His Pleasures and Pain (Book II) (Allen Trilogy 2)

by Chevelle Allen

  “I am. Maybe tomorrow night?”

  “Are you going to be around?”

  “I think so. I’ll send a text if anything changes.”

  “Okay. Good night, Baby.”

  “Good night.”

  Dammit! He thought.

  CHAPTER 28

  Janine had been back in the country for a month following her whirlwind trip to Europe and South America. They talked a few times, but the calls had become fairly short compared to others. He called her at ten per usual, but the phone just rang before going to her voicemail. Rather than leave a message, he knew the caller ID would let her know she had missed his call-again.

  He had grown increasingly frustrated by her missed calls and was beginning to feel as if she was withdrawing from him. Rather than abruptly end things this time, he felt she was doing it through her neglect. She stopped sending him texts if she was going to miss a call reasoning if she wasn’t available, it was for a good reason. She even suggested having to send a text felt as if she had to check in nightly with him. The ensuing argument was difficult at best.

  The more he contemplated what was and wasn’t happening between them, the realization struck him. She simply wasn’t ready and he seriously doubted if she’d ever be able to truly free herself emotionally to be with him. On one level it was heart wrenching but on the other, he was more convinced he’d have to let her go.

  By Friday night, he wanted to unwind from another hectic week-hell-a hectic several weeks. He was feeling cooped up and wanted to get out. All things considered, it was still early. He was in the mood for more than just a drink or two at the cigar bar around the corner from his condo. He reached into the cabinet and poured a double shot of bourbon gulping it down. It had been a while since he had one and the warmth at the back of his throat felt good, immediately relaxing him. He poured another before showering and dressing for a night out at Club Spectra.

  By the time he got there, he felt at ease and found his usual spot in the loft. He looked up, pleased to see the cameras were finally gone. He simply wanted to sit back and let go of all his angst. Aside from masturbation, it had been several months since he had sex or engaged in any play. As he watched the dungeon antics, he became aroused quickly— both mentally and physically. Admittedly, he missed the rush of it all but he also recognized what he was missing most was the level of intimacy he shared with Janine. But she wasn’t available to him and he had no idea when she might or even wanted to be.

  “Well, look what the cat coughed up!”

  He turned to her with a broad smile, “Hey, Nikita!”

  She moved in front of him and gave him a tight hug. “What are you doing here? I thought you were behaving yourself these days.”

  He took a deep breath and said, “Things aren’t quite working out.”

  With a look of genuine concern, she took the seat next to his and said, “Oh. I’m sorry, Boo. That must be hard.”

  He gave a faint smile choosing not to respond to her comment. He noticed the small necklace he gave her to bind them as Dom and Sub around her neck. He pointed to it saying, “I’m surprised you’re still wearing that.”

  “I told you. You’re the best Dom I ever had. I’m not giving you up unless I absolutely have to! Besides, you haven’t officially released me.”

  “That decision was yours to make.”

  “Yeah, well…”

  “But you’ve been misbehaving. Haven’t you?” He slyly grinned already knowing the answer.

  She leaned closer and whispered, “In ways you can’t even imagine.”

  “I told you it’s not a good idea to taunt your Dom.”

  “And I told you it’s not a good idea to leave me alone for so long. So what are we gonna do about that?” She scooted closer looking into his eyes seductively.

  He enjoyed their mutual tease and the temptation to go further with her was increasing. Every instinct in his body wanted to grab her, smack her ass and fuck her, but this certainly wasn’t the place to do it. Spectra had a strict rule—no genital-to-genital intercourse in her club and definitely no sexual exchanges on the dance floor or public areas. For a brief moment, he considered taking Nikita into the dungeons, but he didn’t have any of his gear.

  “Let’s go.” He took her by the hand, led her down the stairs and out the front door of the club. Once they were in the parking lot, he led her towards his car. He opened the passenger side door. “Lean over the seat and show me your ass.”

  “Excuse me? I think…”

  “I’m not asking. Do it,” he said with an authority and intensity reflecting the mix of desires swirling within him.

  Nikita slowly and seductively raised the tight miniskirt she was wearing, revealing her thongs. Her voluptuous yet slightly dimpled ass was inviting as hell. He stood for a moment just looking at it noting how it bore no mark or semblance he once commanded every inch of its round lusciousness. She looked over her shoulder at him. In one powerful movement, he smacked her hard which caused her to squeeze her cheeks together as she flinched.

  “Oh, Sir. I sure have missed you! Please do that again!”

  He smirked and happily obliged her, striking her over and over with parts of his hand until that familiar heat emanated from her ass. Once the heat was present, he began interspersing the strikes with rubbing and fingering of her clit from behind. She was moist and her juices were beginning to escape from her folds onto her inner thighs. He carefully slid his fingers inside her as she wiggled and moaned her immense pleasure. She pushed her hips towards him deliberately rubbing against his hardened penis.

  There was no denying he wanted her, but for a split moment he was torn. Hoping the hesitancy would pass, he slid his belt from its loops and struck her with it. She winced in delight. The sound of her moans and belt cracks in the stillness of the night air coupled with the sight of her rippling ass was almost too much for him to take. The faint interior car light and the lot lamps overhead, made his view of her almost cinematic. The familiar welting was becoming evident and he reached down to lick them raising her level of pleasure even higher. He threw the belt on the floor of the car and freed his penis rubbing it against her ass.

  “Take it if you want it!” she offered.

  He let out a low growl.

  He grabbed her throat with one hand and taking hold of his penis with the other, positioned himself squarely behind her in preparation for the ass fucking they both loved so much. He used his penis to capture some of her juices to lubricate them both. Nikita raised her leg onto the door runner giving him better access. But against all logic he couldn’t go further.

  Even as he rubbed his penis against her and tried to focus on the welts, he simply couldn’t do it. He released her neck, sighed heavily while rubbing her back and ass as if it would restore his state of mind. It was of little use. Instead, he leaned into her, fingering her gently to ensure that she came. When it was all said and done, she slid her skirt down, turned to face him and sat on the seat while he placed his limp penis back into his pants.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m…fine,” he huffed in the midst of his confusion and embarrassment.

  She looked into his eyes and he felt terribly exposed. “No, you’re not. You’re hurting…I can tell. Dammit, I should’ve known better.” She reached up and touched his face before moving her hand down to his chest. “Listen, I hope you can fix whatever’s wrong. If you can’t, I’ll be here…as your friend, first.”

  He kissed her lightly on the cheek, helped her out of the car and said quietly, “I need to go.”

  “I know. I’m gonna head back inside. The night’s still young,” she said with a faint smile. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat where he sat for a moment trying to make sense of what happened. She didn’t deserve that shit he thought. He watched as she headed back inside the club. Son of bitch! A part of him was feeling guilty as if he
had betrayed Janine, while another felt angry he couldn’t let go as easily as he thought. What the fuck was that? He started the car and headed home determined to get a good night’s sleep and some much needed perspective.

  The next morning, he found himself lying in bed feeling numb as the previous night’s events replayed in his mind. The emotional rollercoaster he had experienced made him question why he allowed his passions to take control of him the way they had. Intellectually he understood the sexual frustrations he was trying to release were merely a manifestation of his emotional state. He had wanted so much for Janine to be the answer. But she wasn’t.

  The ringing phone lifted him from his fog. It was Janine. He sat up against the headboard and answered. “Hello?”

  “Hi. How’re you?” She sounded perky even though it was only eight in the morning.

  “Fine, and you?”

  “Been busy, but I’m managing.”

  “I guessed as much since you missed our call last night. That’s been happening a lot lately.”

  She paused before saying, “I’m sorry. I got in late. I didn’t want to wake you. I had two events to attend last night and another tonight. I’ll probably just crash tomorrow.”

  “How’s next weekend for a visit?” he asked, already knowing the answer. But he needed to test it.

  “Like this one.”

  “Okay, then why don’t I fly out anyway and be your escort for the weekend.”

  She paused and said, “That’s very thoughtful of you, but I know how much you hate these things.”

  “I’ll be fine. I just want to be with you.”

  “I just don’t think coming next weekend is a good idea.”

  Rather than ask why he sighed and then asked, “Okay, then what about the following weekend?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?”

  “I want to see you, I’m just trying to find a good time when there’s no interruption.”

  “Are you?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “This is important. When am I going to see you again? Because maybe we should just put all this on hold until you can make time for us.”

  “Excuse me? When you started your firm the hours were relentless. I don’t understand why you can’t see that I’m essentially doing the same thing!”

  “No, you’re not! The Foundation’s been around for fifty years. You’ve got staff around the world to support you. You’re telling me, out of all those employees, you’re the only one that has to go to these events and do this travel?”

  “For now, yes! I’m still learning who people are and yes, I want first- hand experience with what we’re doing. Why don’t you get that?”

  “Enlighten me,” he snapped.

  “Do you realize the risk they took naming me CEO? Every person who has held this seat has either been a member of the Remington family or another wealthy, sixty-year-old, white man close to them. There are people within this organization still scratching their heads at the board’s decision. I can’t fail! I can’t let my detractors win or my supporters down. I just can’t.”

  “Once a month, that’s all I’m asking for.”

  She exhaled deeply and said, “This isn’t really about not being able to plan a weekend. You expect me to quit my job and come running back to you in D.C. …don’t you?”

  “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

  “Why the hell not? You’re doing it to me!”

  “So what are we going to do?”

  “I don’t know, but it seems just getting through what we have to deal with now is a problem for you.”

  “You’re right, it is a problem. And I’m not going to be the only one worried about it.”

  “So you’re pissed I’m not at your beck and call.”

  Her acerbic side had rushed to the surface. The words spewed between them next only made matters worse. For the first time in a long time, he felt incapable of taming his emotions to get back to rational and loving thoughts. With both of their passions heightened, they were hurting and causing immeasurable damage in the wake of it all.

  “Fuck it!” He was exasperated but trying to calm himself. “When you have time and want to see me, let me know,” he said.

  “Michael don’t do this!” she said.

  “I’m just stating the obvious. Somebody has to,” he said flatly. The silence that followed was deafening.

  “I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t even understand where it’s coming from,” she finally said.

  “I want to be with you. How fucking hard is that to for you to understand?”

  “I want to see you too! It’s just that I…”

  “What? I’ve been on this road before with you. There’ll be another excuse or you’ll shut down. I don’t have the energy to deal with this shit anymore!”

  “I see. So why the hell did you start up with me again if that’s really how you feel?”

  “I keep asking myself the same damn question.”

  “Wow…okay,” she said. “Then I guess there’s nothing else I can say that’ll make any difference.”

  “You wanted this…a way out. Now you have it.”

  “You’re really doing this,” she said sadly.

  “Call me when you have the time…Better yet…”

  “Michael…please.”

  “Good bye, Janine.” He hung up and sat for a moment feeling the rush of anger swirling within him.

  He wanted to clear his head, find his focus and chart a path back to the emotional stability he knew before she re-entered his life. He climbed out of bed and put on sweat pants, a tee shirt and running shoes. He grabbed his keys and headed out the door for a jog. He was determined this time he wouldn’t grieve the way he had done years before. He simply wouldn’t do it again. He couldn’t.

  CHAPTER 29

  As the Christmas holiday approached, he chose to stay in the city allowing his team much-needed time with their families. He felt he owed them given all they had accomplished together. The decision also meant he’d forego the trip to visit his brother. Ever since his siblings had children, there was a family routine. The cycle was fairly simple: Rick and Mya coordinated so every other year they were either at their own homes or at their in-laws. Michael and his parents often flew out to visit with them. By the third year, they all came to Virginia to spend the holiday at his parents’ home in The Plains. But this time, his parents were taking the trip without him.

  Entering the office suite, he stood for a moment taking it all in. So much had happened since he took the leap to start the firm. Much of it surpassed his wildest imaginings. There was no doubt he was blessed with good fortune coupled with careful planning. As he surveyed the suite, he allowed himself a moment to take pride in all he’d accomplished.

  Making his way down the hall to his office, he noticed the decorations his team had placed on their doors or desks. He was surprised to find a large basket and gift sitting on his desk. He placed his messenger bag down and reached for the card on the beautifully ornate gift. It was from the staff with each expressing their appreciation. He was delighted with the exquisite leather desk set. It included premium fountain pens, ink, foiled personal cards and book clips each engraved with his initials. He took a deep breath letting out a sigh of gratitude.

  Next he turned his attention to the basket with a lovely white poinsettia in the center. There were familiar bottles of wine, cheeses, and various gourmet sausages. The wine selection alone let him know immediately who’d sent it. He searched for the card and read it:

  Thank you for your patronage! Wishing you a delightful holiday season. I look forward to serving your needs in the future. —JD

  He picked up the receiver and dialed her office number. She answered with a quickness suggesting she hadn’t bothered to check her caller ID before picking up.

  “Happy Holidays! This is Jocelyn Daniels. How may I help you?”

  “That depends,” he said warmly.

  “Well, hell
o!” She was cheerful, if not downright giddy. “It’s nice to hear from you.”

  “Thank you for the gift basket. You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

  “I’m glad you like it. Something told me you’d be in the office during the holidays. I’m glad my instincts were right about you.”

  “Your card was intriguing. I’m curious, which of my needs are you interested in servicing in the future?”

  “I’m not sure how to answer that.”

  “You’ve been very forward up to this point. Don’t be coy.”

  “I didn’t think I was being coy.”

  “Then answer the question.”

  “I know how much you like being in control so whatever your needs, I’ll try my best to meet them.”

  “Are you comfortable with that?”

  “Yes. Yes, I am.”

  She had been flirting for almost a year being very clear her interest in him included his “particular tastes.” The idea of training a novice had its appeals, especially a woman Jocelyn’s age. Generally, older women reached an age where they were far less willing to put up with bullshit when it came to their sexuality. Conversely, they could be so trapped in social conventions they never let go of expected roles. Jocelyn seemed to be the former. That was what made her so intriguing.

  “Come by my place tonight at seven.”

  “Okay.”

  “Being late won’t be tolerated. Do you understand?” he said.

  “Yes,” she said with her breath growing heavier. “May I ask a question?”

  “Yes.”

  “What am I supposed to call you during all of this?”

  “We’ll discuss it this evening.” He hung up the phone, deliberately refraining from saying “good bye.”

  It had been a long time since he had more than one Sub. Following his break up with Janine after law school, he pursued his dominance with every woman he fucked. Eventually he found two partners who became his regulars. With each of them it was wild, highly erotic and at times, reckless. The recklessness stemmed more from focusing on the physical acts while ignoring their emotional states. It was a mistake he swore he’d never make again.