Goddess With a Blade

by Lauren Dane

  “Fine. I have an hour or so.”

  She stopped at a light and he stepped out as if he were not mad and in the middle of the street. “As you noted, I am gifted with flight. I will see you at Die Mitte.” He tipped his head and slammed her door, walking up the crosswalk.

  She knew he’d blink out of sight when he wouldn’t be noticed.

  Was she supposed to not know he was leaving now so he wouldn’t be seen driving up with her? Truly, his arrogance was astounding, even for a Vampire.

  Snorting, she changed lanes and headed home. She needed to send a report to the Motherhouse. Most likely, Carey would have ferreted out some new data, so she’d read that too.

  And Clive could just wait until he figured out she’d just sent him the finger. Plan Neck Tic continued apace. Ha!

  It was better she be alone anyway. Because the situation was so precarious she needed to do some thinking.

  Closed in on all sides by this case, she changed course once again and headed out of the city.

  The drive helped her begin to process all the threads of the case. The meth thing, well that was something she could easily work with. Nothing supernatural about drug addiction. The cops saw drug-related violence all the time.

  Which was a point in her favor when it came to the next and far more worrisome step. This wasn’t a crazy tweaker who’d be able to be arrested and incarcerated.

  This murderer was a Vampire. An old one at that, and working with a human accomplice of some sort. So not something the cops in Vegas, or anywhere for that matter, saw at all.

  Jack wasn’t stupid. He knew the cause of death wasn’t right. Knew it was something altogether unnatural. He’d expect her to know that too.

  So then what? Where did that leave her?

  Fighting the bitterness of resentment, she knew it was right to be there in this place so very far away from the city and her life there. Knew she’d get guidance here that’d help her find her center while surviving the assault of the anger that came. Feeling trapped, in over her head, out of control.

  She parked, knowing the Mother-Acolyte would be there on the porch, waiting for her.

  Rowan knelt and opened herself up fully to what she was. It hurt, sharp and bright, as the Goddess and all her aspects filled her, stretching as that energy took over and shoved out all else.

  Greater calm brushed against her as the mother touched her head and bid her to stand.

  “You need to visit with her.” She took Rowan’s arm. “Come inside. See her and then stay for dinner.”

  As she descended into the cool, toward the altar, Rowan let the ritual take over. Left it to her muscle memory to wash and kneel, to prepare and then to let go and ascend as the sound of the bell still rang in her ears.

  But it wasn’t her mother who awaited Rowan’s ascent. It was, for want of a better way of expressing it, the Goddess herself. Though She was always a presence inside Rowan’s heart and mind, She didn’t often face her like this.

  In fact, there had only been one other time in Rowan’s life when this had happened. When Brigid had shown herself to Rowan outside. Vibrant and fierce, maternal and beautiful, so many things at once.

  There were no appropriate words for what it was she looked at. So much light and energy. Intense and powerful enough that fear edged around awe and love.

  Rowan lowered her eyes but before she got to her knees, She said, “No, Vessel, stand as your position demands. You walk a fine line just now, don’t you think?”

  Brigid sounded a lot like Shirley Manson—well, a more Irish than Scottish Shirley Manson, but the impression was there. The wisps of words Rowan heard from time to time, cautioning, urging or even chiding, had always carried the singer’s features in her imagination.

  “Goddess, I’m hemmed in. The Vampires have so far failed to deal with this threat. Another human woman has been murdered. The signs at the scene are not typical. They’re not even extremely atypical of a murder scene.

  “There are some troubling associations with a narcotic. For the police, it may be enough to keep them focused on so I can go around the more paranormal aspects of the case.”

  “But if the Vampires are involved in this human narcotic, what is their reason?” Rowan nearly saw one shoulder rise.

  “They can’t imbibe narcotics directly to achieve a high. Their wine is filtered through blood. There are some narcotics they can use via blood as well. Usually prescription medicines like Vicodin or Valium. It’s the only way they can be medicated to have major medical work done. Which is so rare it’s mainly only Vamps on the verge of death anyway so the risk is relative.”

  She paused as it hit her.

  “So clever you are, Rowan.”

  “I apologize for wasting your time, Goddess.” She bowed her head. So stupid, she should have figured this out already.

  “The weight you carry can be heavy. No one makes it heavier than you yourself do.”

  Rowan had no words to deny this. Which only made her feel worse. “I am honored to be your Vessel. I only want to do what is right.”

  “You are uncomfortable in your role sometimes. You doubt the path you were set to walk long before you were born.”

  “I don’t doubt my path, Goddess. I doubt my ability at times, but never my path.”

  “You are afraid, Rowan. And do you know what that means?”

  She shook her head.

  “It means you’re no different from any other person faced with the same weight of duty you are. You’re afraid because you deal with things that are frightening. Unnatural and wrong things and you do it all without anyone knowing you are taking the risk every day.”

  The Goddess began to pace.

  “And yet, none of that matters.” She faced Rowan again. “Your gift, and your curse is to be singular. You are special, Rowan. Special people guide the course of time.”

  Not that she’d asked for it.

  Brigid waved a hand. Oh yes, they were connected deep enough to hear thoughts.

  “What you are not, what you cannot do is meaningless because you will never be anything but what you are.”

  Rowan blinked quickly, smarting from everything Brigid had said. Every bit of it true.

  “You would not be my Vessel if you were not worthy. That this is a trial is nothing you or I can change. You are what you are destined to be. To doubt yourself is to doubt me. You wouldn’t dare such a thing, would you?”

  Was she teasing?

  “Never.”

  “Imbolc is fast approaching.”

  Guilt burst through her again. Presiding over Imbolc wasn’t just something in her datebook. It was integral to her role as Vessel. But these killings were also part of her job, part of her role and it tore her up.

  “That you feel so deeply about these women who’ve been so horribly used and killed as well as your place as my Vessel is more evidence of how seriously you take your path. I am pleased and proud.”

  “How can I leave the country with all this crashing down around me?”

  “You are many things and yet one. Events are set into motion sometimes so far in advance, with such a small thing it is impossible even for one such as I to comprehend all the intricacies of fate. You are meant to go to Ireland for your birthday. For my day. Trust me and your path.”

  These words lifted weight from her shoulders. The fear of making the wrong choice.

  “Thank you.”

  “I do not like to see you struggle so. It is my path to help guide you with yours. And so now I will tell you to leave here. I can feel how anxious you are. With this Vampire…another walk on a knife’s edge. There is darkness, but then there always is, always has been. Balance is important.”

  And with a deep breath, Rowan stood on the stones again, Brigid gone, the fire in the altar low.

  “I just totally got pwned by a Goddess,” she muttered, still smiling.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rowan didn’t bother with the valet. She had no intention of giving Cliv
e Stewart any notice she was on her way. At least until she got inside the hotel.

  She was angry at herself for not getting it earlier, but she sure as hell did now. This Vampire was using humans to get high. They’d broken through and found some version of crystal meth that Vamps could get high from. Until that point, they hadn’t been able to use any street drugs but pot. She didn’t know why, but she had no issues with it. Stoned Vampires just sort of sat around looking at the stars and stuff. They didn’t rip people to shreds and leave them in the desert. But meth? What about heroin or cocaine? What happened when a Vampire ran out of money and needed a fix?

  Such things fell under the designation, very bad.

  Glad she still had her ass-kicking boots on, she motored up to the private elevators. The attendant looked her up and down.

  “This is a private elevator. Guest room elevators are around the corner.”

  “Good to know should I ever actually stay. But I need this elevator to reach Clive Stewart. Go ahead and run along to tell him the Hunter is here. I’ll wait.”

  She turned her back on him, dismissing him entirely.

  If he didn’t hop to it, she had a great deal of tension that needed working out. Punching someone a few times was always a great stress reliever.

  Cheered, she turned as the elevator doors dinged open. His real personal assistant stepped out, looking even more pressed and steamed than her boss did. Until that moment, she’d thought it a feat totally unachievable.

  “Ms. Summerwaite. I’m Alice, Mr. Stewart’s assistant. Please, come with me. He was expecting you earlier, but got called into a meeting.”

  Rowan followed her into the elevator.

  “I’ve taken the liberty of having some food delivered. I hope you don’t mind. I imagine, given the report he just gave to his people, that you might need a few minutes to collect yourself and perhaps to rest and recharge.”

  It was hard not to appreciate Alice’s thoroughness. But not overly difficult to remember what she was. And what they weren’t. But Rowan did have manners, no matter what the other woman’s boss thought.

  “Thank you. Please inform him I will wait no longer than five minutes.”

  “I’ll let him know.” Alice smiled, just a brief flash. Rowan wondered if Alice gave Clive a rasher of shit and bet she did.

  That amused her enough to settle in at the pretty and elegant seating area near the windows. She hadn’t eaten in a while, not since lunch with Jack over twelve hours before. No harm in having at least two of those little tea sandwich things Susan loved so much.

  She’d planned to have dinner with the acolytes, maybe even spend the night at the ranch. She had a room there. They’d give her privacy. She’d be safe and taken care of and just for a few hours she could relax and let herself be. The lure of it had driven her out there in the first place.

  But, she thought as she sipped the lovely mango juice Alice had provided, Brigid had been right. Once she’d come back to herself, she knew she needed to confront Clive.

  Annoyance that she left behind peace and calm to come back to this mess of blood, politics, sex and violence was a fire she tried to ignore. It would do her no good to punch him in that perfect nose. Though she’d feel better for a little while.

  She snorted. His five minutes were up. Heaving a sigh, she gave in and gobbled up several more of the smoked-salmon-and-cucumber sandwiches before she made to leave. She’d made it to the elevator right as he exited.

  “Where in the hell did you hie off to? You were supposed to come right back here.” He had the audacity to look cool and collected, even as he was being a total dick.

  “Excuse me? Is there a dog or a cat in here you’re speaking to? Because we both know what a terrible disaster it would be for you to ever talk to me like that.”

  His pupils swallowed the color in his eyes and she had to work to hold her ground. Their energy, like a live thing in the room with them, sinuously made its way around them.

  “And then you come here and summon me,” he continued as if she had said nothing. “I’m not a fan of being summoned, Ms. Summerwaite.”

  “Who cares what you’re a fan of? How about you stick your shitty behavior right up your ass? Why didn’t you tell me?” Annoyed, she stepped up to him, knowing how stupid it was, she did it anyway.

  “Tell you what? What are you on about?”

  “Are you stupid? Really? Because the only way I could possibly believe you don’t know what I’m talking about is if you were stupid. You knew. You fucking asshole.” She resisted shoving him, only barely, by turning on her heel and giving herself desperately needed distance.

  “You came here six hours late to insult me?”

  “You’re not my boss, or my business manager. We’ll get to that part in a bit. Back to why you’re a total peen. You knew. You. Knew. How long have Vampires been getting blood highs from crystal meth?”

  He sighed, heavily, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is Vampire business.”

  “Dead human women are Vampire business now? Oh good, I’ll just send Jack your way the next time your little friend gets to work. I have a birthday trip to plan, I’d much rather be doing that than hanging out in meth-town messing up my manicure.”

  “You know what I mean by that.”

  “Maybe. Turns out I don’t care either way. ’Cause, in case you forgot, I have a business too. It’s to kill Vampires who make human women dead. This was something I needed to know.”

  “Why are you making this personal?”

  She looked around the room and then back to him. “Are we on a reality show? Next you’ll tell me you aren’t here to make friends. Then you’ll drink too much, have sex with a stranger in your hot tub and puke. Maybe you and I can have a spat about how you never wash the dishes.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She made the time-out signal with her hands. “Don’t pretend you don’t watch all those skeezy shows with floozies and himbos. Anyway, about your astounding behavior. Can you honestly stand there and say this stuff to me with a straight face? This is key information! I have wasted time and effort I could have better used to take this Vampire out. You let me twist, all the while knowing and not telling me. There aren’t words to describe how stabbity this makes me.”

  “I only got this information recently. Before the second murder. I have a request in to be heard by the Council about it. So I could share it with you.”

  “Excuses. I know you’re powerful enough to give him a call directly. I also can bet he told you to help me out. You’re wasting my time, dicking me around with this stupid shit.”

  “You know as well as I do, there are processes. I can’t just give you everything. My people distrust you. I have to go through all the steps.”

  “And to think I had actually achieved a mental place where I could exist without driving a stake into your chest.” Muttering, she stalked past him to the phone. She dialed the number she knew by heart and waited.

  “This is Rowan Summerwaite, I need to speak to The First.”

  Clive made contact with her shoulder. That was his mistake, but one she gleefully took advantage of, taking his hand and bending his wrist back, hard enough to make it hurt.

  He moved away with a snarl, his incisors gleaming. Her mental illness sent a thrill through her. It was the only way to explain why every time the man showed his true nature she liked it. If she wasn’t on the phone, she’d probably have done something totally inappropriate like kiss him. Or worse.

  “What is your problem?”

  “You are. Don’t touch me or I will rip that arm off and use the stump to fuck your face up. Asshole.”

  “Ah, hello there, petal. How are you, sweetest?” The amusement in his voice was clear. “Who is this asshole and shall I help you fuck his or her face up?”

  Both Rowan and Clive sprang backward, away from the other at the sound of Theo’s voice coming over the line.

  Petal, good Goddess, it had been a long time
since she’d heard him speak to her in any affectionate sense. She missed him, even as she hated him, he was, despite it all, her father. Closest thing she’d ever have to one in this life anyway.

  “Thank you for speaking with me.” Father or not, even Rowan didn’t mess around with Theo and his status. She feared very few people; he was at the top of her list.

  “I am always available when you need me. What do you require?”

  “I am attempting to keep the Nation from exposure, but am currently facing difficulties gaining all the information I need.”

  He laughed, rusty and sharp at the edges. “Do you expect otherwise? Why should we help the Hunters police us?”

  She bit back her first response, which she doubted he’d have seen the humor in. “Vater.” She swallowed, hard. Control was the only way to get what she wanted with him. If he made her lose it she came to him with nothing.

  In her mind’s eye she saw him. He’d be sitting in his favorite chair near the windows so he could look out at the world as he pleased. So very unearthly. Flawless. Pale, pale as moonlight skin, though his hair was still blond. His eyes were an unexciting sort of brown, but as bloodlust hit, their color deepened to port.

  He’d be amused, it was why he remained on the phone with her. That and she knew he missed her too, in his own way. But also quick to cut her off and side with Clive.

  “It is my job, the job of a Hunter to deal with Vampires breaking the treaty. Treaty notwithstanding, this Vampire’s manner is so out of control, so openly Other, the risk of exposure is very high. I am not asking for this information without a pressing reason. Delays will only harm the interests and safety of the Vampire Nation.”

  He was quiet, she knew, half daydreaming and half playing over the issues.

  “Is my Scion there?”

  She knew Clive could hear every word of the conversation, not that she’d planned to lie.

  “Yes. I’m standing in his, whatever you call this giant receiving room I’m sure no one ever uses.”

  Theo found this outrageously funny. For him, funny and insane were kissing cousins, so she always tread carefully, especially when he laughed. “Put me on speaker, or whatever it is that will allow me to address you both at the same time.”