Once the children were settled at their desks, Annie pulled the notebook out of her bag and approached Ava. “I found this and thought of you,” she said. “You could write down memories of your mama in this notebook so you don’t forget them. The others can help you. When you’re missing her, you can read the stories to each other and write new ones in it.”
Ava hugged the notebook to her chest. Tears made tracks down her cheeks. “Thank you, Miss Annie. Thank you.”
Chapter Nine
The house call had taken longer than Coren anticipated. The rain had not yet begun when he left his house, so he’d walked the few blocks to check his patient. Now it came down steadily and had been doing so since late morning. An early darkness had settled over the streets, lit only by street lamps reflecting off multiple puddles. He was wet to the knees before he made it home.
He entered the house and found Kathryn and the school teacher staring out the parlor window.
“I’m sorry we kept you so late, Annie,” said Kathryn to the school teacher.
“It’s my fault, really. I lost track of time this afternoon.”
“Now you have to walk home in the dark.”
“I’ll be fine, if you have an umbrella you can spare so I don’t get drenched. I promise to bring it back tomorrow. In the future, I’ll come prepared.”
Coren stood dripping in the doorway. “It’s not safe for you on the streets after dark, Miss Petit. I’ll see you home.”
The teacher’s eyebrows flew upward. “I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve been away from home all day. Your children need you more than I do.”
“I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you. No, I’ll walk you home.” Coren didn’t need another tragedy on his conscience.
Miss Petit shrugged into her coat and gathered her things. Coren stepped onto the porch and offered his arm. “It’s quite treacherous on the sidewalks. You’d better hang on.”
He could sense Miss Petit’s uncertainty as she took his arm. He could barely feel her fingers through his own coat. The minute they stepped off the porch into the pouring rain, she stepped closer to him under the umbrella.
“Which way?” he asked when they reached the street. The teacher pointed to their left and he turned that direction.
“How have classes gone the last couple days?” he asked to make the time pass more quickly and because her proximity under the umbrella unnerved him.
“The children are doing well. They weren’t excited about spending their playtime inside today. We tried the calisthenics you suggested instead of playing outdoors.”
“How did it go?”
“We might need a few days to become proficient. I’ve read, however, that laughter is good exercise.”
“They were laughing instead of exercising?” Coren was puzzled.
“The movements were rather amusing. I’m not sure how successful we were at duplicating them.”
“Maybe I could come and demonstrate.”
“That would be helpful. We’ll plan for it the next time we have a rainy day.”
Coren hadn’t been this close to a woman other than his wife in years. He was keenly aware of her hand on his arm and her skirt swishing against his legs. A strange unease settled over him, like he was betraying Sarah by walking with another woman.
“You have lovely children,” said the teacher.
“They are all taken with you,” said Coren. “Ezra and Vivian talk about you the entire evening after you leave, one story from their day after another.”
The teacher laughed, a merry sound that gave Coren the same sense of betrayal. No one should be happy around him. He didn’t deserve to be happy ever again. Yet, the sound was contagious and Coren felt himself smile despite his best efforts to stop it.
“I’d imagine that gets old fast,” said the teacher through her laughter.
“They seem to find you immensely quotable.”
The teacher laughed again.
Her laughter faded and silence fell between them again. The teacher pointed directions to her house. They reached the front walk.
“I’m fine from here. Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea or to dry off and get warm for a few minutes?”
Coren looked down at the woman next to him. Light from the house illuminated part of her face. Her brown eyes were kind and warm and smiling. Coren’s legs and feet were wet and freezing. A few minutes by the fire would feel wonderful.
“I haven’t seen my children since breakfast. I should go home.”
“Of course.” The teacher smiled at him. She started up the front walk.
“Miss Petit.”
The teacher rejoined him under his umbrella.
“I need to apologize to you for the way I behaved last week, and again earlier this week. You did nothing to deserve the treatment I gave you.”
“Think nothing of it,” she said. “All is forgiven.”
Coren didn’t know why he kept talking but something compelled him to continue. “My wife helped me see the positive in everything. She helped me enjoy life. I’ve been…lost without her.”
The teacher said nothing. She watched him with her warm, brown eyes. More words tumbled out of Coren’s mouth, more things he hadn’t intended to say.
“I’ve been angry since she died. Out of balance. She balanced me. I just…” He swallowed hard around the lump that had formed in his throat. “I don’t know if I’ll ever move past it.”
The teacher rested her hand on Coren’s arm. “That’s completely understandable. I don’t know how anyone would ever move past a loss like the one you’ve endured.”
“Yes. Well. Thank you for being so understanding. I’ll let you get indoors out of the rain.”
Coren walked home in the dark and marveled at himself. What on earth had come over him? He’d been meaning to apologize to her, but he’d never meant to say so much. What must she think of him?
A weariness settled over him. He was tired. Tired of not being able to sleep at night. Tired of the constant worry. Tired of feeling he must control every aspect of the children’s lives. He wanted to let it go, but he didn’t know how. He knew he’d get angry again. It was only a matter of time.
∞
The children finished their dinner and were ready for bed. Coren tucked them in and rocked Darren to sleep. Then he returned to his office to finish his notes from the day. Kathryn tapped on the door and entered with a cup of tea.
“Your feet were wet for a long time. Hopefully the tea helps to ward off a chill,” she said.
“I’m perfectly fine, but thank you all the same.” The warm tea felt wonderful as it slid down his throat.
Kathryn sat on the couch. “I received a letter from Everett today. I know I’ve told you several times I’d need to join him before long. He informed me he’s gotten a room and I can go live with him there any time. I think he’s lonely.”
“What will I do without you?” Coren could feel his chest tightening in response to the news. How would he care for the children without his sister? How would he cook and clean and take care of his rounds or any emergencies that arose?
“I’ve been thinking about how to help you manage and have come up with several options. Annie could stay here during the week. She could take care of the cooking and cleaning and watch the children if you need to be away at night. It’s less than ideal. She would be opened to gossip, even with the children here.”
Coren shook his head. “I don’t want a stranger living in my house.”
“She’s hardly a stranger. She’s here every day.”
“What’s another option?”
“You could hire someone to cook and clean several days a week. Not every day of course. They could prepare meals in advance for you to feed the children. Or Annie could come early and stay late to make sure the children eat. Either way, Annie’s responsibilities would be manageable, and you wouldn’t have a stranger living here with you.”
“Are those the only options
?”
“You could take care of everything yourself and plan all your patient visits while Annie is here with the children.”
“You know I can’t cook worth anything.”
“I could teach you a few things, enough to get by.”
Coren groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. “Couldn’t Everett come live here?”
“Coren, he has a good job. You know how difficult it is to get one of those right now. He’s been patient with us these last few months, but he misses me and I miss him. It isn’t right for us to be apart.”
Coren stared at his sister, his eyes filled with pain. “No, it isn’t right for spouses to be separated.”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“I know you need to be with him. You’re our new normal, Kat. You’ve been here since Sarah died. I’m grateful for all you’ve done and don’t know what we’ll do without you. When you leave it’ll be like tearing that wound open again.”
“I’m talking with you about it now so you have time to prepare, not only for the care of the children, but for the changes you’ll experience when I go home.” She stood and collected Coren’s empty cup. “You look done in, Coren. You should head to bed.”
Coren stood and followed Kathryn to the door. “It’s an exercise in futility, you know.”
“What is?”
“Sleeping at night.”
“You’re the doctor with all the lovely medications. Can’t you take something that’ll help you sleep?”
“Not if I get a call in the night. I can’t be groggy from medicine.”
∞
Coren checked the children one more time, his nightly ritual. When he finally laid down in bed and closed his eyes, he waited for the waves of anger and self-doubt that usually arrived the minute he became still and quiet. Tonight, all he saw was a pair of warm brown eyes looking up at him and a merry laugh that made him think he could feel joy again. As he drifted to sleep, he found himself praying for the first time in months.
Thank you God, for the children you’ve given me and for the teacher you brought them who has helped me remember what a blessing they are.
Chapter Ten
“When will you be leaving?” Annie asked Kathryn a few days later. The children were clattering around in the washroom outside the kitchen, pulling on coats and hats so they could play outside. The temperature had dropped until it felt more like winter than fall outside. Annie didn’t mind the cold as long as it was sunny.
“Everett would like me there as soon as I can join him. I’ll leave once I’ve made all the arrangements here.”
Annie threw her arms around the older woman. “I’m going to miss you,” she said. “I won’t have you around for moral support.”
“He’s changing, Annie. I don’t know what it is. He’s stopped demanding the children follow his over-protective rules. I’m glad of it. It would be hard to leave you to deal with it alone.”
“Yes, well, I’m hoping to test that again today,” said Annie. “I’d like to take the older three children to the library while Vivian and Darren nap. They’ve read everything on the bookshelves upstairs, sometimes more than once. They need new material.”
Mrs. Gwenneg raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know how he’ll react.”
“I know. I decided it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. Would you watch the younger two while we’re gone?”
“I’d be happy to keep an eye on them. Used to have to do it all the time. The last couple weeks have been a welcome break.”
∞
An hour later, the younger children tucked in bed and sound asleep, Annie led Ava, Danny, and Ezra from the house. They covered the few blocks to the library bathed in brilliant sunshine. The streets were quieter than Annie had expected. She gripped Ezra’s hand tight enough that the boy complained and tried to wiggle free of her grip.
“I’m six years old, Miss Annie,” he said. “I’m too old to hold your hand.”
“If your father found out I was taking you to the library, he’d be unhappy with me. I’m holding your hand the whole way there and back so I feel I watched over you properly.”
Ezra glared at her but stopped protesting. Ava and Danny followed, eyes wide.
“We haven’t gone anywhere in a long time,” said Ava. She pointed at the house at the end of their block. “No one lives there anymore. Some of the windows are broken. It didn’t look like that when Mama was alive and we went to school.”
“How sad,” said Annie. “It’s a lovely house.”
“The people who lived there were old and they smelled funny,” said Ezra. “Sometimes Mama took us for a visit. She made us sit and talk to them. The man had a real live sword. He got it from some war he fought in.”
“The Civil War,” said Ava. “He had a musty smelling blue uniform, too. Danny wanted to try it on but Mama wouldn’t let him.”
The boys ran up the steps into the library. Annie and Ava followed more slowly. With a warning to be quiet, Annie let them wander through the children’s books unsupervised.
She scanned the shelves for newer books she hadn’t seen before and that she thought would interest them. A few caught her eye: Winnie the Pooh, Anne of Green Gables, a new mystery series featuring a female detective named Nancy Drew, Little House in the Big Woods, and The Voyage of Dr. Dolittle — a medical doctor who could talk to animals.
Annie examined the books the children had chosen for themselves. Ava had a book of fairy tales, Danny an adventure called Tarzan of the Apes, and Ezra thumbed through a picture book.
“It’s time to go,” Annie whispered to them. Three pairs of out of focus eyes met hers. In the few minutes she’d given them on their own, they’d become completely lost in their books. Annie smiled. The library visit was a success.
“You can bring those with you, too,” Annie told them. “When we get home, I’ll give you a chance to read for a while.”
The three children scrambled to their feet and hurried to the front desk with their books.
A few minutes later, bag full of books in one hand and Ezra’s hand gripped firmly in the other, Annie followed Ava and Danny as they scampered toward home. Danny regaled them about the few pages he’d read in his book — a shipwreck in Africa, a new baby taken in and raised by apes.
“Sometimes I wish I was raised by apes,” he finished as they approached their house.
“Why on earth would you want to be raised by apes?” scoffed Ava. “They’re so dirty! They eat bugs!”
“They are not dirty,” said Danny. “Besides, they get to live in trees. We never get to climb trees since Mama died.”
“Humans can’t grip trees like apes can. Their feet and hands are all wrong,” said Annie. They’d reached the coat room and all the children were shrugging out of coats and hats. “Can this Tarzan climb trees like the apes?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t read that far.”
“I’ll bet he can’t,” said Ava.
“I’ll bet he can,” Danny shot back.
“That’s enough,” said Annie, a warning in her tone. “It’s just a story. People can make up whatever they want in stories and it isn’t always true.” She pulled the Dr. Dolittle book from the bag. “This book tells the story of a man who can talk to animals, but we all know no one can do that in real life.”
“I wish I could talk to animals,” said Ezra with a sigh. “I wish I could climb trees like an ape, too.”
Annie laughed and ruffled his hair. “Let’s go upstairs and I can read to you all from the Dr. Dolittle book. How about that?”
The children darted upstairs, thumping all the way, despite Annie’s warning to be quiet and not wake Vivian and Darren. But it was too late. So Annie settled them with some toys and read a couple chapters to them before they finished school for the afternoon.
∞
When Annie arrived at the Winslows the next morning, Dr. Winslow was waiting for her.
“You took them to the library yesterday,”
he said without another word of greeting. “I’ve tolerated a lot from you, but this…this is too much.”
“How is it too much?” asked Annie. “I was with them the entire time. The road was empty for our entire journey there and back, and we were the only ones at the library.”
“You left the house without permission.”
“Your sister said it was a good idea. She watched the younger two while we were gone.”
Dr. Winslow stared at Annie. A muscle in his jaw flexed. Annie could see he was furious, but it wasn’t the first time she’d experienced this emotion from him and she wasn’t going to back down. She met his stern gaze, unflinching and refused to look away.
“They’ve read everything on your bookshelves several times. I thought it would be nice to have new reading material.”
“A book about a boy raised by apes. That’s your idea of good reading material for them.”
A loud thump and clatter sounded on the floor above. Dr. Winslow winced.
“I didn’t think it could hurt.” Annie shrugged and tried a small smile. A loud shriek made her jump and glance up at the ceiling.
“He thinks he’s an ape,” said Dr. Winslow.
Annie fought to keep her laughter in check and her face appropriately sober. “Maybe we should begin with some outside play time today,” she said. They could hear Mrs. Gwenneg’s voice above the racket and everything became still. Annie met Dr. Winslow’s gaze once more and almost gasped. Was that a smile she saw behind his stern expression? She’d never seen him smile before.
“I doubt outside play time will help, but you can try.” He turned and stalked toward his office.
“Please, sir, wait a minute.” Annie hurried behind him and laid her hand on his arm to stop him. He turned surprised eyes on her and she dropped her hand. “I’m not asking for long trips all over the city. But if you’d let me take them places that are nearby, I know they’d enjoy it. I promise to watch over them like they’re my own children.”
He stepped close to her, his face inches from hers. “But they aren’t your children. They’re mine. And I want them safe and protected.”
Annie refused to increase the distance between them, despite his uncomfortable proximity. “They will always be safe and protected with me. I hope you know that by now.”
Loving Annie Page 5
