by Laura Gates
They unloaded the groceries before Evie started prepping dinner. “What’s on the menu?” Beau asked. “Meatloaf cakes, scalloped potatoes, and a salad for those who want one,” Evie replied. Beau salivated, thinking about the last time he had a good meatloaf. “Beau! We need to have tea party!” Harper cried, tugging on Beau’s hand. “All right, Princess, let’s go,” Beau said laughing. Levi plopped on the sectional and turned on the TV as Evie began making dinner.
After she set the oven timer for 35 minutes, Evie began making the phone calls she needed to make to the Latin American countries. Once she was off the phone, she noticed it was very quiet in her house besides the occasional noise from the TV. She checked her living room and saw Levi watching Batman. Where are Beau and Harper, she thought to herself. Evie quickly gave her son a kiss on the cheek before going up the stairs and down the hallway to Harper's room.
Where are Beau and Harper, she thought to herself. Evie quickly gave her son a kiss on the cheek before going up the stairs and down the hallway to Harper's room.
The door was closed, and she could hear Harper talking mostly with occasional agreeance from Beau who was speaking with a distorted high-pitched voice. Evie lightly knocked on the door before opening it. Inside, she saw Harper wearing an assortment of costume jewelry Evie got her daughter for her 2nd birthday, and Beau wearing one of Evie's floppy hats she gave to Harper, a pink boa that usually hung on Harper's wall, and fuschia nail polish on his fingernails. Neither Beau or Harper heard Evie open the door because they continued to clink teacups and sip.
Evie quietly pulled her phone out of her back pocket and snapped a picture. Beau froze and looked towards the door after he heard the phone. Evie held back her laugh, but it was the hardest thing she had done so far. Beau stuck out his pinky and drank out of the cup before setting it down and standing up. Evie cracked up, took another picture of Beau and the pinky, and slipped out of the doorway and into the kitchen. "Will you excuse me, Harper? I need to go defend my honor," Beau said politely and calmly. Harper nodded her head before turning to one of her dolls.
Beau took off the hat and boa before walking out of Harper's room. He heard the commotion coming from the kitchen. Evie hid her phone in one of the secret cabinets so that Beau wouldn't find it. She then turned around just as Beau entered the kitchen.
"I believe you have something that I need," he said calmly.
"Sorry, I will never delete that picture," Evie said.
"Well, then. It looks like I need to fight for my honor," he teased.
"Good luck finding my phone."
"I have my ways," Beau responded.
He proceeded to look through the kitchen but had no luck. "All right, Missy. I guess I will need to interrogate you."
"How?" Evie teased.
"I believe you are ticklish. Am I right?"
"Good luck catching me," Evie taunted.
Beau proceeded to come towards Evie, but she quickly pushed him away.
"Remember, one of my classes is martial arts based."
"So is one of mine," Beau responded, trying to be witty.
Beau still grimaced hoping Evie wouldn't punch him in the face as he cornered her against the fridge tickling her ribs. Evie tickled him back before her back hit the refrigerator.
They looked at each other for what seemed like a long time before Beau rubbed Evie's left cheek with his right hand. Beau really wanted to kiss her, and Evie was taken aback by the gesture. However, if Beau kissed her, she would not try to stop him. He leaned in closer to where their noses brushed against each other, but the oven alarm went off breaking the trance.
Beau swore under his breath as Evie walked past him to the oven to turn it off and pull out the meatloaf. She went back to the fridge and pulled out some scalloped potatoes she had bought at Costco. Beau just watched Evie as she continued to put the potatoes in the microwave as well as prep the salad looking for some sort of a response, but he saw nothing. He started to doubt himself. Maybe she's not interested, he thought to himself as he went into the living room. "What are we watching, little man?" Beau asked Levi. "Batman," Levi responded.
Beau sat on the big sectional with Levi and watched his show wondering what Evie must have been thinking. They had known each other for five months and were friends for four of those months. He spent every spare minute he had with her and the kids since that first outing in the park clear back in August. It was now the end of September. It started out as a way to help him with his recovery, but this little family had become more to him with each Zumba class, park outing, aquarium visit, carousel ride, and now each tea party. He felt like he had waited long enough, but Beau wished he knew where Evie stood.
Beau Halstead tried to kiss me, Beau Halstead tried to kiss me, Evie kept thinking over and over again. Sure, she liked him and would not have stopped him from kissing her, but after it happened, Evie wasn't sure she was ready for the next step in their relationship. She mulled over the events that transpired thinking about what would have happened if the alarm hadn't gone off. The thoughts made her happy and scared all at the same time.
Fear soon ruled her emotions as Jude's words filled her brain from one of the previous nights he called. "Do you honestly think that rockstar would date you now? It doesn't matter how many gym classes you go to or what you eat. No man, especially Beau Halstead, will look at you the same way again." Tears filled Evie's eyes as those poignant words played over and over again in her head.
Evie continued to set the table, pull the potatoes out of the microwave, prep the salad, and get drinks ready. She walked into Harper's room and said, "Dinner's ready, Baby." Harper smiled and bounded out of her room to the kitchen table. Evie walked into the living room, finding Levi and Beau sprawled out on the sectional watching Coco. Evie smiled. "Dinner's ready," she said. Beau quickly got up and helped Levi up before turning off the TV.
Everyone sat down at the table and began eating. Never before had Beau tasted such delicious meatloaf. "This is wonderful," he said to her. "Thank you," she said, smiling. After they looked at each other for a while, they stared back down at their plates. Evie wasn't sure if they were going to talk about the incident. Evie felt herself putting the wall back up, and she sat quietly and ate her food. Beau knew that look very well since he tried helping Evie found the apartment. She was going to stonewall like never before. He decided to just let it go and continue like nothing happened.
Finally, when everyone was done, Beau volunteered to clean the kitchen while Evie got the kids ready for bed. After the kids were bathed and lying down in their beds, Beau peaked into each of their rooms watching Evie sing their lullaby and tucking them in bed. He smiled. Finally, Evie closed Levi's door, met Beau in the hallway. His gaze was so intense Evie felt like she was going to blush. Soon she just walked past him down the stairs into the living room. Beau followed her and sat down on the sectional next to her..
They both felt very uncomfortable. To break the ice, Beau requested a specific show to watch, and Evie turned it on. About ten minutes into the show, Beau finally said, "So, are we going to talk about what happened in the kitchen?"
"I don't know."
"Did I just make things completely awkward between us?"
Evie turned to Beau. "I don't know."
"If I did, I'm sorry."
"Do you believe in do-overs?" Evie asked.
"What do you mean?" Beau asked.
"I mean, whenever Levi yells, is impolite, or does something socially unacceptable, I tell him to do it again. When he does it right, I praise him. So, do you want a do-over on the whole situation?" Evie asked.
"Yes. Let's just continue our friendship the way it is," Beau said.
Evie smiled. "Agreed. Nothing has changed except maybe you are my best friend."
Beau paused. "I am?"
"Of course. Who else do you know that goes out of their way to spend time with my family and me?"
"Good point. Well, you are probably my best friend right now, too. You've
helped me out a lot."
"Good."
"And as for the picture," Beau began.
"I was only going to keep it for myself. It would pop up when you called me," Evie said with a chuckle. Beau blushed but laughed.
Beau watched his show as Evie went into her room to change into her pajamas, brush her teeth, and wash her face. When bare-faced Evie walked back into the living room, Beau realized he hadn't seen Evie without makeup on before, but she was still beautiful to him. She didn't wear too much makeup; just enough to highlight her features, especially those eyes. Evie sat back down on the couch and leaned her head against Beau's shoulder. Eventually, she fell asleep on the sectional as well as Beau. They stayed there all night where Evie occasionally cried or whimpered, startling Beau. Out of habit from his days of helping Cordell fall asleep again, Beau would rock Evie to sleep.
Evie woke up with Beau's arms around her on the couch. She looked around her to make sure nothing happened, remembering the almost kiss. Evie snuck away to go make a special breakfast for everyone and shower before the kids woke up. She got dressed, put makeup on, and put more curl in her hair. She went back into the kitchen and began making breakfast for everyone. She washed some fruit and set the table.
Beau woke up to the smell of French toast, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. He soon realized where he was and what happened the night before. Beau looked at his watch and realized that Evie would need to take Levi to school in about an hour. Beau salivated. He stood up, stretched, and proceeded to walk to the kitchen to see Evie all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to tackle the day.
"Good morning, Bestie he said.
Evie jumped. "Oh, you scared me," Evie said, putting her hand over her heart.
"Sorry," Beau said.
“It’s fine. I, myself, sneak up on people and make them jump.”
"What do you need help with?"
"Could you go wake Levi and ask him to change his clothes? I will go get Harper," Evie said.
"Sure thing."
Beau proceeded upstairs to wake Levi up. As Beau opened the door, Levi rolled out of bed and proceeded to get dressed. "
"Levi?" Beau asked. "What?" the boy responded. "Does your mom often cry in her sleep?" Levi's countenance suddenly changed from happy to sad. "Every night since my dad divorced her." Beau's heart suddenly sank. "Do you know what happened?" Beau asked. "He started being mean to her more and more after Harper was born. Soon, he decided to love someone else because he thought my mom was ugly. She's been really sad since. She cries a lot when she's alone."
Never before had Beau's blood boiled like it did when he heard those words. More than ever did Beau want to fly to Baltimore to pummel Jude into the ground.
"Thanks, Buddy. Finish getting ready for school. Your mom made French toast." Levi's face lit up with excitement. Beau figured Evie didn't make French toast very often, but when she did, it was absolutely delicious. Beau salivated some more. Once Levi was dressed, Beau walked with him to the table and sat down. Harper was sitting in her booster seat, ready to eat with a big smile on her face as well.
Soon, everyone was enjoying breakfast together. "Thank you for feeding me," Beau said. "You're welcome. It's the least I can do for my best friend," Evie said. Beau and Evie smiled at each other. "So, can we do this all again tonight?" Beau asked. "Why not?" Evie said, smiling.
Chapter 10
Nole Bradshaw Day
Beau stayed at Evie's townhouse every night for a month. He paid close attention to Evie's behavior to see what he could do to help her. Sure enough, he could see a woman who had been deeply hurt, abused, and betrayed, but to what extent, he had no idea. Too scared to ask, Beau stayed silent on the matter. Beau noticed that Jude called Evie every day for a week. First, Jude would talk to the kids for about five minutes, and then he would spend the next fifteen yelling at Evie for whatever reason. She usually locked herself in her room during that time. After what happened at the Mexican restaurant, Beau decided to stay out of it out of respect for Evie. He hated it. He hated the fact that Evie let Jude do this to her. Once Evie was off the phone, Beau always suggested going somewhere fun to cheer her up. The kids loved the idea, as well, so they would load up in Evie’s car and head out.
As September proceeded to October, Beau realized what day it was; October 10, a significant day in Death Toll's history for Luke, Kade, and him. That day in 2008, their fellow bandmate, bassist, and best friend, Nolan Jay Bradshaw, or as the guys called him, Nole, died while they were on tour in Europe. The bus rolled and threw him out the window, but as it kept going, it landed on him.
Beau remembered how devastated, sad, angry, disoriented, and confused he was. After that event, his behavior and alcoholism started to spin out of control. He never realized that he had substantial abandonment issues, but when Nole died, that's when they manifested. The anniversary of Nole's death always brought out emotions Beau had a hard time dealing with, especially now that Phoebe, Chloe, and Cordell were gone.
While they were at the studio writing songs, Beau began noodling with the B Minor scales on his acoustic guitar. He quickly wrote that riff down before he forgot it. Luke walked into the room and said, "Hey, we're going to go to Castro Valley to pay tribute to Nole. Want to come?" Beau shook his head. "No, I want to work on this song a bit more if that's okay with you guys."
"You know, man, one of these days, you need to go visit him," Luke said. Beau swallowed a lump in his throat. "It's too hard. One minute, we're all sleeping, and the next, we're rolling around like clothes in a dryer. I turn around and see Nole's legs underneath the bus. I can't get the image out of my head," Beau said with a crack in his voice. "It's been almost 11 years. When are you going to face it?" Luke asked a little annoyed.
Beau just shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe next year?" Beau said. "Okay. Just know the longer you put it off, the harder it's going to be. See ya later!" Luke said. "Bye!" Beau went back to playing his guitar.
Soon, lyrics and poetry started flowing through Beau, and he quickly grabbed a notepad and a pen and began writing about how fragile life is, and it can be taken from anyone at any given time. He wrote about how he often felt sitting in his house by himself, wishing he could join his family. He wrote about how much longer he would live before Beau had given all he needed to offer to Death Toll.
Beau suddenly had a vision of an explosive guitar riff after the first verse. He started noodling again until his fingers found the riff he heard in his head. Beau wrote it down. As he repeated it over and over again, he thought about the good old days when everyone he truly loved and cared about was still alive. Fast forward to the present day, and they were all gone. Nothing would ever be the same again.
More lyrics flowed to Beau's mind about how much can change within a short amount of time. He wrote about how much he missed Phoebe and the out-of-body experience Beau had when he received the news of her death. He remembered the hole he felt inside of him and relapsing into bad habits, but he didn't know how to stop them on his own until a few months prior. Everything seemed pretty repetitive. He played through both verses and solos a few times, and he made sure to write them down.
Suddenly, Beau heard little people's voices, and he knew Evie and the kids just got to the studio. Levi ran into the equipment room where Beau was sitting. "Hi, Beau!" Levi exclaimed before running off to the second living room. Soon, a flash of blonde curliness rushed by the door, but then it reversed. "Hi Beau!" littler Harper said, smiling. Beau smiled back. Soon, Evie walked to the door, waved her hand towards the kids as if to give up, and walked into the audio room.
"Hey!" she said out of breath. "Hey! Where did you go this morning?" Beau asked. "Parent/Teacher Conference for Levi. His teachers commented on how much his behavior has improved and rewrite some other goals," Evie said. "That's wonderful news to hear," Beau said. Evie smiled. "So, isn't today Nole Bradshaw…?" Beau quickly interrupted her. "Yes. The guys went to Castro Valley to see him," Beau said quietly. "Oh, well, why didn't y
ou go with them?" Evie asked. "I started working on this song about feelings of losing a loved one." "May I hear it?" Evie asked. "Sure."
Beau soon began playing the opening riffs, transition, first verse, solo interludes, second verse, and solo interludes again. He sang the lyrics during each verse. Evie was always amazed with Beau’s ability to sing with his heart even with brand new songs.
When he was done, Evie had tears in her eyes. Finally, she said, "I think you need to go see him." "Why?" Beau asked. "Because it's a critical year for you. You lost Nole, Phoebe, Chloe, Cordell, and your mom. Your dad was absent from your life before he eventually passed on, and you keep feeling like everyone is going to leave you. I think you need to face this fear."
Beau could feel a lump in his throat as he held back his emotions. “I can’t,” Beau said. “Why?” Evie asked, pushing the subject. “Because! It’s just too hard! Why do you always have to push, push, push!?! Your stubbornness is so damn frustrating!” Beau snapped, raising his fists in frustration. Watching Evie’s eyes become watery, Beau immediately regretted that decision. “Evie, I’m…” “Don’t,” Evie cracked, holding up a hand and walking out of the recording room. He saw her wiping the tears away.
Shit, what did I just do, Beau contemplated, why did I yell at her? She’s just trying to help. Why can’t I go see the plaque? It’s just a plaque. Beau dug deeper into his interior to figure out why this was so hard. Then he knew the answers. No one knew what caused the bus to swerve out of control, so Beau had no one to blame. Nole’s death was a true tragedy, and it always bothered Beau. Plus, Beau had bad abandonment issues. Dr. Bennett had addressed those issues in therapy many times before, but Beau never applied it to Nole’s death.
