Unforgivable (Their Shifter Academy Book 4)

by May Dawson

  “Where are we going?” Maddie watched out the window, tugging absently on the ends of her hair, as if she had nerves about meeting my parents.

  She didn’t have to be nervous about impressing them. I was torn between hoping they’d just be nice today for once, and knowing that it would bug me if she were impressed by them.

  “That French restaurant up ahead,” I said. “My father’s favorite.”

  It wasn’t my favorite restaurant, even though my parents had come to take me to lunch. Not that I mattered—I’d barely eaten the previous week in the field. Getting lunch off campus should be a welcome break..

  But right now, I had the feeling I was going to choke down some expensive food and barely taste it.

  I glanced at the bright-eyed girl beside me, and I was glad she was there.

  Chapter Seven

  Rafe

  Inside the sunny restaurant, I helped Maddie out of her coat. She looked positively perplexed about why I was helping her take off her coat despite the fact she was a grown woman. Just go with it, Maddie.

  Her sleeves were navy lace, and her dress scooped low in the back, revealing her slender neck and the faint rippling of lean muscle over her delicate frame. She was sexy as hell, and I pulled her chair out for her quickly, hoping I could sit down before my body responded any more to her than it already had. Fuck. I had it bad for her, not that I would admit it.

  As soon as Maddie settled into her chair, I took my own seat. My mother asked Maddie, “Would you like a glass of wine with me, dear?”

  Maddie glanced at me, as if she weren’t sure if my mother’s question were a test or not. The packs had no problem with young people drinking, which made sense since we had no problem with young people dying. Everyone did their part to protect the packs.

  But we were out in public and at least in theory, we should follow the local laws. No one was going to cause trouble at a nice restaurant like this, though. I nodded subtly.

  “I’d love to,” Maddie said. My mother was practically beaming as she smiled at Maddie. It took me a second to realize why my mother was so excited about the thought of sharing a nice pinot with Northsea. She thought Maddie was looking to me for permission like a good potential submissive shifter wife.

  My mother had gravely misread this situation.

  The waiter came. Maddie ordered the duck, and I ordered steak-frites. My parents had hijacked my plans to go for burgers with Lex, but at least I could still get red meat and French fries.

  Conversation at first was bland.

  “What do you think of the new dean?” My father asked. “Clearborn? I heard he’s tough.”

  “That he is.” I didn’t want to get drawn into a deep conversation with my father.

  “He’s changed quite a lot at the school, hasn’t he?” my mother asked. She tilted her head to one side. “Do you think there will be more women at the academy next year?”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “I hope so,” Maddie said with a laugh, picking up her class of wine. “I’m going to be lonely otherwise. I could desperately use a girlfriend.”

  “It must be so hard for you.” My mother widened her eyes sympathetically.

  Maddie said carefully, “It’s not that bad.”

  “So, do you think you’ll see that invitation from the Council’s Own?” My father asked me.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t seem to know much, son.” There was humor in my father’s voice.

  “They only select the best,” my mother said.

  “I’m sure he will,” Maddie said, glancing at me warmly. Her confidence made me feel exposed, vulnerable, and I wasn’t sure why. I glanced down at the table as she went on, “Our team is lucky. Between Lex and Rafe, we got the best cadre.”

  Any other time, I would’ve had a quick answer back, but today I just took a sip from my own glass. I had learned a long time ago not to trust my parents with too many intimacies about my life or even with something as simple as a joke that might earn me laughter or a cold stare, depending on their mood. It was safer that way.

  I hated how I felt like a different person around them, one that I didn’t particularly like.

  “I heard that he brought traditional discipline back to the school,” my father said, his voice approving.

  My mother added, “Never could have happened under a woman dean.”

  Maddie’s brows rose, but she didn’t say anything. She took another, longer sip of her wine, meeting my eyes over the rim of her glass before she widened hers, and I had to stifle a laugh. No, she wasn’t impressed by my parents.

  “What do you think of that?” my father asked me. “Did you have to punish any of your cadets?”

  The memory of strapping Maddie with the tawse was one that still made my heart lurch, and I wasn’t about to discuss it with my father.

  “I don’t have to like the dean’s ways of doing business,” I said. “He hasn’t asked me what I think.”

  “I’m asking what you think, Rafe. How do you feel?”

  I took the last sip of wine from my glass. How did I feel about punishing my cadets? I’d felt sick hitting Jensen. Hurting Maddie…that had been worse. I’d kept it together until I thought she was gone, but that day it had felt like something inside me was fracturing and would never be put back together.

  But she’d forgiven me, and I’d held her, and we’d comforted each other. Anything that broke between Maddie and me could be put back together, it seemed.

  I lied, “I don’t have feelings about it. It’s part of my job.”

  Maddie’s brows rose faintly as she set the glass down carefully on the crowded tabletop. My mother’s eyes sharpened. Shit. My mom never missed an opportunity to wield some old fashioned guilt-and-shame.

  “Rafe,” my mother scolded, her eyes widening. “Did you whip Maddie?”

  Here we go. “She is one of my cadets, Mom. The rules are the rules.”

  My father whistled dramatically. “I didn’t think we raised you to hit women, Rafe. Of course, we didn’t raise you to do a lot of things.”

  Oh, nice, a subtle reference to how I’d brought magic—and misery—into our lives when I was a teenager. I could really go for another glass of wine.

  “Are you all right?” My mother touched Maddie’s wrist.

  Maddie nodded. She fixed a smile on her face that made it seem like she wasn’t fine at all, but that had nothing to do with a beating three months ago and everything to do with this conversation now.

  “This is why women shouldn’t be at the academy,” my mother said. She saw the look on Maddie’s face and added, “I understand why a brave girl like you would want to go. It must be such a tough situation, surrounded by all those crude men, treated like one of them instead of being protected.”

  “I don’t mind it,” Maddie assured her.

  “I can’t believe you,” my mother chided me. “Rafe. You hurt this sweet, beautiful girl—”

  “It was hardly Rafe’s fault,” Maddie said dryly. “I could’ve avoided the punishment by, you know, not earning it in the first place.”

  The way she took responsibility—even when she shouldn’t have to—made me feel a swell of admiration. At her core, she was so tough. Sometimes her power might be hidden under a bit of brashness and brattiness, but she was made of heroic stuff.

  “You should’ve told Clearborn no,” my mother said. “It’s not appropriate to strike a woman.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Let’s have a nice lunch with Maddie.”

  My father frowned. “I wish you’d made a decision based on what you know is right and not what was convenient.”

  “You know, Rafe’s cadets are all wildly curious about his background,” Maddie said suddenly. “There are rumors he ran away from home when he was a kid, but I could never picture our rule-following cadre doing anything so impulsive.”

  Her cheeks were suddenly flushed, but she flashed her bright smile around the table. “I still just ca
n’t imagine why, when he has such loving and supportive parents.”

  “I’m trying to look out for you,” my mother said to her, with hurt written across her face.

  Maddie rose from the table, laying her napkin across the chair. Her voice was rising, and it had the familiar snap in it that I’d heard more than once. “I don’t need you to look after me. You know why? I’m so looked after by the overprotective men in my team I can barely stand it. Especially your son. So please don’t pick on him on my account.”

  My parents gaped at her, and Maddie stared back at them, her eyes widening. She flashed me a horrified look, as if she’d just realized she’d told off my parents on what was almost like our first date.

  “I have to go to the ladies’ room.” Her voice came out more subdued. As she headed across the room, her stride was jerky with irritation.

  My father started to say something, his brows drawing together, and I interrupted him.

  “She’s got a temper,” I confided to my parents, gathering my coat and Maddie’s from the backs of our chairs. “And I love it. Excuse me.”

  I found Maddie standing in the alcove in the back between the two bathrooms, chewing her lower lip. She flashed worried eyes at me when I came back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  She broke off as I wrapped my arms around her. As I hugged her, I felt her breath give in the second before her arms slid around my waist.

  Maddie hugged me back tight, her touch comforting as she pressed her face against my shirt. I breathed in the soft, floral scent of her perfume.

  I wasn’t sure if I was hugging her to reassure her, or to make myself feel better.

  Maybe it didn’t even matter.

  “Let’s go out the back,” I said. “The duck here is terrible anyway. I’ll buy you a burger.”

  Maddie laughed shakily. “You’re not mad at me? For yelling at your parents…”

  She stared up at me, her brow wrinkled above those ocean-blue eyes that I could lose myself in.

  I’d thought Maddie might be taken in by my charming father with his edge of cruelty, by the mother who valued being correct over being decent. But Maddie had seen right through them.

  She’d stood up for me. I wasn’t sure, in all my life with them, anyone had ever really tried to protect me from them. Now I was a grown man and I didn’t need to be protected.

  But it still felt good that she’d tried.

  I could never tell her all that, so I just said, “Nah. I know who you are, Northsea. I know to expect the storms.”

  She pulled a face, before starting to turn away from me. I’d said that all wrong.

  “Hey,” I said, catching her shoulder and spinning her back to face me. “I…like the storms, Maddie. I like everything about who you are.”

  She stared at me, a slow smile coming over her sweetly bowed pink lips, and I would’ve given anything in that moment to kiss her.

  But she was still a First Year, and I was still cadre, and maybe I could leave some lines uncrossed tonight.

  “Let’s go,” I said, holding out her coat. “I’m still starving.”

  Chapter Eight

  Maddie

  “Thanks for the interesting evening,” I told Rafe as he pulled his car up in front of Chase’s house.

  “Thanks for tolerating the interesting evening,” he said. Then, more seriously, he added, “And for having my back.”

  “Always, Mr. Hunt.”

  He groaned. “Must you call me that? It’s like having Clearborn in the car with us…”

  “Why does it matter? It’s not like you’re gonna kiss me good night.” I regretted it as soon as I said it. I expected him to remind me that this wasn’t a date, even if we went out to a fancy restaurant, met his parents, and I yelled at them.

  But Rafe didn’t say anything. He just smiled faintly, inscrutably.

  I hesitated, chewing my lower lip. “You aren’t actually supposed to go back to campus. Not alone.”

  “I’m not getting out of my car until I’m through those gates,” he promised. “I admit, I didn’t think through the logistics.”

  “How very First Year of you. What if Clearborn finds out?” I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of example are you setting?”

  “Oh my god, Maddie. Give you an inch…” He shook his head slowly, but he couldn’t help smiling.

  “Come in,” I said. “Don’t get into trouble. We’ve only got a few hours until we’ve all got to head back.”

  We couldn’t break curfew for our orgies, as Rafe had pointed out.

  “I’m not heading into that underclass den of iniquity,” he said. “Tonight was… enough.”

  “Enough of what?”

  He wasn’t going to answer me. I knew that even before he stared straight ahead at the sun, which was sinking low in the sky. I didn’t think Rafe was really that taken by cloud-watching.

  I blew out a slow breath, coming to a decision.

  “I’ll go back to campus with you,” I said. “Clearborn is right. None of us should be alone.”

  Rafe raised an eyebrow. It was a weird role reversal, me telling Rafe to follow the rules, but he let it pass without comment. Instead, he said, “I didn’t intend to ruin your day off.”

  “You didn’t ruin it.”

  “Oh?”

  “I liked being with you today,” I said, “even if your crazy parents came as part of the deal.”

  That made two things I shouldn’t have said in a two minute time span.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I apparently can’t be trusted with wine.”

  “You haven’t said anything to be sorry for.” He cut the ignition and turned to me, his lips tightening ruefully. “Fine. I’ll come in.”

  “You don’t have to have fun,” I assured him, and his mouth tilted up at the corners in a way that made bees buzz through my stomach.

  When the two of us reached the porch, I slipped my pendant out of my shirt. Chase’s key hung alongside my pendant, and I unlocked the front door as Rafe eyeballed me.

  “You said you had to drop me off at home earlier,” I said, my hand on the door knob. “You can’t be surprised that Chase gave me a key.”

  “It’s easier to say home then explain all this,” Rafe said, but I wasn’t convinced.

  I led Rafe through the foyer. There were candles burning on the table against the wall, in the otherwise dimly lit room, and it made the place smell like cinnamon. Chase had a domestic side I wouldn’t have expected.

  “Honey, I’m home,” I called to no one in particular. Or maybe to everyone.

  Feet clattered down the stairs, and I grinned as Skyla skittered across the floor and threw herself into my arms. “You’re here! Chase said you weren’t coming today.”

  “What? No, wishful thinking on his part. He wanted to be able to win at Mario Kart for once.” I hugged Skyla, twirling her in a circle so her socks whirled above the tile floor, then set her down. Over her dark brown ponytail, I told Rafe, “Skyla and I always kick his butt.”

  Rafe grinned as he held his hand out to Skyla, crouching down so he didn’t tower over her. “Hey. Nice to meet you, Skyla. I’m Rafe.”

  “I’ve heard about you!” She grinned her gap-toothed grin at him as she shook his hand.

  Rafe flashed me a look over her head. “How come everyone who’s met you says that when they meet me?”

  Oh, I didn’t want to answer that question. Luckily, Skyla rescued me. I shrugged at Rafe as Skyla took my hand and towed me down the hall to the living room.

  When I walked in, Jensen and Penn were on the couch playing video games, and men were moving around in the kitchen. Is there a finer sight than a well-built man cooking dinner?

  Chase said something in the kitchen, and a familiar laugh answered him. My heart lurched in my chest. Tyson.

  I dropped my coat on the back of the coach and reached out to ruffle both Jensen and Penn’s hair, not that I could distract the two of them from their game. They just grinned at me and went back
to playing.

  Then I headed to the kitchen entryway, my heart in my throat.

  When Tyson looked up at me, our eyes locked. His face shifted from laughing to stricken in a heartbeat. As I stared back at him, my mouth went dry. I backed into the living room.

  “I thought you weren’t coming,” he said. “Since you were out with Rafe…”

  He tried to sound neutral when he said out with Rafe.

  He did not succeed.

  Penn tossed his controller on the coffee table as he turned around.

  Jensen exclaimed, “Come on, man! We’re in the middle of our game!”

  Penn jumped over the back of the couch and grinned, his eyes alight as he looked between everyone. “Look at this. Whole family’s in the house.”

  Rafe crossed his arms over his chest, his brow furrowing. The idea of family seemed to make him uncomfortable.

  Lex came in through the sliding door from the deck. “The grill is ready.”

  “What are you doing here?” Rafe demanded.

  Lex stared back at him, frowning. “Ty needed someone to ride with him to leave campus. What are you doing here?”

  Skyla tumbled over the back of the couch, landing next to Jensen. Jensen tossed the controller in her lap. “Play for Penn. He doesn’t have the attention span.”

  I frowned at Penn. I had a lump in my throat as Rafe and Lex faced off and Ty bustled in the kitchen, trying to avoid me. Penn seemed to find things amusing.

  Penn caught my hand in his, pulled it up to his lips to give me a quick kiss, and winked at me.

  Maybe he wasn’t just entertained by everyone else’s discomfort. Maybe there were awkward conversations we needed to have along the way to our life together.

  “Have you been out here before?” Rafe asked Lex.

  “You know I usually spend my weekends with you.” Lex crossed his arms. “Anyway, we might as well eat before we head back.”

  “The two of us had a late lunch already,” I said.

  Lex’s brows arched, and his lips twisted in amusement as he looked to Rafe. “Right. You two had your date.”