Reckless Surrender

by R. C. Martin

  She groans, pulling away from Logan as she sinks into her seat. “I can’t believe I’m getting relationship advice from you, of all people.”

  “Hey, don’t be mean,” she insists, pointing her finger admonishingly. “I’m amazing. Not to mention, I’m a kick-ass girlfriend—which is why my boyfriend is here taking you to the airport.”

  “Right. It has nothing to do with the fact that we’re from the same bloodline,” she says dryly.

  “That may be true,” says Logan, smiling at me. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m a kick-ass girlfriend.”

  I stifle my chuckle, for Daphne’s sake, and wink at my girl. “Get out of here. We have to go.”

  “I know. Call me. Both of you! Bye.”

  I’m yanked from my sleep with a painful flick against my ear. When it happens again, I jerk my head up and grumble. “What the hell?” I know, before I get my bearings, that it was Harvey who woke me. When I see Grace standing beside him, I realize that I’m at my desk.

  I’m at my desk—not at home, in my bed.

  “Shit!” I don’t remember closing my eyes. If I’m not here alone, that means that it’s morning; it means I spent the whole night away from Daphne and she has no idea where I am. I immediately search my pockets for my phone. When I’ve retrieved it, I see that it’s gone dead. “Shit.”

  “Want to tell us what’s going on?” asks Grace.

  “I need to borrow your phone,” I demand, standing to my feet as I hold out my hand.

  “What’s going on, Trev?” asks Harvey. When neither of them reaches for their phone, I start for the door, headed to use the one at the front desk. Harvey blocks my path. “She won’t answer. So why don’t you just tell us what happened?”

  My stomach knots up at his words. “What do you mean, she won’t answer?”

  “Trevor,” says Grace, resting a hand on my arm. “Did you sleep here?”

  “Yes! It was an accident, okay? I didn’t mean to. I was working on a drawing and—and—and I must have fallen asleep. What do you mean, she won’t answer?”

  “She called me,” Grace begins, speaking hesitantly. “She boarded a plane about a half an hour ago.”

  “A plane?” I cry, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. Things just went from bad to worse. “Where? Why?”

  “She’s on her way to O’Hare. I couldn’t get much out of her, she was obviously calling me in a hurry. She just asked that I relay a message when I found you.”

  “Okay—what message?” I ask frantically. She sucks in a breath and casts a compassionate look my way. I know, before she even speaks, that this is my fault. Daphne is running. There is no emergency or any other logical explanation. She watched me leave with Crystal yesterday afternoon and I didn’t come home, so she ran. Only this time, I can’t just get in my truck and go after her. “Grace, tell me.”

  “She said…she said to tell you, and I quote, ‘Don’t wait up. Love, D.’”

  “Fuck,” I whisper, dropping my face into my hands.

  “What happened?” asks Harvey.

  “Crystal,” I mumble. “Crystal happened. I didn’t call. Then Daphne freaked out and acted impulsively and now I can’t reach her until she lands.”

  “Hold on a second.” I pull my hands away from my face at Grace’s tone. “Are you telling me that you didn’t go home at all last night? You were with Crystal all that time?” I open my mouth to respond, but she holds up a hand and continues before I can get a word out. “You’re in deep trouble. Daphne wasn’t exactly thrilled with your coffee outing to begin with.”

  “What?” I scoff, offended that I’m now having to defend myself to someone who isn’t my girlfriend. “Nothing happened!”

  “She said she tried getting ahold of you all night.”

  “I’m not arguing with you about this,” I grumble, shaking my head to emphasize my dismissal. “I’m going home. I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

  “Trevor—”

  “Let him go, sweetheart. Let him go.”

  Once I’m in my truck, I hunt for my car charger and plug in my phone. It takes a few seconds for it to power up. When it does, it buzzes with a dozen alerts. I’ve got three new text messages and nine voicemails. Two of the texts are from Crystal, which I ignore for the time being, and she left me one voicemail this morning. The rest of the messages are from Daphne. Only her last one, recorded a couple of hours ago, is longer than two seconds. I listen to that one first.

  “If you’re hurt or sick, I’ll never forgive myself for leaving. But something tells me that isn’t the case. Someone would have called me by now, right? My phone has been dead silent for hours. So, wherever you are, I hope you’re okay.”

  She sighs and my heart aches.

  “Dammit, Trevor. I can’t wait for you in this house. It’s not my home without you in it. I hate that I don’t know where you are! I thought we were past all of this. I thought nothing would come between us ever again…”

  I can hear her breathing, as if she’s contemplating whether or not she has anything else to say. She doesn’t. The recording ends without another word. I wish I could speak to her now. I need to explain myself. Yet again, she’s gone and I have no idea what she’s thinking.

  As I begin to drive home, I realize that the frustration I feel isn’t entirely about me and how I screwed up. I’m annoyed that she just took off. She has no idea what happened last night, but she should know that I would never do anything to hurt her. Not intentionally, anyway. So why the hell did she just leave? And why Chicago?

  Before I even finish asking myself the question, I know the answer. Avery. She went to see Avery.

  The first thing I do when I walk into the house is pull up all the flights from Denver to Chicago that took off this morning. I have no idea which one she’s on, but if she’s flying non-stop, she’ll be there anywhere between an hour and a half to two hours from now. I find myself praying, hoping that she’ll be landing sooner than later. I plan on calling the second that first flight hits the ground.

  Knowing that there’s nothing left for me to do now but wait, I decide to shower. While I let the hot water beat down on my stiff muscles, I think about last night. I recall everything Crystal said—the reason why she came to find me. It’s still hard for me to believe. Not because I thought she was lying or being disingenuous, but because I wasn’t expecting to hear any of what she told me.

  We didn’t just stay for one more round; we stayed for another couple of hours. After I took her back to the shop, so she could get her car, I felt too wired to go home and go to bed. When I wandered into my office, I saw the drawing I was working on earlier that afternoon. I decided I could mess with it for a few minutes—just long enough to clear my head. I must have fallen asleep in the process.

  I don’t know when my phone died. It didn’t really cross my mind to check. It was so late, I figured Daphne was asleep and there was no point in me waking her. Not that my excuses mean anything now. They can’t save me from her running. She’s already gone.

  I stay under the water until it gets lukewarm and then get out and dry myself off. I opt for a pair of board shorts and one of my basketball jerseys for my attire, the heat and my stress making it way too hot for anything else. Despite my long shower, I still have at least an hour to kill before I can start trying to call Daph. I busy myself by cleaning up around the house. That doesn’t take long, which irritates me, so I try and search the fridge for something to eat. Everything in there reminds me of Daphne, which twists my stomach in knots, and I lose my appetite. Finally, I just sit down in front of the TV, too anxious to do anything else. At eleven-thirty, I pick up the phone and call her. It goes straight to voicemail. I check flight times and call again in fifteen minutes. Voicemail.

  On my forth try, she answers.

  “Trevor?”

  “Yeah,” I sigh, relieved. “It’s me.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Baby—”

  “I’m glad you’re o
kay. I have to go.”

  “What? Daphne, don’t hang up!” I insist, standing to my feet. My relief from a second ago tumbles to the ground. “We need to talk.”

  “We needed to talk last night.”

  “Daph, I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I wasn’t expecting to be out so late and I somehow managed to fall asleep at the shop.”

  “Hold on—is that supposed to make me feel better? Knowing that you fell asleep alone, at the shop, instead of God knows where else? Because it doesn’t! I called you so many times I was driving myself nuts!”

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter, unsure of what else to say. “My phone must have died a little while after I sent that text.”

  “What were you two doing that was so important that you couldn’t take two seconds to call me?” Her tone is changing and I can tell that she’s growing impatient. “You don’t have any idea what it feels like to wake up in the middle of the night, in a cold bed, knowing that your boyfriend is out with another woman!”

  “Dammit, Daphne,” I cry, my patience dropping with hers. “Nothing happened and you know it!”

  “Then why the hell didn’t you come home?”

  “We were just talking. When I went back to the shop to drop her off, I decided to head inside. I wanted to clear my head.”

  “Fine. Whatever. I have to go.”

  “Daphne—”

  “Your story sounds like bullshit, Trev. Absolute bullshit. So, you spent the rest of your day with Crystal. Great,” she bites derisively. “I wouldn’t give a fuck if you weren’t acting all weird about it.”

  “I’m not acting weird,” I argue, gripping a fistful of my hair. We’re getting nowhere and the fact that she’s in a different state right now is not helping.

  “Yes. Yes, you are! You have been since the moment you laid eyes on her. I saw it all over your face. Now you’re telling me this half-assed story about staying up all night talking and then falling asleep at work. You’re keeping something from me.”

  I tilt my head back as I blow out a breath, my eyes searching the ceiling as I try and calm down. “Okay—yes, I’m keeping something from you. The reason why she came looking for me in the first place. But I was going to tell you! I’m not trying to keep secrets, I just needed a second to wrap my head around it. I was working when I fell asleep. And don’t you dare act like that’s abnormal or weird because it’s not.” We both fall silent for a moment and my temper cools down another few degrees. “Baby, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to worry you. I just got distracted.”

  “Why was she looking for you?” she asks softly.

  “I—” I drop my chin to my chest and squeeze my eyes shut, bracing for impact. “I would rather we talk about this in person.” It’s not a lie or bait or a vindictive request—it’s simply what I want, what I’ve wanted all along.

  “Oh. How convenient,” she scoffs.

  “You know what?” My head snaps back up as a new wave of frustration washes over me. “It’s not my fault you decided to skip town. That’s on you. You want to talk about bullshit, let’s not leave out that small detail.”

  “I have to go.”

  “Daphne, don’t—”

  “No, you don’t. I keep wondering if I’m overreacting, but you know what I’ve decided? I’m not. Do you know why? Because if there is one thing I know about Crystal, it’s that she can’t be trusted with you.”

  I pull the phone away from my ear as I drop my hands to my sides. I can’t believe she just said that. If there is one thing she should know about Crystal, it should be that she loved my brother fiercely. To classify her under that one mistake is completely unfair.

  “What about me?” I demand to know, bringing the phone back to my ear. “Are you saying I can’t be trusted with her, either?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispers.

  Suddenly, the muscles in my chest feel too tight. I’m speechless at her admission. I won’t stand here and claim to know what she went through last night, but I’m not sure I deserved that. She knows me too damn well to claim I’m untrustworthy.

  “It took three hours of you being in her company for you to forget how you’ve always treated me. She surprised you. I get it, I do, but the look on your face when you saw her?” She huffs out a breath and I imagine her shaking her head as the image fills her mind. “Last night, you made it obvious that you need some space. Now you have it.”

  “Daphne…” I fall silent as I run out of words.

  “I really have to go now. I’ll see you in a couple days.”

  She hangs up before I can stop her.

  It takes me a couple minutes to gather myself after I hang up with Trevor and call Avery. It isn’t until the third ring that I realize—

  Shit. It’s a holiday weekend! What if they aren’t even home? Or what if they have big plans?

  Great. Now I’m an asshole, too.

  “Hello?” she answers, pulling me from my depressing train of thought. “Daphne?”

  “Yeah—hi. Sorry, I was—never mind. Um, what are you doing? Do you have class today?”

  “Nope! Actually, Sonny and I were just getting ready to head to the grocery store. Aren’t we adorably domestic? But that can wait. What’s up?”

  I smile, amused by the pleasure she finds in running errands with her husband. Then I think of Trevor and my smile fades. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I could really use a friend right now. Especially if she lives in Chicago, because I’m currently at the airport with no idea where to go for some fun in this town.” I speak fast and then hold my breath, all the while coming to terms with just how crazy I really am for doing this.

  “What?” she squeaks. “You’re in Chicago?”

  “Yeah…I decided this morning that I needed to get away and you were—”

  She frees a squeal, forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear. “Sonny,” I hear her cry. “We have our first out of town guest! Come on. We have to go to the airport. Daphne? We’ll be there in a half an hour, tops. See you soon!”

  As we end the call, I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.

  Maybe I’m not so crazy after all.

  It’s taken me a few weeks, but I honestly think I’m starting to get the hang of this yoga thing. I realize, as I roll up my mat, that I feel really good and totally relaxed—something I haven’t felt in days. I’m actually incredibly grateful for this class, for the instructor especially, because this is the best way for my day to begin. In a matter of hours, the Archibald grand re-opening party is going to start. At this point, I’ve done everything I can to make the dining room as gorgeous as possible. Hopefully the big-wigs from the hotel and Eddalyn agree.

  “You’re getting better¸” says Roman when he spots me headed his way.

  “I’ve been getting private lessons,” I jest with a wink.

  When he grins at me I have to take a breath.

  I love that smile—the one that belongs to me.

  “I hope he keeps his hands to himself,” he plays along, sliding his arm around my waist.

  “What fun would that be?”

  “Does he buy you brunch after your session?”

  “No.” I lift myself onto my tiptoes and press a quick kiss against his lips. “I only let my boyfriend do that. Ready?”

  “Yup. Let’s get out of here.”

  Since both of us are on a tight schedule today, we agree to skip Morning Glory and head to Dottie’s Bakery. She makes the most amazing sweet breads. I’m salivating just imaging the assortment of muffins she’ll have out this morning. We stop at Roman’s car to stow away our mats and then he takes my hand as we begin our walk.

  “Have you heard from Daph?” he asks.

  “Oh, my god, I forgot to tell you! She got food poisoning or something right after she got there. I guess while she was waiting for the newlyweds to pick her up—which they were thrilled about, by the way—she ordered a latte and it made her sick. She thinks it was the milk that made her vomit, whi
ch is so gross. They should really check the dates on their cartons better.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m sure that did wonders for her mood.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I reply with a sympathetic pout. “When we talked she said she was feeling better. Today they have plans to go exploring, so hopefully that’ll cheer her up. Trevor called her yesterday.”

  “Good move on his part.”

  “True. Didn’t prevent the fight that followed, though.”

  “They’ll be alright,” he assures me, giving my fingers a squeeze.

  “I know. It’s just their first big one and I don’t like it.”

  “That’s what I love about you,” he tells me, planting a kiss against my temple. “Deep down, you’re such a romantic. It’s like your best kept secret.”

  For a second, my mind completely abandons our conversation as I replay his last words.

  Love? Did he—? He just said love!

  I inadvertently squeeze his hand, the rush his word choice sends through my body making it hard for me to think straight. When I look up at him, my heart swells. Knowing that he loves anything about me fills me with an unexpected amount of happiness.

  “What?” he asks with a chuckle. “It’s true.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I blush.

  “Shh, don’t tell anyone,” I tease. “We can’t ruin my badass reputation.”

  “Your secret’s safe with me.”

  It doesn’t take us long to get to Dottie’s and we spend more time trying to decide what to order than we do actually eating it. When we’re finished, Roman walks me to my car and we say goodbye to one another until tonight, when he’ll meet me at the hotel. As I run around town, catching up on errands I’ve been putting off, I check in on Daphne with a few texts. Turns out, she found some live music after all. There’s a concert in a local park that they are going to check out later. Also, Trevor has called and left her three voicemails in the last twenty-four hours. She insists that she won’t call him back until he’s left at least three more. Something about showing him how it feels.

  Good God, she’s too stubborn for her own good.