Not Pizza Club

by Den Warren

  “No! Not at work!”

  Steve said, “I don’t really care if you are holding out on your old man. What me and Brittany do is our business. And I know that Julie reported me. It’s none of her damn business. She’s just jealous.”

  Abigail said, “Here’s the problem, Steve. It is considered sexual harassment even if you both consent but someone else sees it and is offended.”

  Steve said, “She’s a liar. She’s not offended. She’s just jealous. She should be wrote up for watching. Half the time her shirt is unbuttoned most of the way down. She watches me when she bends over. I think she is trying to make her boobs come out while she is working. I ain’t stupid you know, and I gotta look, and she know it.”

  Abigail shook her head and said, “I’m not going to keep telling you the same thing over and over. You can not be showing or touching inappropriately. That’s the law Steve. This Company is not going to get into trouble just because you want to be the alpha male up on the platform. You guys have to totally knock it off.”

  Alfredo said, “We aren’t paying you to be up on the platform playing grab ass anyhow. You are supposed to be running production.”

  Steve said, “This is stupid, I make rate all of the time and you know it. You are just jealous too.”

  Abigail said, “This is the second talk we have had with you. You are getting written up for it. Don’t let it happen again, or there will be other consequences up to and including termination.” Abigail handed Steve the write up.

  “I’m not signing it.”

  Abigail said, “Fine, I’ll just write on here that you refused to sign. Alfredo is my witness. We’ll get back with you if we decide to go for insubordination on failing to sign. All your signature does is indicate that you were told, not that you agree with everything, although you need to.”

  “Oh give me your stupid paper!” He pressed so hard writing his signature that the pen sounded like it was scratching the table.

  “That’s all, for now, Steve,” Abigail said.

  After Steve left, Alfredo told Abigail, “I don’t want to lose that guy. That crew up on the platform are my best performers. If they would just cool it a little.”

  Abigail said, “Maybe we need to install a fire hose or something.”

  Alfredo asked, “What do we do about Brittany?”

  Abigail said, “We ought to be able to get by with her being the victim.”

  *******

  Olivia and Seth each left their cubicles and happened to meet at the copier.

  Seth said, “Hey Olivia, I hear you are going for the Accounting Manager’s job.”

  “Um . . . yes, I am.”

  “Me too. One thing for sure, it will sure be different around here without Loretta.”

  Olivia said, “Not for me.”

  “Huh?”

  “Well, I just got here, you know. So I don’t have much to compare it with.”

  “Oh, gotcha.” He chuckled. “See ya around.”

  Chapter 4

  It was a little overcast on Saturday. Olivia thought it would be a good day for jogging outside of her small apartment, which she sometimes did as an alternative to her usual yoga or aerobics routine.

  She got went around the corner and ran on the walk parallel to a busy street. She saw Loretta’s sports car coming from the opposite direction. That car, whatever it was, was the only one like it in town, maybe even in the state. Did Loretta spend all that cash on that car because it was her retirement toy? Or maybe it was some sort of status symbol intended to make her look less nerdy.

  “What the?! Huh?!” Olivia said audibly as she saw the flashy black car pass. She had to force herself to keep jogging in case anyone in the car saw her. She had to act as if she didn’t notice. She had to replay what she saw in her head. No, she wasn’t mistaken. That hot luxury sports car was being driven by . . . Seth! Loretta was probably thirty years his senior. Here was Seth, the hottest guy at the Company, driving Loretta around in her retiring boss’s sports car, like some sort of . . . gold digger! There was no way in the world that she could compete for the job. The whole thing was rigged! Olivia walked back to her apartment, trying to consider what her options would be. After all, she was friends with the entire Human Resources staff. They would know what to do if she had an ethical complaint.

  All day long Olivia agonized over whether to say anything about Seth and Loretta. What if no one believed her? Who would she tell? Would she come across as the new Company troublemaker? She would probably just look like some kind of person who made up stories about people to get her own way. Olivia could say something to Ethan, who seemed to be looking for ways to get closer to her, but was that really worth getting more involved with him, given that she was not that interested in him? Maybe there was some sort of practical explanation as to why Seth and Loretta would be riding around together in her car. Oh sure. Like that would be real normal. Even if it were true, what could she do about it? She remembered that Ethan told her already that there was no non-fraternization policy at TechCorpEx.

  Just in case, Olivia went online and started looking to see what jobs were out there. Maybe TechCorpEx did not deserve her loyalty. She could not picture herself working for someone like Seth after he got the promotion now.

  She looked through all of the many jobs that either didn’t pay well, or she didn’t know anything about. She saw a posting; DANCERS. Seeing that job posting had an impact on Olivia. She knew she was good enough that she could land the job easily. She wished that she could take the job, but it wouldn’t provide any security. The ad made her curious and disappointed, at the same time. She saved the information, even though she knew it would be unlikely that she would ever call the number. But what if she started out there and some other high profile dance troupe saw how wonderful she was? What if she met a male dancer with a fabulous sculpted build? Or she could spend her youth behind a computer crunching numbers working for an inept boss who got the job over her by playing the system. What the heck. She called the number and left a message.

  *******

  As was often the case, after a weekend of production, there was a backlog of issues with the production line associates to deal with. One of the many messages Abigail had on her phone was from Alfredo that Brittany had said she was going to quit, and he didn’t want to lose her. She wouldn’t tell Alfredo why, but Alfredo got Brittany to at least agree she would leave a two week notice before she walked out the door. Sometimes the two would at least give them a chance to talk it over and maybe things would calm down when things were overly dramatic.

  Brittany was in the meeting room with Abigail and Alfredo. She was teary eyed and shaking.

  Abigail handed Brittany a tissue. “So what happened Saturday night, Brittany?”

  She shook her head.

  Abigail said, “Alfredo, why don’t you give us a minute to talk alone.”

  Alfredo shook his head a little and got up.

  Abigail asked, “Brittany, you’ve been here a long time and been through a lot. Why would you just throw it all away over something that happened on one night?”

  “It’s Steve.”

  “I knew it! Did he sexually harass you?!”

  Brittany wiped her nose and shook her head.

  “What? You will be better off just to get it out, Brittany.”

  “They said that Steve was in Julie’s car at lunch time boning her.”

  “Huh? You mean, they were in Julie’s car doing sexual acts?”

  “She nodded her head.”

  Abigail sighed. Then she wondered what she could do to fix all of this. “Would it help if we put you in a different part of the plant?”

  Brittany looked angry and said, “Why should I move? That bastard is the one who should move. I hate him.”

  Abigail sighed. She knew this would not be easily resolved without losing some key people. “Brittany, I’m sorry this happened
to you, but this is not the Company’s fault, and we have no real proof of any sexual harassment. We can find you a nice spot in the plant away from Steve and Julie, if you want.”

  Brittany sniffed. “Everyone is going to know that I got moved because of what happened. It is like you are making Steve the king of the platform and he can get rid of whoever he doesn’t want up there anymore.”

  Abigail said, “It’s not like that, Brittany. People like Steve always end up with the problems.”

  “Fine,” Brittany said, “Move me to assembly.”

  “We’ll see what we can do.”

  Chapter 5

  On the next Monday, Olivia was called into the office. Loretta, her boss, and Abigail, the human resources manager, were seated at a table.

  Abigail said, “Olivia, we want to discuss with you the position of Accounting Manager. So we will be asking you some questions.”

  “Fine.”

  Abigail was reading from a form on the table and asked, “What attracted you to apply for the position?”

  “You did.”

  Abigail paused and said, “You want me to put that down here?”

  “You and Ava and Ethan told me about it the day I started. It seemed a little sudden. It was not really my idea. What else can I say?”

  Loretta looked at Abigail.

  Abigail said, “Okay, never mind. That’s fine. Next question, ‘What makes you think you would be good for the job?”

  “I’ve got a great education and I can handle the system. I’m probably the most tech savvy of anyone in the Department. But I know I really don’t have much of a chance to get the job, so . . . “

  Abigail asked, “Why would you say that?”

  Olivia said, “Loretta knows.”

  Loretta said, “I do?”

  Olivia said, “I don’t want to get into all that right now. What else you got?”

  There was a long pause after Olivia’s abrupt comment that made it seem like she didn’t want to be at the interview. Then Abigail asked, “Have you ever had to make a deadline? If so, give me an example.”

  Olivia answered, “I know you won’t think it counts, but when you are in school, you have to make deadlines with simulated reports.”

  Loretta said, “Yeah, that’s a good answer.”

  Olivia put on a plastic smile for Loretta which amounted to a sneer. Then she said, “You know I really appreciate the opportunity to interview for this job. I really like how as a woman I can move up in this Company in a fair way without having sex with the boss.”

  Loretta and Abigail’s jaws dropped open. Their eyes shifted from side to side.

  Abigail said, “Okay. One more question. If one of your people came to you with a problem, how would you handle it?”

  “I wouldn’t try to seduce them. I like to keep my private life separate from work.”

  Abigail asked, “That’s your answer?”

  Olivia said, “Well, I know it may not be consistent with TechCorpEx policy, but yes.”

  Abigail said, “Okay, Olivia. That’s all I have. Tomorrow we want to give you a test.”

  *******

  Tuesday, Olivia was told by Loretta that she would have to report to Administration to take the test. At the appointed time, she arrived at Human Resources and saw Seth was also there. All she could think about was Seth driving Loretta around in her new luxury sports car. It was difficult to picture what was going on in the car, or at Loretta’s apartment. How was such a thing even possible? It seemed like there was no limit to what a man would do for their own gratification or advancement. So Seth probably did enjoy it. She could feel her seething rage at how Seth was manipulating the whole thing just to get the job. Olivia really didn’t want the job that badly, but she sure didn’t want to work for a twisted manipulator like Seth.

  Ava, the exuberant blonde human resources assistant took Seth and Olivia to a room to take the test. Ava said, “This test isn’t timed or anything, but it tests your supervisory skills. Just answer it like you think it should be answered.”

  Olivia spoke up, “Is there anything about what you should do if one of your workers tries to have sex with you?”

  Ava was taken aback by the question. “I . . . I never really . . .”

  Olivia said, “That is what some people do, you know. They use their bodies like a prostitute to try and get the job. Right Seth?”

  Seth said, “Yeah, I guess they do.”

  Olivia said, “What do you mean, ‘guess they do’? Don’t you know?”

  Ava and Seth looked at Olivia. They never would have expected her to talk like she was.

  Ava asked Olivia, “Are we okay to take the test now?”

  “Sure,” Olivia said. “I’m not sure it means anything whether I do well or not, right Seth? Everyone knows who is going to be the next boss.”

  Seth said, “I’m going to do my best. I might do okay on it. You don’t have it locked up, you know.”

  “Oh, that’s real clever, Seth. Playing like you have no chance.” Olivia said, each comment being more hostile than the last. “Sure! I’ll take the test! Maybe there’ll be a question about banging your boss in her sports car!” Then she stared at Seth and raised her eyebrows.

  Seth said, “Let’s just take the test, okay?”

  Ava left the room and shut the door.

  Olivia said, “Seth, let’s just get everything out in the open, okay?”

  Seth said, “If you have a problem with me, we can discuss it after the test. I suggest you keep your psychological warfare to yourself.”

  “Sure! Whatever you say, boss!”

  Seth sighed and said, “You are not making any sense. First you say you are going to be the boss. Then you say I am going to be the boss. And you are acting all mad about it. If you can’t handle the stress, you shouldn’t even be applying for the job.”

  Olivia said, “You’d like that, if I dropped out, wouldn’t you?! I never said I was going to be the boss, tool boy!”

  Seth said, “You’re out of line! You want me to report you for sexual harassment?!”

  Olivia said, “Why?! It’s harassment if I am the one saying it. I bet if I was the boss it would be okay!”

  Seth shook his head and asked, “So if you become the boss, you are going to sexually harass me?”

  “Fine, Seth. We can play that game if you want. You and I both know the truth.”

  “Well, I admit I have looked at you sometimes. I mean, I didn’t know it bothered you. But I have always been a gentleman, so there is no need to get crazy about it.”

  “What?! No! You don’t think it is gross that a young guy and an old woman are . . . you know! And besides, I would never share myself with an old woman.”

  Seth said, “No . . . I really don’t know. If you are gay, that is none of my concern. I only want to take this test.”

  “Huh?!” Olivia shook her head and tried to focus on the test. Seth was certainly a smooth operator. Seth was just the kind of discreet boy toy that a woman like Loretta would want on the side.

  Ava opened the door and stuck her head in. “Is everything okay here?”

  Olivia said, “Oh, we are just in here talking about having sex.”

  “Really?” Ava asked. “Maybe you better not do that, okay? I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” She closed the door slowly while watching them.

  Olivia had a hard time focusing after the agitation with Seth. A lot of the multiple choice answers on the test sounded the same. It was very difficult. The test answers didn’t make much more sense than the conversation with Seth. She heard Seth flipping pages back and forth like he was also having problems with the test. She was surprised that he was trying so hard at it when the outcome was a foregone conclusion.

  *******

  On Wednesday, Olivia got a call from the Not Pizza Club. They wanted her to come down to audition as a dancer. The pay range they were offering was a
lot more than she expected. She thought to herself, Not Pizza Club? What’s up with that name?

  *******

  On Thursday, Olivia put on her dance tights and drove across town to the Not Pizza Club. It seemed like it was in the low rent section. She pulled up to the place and saw it. It was clear that it was originally an old Pizza Shack building, hence the name.

  Inside it was dark and smelled musty. There was clinking of glasses as a bar tender was cleaning up. The bar tender shouted, “Lenny! Your act is here!”

  A guy in his forties covered with tattoos up and down his arms and pouring out of his plain white t-shirt up and going up his neck. He had piercings and a short beard on his chin. He shook Olivia’s hand and said, “I’m Lenny. Thanks for showing up. You’ll do just fine.”

  “You don’t need to see me dance?”

  “Nah, just bring some music Saturday night. You can be the opening act. You’re on at nine. The clients will like you real well, I know.” Then he told her how much she would be getting.

  “Um. . . Okay, Mr. Lenny.” Olivia couldn’t believe how easy it was, and how much she would be getting. It was kind of ironic that she had two job interviews in the same day for two completely different things. One seemed pointless, and the other seemed amazing.

  Chapter 6

  On Friday Ethan saw Olivia in the lunch room. He went up to her table and asked, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks,” he said as he sat down. “I hear you had your interview.”

  Olivia chuckled a little. “Yeah. Did Abigail and Loretta send you over here to spy on me or something?”

  Ethan said, “We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want.”

  “What else do you want to talk about?”

  Ethan said , “Something positive.”

  “I am positive about one thing. TechCorpEx is ran by a bunch of cronies.”

  Ethan said, “How did you come to that conclusion already. You just got here.”

  “Let’s just say that I’ve seen some things.”

  “Okay. You want to talk about it?”

  “Not really. It is what it is.”

  “So . . . how about going out to see a movie tomorrow night?”

  “Sorry, I’m busy.”

  Ethan looked dejected.

  Olivia noticed his countenance. “No, really. I’m busy. I got a dancing gig tomorrow night.”