Falling Hard (Colorado High Country #3)

by Pamela Clare

  It looked as beautiful as he’d hoped it would—three dozen perfect, long-stemmed roses in a crystal vase.

  “Oh, my God. They’re beautiful.” Ellie looked up at Jesse through wide green eyes. “Are these from you?”

  “You’d better read the card and find out.”

  She set the flowers down in the center of the table behind the photos of the twins, then took out the card, opened it, and read it silently.

  Jesse had worked long and hard on that card and had the words memorized.

  My dearest Ellie,

  Three years ago today, you gave birth to two beautiful babies. You were alone then, facing motherhood by yourself. Here are three dozen roses, a dozen for each year you raised Daniel and Daisy on your own.

  I wasn’t there then, but I’m here now. You will never be alone again.

  Love,

  Jesse

  Tears filled her eyes, and she pressed the fingertips of her right hand to her lips. Her head bowed for a moment, her eyes squeezed shut. Then she looked up at him, tears on her cheeks, a quavering smile on her lips. She set the card down and slid into his embrace. “I love you.”

  Ellie made a trip out to the recycling bin with cardboard and wrapping paper, a warm glow in her chest. She wasn’t sure she’d ever gotten a gift that had touched her more than the roses Jesse had given her today. Somehow, he understood how difficult it had been to become a mother when her husband had just died. Everyone else had told her how lucky she was to have the twins, ignoring her grief and loneliness. But with just a few words, Jesse had acknowledged the hardship of these past three years. Instantly, it had all seemed easier.

  Well, she had a surprise for him, too.

  She waited until everyone had gone home and the kids were in bed, then snuggled up beside him on the couch with a glass of wine, the house filled with the scent of roses. “The roses, the card—that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

  He kissed her temple. “I’m glad you liked them.”

  They talked about the party—and the ridiculous number of toys her sister had gotten for the kids.

  Then Ellie changed the subject. “I’ve got something for you.”

  “You do?”

  She let a sultry tone slide into her voice. “It’s in the bedroom.”

  He nuzzled her ear. “I like surprises that happen in the bedroom.”

  She stood, set her wine down, and drew him after her. “I have something that needs to be filled. Can you fill it for me?”

  “I’m happy to die trying.”

  Fighting not to laugh, she led him to her bedroom and flicked on the light, then drew him over to the closet and opened the door. “Jesse, I want you to fill … my closet.”

  He took in the sight of the empty shelves on the left—and the open rack. Then he stepped back, his head turning as he glanced around her bedroom. “The photos of Dan—they’re gone.”

  He took her left hand, his brow furrowed. “Your wedding ring. You took it off.”

  “I’ve had it off all evening. You didn’t notice the things missing from the mantel either.” She pointed to the flag and shadow box on her dresser, then told him how she’d spent the day sorting through all of Dan’s things. “I put off dealing with this for so long. When I dropped his clothes off at the thrift store, I felt so much lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my chest.”

  Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “Why did you do this now?”

  Was she moving too fast for him?

  “I want you to move in with us. I’m tired of you having to run up the mountain every time you need to change clothes. I hate that you have to get up earlier in the morning just to get all your gear. I made room for you, Jesse.”

  “I’m touched. I really am. But what will I do with my cabin?”

  She’d thought about that. “You could rent it. You could keep it as a man cave.”

  He chuckled. “That would be one hell of a man cave.”

  She unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “We could use it for secret trysts.”

  “Now you’re talking.” He bent down and kissed her, the two of them still standing in her closet doorway. “So, you want to live in sin, is that it?”

  She didn’t want to rush him. “Only if you’re ready.”

  He nudged her with his erection. “With you, I’m always ready.”

  Epilogue

  “I think this is as close as we’re going to get.” Jesse pulled into a parking place and turned off their rental car, then glanced at the app on his smartphone, his tan beret tucked into the front pocket of his dress blues.

  Ellie slipped her handbag over her shoulder, picked up roses she’d brought, then stepped out of the car and smoothed the wrinkles out of her black linen dress. She glanced around. Nothing seemed familiar. Then again, it had been four years since she’d been here, and she’d been numb with grief.

  She got Daniel out of his car seat and straightened his little suit. Jesse joined her with Daisy in his arms. They sat both kids down on the nearest bench, and she knelt in front of them, looking them straight in the eyes. “Do you remember what I told you? We’re in a very special place. You can’t run or play here, and you can only use your inside voices, okay? No yelling or being noisy.”

  “Okay,” said Daniel.

  Daisy squirmed.

  Ellie stood again. “I’m not sure where to go from here.”

  Jesse pulled his beret out of his pocket and put it on. “Section sixty is over there.”

  He picked up Daisy and started down the sidewalk.

  Ellie took Daniel’s hand and followed.

  She’d come to Washington, D.C., for a nursing conference, and they’d decided to make a family vacation of it. She had attended only the workshops she’d needed to attend to keep her certifications current, giving them time to visit the sights.

  But today, they weren’t tourists. They had come to Arlington National Cemetery to pay their respects. It had been Jesse’s idea, but as soon as he’d mentioned it, she’d been on board. Dan had never seen his kids, and they had never known him.

  Today, she would take them to his grave.

  The June sunshine was warm, the air much more humid than she was used to, living in Colorado.

  “Over here.” Jesse pointed, waiting for Ellie and Daniel to catch up.

  Section 60 had more graves than she remembered, but then soldiers were still fighting and dying in Iraq.

  Jesse turned down a row and stopped, setting Daisy down. “Hey, Christine. So, this is where they put you.”

  Ellie walked up, watching as Jesse paid his respects to the woman who had died in his arms. He knelt down, touched the white marble headstone, then pulled the chocolate bar out of his pocket.

  “I brought you chocolate. It’s Godiva—the dark stuff you like so much.” He was quiet for a moment, and Ellie knew this was hard for him. “You begged me not to let you die, and I did my best. It just wasn’t enough. I’m so sorry, Christine. If I could have taken that blast for you, if I could have caught that shrapnel, I would have. If I could have worked miracles… I was supposed to protect you, but… There was just no way.”

  Ellie blinked away tears. She had promised herself she would not cry today. She wanted this to be a positive experience for the kids, something they remembered not with fear, but with reverence and happiness. Still, she knew how hard Jesse had worked to put aside the sense of guilt he’d carried with him since the day of Christine’s death, and it was impossible not to get choked up.

  He unpinned a medal from his uniform. “They gave me this for that day. Bunch of idiots. I want you to have it.”

  He placed the medal on the chocolate bar and bowed his head, his eyes squeezed shut. When he got to his feet, there were tears on his face.

  Ellie handed him a red rose.

  He took the flower and stood it up against the headstone. “Rest easy, Christine.”

  He stepped back, stood at attention, and saluted.

  They st
arted toward Dan’s grave, stopping along the way so Jesse could pay his respects to some of the men he’d fought with, fellow Rangers, men he’d known well. They left roses on each of their graves, too, each visit ending with Jesse giving a salute.

  Another row down and one over.

  The breath left Ellie’s lungs.

  Oh, my God.

  Daniel Thomas Meeks

  Captain

  US Army

  Iraq

  Dec 15 1985

  Oct 5 2013

  Silver Star

  Loving husband and son

  Operation Enduring Freedom

  Ellie knelt in front of his grave marker, the grass cool and damp against her bare knees. She ran her hand over the smooth marble and traced his name with her finger, tears blurring her vision. The headstone hadn’t been there on the day of his funeral service. She had never seen it in person.

  How strange it was to think that his body had been here every day since then, under sun, stars, rain, and snow, while the world had moved on without him.

  “Daniel and Daisy, look,” she said when she could talk. “This is your daddy’s grave. When his spirit went up to become an angel, his body was buried here. Can you tell your daddy hello so he knows you’re here?”

  Daisy reached out and patted the marble as if to comfort it. “Hello.”

  Daniel followed his sister’s lead, doing the same. “Hello.”

  “Dan, here they are—your twins. They’re three now. You wouldn’t believe how sweet and smart they are. Daniel looks just like you. Everyone says so. I named him Daniel Otis. I just couldn’t name him Otis Henry. Sorry. Daisy has the name you picked for her—Daisy Mae.”

  “I’m Daisy Mae,” Daisy said.

  “Yes, sweetie, you are.” Ellie reached into her handbag and took out the bag of things that people in Scarlet Springs had put together for Dan. “I brought some things—a little care package from home.”

  And for a moment it was too much, tears spilling down her cheeks.

  A big hand came to rest on her shoulder, gave her a gentle squeeze, Jesse standing behind her now, giving her his support.

  She wiped the tears off her face, reached into the bag, and pulled out a photo of Denver’s football team. “Austin and Eric wanted you to have this photo from our last Super Bowl win. They’re both married now. Austin married Lexi like we always thought he would. They have an adorable baby girl. She has Lexi’s red hair.”

  Ellie reached into the bag again, pulled out a tiny bottle of scotch. “Caribou Joe from Knockers sent a shot. Remember him? Joe Moffat? He tells me I have to pour it out like they did in the old days, so get ready.”

  She opened the little bottle and poured the amber liquid onto the grass where it met the marble, a libation for a fallen warrior.

  “Rose sent a sage candle.” She pulled it together with matches out of the bag and lit it, the breeze making the flame flutter, the faint scent of sage rising in the air. “She said something about it purifying this space and freeing your soul.”

  Ellie laughed at that, then took out her gift to him. “I brought pictures of Daisy and Daniel. I wanted you to be able to keep these.”

  She put double-sided tape on the back of the photos, which were laminated to protect them from the weather. Then she let the kids stick their pictures on the back of the headstone one at a time. “Good job. Now your daddy can keep pictures of you with him.”

  “Can my daddy see me?” Daisy asked.

  Ellie didn’t know for certain, but what could she say? “Yes, sweetie.”

  Daniel stepped up. “Can he see me, too?”

  “Yes, honey, he sees you, too. He loves you both very much.”

  But Ellie had more to say to Dan. “Dan, you made me promise I would move on if anything happened to you. I wanted you to know that I’m engaged. I’m marrying Jesse Moretti. He was an Army Ranger. You flew him and his men in your Black Hawk a bunch of times. He says you even saved his life. I love him, Dan. He’s so good to me. He’s good to the kids, too. He made me feel alive again, and we’re happy together. We haven’t set a date yet, but I wanted you to know.”

  Talking to Dan like this was harder than Ellie had imagined, tears filling her eyes again, happiness and grief tangled inside her. “We’ve started the adoption process so that Jesse can adopt the kids. It makes a lot of things easier and helps protect them. But Daniel and Daisy will always know that you are their father. We’ve decided that they’ll keep your last name. I don’t want to take that from you.”

  She lay the rest of the flowers on his grave. “We will never forget you.”

  She stood, smoothed her dress. “Kids, can you say goodbye?”

  Daniel waved. “Bye, Daddy.”

  Daisy hugged the marble stone, an angelic smile on her face. “Bye-bye, Daddy.”

  Ellie turned to Jesse.

  He wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs, kissed her. “Can I have a moment alone with him?”

  “Sure.” Ellie took the kids by the hand and went to sit on a nearby bench, emotionally drained.

  She watched while Jesse knelt down. He looked so handsome in his dress blues with all of his medals and that tan beret, though it had cost him emotionally to put on the uniform again. She tried to make out what he was saying but caught only bits of it.

  “Thanks for keeping my men and me alive… I love her with everything I am… really does look just like you… sweetest little girl in the world… promise to take care of them… all I can to make her happy.”

  He got to his feet, stepped back, and saluted, holding the salute for a solid few minutes. Then he reached down. “Rest in peace, Crash. I’ll take it from here.”

  Ellie’s throat went tight, a bittersweet ache in her chest.

  Somewhere in the distance, rifles fired a salute.

  Jesse threaded his way over to her, his gaze meeting hers, the love she saw there making her heart swell.

  She stood, slipped into the sanctuary of his embrace, the feel of his arms around her smoothing away her jagged edges.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She smiled, nodded. “Yeah. How about you?”

  “I’m good. I thought that since these monkeys were so good, we should go get some ice cream.” He scooped the kids up, one in each arm. “You want ice cream?”

  The kids nodded, big smiles on their faces.

  In the distance, a bugler was playing “Taps.”

  A life ended. A new life beginning.

  Ellie sent a silent farewell to Dan, then fell in beside Jesse, the path ahead of them bright with sunshine.

  Also by Pamela Clare

  Romantic Suspense:

  I-Team Series

  Extreme Exposure (Book 1)

  Heaven Can’t Wait (Book 1.5)

  Hard Evidence (Book 2)

  Unlawful Contact (Book 3)

  Naked Edge (Book 4)

  Breaking Point (Book 5)

  Skin Deep: An I-Team After Hours Novella (Book 5.5)

  First Strike: The Prequel to Striking Distance (Book 5.9)

  Striking Distance (Book 6)

  Soul Deep: An I-Team After Hours Novella (Book 6.5)

  Seduction Game (Book 7)

  Dead by Midnight: An I-Team Christmas (Book 7.5)

  Contemporary Romance:

  Colorado High Country Series

  Barely Breathing (Book 1)

  Slow Burn (Book 2)

  Falling Hard (Book 3)

  Historical Romance:

  Kenleigh-Blakewell Family Saga

  Sweet Release (Book 1)

  Carnal Gift (Book 2)

  Ride the Fire (Book 3)

  MacKinnon’s Rangers Series

  Surrender (Book I)

  Untamed (Book 2)

  Defiant (Book 3)

  Upon A Winter’s Night: A MacKinnon’s Rangers Christmas (Book 3.5)

  About the Author

  USA Today best-selling author Pamela Clare began her writing career as a columnist and investi
gative reporter and eventually became the first woman editor-in-chief of two different newspapers. Along the way, she and her team won numerous state and national honors, including the National Journalism Award for Public Service. In 2011, Clare was awarded the Keeper of the Flame Lifetime Achievement Award for her body of work. A single mother with two sons, she writes historical romance and contemporary romantic suspense at the foot of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. Visit her website at www.pamelaclare.com.

  Scarlet Springs Readers Group

  Goodreads

  @Pamela_Clare

  PamelaClareFans

  www.pamelaclare.com