Past Hurts (Sizzling Miami Book 1)

by Jessie G

  “Davin!” Before he could brace for it, Beth launched herself across the room, expecting that he would catch her as she wrapped herself around him. “You’re really here!”

  “I’m really here,” he choked, caught between the memory of her as a little girl and the reality of her as a grown woman. One he didn’t want to disappoint. But, while his arms lifted and hugged her back, every other part of him wanted to run away.

  “Just remember—” Alaric put a hand on his back, knowing he’d suffer the attention rather than dump Beth on her ass— "you wanted bacon.”

  Fucker. Where the hell was Mr. Protectiveness when he needed it? “Pumpkin, as much as I love the attention…”

  “Bethany Ann, stop hogging our boy.”

  Beth slid away with a little pout and then there was Claire. She didn’t launch herself at him. Instead she just stood there, lower lip trembling and tears in her eyes. It was foolish how much he loved this woman and when she reached out for a hug, he was powerless to resist.

  “Claire-bear, please don’t cry.”

  “They’re happy tears, I promise you.”

  “How much longer can this go on?” Alaric heaved a long-suffering sigh. “At this rate, your bacon is going to burn and I’m pretty sure that’s considered a crime in most states.”

  “Ric, you’ve had him all week.” If Davin hadn’t been looking over her shoulder, he might have missed the way Alaric winced and wondered if maybe he didn’t need to be protected from Claire too. “Give me a few minutes.”

  “Mother, dearest.” Was he grinding his teeth? Davin looked closer and yes; the always cool, always calm, always dutiful son was seething. “You’re drowning him in happy tears.”

  “I’m not. Davin would tell me.”

  No, not normally. He’d rather suffer through than hurt her. But he also didn’t want Alaric to suffer because he indulged her. “You don’t have to hold on so tight, Claire-bear. I’m not going to disappear.”

  “Do you promise?” she whispered, easing back to treat him to her sternest glare. While it was hardly intimidating on a regular day, the entire effect was ruined by her tears which, for Davin, was worse. “Never again?”

  “Never again,” he promised as he watched her tug on the hem of her blouse and pat her hair. Perfectly put together, just the way he remembered her.

  Then she turned and rolled her eyes at her son. “Yes, Ric, I made bacon.”

  “And French toast?” he demanded.

  “Of course. I know my boys.”

  That sentiment always warmed him, but it seemed to push Alaric over the edge. Davin wasn’t surprised when he found himself dragged over to the counter where the coffee pot sat, then tucked between the marble and Alaric’s body.

  “I promise I’m okay. I just wasn’t prepared.”

  “I’ll tell Beth not to do that anymore. At least, not until you’re ready.”

  “No. She won’t understand, and I really don’t want to explain. Besides—” he added because he wasn’t the only one who needed reassuring— "you’re here, so I know I’m safe.”

  “Without question, but just say the word and I’ll kick them all out.”

  “I love you for offering.” Whatever their reasons for being apart, their feelings had never died and for Davin, part of loving Alaric was loving Claire and Dante and Bethany. Now that they were here, uninvited and not entirely welcome, he wanted to talk to them, reconnect, and yes, reassure them. He hated seeing the tension between them, hated that he was part of the cause, and he would fix it if he could.

  But if there were sides, he was going to stand right by Alaric’s while he made their coffees and however long it took for him to be okay with this happening.

  “Where’s Dad?” Alaric finally asked. “I know you two didn’t drive across the Alley by yourselves.”

  Davin hid a grin when both women glared at Alaric, but even he knew they wouldn’t have crossed the stretch of I-75 that was known locally as Alligator Alley alone. He distinctly remembered another road trip, and a much younger Beth excitedly pointing out a pair sunning themselves alongside the road. She thought they were cute right up until Claire said they didn’t want to have car trouble where the hungry reptiles lived. He didn’t know what the statics were on driver’s being eaten, but he was pretty sure it didn’t happen as often as either woman believed.

  “He’s on the patio holding a protest.”

  “Bethany,” Claire warned with a shake of her head that might have worked when the girl was five but had no chance now.

  “Well, it’s true. He said we shouldn’t intrude, and we told him we’d drive over without him, and he said we’d wind up in the swamp. So, he drove us under duress.”

  Bethany kept talking, but Davin tuned her out. Aware of Alaric’s gaze following him, his curiosity won out and he went in search of the man in question. Sure enough, he found him in the lounge chair by the wall, protesting by working on his tan. “Beautiful morning.”

  “The rain has washed the earth clean again.” Dante shielded his eyes as he peered up at him with a teasing smile. “I, uh, found a pair of shorts on the floor and a t-shirt in the bushes. They’re under the towel on the side table.”

  Yeah, that wasn’t awkward at all. “Thanks. You know Ric’s always leaving his clothes wherever they land.”

  “Sadly, he comes by that naturally.” The shared laugh helped. “Beth and Claire were insistent, but we shouldn’t have intruded.”

  “You’re not. I was hoping we’d get to see each other again.”

  “There are so many things I wish we could change, but despite what he became, I’m sorry my son is dead.”

  Dante’s blunt words were a shock he definitely wasn’t expecting, and Davin found himself stepping back from the blow. When Dante jumped up, as if he were going to follow or grab him or…Davin didn’t know, but it made him take another step back. Was Alaric right to be on guard?

  “Wait! Please. That came out wrong. I… I’m not good at all this shit like Claire and I’m not sure how to handle the reality that my son was a monster and I’m sorry for what he did to you, but I’m not sorry that his death brought you home.” Dante cursed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “That sounds worse, doesn’t it? I’m messing this up, but I swear, I love you like you’re one of my own and I never believed what Terence told us.”

  In a really fucked up roundabout way, he understood. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “Do you think—” Dante took a half a step closer. “Is it all right if I hug you?”

  It barely lasted longer than a second, but not by much, and in Dante’s case it was quality over quantity. Davin was just grateful that he asked permission first. Hugging hadn’t been a part of the Monroe household, and it wasn’t until he met the Bennetts that he developed a taste for it. If he could get over his touch issue, he wouldn’t mind enjoying it again.

  As they separated, Davin ducked his head, both to hide his smile and his regrets. “For someone not really good at this shit, you really nailed it.”

  Dante cleared his throat and grinned. “I heard a rumor that Claire is making bacon and French toast. We should probably get in there before Ric eats it all.”

  Davin nodded and walked toward where Alaric was leaning against the sliding door. When he got near, Alaric caught him against his side and kissed a stray tear from the corner of his eye. With a questioning glance at his father, he asked, “Under duress, huh?”

  “That’s my story, son.” With a smile and a pat on the back, Dante walked inside to give them some privacy.

  “Now that you’ve been molested by every member of my family, do you still think the bacon is worth it?”

  Watching Alaric realize what he said was like witnessing a car crash that couldn’t be prevented, and for some reason, Davin found it hilarious. He didn’t need Alaric to explain that he didn’t mean it the way it sounded or any of that nonsense. He knew and that allowed him to laugh at the most off-color, inappropriate, potent
ial disastrous slip of the tongue ever.

  “That was horrible! Why are you laughing? You’re insane.” But he couldn’t stop and then Alaric started, and it felt so good to be able to do that together. “What kind of weirdo did I fall for?”

  When Alaric shifted, Davin caught sight of their audience doing nothing to hide their interest. He didn’t remember them being so blatantly nosy before, and he was beginning to understand why Alaric was wary. Maybe it was best to get the visit over with so they could be back on their way. “We should—”

  “I’m falling behind, aren’t I?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you’re putting the pieces back together faster than I am.”

  Was he? He felt better than he had in a long time, that was true. And he had clarity now, both from their conversations and the realizations he made about himself. But he was able to do that because Alaric gave him a safe place, encouraged him, and made him want to get better. So, how could he be ahead when Alaric had done all the work?

  “If that’s true, I don’t think you’ll have any problem catching up.” Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to Alaric’s mouth and said, “Let’s get breakfast over with so they can leave, and you can take me back to bed.”

  “Deal.”

  He didn’t know what he was getting himself into, but he was ready to clear the air and move them all forward.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Alaric

  “We’re not going to cart this stuff back to Miami, are we?” Davin shook out a Sanibel t-shirt from the clothes he’d washed and held it up for Alaric’s inspection before he folded it and added it to the growing pile.

  Alaric sat on the bed and watched him, searching for signs that he was upset. “No, we’ll leave them here in case you ever get the harebrained idea to disappear again.”

  “That sounds good. I was growing fond of the obnoxious swimsuits.”

  “Uh huh.” The clothes served a purpose. Now they would sit in a drawer. Why were they talking about them when they had more important things to discuss? “I really wish I had been able to give you two weeks.”

  “You’re a big important corporate man now and people are counting on you.” Davin never lost his smile as he continued to fold and stack in preparation for their early departure.

  Alaric grunted, “Big maybe, important is debatable.”

  “That one track mind of yours never disappoints.”

  After breakfast, Dante pulled Alaric aside to discuss work. Though his father built the company from the ground up, Alaric had created whole new divisions, negotiated major contracts, and handled projects that Dante just wasn’t capable of handling. Alaric believed his team could handle it temporarily, but it seemed a two-week spur of the moment vacation was asking too much. The way Dante made it sound, he was surprised they got a week.

  “Stop worrying,” Davin stressed. “You worked hard to be in the position you’re in and you’re doing what you love. My request was unreasonable, and I love that you tried to fulfill it but, Ric, I don’t expect you to rearrange your life for me. That was never part of our relationship in the past and I don’t want it in anything we do going forward.”

  Maybe if they had been building their life together all this time, that would work. Instead, they’d been building separate lives and in order to merge them together, they would both have to make changes. “You might not expect it, but our lives have already changed, Davin, and I’m ready to rearrange everything if it means having a future with you.”

  “You haven’t asked me what I plan to do.”

  “As long as we both want the same thing, I figure you’ll tell me when you decide.”

  “There’s no question we want the same thing.” With the clothes put away, Davin came to sit beside him and took his hand, watching as their fingers curled together. “The reality is you are a big important corporate man now. You can’t whisk me away every time I crash. What you did this trip, it’s beyond description and I love you so much for it. Going forward, though, if you try to take it on every time, I’ll become a burden instead of a partner and I don’t want that for us.”

  “No, I may not be able to whisk you away every time, but never for a second think your needs are a burden to me.”

  “And your needs are not a burden to me.” Davin lifted their joined hands to his mouth and nipped at his knuckle. “Right now, your company needs you and you need to fix whatever problem has come up. I understand that you’re conflicted because you want to take care of me too, but you’ve already done that. You’ve made me whole again here.” He placed their hands over his heart. “And whatever tomorrow has in store for us, I trust that we’ll face it together.”

  “That is not going to inspire me to leave, Davin. It’s only going to make me want to throw you down on the bed.”

  “There’ll be another bed tonight, won’t there?”

  “Definitely.” And every night after that, if he had his way.

  “Then we should get on the road or you’ll never be back in time for your afternoon meeting.”

  He appreciated Davin’s concern for his business, his feelings toward his responsibility and his schedule. He really did. But they were going back without having talked about the future. What would their new life look like? Dating sounded awful. Just the idea of scheduling time to meet for whatever, then retreating to separate lives, seemed counterproductive to moving forward.

  “Ric?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What’s going on up there?”

  “You said I wouldn’t have any trouble catching up. But the more I observe you—and you know I can’t seem to stop myself from watching your every move—it occurs to me that while I was trying to be cautious, you sprinted right past of me.”

  “Have I? I feel better, that’s for sure. Don’t you?”

  Alaric hadn’t really thought about it. Learning the truth and knowing he hadn’t lost Davin’s trust was huge. Working through the past misunderstandings was hard and necessary. Finally knowing exactly what Davin suffered left a crack on his heart that he wasn’t sure would ever heal. But did he feel better? He supposed he felt lighter and more confident that they would be okay, but he wouldn’t feel better until he knew what would happen next.

  “I think you do, but you can’t seem to figure out how to let the caution go. The worry that you might say or do something to set us back. I worry about that too, but…we can’t let that hold us back. Right? So, just let go.”

  Let go? He used those same words when they first arrived and while Davin had said he couldn’t, he obviously had. Now he was giving the same advice, and Alaric didn’t know how to follow it. Could he just let go and ask Davin to move in with him? Or maybe he could just let go and ask Davin to quit his job? The first might come as a surprise to Davin, but the second wouldn’t, and Alaric didn’t know why he couldn’t ask. “I’ll work on it.”

  “Good. Are we ready then?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  Satisfied, Davin walked over to the safe and started pulling out his stuff. They were both wearing the clothes they’d arrived in and now Alaric watched him complete that transformation. Wallet and badge in his back pocket, gun tucked into the shoulder harness, backup gun in the boot, keys and phone in the front pocket. It was a costume really and when Davin turned to face him, he saw the mask was back in place.

  If he needed a reason why he didn’t feel better, he needn’t look any further. Annoyed to see it, he strode across the room and took his warrior’s face in his hands, kissing him without giving him a chance to brace for it. Kissing him until the want and need were licking through them both. Kissing him until the mask slipped and his Davin returned.

  “Now I’m ready.”

  Only, he wasn’t ready three hours later when he guided the car off the highway and realized he was only minutes from watching Davin walk away. “Where do you want to go?”

  “Oh, uhm, I guess the precinct. My bike is still in there.”

/>   That was the last place he wanted to leave Davin. “You still have a few days before you have to report to work.”

  “I’m just going to pick up my bike.”

  Alaric believed he meant it, which is why he turned in that direction. He just didn’t think that’s the way it was going to happen. “Okay. What will you do after that?”

  “Probably head home and see what mail needs to be tackled.”

  “And then?” Davin shrugged and it pissed Alaric off. “When can I see you again?”

  “You mean like a date? Are we going to date now?” That had Davin looking at him again, his mouth twisted in distaste. “I thought we said, uh…”

  For a second, Alaric drew a blank, and then it hit him. Words spoken just a few hours before. There’ll be another bed tonight, won’t there? Davin had already told him when and where. Pulling into a spot a half a block from the precinct, he cut the engine and sighed.

  “Ric, I thought we were on the same page.”

  “We are.” They would be as long as he kept his head in the game and stopped fucking up. “I’ll see you after my meetings. I don’t know how late it’ll run, but I’ll be there.”

  “That’s better.” Davin leaned over for a quick kiss and then hopped out of the car before he could return it. Before closing the door, he ducked down and grinned. “I love you, you love me, now get your head out of your ass.”

  Those words were still playing in his head when he let himself into Davin’s quiet apartment later that night and knew, before he saw the note, that his detective wasn’t there.

  Caught a case. Sorry, D.

  Physically and mentally exhausted, Alaric crumpled up the note and continued on to the bedroom. He’d be there whenever Davin got home, supportive and determined to fit their lives back together, just like he promised.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight