Past Hurts (Sizzling Miami Book 1)

by Jessie G

  “I’ll shower and we’ll head over.” Davin looked at Juan as he clicked off the call.

  “’K, I’m just going to close my eyes for a few.”

  Alaric followed and reached for him as the bedroom door closed. “Stop for one second and look at me.”

  He still felt pretty solid, but he looked at Alaric, knowing that this had to be a devastating blow. There would be no way to keep it out of the press, no way to hide it from the family. All those years protecting the Bennett name was about to go up in smoke.

  “You’ve hit cop mode. I see it in your face, in your bearing, and it’s going to be non-stop until you find the partner. But don’t for a second think you’re doing this without me, so you’ll find a way for me to help on the case.”

  Davin never thought about doing it without him and wasn’t sure why Alaric was posing it as a challenge. This didn’t have to be a battle between them. “I planned to talk to the Captain about bringing you on as a consultant.”

  “Good. Now let’s get the air cleared between us now.”

  “I really am fine.” He considered playing stupid, but that wasn’t going to help either. “We don’t have to do this now.”

  “Yes, we do, so it doesn’t muck things up later. No more hiding.”

  “What do you want me to say? That if I reported him when it happened, then no one else would’ve gotten hurt?”

  “If that’s what you’re thinking, then yes, that’s what I want you to say.” Alaric squeezed his hand, both in comfort and commiseration, and added, “Because I can’t help thinking if my father hadn’t been so intent on sweeping his mess under the rug, and I hadn’t been so blind to the violence in him, no one, especially you, would have gotten hurt.”

  “We were so young, Ric, there was no way you could have stopped him.” Davin understood that Alaric was trying to make him feel better about his own inaction, but he was getting worried about Alaric’s need to assume responsibility for something no one could have controlled. “And if Dante had seen it, what could he have done? Rehab only works if the person wants to get better and jail…”

  Davin shook his head. Some people went to jail once, learned their lesson, and never crossed the line again. But others thrive and become more dangerous than before they went in. Inside, they network with like-minded offenders, learn new and dirtier tricks, and all the while their anger is festering into something that can’t be controlled. They could talk about all the things they should have done, but Terence was born out of control and the only lesson he would have learned in jail was patience.

  “If he’d gone to jail for what he did to you, how many years would he have served?”

  “Not enough.” He lost count how many times he and Sully bitched about the criminal catch and release program. They were working their asses off to put the monsters behind bars, and they never stayed there. “And we both know he would have started again when he got out.”

  “Exactly. These victims are not on you.”

  “Or you.”

  They were giving themselves a pass, but Davin knew if they really believed what they were saying, they wouldn’t be so determined to bring the partner to justice. The unknown man had unwittingly become their second chance to do the right thing and neither of them would stop until he was caught. He didn’t need to say it out loud, he could see the knowledge in the gaze staring steadily back at him.

  Finally, Alaric nodded and said, “I don’t want you to think about protecting my family now. You do what you need to do. We Bennetts are strong enough to handle whatever comes our way.”

  “Okay, but after we meet with James, we should go over there. I don’t want them to find out when it hits the papers. No—” Davin could see the refusal in Alaric’s face and was quick to shut him down. "I’m coming with you and that’s all there is to it.”

  “Then you know I’m coming with you to talk to the Captain.”

  “I never thought I’d be able to stop you.”

  Captain James looked annoyed when he answered the door still dressed in his pajamas and robe, and that turned to confusion when he saw who Davin brought with him. “What the hell is going on, Monroe?”

  “The foyer isn’t exactly the right place for it.”

  “Fine, fine, follow me. Everyone’s still asleep.” He led the way to his office and held the door as they filed past, then closed them in before whirling on Alaric. “You look familiar. Do I know you?”

  “Sorry, Captain, this is Alaric Bennett, my partner.”

  As they shook hands, James eyed Davin darkly. “The brother of one of Elias’s victims?”

  ‘Yes, sir.”

  “Fuck me sideways, Monroe, why the hell didn’t you take yourself off the case?”

  “Sir, before you go full steam on this, my relationship with Ric had no bearing on the Elias case.” While not exactly true, Davin couldn’t explain how Alaric helped and still expect to keep his job. “I had four victims before I rolled Terence on that beach. There was nobody who knew the case the way I did and no one better to close it.”

  “Maybe so, but you should have been upfront with me immediately. How can I protect you if you’re keeping secrets from me?”

  “It was complicated, and I honestly wasn’t ready to bring my personal life to the office.” He still wasn’t, but there was no choice anymore. “If you’ll just sit down and listen?”

  James sat and Juan practically collapsed into a matching chair. Alaric wasn’t interested in sitting, so he stood with his back against the door, arms crossed over his chest, the expensive cut of his clothes in no way minimizing the masculinity he wore like a second skin. Davin stood as well—the hunt had its hooks in him now and he wouldn’t really sit until his prey was caught.

  “When I was twenty-one, Terence Bennett set me up to be assaulted in a bar in Hialeah.” Having never actually uttered those words out loud, Davin wasn’t prepared to feel nothing when he finally did. He looked at Alaric quickly, letting him see that he was still all right, then looked back at the Captain who clearly was not.

  With his audience stunned silent, he unloaded all of it on his Captain. On the way over, they decided Juan wouldn’t speak unless directly spoken to and that he would just go along with whatever Davin told the Captain about the timeline on the data collection. For the most part, he went with full disclosure, explaining his relationship with the Bennetts before the attack, his need to protect them from the truth after, and Alaric’s attempts to get his brother help in the years since.

  “The day we closed the case, Ric and his father let me into Terence’s apartment to do the second search and they allowed me to take a backpack full of electronics back for evidence. Turned out we didn’t need it, but Juan had already set it up to be processed, then forgot about it.” Choosing his words cautiously, he continued, “He discovered the diaries and started compiling the data—all the dates, names, and details in an attempt to cross-reference them with cold cases. Out of consideration for what he found out about me, he wanted to tell me first. We both know I’ve been in deep on that pedophile case in Homestead, so he sat on it for a couple of days until he could get me alone.”

  James looked at Juan and Davin could guess what he was thinking. The tech guru was fastidious when it came to his job. He wouldn’t have forgotten a backpack full of electronics. But Davin had him into backed a corner and they all knew it.

  Finally, he looked away and focused on Davin. “So, there’s another predator out there?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And you want permission to run primary on a guy who was probably there the night you were attacked?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  James turned his narrow-eyed stare on Alaric and demanded, “And you brought your partner because?”

  “He’s the best Computer Scientist I know—no offense to Juan. Ric carries dual Master’s in digital forensics and data structure, and it was his expertise that transformed the Bennett Group from the server market to digital security and encryp
tion. The MPD has limited resources and we’d be fools to ignore the offer of help.”

  “You said Juan already processed the laptop.”

  “Sir, if I may?” Juan perked up in interest at the thought of working with Alaric. “I only processed one laptop, there were two, plus tablets, burner phones and flash drives. Terence Bennett does not name his partner in the diaries, at least not so far as I read into them. We need all the data to find this guy before he regroups and starts doing this on his own.”

  “We’ve given you full disclosure.” Davin could see the Captain weakening and quickly jumped back in. “There will be no surprises about our relationship to the case or each other. It’s going to put the Bennett name in the crosshairs, and he’s still willing to help.”

  “You have to set up a fully transparent chain of custody and communication. There can’t be any suspicion that the Bennetts are doing this to hide evidence.”

  Alaric’s frown darkened at the implication, but he picked up his cue and offered, “If you're agreeable, Juan can be the liaison. We’ll work together at the precinct and in my offices and he’ll have full privileges at Bennett Group until the case is closed.”

  James scoffed, “Full privileges?”

  “As pertains to the case, yes.”

  James scowled and looked around the room, making sure to hit every one of them with his anger. “Monroe, if you weren’t the best fucking detective on the force right now, I’d send you all packing. You know that, right?”

  “I do, sir.”

  “And you know if there is even a hint of a tampering, this case will be a bust?”

  “Full transparency, full disclosure, all the way around.”

  “The papers are going to have a field day with you.”

  “I don’t read the papers.” And now that he and Alaric were back together, he was giving up the tabloids to. “You just keep the press out of my face, and we’ll be fine.”

  “Fine, huh? And what about you?” He glared at Alaric. “Your family is going to be harassed everywhere they go.”

  “So? There’s a rapist on the streets and we both know Davin isn’t going to stop until he finds this guy. We can either support him because he’s the best one to do it or we can make his job that much harder.” Alaric stepped forward until they were standing shoulder to shoulder and challenged, “I’m ready to support him, Captain, are you?”

  Chapter Thirty

  Alaric

  Just when it seemed like the past and Terence’s legacy no longer had the power to hurt, it had to rear its ugly head again. Though it hadn’t seemed possible that there could be anything worse than what he had done to Davin, every revelation was more horrific than the last.

  Privately, Alaric was forced to admit that after decades of trying to help and getting pushed away every time, he had given up. It was easier to write a check than it was to confront because Terence never wanted to get better. Now he could only wonder what the hell could be next. Was this the last skeleton in Terence’s closet? Would his family stand strong like he promised Davin and was Davin as unaffected as he appeared?

  Alaric felt like he’d been primed all day for the moment when Davin’s armor would crack, but he’d been a rock from that first meeting with Juan, to explaining the details to Captain James, to preparing his family. The evening news was already running the story of the SVU cop’s sordid relationship with his attacker’s brother. Yet Davin hadn’t so much as blinked when he took the remote to click the television off.

  Not worth watching, he murmured. Then he walked off toward the kitchen, flipped on the iPod dock, and went about making dinner. If that wasn’t proof that Davin was light years ahead of him, Alaric didn’t know what was. All he knew was it was time to catch up fast before he was the reason they failed.

  “I don’t think that view will ever get old.” From his chair on the balcony, he watched Davin walk to the railing and lift his face up to the breeze. Alaric agreed, the view and this secluded space was why he purchased the condo. Until Davin came back into his life, this had been his refuge. The place where he went to work through the things he could never show anyone else. “You never asked me what I planned to do.”

  “I know you’ll tell me when you figure it out.”

  “I already figured it out, I just wanted to make it special. There was going to be candlelight and between bouts of great sex and great food, I was going to tell you that I was leaving the force.” Davin chuckled and shook his head. “It was going to be really sappy too.”

  “We can still do that…after.” After they put Terence and his problems to rest forever. They had no choice. They couldn’t let his legacy rule the rest of their lives, so they had to see it through. “Right now, I’d love to know what made you decide.”

  “I’m ready to be happy and, right or wrong, making you happy is part of that. And when I’m not all about you, I want to find my passion because I don’t know if it’s in architecture and finding the perfect old house to refurbish or if there is something else inside just waiting to come out. I haven’t looked there in a very long time, but I want to. I’ll never be idle, never truly be dependent, so I’ll find it and craft it into a business where I love what I do. But I need to be yours first because being yours has always been the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.”

  “Davin, you have always been mine.” Had he thought he’d merely fallen behind?

  “It hasn’t always felt that way. I’ve been lost for so long, Ric.”

  “Dav, I swear I won’t let that happen again.”

  “I already know that, Ric.” Davin gripped the railing until his knuckles turned white and sucked in a sharp breath. “I was just worried that you didn’t. You said I passed you when all I did was put the past back where it belonged. I’m over that night and the lost years and the pain and all of that destructive crap. None of that belongs in our future.”

  This was his moment to catch up. To follow Davin’s example and finally allow himself to look forward instead of back. To believe in a future where they built a wonderful life together without fear or regret. If Davin could do that despite the case that just landed in his lap, then Alaric had to because his focus had to be on supporting his Detective, now and forever.

  “The Ric I want trusts in our individual strength and knows that we’re even stronger together. That’s our power dynamic and it only works for me with you.” Turning from the view, Davin eased down to kneel at his feet. It was neither submissive nor dramatic, it was just Davin. “Having you be cautious with me, not trusting in the strength I get from being exactly who I am with you, it breaks my heart.”

  Brushing a hand over Davin’s jaw, Alaric pulled him closer and leaned forward to meet his kiss. “When I look at you, I see a warrior who is strong and smart, and able to handle anything. Then I close my eyes and think of you all alone in that motel, hurt with no one to take care of you.”

  Or the intervening years, when Davin had taken on the world with nothing and no one to support him. He thought about the night Davin got shot while on call and how, when he got to the hospital, the nurses were so relieved because they hadn’t been able to locate a next of kin. Davin had been sedated and didn’t know he was there, but Alaric would never forget seeing him so vulnerable. Worse, he only knew about the shooting because it made the news, and that made him worry about all the incidents he didn’t know about.

  “There is a huge part of me that wants to protect you from everything, but I know you’re not a victim. I know that each time you got knocked down, you put yourself back together and you didn’t need me to do it.”

  “That’s it, isn’t it? Because I did it without you?”

  Was he really being that egotistical? How many times had he learned something about Davin, felt pride in his accomplishment, then felt rejected by the knowledge that he wasn’t part of it? That he wasn’t needed. Were he and Terence more alike than not?

  “Ric?”

  “Do you think I’m like my brother?”r />
  “No!” Davin reared back and demanded, “Where the hell did that come from?”

  “What kind of man wants to possess and control another? What kind of man needs to be needed so badly that he gets upset when he’s not?”

  “You aren’t describing Terence at all. He didn’t care about possession or control or being needed, he just wanted to hurt people. His whole purpose was inflicting pain on as many people as possible.” Eyes blazing, he hissed, “Do not ever confuse yourself with Terence again.”

  “We both have dark places inside us.”

  “Who the fuck doesn’t? You think I don’t have them too? Do you need me to remind you how I felt when I knew Terence was dead?” The snap in Davin’s voice was harsh enough to leave a mark and just what Alaric needed. “That morning in my father’s house when you kissed me, did you think about owning me? Was that the first fucking thought that popped into your head?”

  “First thought? I’d kissed you without knowing for sure that you were gay, and it could have blown up in my face. Then, when it didn’t, I thought about kissing you again. After that, I just wanted to be the person you could confide in and trust with the all the pain I saw in you.”

  “When did it hit you that you wanted to own me? Did you just wake up one day and say, I must possess and control this man?” Davin held up a hand, stopping his response, and answered his own question. “The answer is no. Do you know why? Because that isn’t just your need, it’s our mutual need. The seamless link between us. Everything you want from me is everything I want from you. It’s beautiful and don’t you dare tell me it’s not.”

  “It is beautiful, Dav. It is, but—” It was his turn to hold up his hand. He needed to get this out and he needed Davin to hear it. And maybe to convince him he was wrong. “You already know I was keeping tabs on you. But you don’t know how proud I was every time you closed a case or got promoted or how upset I was that I wasn’t there to celebrate those victories with you.”