Lucy at Peace

by Mary E. Twomey

  I cringed and shoved the hot dog into Jens’s hand as I sat between him and Grayson. “That’s how sports work, Grayson, not necessarily all of life. You enjoying the game?”

  “I am.” His fingers were casually on his stomach, but I was a ball of nerves even after my short break from him. “Did you call your ex-husband while you were away?”

  I bristled, my cheeks turning pink. “Foss is my friend, and my responsibility. He’s in my world, so I look out for him.” I took a sip of my drink. “But no, I didn’t call him.”

  “Again, that protection you have for him,” Grayson remarked, his bland smile making me want to punch him once, good and hard.

  Jamie felt my anger flare up and leaned forward to address the issue. “Elsa, would you mind whistling your friend a new personality? He’s grating on Lucy, which means I’m getting the backlash of her annoying yammering.”

  “Jamie!” Britta scolded him.

  Leif signed to Grayson to cool it.

  I frowned at Jamie calling me being grilled as me “yammering”. I noticed Jens’s unperturbed reaction to me being under friendly interrogation. Or perhaps it was the aviator glasses masking the fuming. I hoped it was the latter.

  The silence lasted until my second swallow from my foam cup. “Do you often do that, Jamie? Come to her aid?”

  Jamie scoffed. “If she would shut her loud mouth, she wouldn’t need so much assistance. So yes, she needs plenty. It’s a chore being laplanded to someone so young and foolish.”

  I stood, my indignation in full swagger mode. “You want to take this to the parking lot, son?” I challenged with probably too much inner city swagger, angry at the attack from someone I viewed as an older brother.

  “Let me guess, you’re going to run your mouth some more?” Jamie complained, rolling his eyes at me.

  Jens took his glasses off and stared at his friend. “What’s your deal today? You love Lucy. You’ve never been this terrible to Britta. What’s gotten into you?” It wasn’t an accusation, but an honest question.

  “Seems to me you fill the void of family in each other’s lives,” Grayson remarked, clearly a glutton for punishment. “All five of you without parents. It’s no wonder you cling so hard to each other, despite the obvious dysfunction.” He pointed to me on that last note, and I began to plan his inevitable demise.

  I waved my hand to the scoreboard, suddenly losing interest in being present. “I’m calling it. We lose by four. Anyone else ready to head home and beat the traffic?”

  Jamie stood, happy to distance himself from Grayson, if only for a little while. We only had the car ride home, but the half hour lured me in as if it was a three-day vacation. It was Britta’s sweet voice that lowered Jens back to his seat. “But we still have more of the game left. Two innings, right, Jens? It’s possible we could still win.”

  “Very possible. Kick back, Loos. Grayson’s just getting to know us. It’s normal he’d have questions. We’re a weird group.” His strong arm went around my back, seducing me to stay longer.

  I’d wanted to see the whole game. I just didn’t want to do it sitting with Twenty-Questions and Prince PMS. “Alright. Leif,” I motioned to the man sitting two seats down from me. “You want anything? On me. Elsa?”

  “Didn’t you just get back?” Elsa asked, calling me out on my obvious running away. I was usually better at sneaking out of conversations I didn’t want to have, but Grayson was determined.

  “I’ve got energy. What do you want? Are you hungry at all?”

  We’re fine, Leif said, using simple signs so I understood him. Have a seat and enjoy the game.

  “Do you often find reasons to leave when you’re uncomfortable?” Grayson inquired. “Given your childhood, it makes sense you’d be hardwired for flight.”

  “Dude, back off!” I barked, letting go of my last ounce of decorum. It was the fiftieth push that sent me over the edge. “If I wanted to talk about my childhood, I’d get myself a shrink.” No sooner had I said the words than the oddities began to make sense. Elsa and Leif bringing a third wheel with cold hands. His practiced questions that came no doubt from years of schooling. “That… That’s what this is!” I stood and jabbed my finger at Grayson in accusation, announcing his heinous crime. “You’re a therapist!”

  It was Jens’s hand on mine that surprised me, his tone one of calming a jumper. “Hun, just sit back down. It’s alright. Yes, Grayson’s a therapist. He can’t just turn it off. It’s fine. It’s all fine.”

  “You’re in on this… whatever this is!” I scowled, tearing my hand from Jens in disgust. “I’m out of here.” I climbed over the others and made my way to the stairwell, praying Jamie would follow so I could actually flee the scene.

  Jens followed me into the vendor area, despite my attempts to dodge him. The seventh inning stretchers were making their way back to their seats when Jens touched my arm in the corridor. “Loos, don’t be mad. It was coming from a good place.”

  I whirled around on him with my finger in his face to properly scold the six-and-a-half-foot-tall man. “I don’t need a shrink. I don’t need to talk anything out. I’m fine! I’ll go see a therapist in five years on my terms, not yours! I’ve said it a million times.”

  “You mean four years, right? You said you’d go see one way back when we were in Undraland. We’re right about at the year mark, so you meant four years.”

  I postured at his argument of semantics. “Four years. Sure.” As soon as I conceded to four years left on the clock, my neck began to itch and I started sweating. “But not at a baseball game, and definitely not today! How dare you go behind my back and plot with a Huldra against me!”

  Jens rolled his eyes, his attitude flaring up. “Yeah, that’s what we’re doing. We’re plotting secretly in the dark of night to bring mental health right to your front door. How evil! Ready the battlements.” He crossed his arms over his chest, creasing the navy blue t-shirt that hugged him in distracting places.

  I would not be distracted. I would not be distracted.

  “I can take care of myself. I’m not a child, Jens. I don’t need a shrink forcing medicine down my throat when I clearly don’t want it.”

  Jens threw his arms out. “But you need it! You need this medicine! You told us the bare bones about what happened in Limbo, and then you shut down completely whenever we try to bring it up. Your account barely has enough details to make sense! I’m still not even sure how Alrik died!”

  “I’m not trying to hear that!” I spat back, my voice shrill. “What’s the point of talking about it? Maybe you need closure or whatever, but I don’t! I’m fine.”

  “Clearly. You know, everyone who shouts that they’re fine is totally balanced.”

  I stepped back and took a deep breath, lowering my voice, lest I throttle him where he stood. “Honey, I’ll see a shrink in four years. Until then, trust me that I’m fine. Am I crazy with mood swings?”

  “No, but…”

  “Am I lying in bed all day, too depressed to move?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Then let me handle me.” I motioned to his chiseled form. “You handle yourself. If you need a shrink, there’s a pretty zealous one right down there in the stands. Help yourself.”

  Jens took off his sunglasses and placed his hands on my shoulders, arresting my attention from our fight as he zeroed in on me with his emerald orbs. “I want to talk to you about it all, but you can’t stay in the conversation past the ten-second mark. I don’t want a relationship where there are certain topics that are off-limits.”

  I ground my teeth together. “We can talk about all sorts of things. I don’t want to talk about Limbo, and I don’t need to. And why would you need to talk about Limbo? You didn’t have to go through it!”

  Jens gave me that pitying look I despised, and my anger flared up beyond a tolerable level. “We can’t talk about Limbo, Nik, Tor, Alrik, Char–” He shook his head. “There’s a lot we can’t talk about. You change the subject wheneve
r anyone brings up Linus or your parents. You practically run away when I bring up anything that happened in Undraland, and forget about discussing Foss. You shut down completely!”

  I shook his hands off me. “I’m leaving. You can take a cab home if you keep this up.” I turned inward and barked probably too forcefully. Jamie! We’re leaving. Grab Britt, and let’s motor.

  First sensible thing you’ve said all day. Jamie’s swift reply told me he’d been listening in. I didn’t know what Jens was up to, but he has a point. Even when I try to poke into your thoughts about any of those things, you push me out and throw up your wall. It’s like you’re hiding something.

  I growled aloud and shoved him out of my head, slamming our imaginary door in his face.

  In case you’re confused, this is exactly what I’m talking about! Jamie called from the other side of the door.

  I pushed my fists to my temples and let out a muffled whine of distress. “Leave me alone!”

  “Okay, I get it. This was too much.” Jens wrapped an arm around my shoulders, but I shrugged out of his grip. “I shouldn’t have ambushed you. I just thought if Grayson came around, you might open up a little.”

  As soon as Jamie and Britta came into my field of vision, I snatched the keys from Jens and stomped off in the direction of the car.

  I later heard our team rallied in the eighth inning and won by a whole point. While I would’ve like to’ve seen that, the respite from Grayson could not be postponed.

  Four.

  Running the Bases

  “You’re too soft on her,” Elsa said to Jens, accosting us in the parking lot. There were a fair amount of people exiting the stadium, giving up on the team we’d all cheered on so heartily in the beginning. Now it was all about beating traffic…

  …And escaping Jens.

  “Would you two leave me alone? Elsa, I can’t imagine how my life concerns you. Go back to Canada and leave us to deal.”

  Elsa grabbed my arm hard and dragged me toward her car, her brown eyes sparking with anger and frustration. “Look, Domslut. I know you’re hiding something. My coven’s allied with yours. I won’t have secrets in my ranks. Trust matters to my kind, and there are holes in your story.”

  “Pack your bags, Elsa. You three are on your own.” I shook off Elsa’s grip, but the fury could not be so easily cast aside. “I don’t know when you got it in your head that putting your hands on me was a good idea, but you’re dead wrong, sister!”

  “You can’t make someone talk if they don’t want to,” Jens argued with the dark-haired Huldra.

  Elsa’s words were ominous, and I knew the determined look in her eyes. “We both know that’s not true. Either you force it out of her, or I will. That wall he put up in her mind’s coming down.”

  “The wall who put up?” I demanded. “What are you talking about?”

  Jens shot Elsa a look of warning. “Shut up about it. I won’t interrogate my girlfriend because you suspect she’s hiding something.”

  “Then we’ll do it my way.” A chill ran through me as Elsa pursed her lips just as we located the car in the massive lot.

  “Lucy, run!” Jens yelled as he turned to Elsa and took a swing at her.

  Leif rushed Jens, and then Jamie rushed Leif. It was nuts.

  Elsa ducked and let out a whistle to incapacitate specifically Jens, dropping him to his knees and leaving Jamie and Leif to wrestle. Britta had secured Grayson, throwing him to the pavement, her knee on his back. Though other than his mouth, he wasn’t a real threat to us.

  I covered my ears and ran from her like a lunatic. When Elsa didn’t give chase, I tried to slow my heart’s thudding and find a large enough car to duck behind. When I heard her syncopated footsteps following me, I high-tailed it back to the stadium, running with everything in me to the safety of the crowded building. People stared as I ran like a Muppet on fire, but I didn’t care.

  It was then I truly began to despise the bond. Elsa ceased her chase; she had Jamie to toy with. Instead of looking around for somewhere I recognized, I shut my eyes and sank to the ground against the wall, putting my head on my knees to keep Elsa from controlling Jamie to look through my eyes to find me. If I didn’t know where I was, Jamie wouldn’t either.

  The closet door in my mind that I’d been working so hard on to keep my secrets concealed inside began to shake. Of course Jamie didn’t know my secrets; I shoved them in a hole in my brain too far out of reach to think on. Every time the urge to examine the events of Limbo entered my thoughts, I crammed the whole ordeal back into the space and slammed the closet door. I sought every distraction I could find, even throwing myself into Friday’s outdoorsy outings. The downside was that I couldn’t think for more than a fleeting second of anything related to Limbo, so I ducked out of conversations about Undraland and even about those concerning my family. I couldn’t afford to think about it even the tiniest bit, so I did my best to stop thinking about Linus and my parents altogether. If Jamie knew, then Jens would know, and I would be found out to be even more of a freak than I currently was.

  Something was changing inside me. It was growing, and I could feel the shift in my cells. I know that sounds paranoid, but some mornings I awoke and looked in the mirror to check if my face had changed in a noticeable way – so great was this feeling of an ominous modification in my veins. It was like untapped power. Like energy, and I didn’t want it there.

  I shoved the fear out before Jamie could locate it.

  Lucy? Lucy, come back! Jens is on the floor, and she’s torturing him until you come out. Can you hear me? Hurry!

  My instinct was to give myself up to save Jens, but I stopped to think it through. If Jens was being tortured, no way would Jamie or Britta let that happen. Elsa would have to whistle him into immobility, which would keep me from moving, as well. I shook my head. No. Jens isn’t being tortured. Tell Elsa nice try.

  Elsa slapped Jamie, snapping my head to the side.

  I kept my head down and thought long and hard on how to go about escaping the Huldra whose mood turned on a dime. We’d established a fragile respect for each other, but when she didn’t get her way, she was a terror to be reckoned with. While Jens, Jamie and Britta no doubt thought Elsa was overreacting, I knew she was spot on, sniffing out danger to her territory like a bloodhound.

  I whipped out my phone and hit the number five speed dial. “Foss? Foss?” I called into the phone.

  “What? I didn’t feel like going to watch a game, Lucy. I have actual grownup work to do at the ranch. I just hired a foreman, and he needs some breaking in.”

  I didn’t bother holding back the fear in my tone. I spoke hurriedly while keeping my head down so I didn’t see any signs that Jamie could pick out and relay back to Elsa to give away my location. “Elsa’s cracked! She took Jens down. She’s trying to find me to get information. I’m hiding now, but she’ll find me, Foss! Get to the stadium and bust us out of here!”

  “What?”

  “Hurry! And don’t go near her. She’s full-on Huldra right now. Girlfriend’s lost her mind!”

  The phone clicked a few times, and I could hear him moving. “I’m leaving now. Phone’s on speaker, so don’t hang up.” His green pickup roared to life. “Are you hurt?”

  “No. I bolted out before she could get me. She mind-warped a human therapist to try coaxing information out of me!” I kept my head down, the brim of my hat tugged low over my face as I sat against the wall. Suddenly my choice of one powder blue Chuck Taylor and one yellow seemed like a bad idea, making me stick out when I wanted to blend.

  “What information does she want? What does she think you know that we don’t?”

  “I don’t know!” I lied. “Just get here and get us out! She’s crazy!”

  Foss calmed, forcing his steady voice to soothe me, lest I do something foolish. “I’m on my way. Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of her.”

  The relief in me swelled at his words. He’d been avoiding me since our divorce. I hated tha
t it took a crisis to get him around me again. Even more than that, I despised how much I missed him. “Foss?”

  “Yeah?”

  I breathed unsteadily into the phone, flipping through things I wish I could say, but knew would be a mistake if I did. “Um, Britta misses you.” Another lie, but it was the only safe thing I could think of.

  He chuckled in his deep way, comforting me beyond what should be allowed. His voice was warm honey coating my heart with heat that was sure to leave a burn mark. “Is that so? I miss her, too.” I could tell in his pause that he was choosing his words carefully, as well. “I think about her every night, and check in on her star in the sky before I go to sleep.” He cleared his throat. “But she has Jens, so I’m staying away.”

  I nodded, my eyes shut tight to fend off the pain of tearing myself in two. “She understands.”

  Before we could say more things we would regret, a loud alarm sounded throughout the stadium. I groaned. “Elsa pulled the fire alarm, or had someone do it for her.”

  “Stay put. I’ll find you.”

  I could barely hear him over the noise of the alarm. Confused fans turned into crazed maniacs, and soon there was a stampede. Too many cows trying to squeeze out of one exit. I started crawling over to the nearest doorway so I could hide behind the sturdy double door, which had been propped open almost all the way, save for a foot of space behind it – perfect for hiding one Lucy Kincaid.

  Just before I reached safety, someone tripped over me, then another person stepped on my hand, and another kicked me in their haste to escape the unconfirmed flames.

  Thousands of fans poured out from the stands like ants from an anthill, several trampling me beyond what I could escape.

  Confusion addled my brain as I shielded myself as best I could from the blows that came from being caught underfoot. A kind Samaritan yanked me up, releasing me just as quickly before I could muster out a breathy “thanks”. I limped toward the door, slipped behind it and crouched down, nursing my wounds.