown and always filled with the feeling only love can bring. Jeremy is finally feeling the love he’s deserved to have his entire life. And I’m glad I am one of a few people who can bring that life back into his eyes.
“Are you ready for this?” I ask him, seeing the panic in his eyes. I have never seen Jeremy so nervous. He’s faced evil on many occasions, survived prison, defied my father, and a major family battle, yet it’s the innocence of a three-year-old boy that scares him. It’s kind of funny, but I keep my humor to myself. Jeremy doesn’t need to be freaked out anymore than he already is.
It’s been three weeks since the Drake and Jeremy fight. He is healing both inside and out, and I can tell he is starting to find peace within himself. It’s not something that will happen overnight, but day by day and prayer by prayer Jeremy will slowly return to me.