Honeymoon for Three

by Alan Cook

  “You’re a good detective and you’re practical, too. No wonder I love you.”

  “Let’s just play one game of Keno. It only costs a dollar.”

  “And financially astute. If we lose, I’ll still be a lifetime winner in Reno.”

  ***

  This was getting old. Following their car while trying to remain invisible. It was likely they would have spotted him by now if they weren’t so wrapped up in each other. Alfred had watched them from a distance as they ate lunch at the Cal-Neva Club. It was disgusting how they held hands and gazed into each other’s eyes. He wanted to barf.

  They had stopped for dinner at a converted trolley car. Alfred had grabbed a quick sandwich a little farther on. He was getting tired of living like this, eating bad food on an irregular schedule, trying to keep warm while sleeping in the uncomfortable car. That was another thing. His sweatshirt was completely inadequate for the cold weather they were encountering. They had turned off 395 onto 139, and he had a strong suspicion they were planning to camp at Crater Lake. He was sure it would be freezing there.

  To help keep himself alert, he scanned the car’s radio dial, trying to find a station that wasn’t all static. He finally found one. He heard Connie Francis singing the mournful song, “Everybody’s Somebody’s Fool.” The words resonated with him. Was he Penny’s fool? He certainly wasn’t her plaything, as another line said. She didn’t even know he existed. Was there any point to what he was doing? He was acting like a fool.

  They crossed into Oregon after dark, and a half hour later they were in the small city of Klamath Falls. Apparently everybody in town was Saturday night cruising. Except that cruising didn’t describe the situation because traffic was practically at a standstill. Alfred lost sight of the VW. Completely. Irrevocably. There was nothing he could do, since it was taking him five minutes to go a single block.

  He mentally weighed his options. He could assume they were going to Crater Lake. He would show up late at night at the campground and probably freeze to death before morning. Or he could stay here in a comfortable motel. In the morning he would head back to L.A. He would return to his old job. He would work hard and get promoted. He would start a new life to go with his new look.

  There were other fish in the sea besides Penny. He would find a girl who appreciated him. Penny had shown herself unworthy of his love. He was through with her. As he was thinking these thoughts, he spotted a motel on the right, conveniently located. This was a sign. He pulled into the driveway and felt a surge of relief.

  CHAPTER 8

  The noise that woke Penny sounded like the percussion section of McNamara’s Band on a drunken spree. As she became more aware, she realized that she had heard the same noise several times during the night. She was going to ask Gary what it was, but he was still sleeping, warm and comfortable. She decided not to disturb him.

  She crawled out of the sleeping bag and at once felt the bite of the cold air. They weren’t in Southern California anymore. It was still dark, but with the aid of a flashlight she found her clothes piled in the corner of the small tent and pulled on as many as she could as fast as she could, shivering as she did.

  “What time is it?” Gary asked, his face still buried in the sleeping bag.

  “Time to rise and shine. The sun will be up soon.”

  Gary said something incomprehensible. Penny undid the tent flap and crawled out into the even colder morning air. Her peripheral vision registered a flash of movement nearby. She turned her head and watched a bear lumber off into the woods. He had been eating out of the garbage can beside their campsite.

  “Gary,” she said, yanking back the canvas panel and sticking her head into the tent, “I just saw a bear.”

  “Well, don’t let him eat our breakfast.” Gary was now fully awake. “Wow, it’s cold.” And then, as an afterthought, “We’ve been married a whole day now. Amazing.”

  “Put on your warmest clothes and let’s get the show on the road. We’ve got places to go and things to do.”

  ***

  Gary was awed by the beauty in front of him. Crater Lake had the bluest water he had ever seen, surrounded by two thousand foot cliffs that were also reflected in the water, giving it an appearance of great depth. Two small, sharply defined islands completed the picture. Penny had read from the guidebook that Crater Lake was created when the 12,000 foot Mount Mazama collapsed 7,700 years ago following a large volcanic eruption.

  They were driving around the crater on Rim Drive, stopping at viewpoints. The only problem was the cold. And the fact that he couldn’t get the events of yesterday out of his head. Penny commented on how somber he was.

  “I’m still thinking about what happened yesterday,” he admitted. “I can’t figure out who could have accused me of murder.”

  “Well, do you see him here?”

  There were only a handful of people at this viewpoint, and none of them remotely fit the description of Jack London, or whoever he was.

  “No, but I did come up with a remote possibility during the night.”

  “Tell me,” Penny said as they hustled back to the car to get warm.

  “I had a roommate before Steve. His name was Henry. He could have fit the description the woman at the chapel gave, at least in a dark room. He had a beard. He may still have one.”

  “When was the last time you saw him?”

  “About a year ago. But he called me just before we left, and I told him something about what we were doing. I can’t remember exactly what, but he did imply that because I had been the best man at his wedding, he should be mine. I told him we were eloping, but I’m not sure he bought it.”

  “Why do you think he might be a suspect?”

  “He’s an odd duck. He loves to play practical jokes. But they go beyond joking and verge on cruelty. For example—”

  “Yes?”

  They got into the car. As Gary started the engine, he realized that he was going to have to be careful what he said.

  “I shouldn’t even be telling you this on the second day of our marriage. Henry got married two years ago, and, as I said, I was his best man. For some reason he spread the rumor that I was…queer. I have no idea why he did it.”

  “Well, I can give you a reference. Do you think it might have anything to do with the fact that you’re probably a lot better looking than he is?”

  “I never thought of that. Anyway, he got everybody connected with the wedding to believe it.”

  “Since you were roommates, didn’t that implicate him?”

  “He told people that we had separate bedrooms and agreed to live our own lives. I brought in guys, and he brought in girls. Of course that never happened—including him bringing in girls. He wasn’t a big success with the ladies. He got his wife because she found out that he was a member of a rich family. Not to put too fine a point on it, but she was a gold digger.”

  “Did you confront him with this?”

  “Yes, but he laughed it off. Said it was just a joke and nobody would care in two years.”

  “Except that it’s been two years, and you obviously still care.”

  “Because of what happened. They got married in San Diego where the bride’s parents lived. The wedding party was staying in a hotel. Henry engineered it so that on the day of the wedding I didn’t have a room to use to change into my wedding clothes.”

  “How could he do that?” Penny sounded belligerent.

  “Because he was paying for my room.” Gary sounded sheepish. Maybe he shouldn’t have started this topic. “Anyway, he said he needed my room for something else. He said the only room available was the one the bridesmaids were using. I would have to share it with them.”

  Penny gasped, and Gary knew he was digging himself deeper.

  “I figured the girls would veto it, but they said fine.”

  “So you got dressed in the same room with the bridesmaids?”

  “Yes.” He wanted to end the discussion right there.

  “How many
girls were there?”

  “Three.”

  “Were they good looking?”

  “Oh, average.”

  “Sure they were.” Penny didn’t try to hide her sarcasm.

  All right, they were gorgeous. The one thing he liked about the bride was her girlfriends. Out loud, he gave a noncommittal grunt.

  “How did it work out for my poor Garykins?” Penny asked with mock sympathy.

  “We made do. We respected each other.”

  Penny snorted. “Gary, I feel for you, but I can’t quite reach you.” She started playing an imaginary violin. “You were the fox in the henhouse.”

  He didn’t tell her that the girls ran around before the wedding in garter belts, sans bras, because they didn’t want to get their backless dresses dirty, but she had obviously figured it out.

  Trying to regain some of his dignity, he said, “But let me tell you what happened next. At the reception I danced with the bridesmaids. There was one I kind of liked, and I tried to make time with her. She just laughed at me.”

  “Aw, the light dawns. My Garykins got laughed at by a girl. You poor thing.” Penny laughed herself. “But that’s okay. Aphrodite was watching over you and looking out for my best interests. You were being saved for me.”

  “I guess so.” He grinned. He would get no pity from her. He was glad he was out of that conversation.

  “How did the marriage go?”

  “She divorced him a year ago. Got a big settlement, as I understand it.”

  “So you think he might be envious of you. From what you’ve said, I believe it. What you need to do is call him and make sure he’s home.”

  “It’s a long distance call, and we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I’m sure there are phone booths at Rim Village. You can call from there. Your peace of mind will make it worth the cost.”

  “I’ll call him collect. He owes me.”

  ***

  Alfred wheeled into Mt. Mazama Campground as if he owned the place. He had no intention of staying at another campground, after his cold night in Lake Tahoe, but if Penny and Gary were following the route he thought they were following, their tent should be here.

  Last night, he had watched the movie Moulin Rouge on the television set in his motel room. It was the tragic story of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, with Jose Ferrer playing the crippled French painter. Seeing it on the black and white TV gave it a stark, almost tragic appearance. He identified with the man who hadn’t been able to find true love because of his deformity.

  Alfred wasn’t exactly a painter, but he had some talent at drawing. He could draw a pretty good likeness of a person. He had made two sketches of Penny. In fact, they were with a sketchpad in the trunk of his car. After the movie ended he retrieved the drawings and spread them out on the bed.

  One was of Penny in her cheerleader outfit. He had copied it from the yearbook picture. It looked just like her. He had also tried to sketch how she looked when he saw her through her apartment window. He had never done a nude before, but he thought it had turned out pretty well, considering the fact that he only caught a glimpse of her. He remembered the mole on her left breast. He spent a long time trying to get her bellybutton correct. He really should take an art class sometime.

  Seeing the drawings made him want to see Penny again in person. A good night’s sleep in the comfortable bed of the motel refreshed him and reinforced the feeling. He had come a long way. He wasn’t going to go home until he saw her one more time. Just to make sure she was all right.

  He ate breakfast and then went to a clothing store and bought himself a winter jacket, gloves, and a hat. It cost him a significant portion of his financial resources, but he wasn’t going to freeze again.

  Then he drove north to Crater Lake. He had never seen so many trees in his life as he had during the last three days. Especially evergreen trees. He didn’t know there were this many trees in the world. Most forests in the East were much smaller than the ones around here. There weren’t any forests in parts of the Midwest. After this trip he would be completely satisfied if he never saw another forest.

  Alfred drove openly through the campground. Penny and Gary wouldn’t be here right now. They would be out sightseeing. They must love sightseeing or they wouldn’t have come here. Looking at trees. And mountains. And lakes. He didn’t understand anybody who could go gaga over a tree. It must be Gary’s doing. Penny was more sensible than that. This was evidence that he was leading her around by the nose.

  He spotted an olive drab tent. It must be theirs. It was smaller than any of the other tents. He hadn’t gotten a good look at it during his night perambulations at Lake Tahoe because it had been almost pitch dark. A green stove sat on a picnic table near the tent. It looked familiar, but many campers had similar stoves.

  He stopped the car and got out. He became immediately glad he had purchased warm clothes as the cold wind hit him. There was nobody around. Time for some investigation. He unzipped the vertical zipper that held the two front tent flaps together and the two horizontal zippers at the bottom and folded the flaps back, so that daylight filled the inside. It was small in there—claustrophobic. How could anybody sleep in a space this size?

  Alfred noted the double sleeping bag, and his blood started to boil. There were other things inside the tent: a cooking pot, a frying pan, plastic utensils, bowls, and cups. Put in there so they wouldn’t blow away if the wind came up. No food, however. He had read a sign about bears at the entrance to the campground. They must be keeping their food in the car.

  The sleeping bag was unzipped, and the top half had been folded back, airing out the inside. He lay down on the padded cloth and wondered which side of the bag Penny slept in. He could smell some body odors, but he couldn’t tell one from another. The ground was hard. How could she sleep in this environment? Gary was torturing her. Alfred would never treat a girl like this.

  There were also some items of clothing. What interested him most were a pile of maps and a spiral notebook. He picked up the notebook and opened it to the first page. It contained dates and locations. He glanced through it and realized that this was their itinerary. Valuable information.

  He turned several pages and found what must be a journal of their trip in neat, schoolteacher handwriting. The first sentence that caught his eye read, “The ceremony was just perfect for us.” Penny must be writing the journal. That sentence could only have been written by a girl. He backed up to just before the description of the wedding to see what it said about Gary’s run-in with the police.

  Not much. The narrative stated that Gary had been taken to the police station for questioning. Penny went to the station and talked to a motherly woman. Gary was released in about an hour. It was all a misunderstanding. There was no mention of how the misunderstanding came about. No reference to another person, which would be him. And no mention of any doubts that Penny might have about Gary.

  Well, that had to change. He had to sow seeds of discontent. Alfred zipped the tent flaps together while still holding the notebook. He stood up and returned to his car, throwing the notebook onto the passenger seat. It contained useful information. They would blame each other for its disappearance. He wanted a document in Penny’s handwriting, anyway. Even if he didn’t like what she had written.

  Now that he knew where they were going, he was getting out of here. Out of the rugged country and the cold weather. The outdoor life wasn’t for him. He wasn’t cut out to be a camper. He had enough money to hang on for a few more days. He would meet them a little later in their trip. Assuming that they didn’t call the whole thing off, which was what he wanted to happen.

  ***

  “I had it this morning. I’m sure I put it with the maps.” Penny frantically looked through the pile of maps and guidebooks again, even though she had already done so twice. She compulsively looked in and under the sleeping bag and threw the dishes around the tent in frustration.

  “I’ll look in the car,” Gary said.<
br />
  “I know I put it in the tent.” But since the notebook obviously wasn’t in the tent it made sense to look in other possible places. So she let Gary check the glove compartment and under the front seats. The backseat contained a pile of food and clothing, almost to the ceiling. She couldn’t have put it there.

  Penny was close to crying. She had wanted their honeymoon to be perfect, but it wasn’t turning out that way. Gary returned, empty-handed. When he saw the expression on her face, he took her in his arms.

  “It isn’t worth getting upset about, honey. We can recreate our schedule from memory.”

  “But it also contained our trip log.”

  “This is only the third day of our trip. We can recreate that too. I’ll do it. I’m supposed to be the writer in the family, anyway. Let me keep the log from now on.”

  Penny clung to Gary. More than ever, she was sure she had made the right decision to marry him.

  “When we go into the village, we’ll get a notebook or something to write in,” Gary continued. “We can probably find something where we’ll buy postcards. We’ll eat supper in the village and watch the show at the lodge. I’ll try to call Henry again.”

  There had been no answer when Gary had tried to call Henry before.

  “You’ve just made everything all better,” Penny said. “Now can we crawl into the tent and snuggle for a while? I’m freezing.”

  CHAPTER 9

  “We’ve been married two whole days now.” Gary was filled with awe. He couldn’t grasp the implications of this change in his life that had happened so quickly and yet was so permanent. “Or to put it another way, this is the third day of our marriage.”

  “And we’re out of the snow,” Penny added. “It’s getting warmer.”

  It had been snowing while they made breakfast.

  “Now all we have is rain.”

  “A little rain never hurt anybody.”

  “There must be enough wheat out there to feed the whole country.”

  They had been passing through miles and miles of wheat fields as they neared the Columbia River, which marked the border with Washington.