All I Ever Wanted

by LuAnn McLane

  Grady finished his beer and then walked across the kitchen to gaze out of the bay window. He spotted his brothers sitting by the pool, deep in conversation. For a moment, he considered joining them, offering to fire up the grill, lighten the mood, but fatigue and an odd melancholy had him opting to head to his bathroom for a long, hot shower instead.

  As in many Florida homes, the layout of the sprawling ranch sectioned off one half of the house as the master suite, with three bedrooms on the opposite side of the living room in the center. Cathedral ceilings and sliding glass doors leading to a large lanai gave the house a bright, airy feeling. Grady had bumped out the master bedroom and enlarged the bathroom to include an open walk-in shower and a deep whirlpool tub. While almost nothing of his childhood décor remained the same, the spirit and the bones were there, and Grady felt comfort in knowing the house remained in the family.

  Grady groaned when the hot spray pelted his back, easing the ache in his sore muscles. He’d thought he was in pretty damned good shape, working out on a regular basis, keeping his weight down, and going for early-morning runs, but this Heartbeat choreography was kicking his ass big-time. He supposed the redundancy, the stress of trying to do the fast moves they’d pulled off as teenagers, didn’t help matters. Jimmy was right in that they didn’t need to perfect the routine, but perfection was what had driven Heartbeat to the top of the charts and he didn’t know any other way to practice. Modification would help, but modification meant new choreography. Damn.

  Grady turned around and lifted his face to the hot spray, letting the water slide over his skin. Reaching for the soap, he inhaled the spicy scent, glad to wash away the sweat. For the last few weeks, he’d let his dark hair grow longer, much like the shaggy layers that had been his signature style back in the Heartbeat glory days. Devin, a mastermind at managing a boy band, had always wanted the fans to know Heartbeat as brothers but also as individuals, so that they could have a favorite poster to hang on their bedroom wall. Grady had been known as the broody bad boy, and although most of the early tabloid stories were mostly hype, the fans bought into the image and Devin wanted it that way. Devin pegged Jimmy as the mysterious Heart brother, and with his long hair and soulful brown eyes, he made girls want to know more, but he kept to himself, preferring to avoid the limelight when he could. Jesse won girls over with his sandy-blond surfer-boy looks and his easygoing charm.

  Grady had to shake his head as he soaped his chest. Oh, but damn, Oliver might have been the youngest, but his swagger and his hotter-than-hellfire good looks drove girls wild and he sure knew it.

  Devin hadn’t been too happy about Grady’s romance with Arabella. Fans wanted to fantasize about the brothers, and having Arabella capture the famous bad boy’s heart wasn’t something he wanted made public. Looking back, the secrecy had added to the affair’s allure but it hadn’t been long before the paparazzi caught a steamy kiss on camera.

  Grady had thought that after his romance with Arabella became public the girls would back off, but they seemed to become more determined to grab a piece of him. When Arabella received hate mail, Grady was furious. If anything had happened to her . . . Ah, damn, he couldn’t have handled it.

  He squirted some shampoo into his hand and lathered up his hair. Paparazzi had dogged them and done crazy things to get snapshots of him and Arabella. Rumors had made tabloid headlines, making their romance difficult, but in some ways it had made Grady love her even more for what she had to put up with.

  From the beginning, the sex was amazing. Arabella seemed to know his body like she had some sort of sexual GPS connected to his every single pleasure point. She was uninhibited, playful, sensual. . . . No relationship had come close to offering the intimate connection that they’d shared. Grady groaned when his body reacted to the memories.

  Was it the same for Arabella? Did she ever think of him? Regret leaving? Had she ever really loved him?

  He would probably never know.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CAKE BY THE OCEAN

  Arabella’s hands trembled so much that she had to squeeze the steering wheel or risk wrecking the rental car. Her stomach churned and her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. Flight was winning with flying colors, so she did a U-turn, not caring if she received a traffic ticket. Siri became seriously pissed and demanded that she make another, legal U-turn this time. “No!” Arabella shouted at her cell phone, but Siri persisted in that damned calm tone of hers.

  After several angry horn honks at her helter-skelter driving, Arabella pulled over to the side of the road. She sat there, hands still on the wheel, trying to keep from having an anxiety attack. Heart thumping, light-headed, she cursed herself for not stopping for lunch. “Why again am I doing this?” she whispered. “Right, I’m broke. Maxine is a nightmare. So here I sit. Ugh.”

  The decision to come to Sea Breeze, Florida, to do the choreography for the Heartbeat reunion had taken a full week of weighing pros and cons. But when the persistent Oliver Heart upped the already generous offer, Arabella knew she had to take the job or kick herself in the butt forever. Plus, leaving LA meant she could sublet her apartment that was too expensive anyway due to her current lack of cash flow. Free accommodations in a gorgeous house overlooking the Atlantic Ocean for nearly three months and being able to hold off Maxine’s involvement with Hip, Hop, Health tipped the scales. Arabella’s small corporate staff could oversee the ten fitness studios, and she’d let them know she could be reached day or night for any reason. Plus, her trusted friend Jenna Clark was more than capable of running the show. While Arabella loved the creative end of the business, Jenna was a wiz with the numbers, and she’d been especially helpful after Arabella’s blunder in growing the business too fast.

  In a perfect world, she’d ultimately planned to leave the business side to her staff anyway, giving her the time to choreograph more fun, innovative dance routines, do some traveling, and create time to enjoy a social life.

  But the cons sucked.

  Arabella rested her forehead atop the steering wheel and tried to hold herself together. She hated confrontation . . . and this one was going to take the damned cake. Working with the man who had broken her heart and wrecked her life wasn’t going to be easy. When she’d asked Oliver if Grady knew she was being offered the job, Oliver had dodged the question by saying, “We talked at length about your involvement. We need you to modify the old routines. We’re all in pretty good shape but we can’t quite cut some of the more complicated moves.” To Arabella, Oliver’s statement translated to: We argued and never came to an agreement.

  They had to be desperate. Unfortunately, so was she.

  When she’d walked in on Grady and the groupie over thirteen years ago, her world had stopped spinning. Trust wasn’t something she gave easily, and the betrayal had hurt her to the core. She couldn’t even begin to take his calls or even listen to voice messages, and so she deleted each one. Blocked him on social media. Cut her ties completely.

  “Oh boy . . .” Being able to work with Grady was going to test her professionalism to the limit. But another reason she’d taken the job was to raise money for the Susan Heart Lupus Foundation. Arabella had adored Susan, who was such a mother hen but could enjoy a good laugh with her kids too. Arabella had been on a job in London when she’d heard the horrible news of Susan’s passing and she’d been regrettably unable to attend the funeral. She still couldn’t quite wrap her brain around the realization that lovely, vibrant Susan was gone and couldn’t imagine the pain the Hearts had suffered. She’d sent her condolences and made a generous donation to the foundation, but she’d wanted to call Grady so badly—if only she could have done it without opening that closed door.

  Swallowing hard, she thought of her own mother’s simple request that she come home for the holidays and felt a sudden longing for her mom’s hug. Grady’s betrayal had put a wall around her heart that had her shutting people out, but how could she get
past something that still hurt so much? Maybe if she went back to her roots she’d find the missing piece to the puzzle of her life. She knew one thing. She wasn’t about to let her grandmother’s house be sold to a stranger.

  Great, add that one to my growing impossible-to-do list. Why does everything require money?

  “Okay. Enough.” After releasing her death grip on the steering wheel, Arabella inhaled a deep breath and blew it out. Leaning back against the cool leather seat, she sat there, motionless except for the tremble of her cold fingers. “Stop it,” she said to her hands, and mustered up the courage to pull back onto the road. After a few more miles her heart rate slowed a little bit. She knew she had to walk up to Grady’s front door and ring the bell with confidence, and, according to her pissed-off Siri, she was nearly there. “Great,” she muttered as she slowed her speed to the point where a turtle could have passed her. Horns honked again.

  Because the Heart brothers were already living in LA when she was initially hired as their choreographer, Arabella had only been to the Florida residence a few times, after she and Grady were officially a couple. She remembered a rambling ranch filled with love, laughter, and memories of a father the boys adored. They talked about him often, relaying stories and life moments that made Arabella envious of their storybook childhood.

  Judging by what she’d discovered on the internet, Sea Breeze remained a quaint oceanside town that had changed very little over the years. It was located in the upper east tip of Florida, where the summers were hot and the winters were on the cool side, but the weather was mild compared to the Midwest, where Arabella had grown up. California hadn’t fit the lifestyle she’d envisioned and, in truth, the little town of Sea Breeze could be the soothing tonic that she needed, if only for a short while. Just saying the name had a calming effect. There was only one problem.

  Grady Heart.

  Arabella groaned. She’d tried to avoid following any part of Grady’s life, but his handsome mug always seemed to be staring back at her from the supermarket tabloids. She’d look away and then glance back with her fingers itching to pick up the paper for a look, but she resisted—well, most of the time, anyway. If any of the tales were true, he’d sure moved on from her absence quickly, and without an ounce of regret. The sensible part of her brain said that the tabloid stories were mostly fabricated. She knew this from personal experience. How many times had the media splashed headlines saying she and Grady were fighting, getting married, breaking up . . . having a baby?

  Arabella felt a fresh prickle of pain and had to steel herself against sliding into memories that haunted her when she least expected it. “How in the hell am I going to pull this off?” she whispered, hanging on to the steering wheel like it was a lifeline.

  Of course, after the groupie incident she’d ignored Grady’s calls and his attempts to contact her, but how could she not? Saying he was sorry couldn’t begin to cut through the pain he’d caused, but her biggest fear was that she would be persuaded to go back to him, and there was no way she was going to live the life of angry distrust her parents had led. Trust was the foundation of any good relationship.

  She’d thought that when Grady said he loved her he would be faithful. “Well, I guess Mom thought the same thing too,” she mumbled.

  Siri responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.”

  Arabella managed a weak chuckle but then glanced at her phone. She hadn’t realized she’d held down the home button a moment too long. Sometimes Siri kinda freaked her out.

  “Okay . . .” Arabella realized she couldn’t go much slower, and the urge to turn around tugged at her hands. “Fake it till you make it, girl,” she said firmly, but then she jumped when a loud pickup truck passed her with an angry honk.

  Arabella knew that, unlike her, the Heart brothers had had an amazing childhood. Life could be so damned unpredictable, with the cruelest heartaches trapped inside of the biggest blessings, leaving you unable to have one without the other. Granny York used to tell her that blessings could come in disguise. Granny had hated that her son Patrick’s marriage had fallen to pieces and had blamed him, not speaking to her son for nearly a year after his divorce. Oddly, it was Arabella’s mother who’d encouraged Granny York to forgive her son and move on. “I’d do it again even knowing the outcome,” her mother said to Granny one afternoon, “just to have Arabella. What would we do without our Bella?” she’d asked, and Granny York had tearfully agreed.

  Well, Arabella wished that, just once, the next blessing-in-disguise would out itself from the get-go. She imagined the blessing would say in a polite English accent, “Hello, I know this appears to be, shall we say, a bit of a sketchy situation right now, but not to worry. You’ll thank me later. I just chose to be in disguise.”

  After swallowing hard, Arabella finally sat up and put the sedan in drive. “Okay, Siri, let’s do this thing.”

  Trying to keep her mind off the fact that she was heading to Grady Heart’s house, Arabella took in the local sights. Main Street remained just as cozy and quaint as the pictures on the website promised. People strolled rather than walked at the fast pace of the city, where everyone seemed to be in a perpetual hurry. Colorful flowers draped over huge terra-cotta pots lining the wide sidewalks. A variety of storefronts displayed everything from antiques to toys. She passed Daisy’s Diner, Scoops ice cream parlor, A Taste of Heaven candy store, and the Twisted pretzel shop, all reminding her that she hadn’t eaten, and her stomach responded.

  “Yes!” Arabella stopped when she spotted a giant pink cupcake with THELMA’S SWEET TREATS scripted across the top. Surely, they sold sugar cookies. Hopefully, they also had coffee. Yes! There was a parking spot in front of the shop. “Okay, I can do this,” she mumbled as she craned her head over the back seat to parallel park. On her second attempt, she finally managed to get close enough to the curb.

  Glad to have found a reason to delay her arrival at Grady’s house, she opened the car door and stepped into the balmy Florida breeze. After fishing out a quarter for the old-fashioned parking meter, she headed to the cheerful-looking bakery.

  A tinkle of a bell over the door announced her arrival. “Well, hello there, welcome to Thelma’s!” A rosy-cheeked, elderly woman looked up from a tray of perfectly crowned muffins and smiled.

  “Are you Thelma?”

  “The one and only, and I’m told they broke the mold after me. What can I get you today?”

  “Mmmm . . .” Smiling back, Arabella inhaled the sweet, buttery scent mixed with the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee. “Let’s see. . . .” She peered at the shiny glass case filled with delicious-looking pastries. “Everything looks amazing.” Her stomach rumbled in anticipation of finally being fed. “Do you have any sugar cookies?”

  “We sure do, and they absolutely melt in your mouth.” Thelma pointed to the opposite side of the bakery. “The cookies are over there.” She dusted her hands on her apron and hurried over to the cookie counter.

  “Wow.” Arabella looked at the wide variety of cookies, from chocolate chip to macaroons, but nothing could tempt her away from a good old sugar cookie. “I’ll take two sugar cookies and a large coffee with cream and sugar.”

  “Coming right up.” The sweet little lady slipped the cookies into a white paper bag and put it on the counter while she poured the coffee. “In town for business or pleasure?”

  “Business,” Arabella said, but the world pleasure had her thinking about Grady in a way she needed to steer clear of. She pulled a ten-dollar bill out of her wallet.

  “Well, I hope you get time to see some of the sights. The beach here is spectacular, and right now the ocean is as warm as bathwater.”

  “Thanks, I plan to head to the beach as soon as I can break away from work.” Arabella took the change but then spotted a big glass jar with SUSAN HEART LUPUS FOUNDATION written on the side. A sharp pang of sadness gripped her. She put her change in he
r wallet, took out a twenty-dollar bill, and stuffed it into the jar.

  “Bless you, sweetie. Susan Heart was an icon in this town. We sure do miss her. Thanks so much for the donation.”

  Clearing her throat, Arabella nodded. “You’re welcome.” She remembered Susan’s warm smile and easy laugh, and in that moment, she knew that no matter how difficult facing Grady Heart was going to be, she was doing the right thing by coming here.

  “Have you heard of the boy band Heartbeat?” Thelma asked with a touch of pride in her voice.

  “I have.”

  “They’re from right here in Sea Breeze. Susan was their mother,” she added with a sad smile. “I remember when she used to come in here with all those boys in tow. They were a handful! And twins? Don’t know how she did it. Cute as buttons, though.” She waved a hand through the air. “Sorry, I get emotional thinking about it.”

  Arabella nodded. “It’s okay. I understand.”

  “Ah, well, hope you enjoy your cookies and your stay here in Sea Breeze. Come back and see me soon.”

  Arabella raised her cup of coffee in salute. “You can count on it,” she said. After leaving the bakery, she opted to sit on a shaded park bench to sip her coffee and munch on one of the cookies. The sweet, buttery taste made her think of her granny, and she calmed down just a little bit. She people-watched, feeling a touch of envy at the laughter, the hum of conversation . . . lovers walking hand in hand.

  “Mommy, can we get a treat?” A cute little blond girl, about the age of three, looked at her mother with pleading eyes as they reached the entrance of the bakery.