by Elouise East
“I don’t mind paying, no.”
“I think if we pay for the flights and the hotel—and a spa treatment or something—they can use their money for trips and excursions or whatever they want to do when they get there.”
“Sounds good. If you can sort it and let me know how much I need to pay, then I’ll get it to you.”
“Yeah, I know your working hours are crazy.” She glanced at him with a smirk in place. “And besides, you wouldn’t have a clue about a nice place to stay.”
“Hey! I know what I like.” He threw a wadded-up napkin towards her with a chuckle. “I don’t know what other people like.”
Their lunch was over quicker than he would have liked, and he tickled Danny, kissed Ella and headed home. Alex couldn’t settle down. He ended up wearing a hole in the carpet while he waited for news from Logan.
When his phone finally rang, he scrambled over to the table to reach it before it clicked over to voicemail.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.” Logan’s voice had Alex’s nerves on edge. “Everything is fine. Craig has been informed and appeared to be okay with the situation. I managed to get a bit more information out of him regarding Darren, which will help us with the investigation. It will also allow us to keep him in remand until the court hearing.”
“I thought he would be kept there anyway, with what he had done?”
“Yes, but there was always the chance we would be overruled, and Darren let out. Now, we will be able to keep him in.”
“Was it bad?”
“No, it wasn’t. But it’s shown us he is a danger to Craig, which is the most important thing in this situation.”
“Alright. Thanks, Logan.”
“No problem. But remember, I shouldn’t be giving you this information, Alex. I’m doing it because I know you have his best interests at heart. If you speak to Craig, pretend you don’t know any of it.”
“Of course. Sorry for putting you in this position.”
“It’s fine. Anyway, I have to go, duty calls and all.”
“Sure. Thanks again.”
They rang off, and Alex flopped onto the sofa with a sigh of relief. At least Craig has one less thing to worry about now.
Chapter 15
Craig
Craig called his parents and explained a simplified version of events. His mother broke down in tears, and he ended up talking to his father, who resolved to bring everyone up to see him. Craig tried to call them off, but they wouldn’t listen. Some things never changed.
They arrived the day before he was due to be discharged. Craig had an appointment booked with Amanda, and as soon as they finished, Craig would be going home.
“How did your parents react to the situation?” Amanda asked, sipping her water.
“Mum cried. Dad was more stoic. They’ve not said a great deal about it, to be honest. I think they’re trying to be upbeat for me for some reason.” He chuckled. “I’ve no idea what they think about it because they won’t acknowledge it, other than to ask how I am.”
Amanda frowned. “They need to be able to talk about it, as you do.”
“I will talk to them about it, but I think it will be easier when I’m on home base.”
“Possibly.” She paused, cocking her head. “How are you feeling about going home?”
Craig blew out a long breath. “I’m not going home. At least not straight away. I’ve decided to head to my parents for a few weeks. My shoulder needs rest, as you know, and my mother asked. So, I agreed.”
“And when you return home? How do you feel about going back?”
“I’ll be glad to get back to my own bed. Apart from that…I don’t know. It feels like home when I think about it. I’ve no idea.” Craig glanced at the table, trying to imagine being home alone. He couldn’t picture it. It had been a long time since he had done it. Not in the sense of being alone when Darren was at work, but in the evenings, when Darren was always around. It had been roughly five years since he’d spent a night utterly alone. He shared the thought with Amanda.
She nodded. “It will be an adjustment, Craig. You might find you like the quiet and settle in well. You might find the opposite happens and you need sound and light to be able to find your new normal. Take it one step at a time. I’m always here, at the end of the phone, as well as in-person if you need me. Day or night.” Amanda leaned forward. “You’re not alone in this situation, Craig. Remember that if nothing else. You may go home to an empty house, but you are not alone.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, make sure you also remember to tell your family when you need to leave. Be strong about that. You need time to figure things out for yourself.” She paused, checking her diary. “Okay, while you are at your parents’ house, I will be at the end of the phone if you need me. As for when you come back, I can book you in for Thursdays at three if that is okay with you?”
Craig nodded. “Yeah, fine.”
“Okay, I will book you in for three weeks’ time, but please call me if you need me beforehand. And if you want to scream and shout about your parents, I’m here.” Amanda smiled as she spoke of parents as if she knew what it was like.
“Thank you, Amanda. I appreciate it.”
“Now, get out of here. And enjoy being spoiled even if it drives you crazy.” She laughed.
Craig snorted and stood, making his way around the sofa to the door. He stepped into the corridor to find Alex resting against the opposite wall, doing something on his phone. Alex glanced up when the door shut behind Craig.
“Oh, hey. I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed before you left.” Alex pushed off from the wall and stepped forward, sliding his phone into his pocket.
Craig’s heart pumped a bit faster, the closer Alex came. “Um…yeah, I think I have everything I need.” He spun towards his room, and Alex fell into step beside him. Craig couldn’t understand what his reactions were all about regarding Alex. Craig liked having him around, but in the same breath, he felt nervous and confused. It was something he could figure out later. After this, he wouldn’t see him often, if at all, anyway.
“Good. Your brother is here already. I let him wait in your room. I hope that was alright.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks.”
Craig entered his room first, watching as Blake closed his phone abruptly and stood up.
“Hey, Craig. You ready to escape this joint?” Blake smiled.
“Sure. Let me grab my things.” Craig’s heart rate increased again when he went to his little cupboard and emptied his belongings into a bag his brother had brought with him. This time, he knew it was because he was leaving the hospital. He wasn’t sure what his emotions were trying to say to him, but, as Amanda had said, he needed to face them. Then he could figure out his new normal.
“—nothing you need to keep an eye on specifically. Craig is more than capable of knowing when he’s doing more than he should.”
Craig glanced towards Alex and Blake, who had obviously asked what they needed to do with Craig. He huffed a breath, silently and shook his head. His brother had not changed either, always needing to be the one who knows everything and sorts it all out singlehandedly.
“I’m ready.” Craig forestalled any further questions, hiking the bag onto his good shoulder.
“Here, let me take it.” Blake reached forward for the bag, and Craig let him take it; otherwise, he’d never hear the end of it on the journey home.
“Thanks.” Craig peered at Alex, who shifted from foot to foot, hands deep in the pockets of his white coat. “Thank you for everything, Alex. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Keep in contact, okay.” Alex glanced at Blake briefly. “Safe journey.” Alex twisted around and left the room.
“Wow. What was all that about?”
“All what about?” Craig’s gaze was lasered on the empty doorway.
“The tension in the air. You could cut it with a knife.”
Craig rolled his eyes a
nd shook his head. “Let’s go.” Trudging along the corridors, Craig was unaware of his surroundings, except to take note of the exit signs. Could he do this? Could he eventually go back home? He supposed he had no choice.
****
When Craig had enquired about going home to fetch some things, Blake had informed him their parents had packed up some belongings and had already taken them to his childhood home. Inwardly, Craig sighed with relief, his muscles sinking into the seat surrounding him as he stared at the scenery flying past the window.
There were three cars in the driveway of the house when they arrived back, including his own. Craig’s gaze followed the landscape, seeing everything as it had been on his last visit several years prior and smiling as he reconciled his memories with the proof before him. Serenity. And a safe haven. Craig breathed in deeply and exhaled harshly, pushing away the negativity he’d been harbouring. He would always be welcome at this place right here. And that was all he needed to know.
Craig unclipped his seatbelt and exited the car, eyes drawn to the front door which was opening.
“Craig! You’re here!” His mother rushed down the path to him and engulfed him in a hug—a gentle one, at least—before pulling him towards the house. “Everyone’s here to see you! Come on!”
He briefly closed his eyes, knowing who she meant by everyone. Fucking hell. Craig pasted on a smile and accepted hugs and handshakes from his brothers, their wives or partners. At least the kids stayed away, most of them gawking at him, clueless. Which was understandable as he had not seen them for over three years, or at all for the younger ones.
“Right, everyone. Dinner’s ready. Come find a plate and a place to sit. Kids, you know where you normally sit.” His mum’s voice broke his concentration, and the stampede of people heading to the kitchen made him smile.
Craig excused himself to the bathroom and took his time, reacquainting himself with his surroundings.
“Craig! Dinner!”
His mother’s shrill tone took him back to his childhood. He spun around and strode back to the kitchen. Entering, he saw the place was heaving with bodies, and he squeezed past several to get to his mother.
“Ah, there you are. Here you go, sweetheart.” His mum pushed a plate towards him and indicated the table where there was one seat left.
Craig chewed mechanically during the meal, not conversing, not looking at anything other than his plate. His thoughts were a million miles away from the house where fifteen people currently sat.
Someone dropped next to him, disturbing his musings, and he realised people were leaving.
“They’re all going home. They wanted to see you were okay.” Brandon answered Craig’s unasked question. His youngest brother had an affinity for other people’s emotional states. It was why Brandon had gone into social work, and it suited his empathetic nature well. It was how he met his husband, Matt, who he now had two children with: Willow, who was six, and Sutton, who was four.
“Oh, okay.” Craig couldn’t get up the enthusiasm to say goodbye to them in person.
“You alright?” Brandon asked.
“Yeah. I’m good. Tired is all.” Craig could bullshit with the best of them, although possibly not to Brandon as easily as his other brothers.
Brandon nodded. “Okay.” He stood.
Craig sighed.
“See you soon.” Brandon ruffled his hand through the top of Craig’s hair as he used to do when they were younger. Craig might be older by two years, but Brandon was taller.
Once everyone had left, his mother busied around tidying up, refusing his offer of help. She told him to get to bed and sleep. “I bet you’ve hardly slept in the hospital, have you? Go on, get to bed.”
Craig carefully got changed and slipped into bed, laying on his back in the single bed he had slept in as a teenager. He ordered his body to relax, especially his shoulder, but it wasn’t listening. Plates clinking as they were stacked and footsteps moving around in the house outside of his bedroom door, created a tension he couldn’t shake. Despite the different surroundings, he expected Darren to walk through the bedroom door any minute.
He focused on the various trinkets, pictures and objects he could see in the lamplight, reminding himself where he was. Craig laid in bed, allowing memories to shuffle through his head until silence descended. Sunlight beamed through his open curtains, waking him slowly. He was surprisingly rested, although his shoulder twinged, and he needed more painkillers.
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop as he wandered to the bathroom, but he overheard his dad and his brothers talking about him.
“—fight back? How did it get to this stage? He’s not a wimp, so how did he end up as beaten up as he had?”
Craig retreated to his bedroom, pain relief forgotten, and sank to the floor against the door, forearms resting on his bent knees. He stared at nothing.
Why hadn’t he fought back? Darren had hurt him, and he took it. Had he needed to fight back? Was it as bad as everyone seemed to think, or had it been blown out of proportion? Darren had every right to be pissed off at Craig for not telling him about Alex. Could they have talked it through? Craig had thought they could, but now he wasn’t sure.
Craig shook his head and stood. He needed a distraction, and he could get some work done in the process. Two birds, one stone. Hopefully, his mother had thought to bring his laptop with them.
AFTER
Chapter 16
Craig
Craig sauntered along the corridor to the lift after finishing his session with Amanda, eyes on the patterned floor tiles. Emotionally drained, he wheeled around, startled, when a voice called his name.
Craig cleared his throat. “Hey.”
“Long time, no see. How have you been?” Alex’s familiar cadence washed over Craig, and his shoulders relaxed.
“Good, thanks.”
“How’s the shoulder healing?”
Craig rotated his shoulder a couple of times before answering, “It’s good. Barely hurts now. Only when I twist wrong.”
Alex nodded. “Glad to hear it.”
“How are you?” Craig asked because it was socially acceptable to echo the question back.
“Good. Work’s crazy as usual. I’ve been covering for a doctor in A&E for a few days. Today is my first day back on the wards.” Alex hesitated, darting his gaze to Craig and around the space, frowning. “I’m heading for lunch. Would you like to join me?”
Craig’s initial reaction was “Hell, yes!” but figured out he was not at all bothered about being alone with Alex. That single reason had him tensing and declining.
“Maybe another time. Is everything okay?” Alex asked.
“Yep.”
Craig felt like he needed to speak with Amanda again. He was all kinds of jumbled up, worse than several minutes ago when he’d left Amanda’s office after trying to dissect his time with his parents. He said a brief goodbye to Alex and left, striding towards his parked car.
He’d come straight here from his parents’ house and hadn’t been home. He’d felt the need to speak with Amanda about it all before attempting to set foot in his own home. Was he going to be able to stay there on his own? He wasn’t sure, but he’d soon find out.
Craig parked on his driveway and stared up at the house, everything appeared the same. Four weeks seemed like a lifetime since he was last there. His heartbeat didn’t increase with anxiety like Amanda said it might, but he wasn’t empty either, which she said could be one emotion he experienced. Craig sighed. This was his. Regardless of what happened here, this was his home. No one could take that away from him.
Craig stalked to the front door, unlocking and opening it and stepped across the threshold. He closed the door behind him and stood, gazing around from his position, listening for any hint of movement. Satisfied he was alone, he wandered around, acknowledging small differences in his surroundings to what he was used to.
The large glass cabinet, containing his glass paperweights, had disappeared, along w
ith its contents, as had the table by the wall and the coffee table which had been replaced with another. Scratches and gouges on the walls told stories of Darren’s violence, which hadn’t been covered up.
Drifting down the hallway towards the other rooms of the house, Craig catalogued the changes made. In his bedroom, there was an unknown duvet cover gracing the bed, new bedside lamps and a blank space where the wall-fitted TV used to be. He continued to his office, preparing to reacquaint himself with whatever items were left behind and was surprised to see it was mainly untouched. His computer was in one piece. In fact, the whole room appeared mostly intact, surprisingly.
Craig wandered back towards the front of the house and stalked to the kitchen to cook dinner. When the pasta was finished, he spooned himself some and whirled to sit but stared at Darren’s seat. He hesitated before walking out of the kitchen and to the sofa. As he sat, peering into his bowl, he realised he’d made a small portion, like he used to have with Darren. He didn’t need to do that anymore.
Tears dropped from his face to the bowl, and he fell to pieces, chest heaving with the air trying to circulate to his lungs, throat sore from the noises tearing through the restricted passage, eyes stinging from the barrage of saltwater. Craig wasn’t sure how long had passed before he finally regained control.
Leaving the bowl where it lay on the coffee table, he strode to the bedroom, undressed and tucked himself in with the sounds from outside the house and the usual inside creaks and drips keeping him company. And he slept.
****
Picking up the dirty bowl, he placed it in the sink and stepped back, staring at it. His instincts were telling him he needed to wash it up and put it away—right now—but Craig wanted to figure out if he minded it being left there, or if he wanted it to be cleaned up. Darren had always wanted the house to be clean and tidy, and Craig had created a habit of washing and drying pots and cutlery as soon as they had been finished with. Now, he was trying to understand what he wanted for his house.
Craig stared at the bowl, shifting from foot to foot and biting his lip, his stomach quivering at the thought of leaving it there. From his counselling sessions, he acknowledged this was a behaviour he had learned from being with Darren. Craig walked himself through the scenario of leaving the bowl in the sink and washing it up before he went to bed instead of now and analysed his emotions.
