Top Notch (Man on Top Book 1)

by Nicole Richard

  A quick tug had him leaning back into the couch, bringing me with him to straddle his waist. Not once separating his lips from mine, we kissed for what felt like forever, his tongue entwined with mine, my lips swollen.

  “I need to be inside you.”

  “Um hmm,” I mumbled, his penetrating gaze dialing up the heat. I ground my core into his hard length and it was that movement that made my bladder scream. “I need to pee.”

  Levi pulled my hair back and bit my chin. “I’ll be waiting in the bedroom.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  Levi

  I felt the small box fall out of my pocket when I dropped myself into the couch but didn’t dare move. I’d have to wait until she wasn’t in the room.

  On our last night in Arizona, the four of us went out for dinner and drinks, the usual away post-game scene, nothing out of the ordinary, until I stumbled upon a beautiful diamond sparkling from the jewelry store window. With a mind of its own, my feet took the lead and entered the shop. No more than twenty minutes later, I walked out the owner of a timeless three-carat princess-cut diamond ring.

  The significance of what that ring meant, along with the woman it was intended for, came full circle in a matter of seconds. I had no idea when I’d propose. I just knew with everything in me, that when the time was right, I’d get down on one knee and ask Rowan to be my wife.

  I reached between the seat cushions, my fingers scraping the box and what felt like thin metal. I pulled the box out and quickly tucked it into the side pocket of my gym bag before reaching back in only to pull a spiral notebook out.

  Tossing the notebook on the small coffee table, not expecting to read what was actually written on the paper, I did. And after my brain made sense of every single letter in Rowan’s scribbled penmanship, I fell back, confused.

  I picked the tablet back up, needing to see if my eyes were playing tricks on me. If what I had read and registered in my brain was what I was actually seeing.

  San Francisco: Pros and Cons

  Surely there was some kind of mistake, right? Or maybe this was an old list? I mean, it had to be, my name was nowhere to be found. She wouldn’t just up and leave after everything?

  Forcing myself to stand, I held the notebook, my eyes fixated on the lined paper. There had to be a logical explanation. I’m sure this was old, before she and I met.

  “Why aren’t you in the bedroom?” Rowan stood at the mouth of the hallway. She had changed into her usual summer sleep attire of pajama shorts and tank. Braless, the sunshine yellow material left nothing to the imagination.

  When her eyes dipped to what was clenched in my hand and back up, panic swelled on her pretty face, causing her smile to falter.

  “What’s this?” I choked out, barely.

  “I can explain.”

  “I would hope so,” I scoffed.

  So this wasn’t an old list.

  She took a tentative step in my direction, all the blood draining from her face. Breaking eye contact, she sighed uneasily. “Can we sit?” I hated that her voice was meek.

  I nodded hesitantly, giving her nothing. I wasn’t sure what the hell was happening. There I stood with a ring in my pocket, waiting for the right time to ask her to be my forever, but the churning in my gut said she was on a totally different page.

  Resuming my seat, I grabbed my beer and chugged whatever was left of it. I set the empty bottle back on the table and sat with my elbows digging in my thighs and my chin resting on my steepled hands. That nauseating feeling warned me I wasn’t going to like what she had to say. And for that, I couldn’t look at her.

  “I got a job offer,” she started, her voice soft. “In San Francisco.”

  My heart bottomed out and every muscle in my body tensed. What was happening?

  “But you’re not taking it, right?”

  Thick silence filled the air.

  Dreading the look on her face, I turned enough to see her looking at me, the panic in her eyes a minute ago forged into fear. I sat up straight. “Tell me you’re not taking it. It’s just a job. Surely, they’ll be other job offers, right? What’s wrong with your current job? Are you not happy there? You just got a promotion a few months ago.” I could feel the panic wrapping a tight noose around my neck. She couldn’t be seriously considering it, right?

  More silence. This time her eyes filled with unshed tears.

  “You’re going?” I whispered unbelievingly.

  In slow motion, she lifted her right shoulder and then whispered, “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “But why?” I jumped to my feet and started pacing the living room. “What about Chicago? Moving in with me?” I held my eyes on her, willing her to give me an answer, justification that wouldn’t crumble my entire world right before me. Waiting on what felt like a bed of nails, I finally pushed past my lips, worried about the outcome. “What about us?” Fear and that damn ring burning a hole in my pocket. “I love you,” I choked out. Fuck, this was painful. “I thought . . .” Tilting my head to the ceiling, I drew in a deep breath and released it slowly, needing to center myself.

  “And I love you.” Her words were sincere and honest and that had me questioning yet again, why the fuck was she even thinking about this at all? Her decision should be a no-brainer. A No, thank you, I have everything I ever wanted and needed right here. Carefully making her way toward me, her eyes held me hostage the entire five seconds, the effects feeling like an eternity. “Very much.” Gently, she laid one hand on my chest. “But this isn’t just some job offer. I was asked to manage the San Francisco office. And if all goes well, in six months I’d be promoted to vice president. Can’t you see? This surpasses more than I thought I’d ever achieve. More than I ever set my sights on. Regardless of the choice I make, how can you expect me not to consider it?”

  “And I get left behind. That’s it?” I wasn’t in a rational state of mind at this point. “Fuck, whatever, I think. Fuck it that I’m in love with you, or wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Her breath hitched and she smiled painfully.

  “I haven’t made a final decision. I’ve been weighing all my options—”

  I shoved my finger toward the paper my name was not on. “Options that don’t include me,” I snapped. The inability to accept her words immobilized my body, muscles tensing and seizing. “Fuck! I can’t even think right now.”

  “Can we just sit and talk about this?” she pleaded. The fear in her voice hurt my heart, but she had to know how much this hurt me. Not being the first person she turned to in a time like this left me questioning if opening my heart had even been worth it.

  “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  “Of course I was going to tell you.” The scowl on her face made me think she was actually offended.

  News flash, sweetheart: If anyone should be offended, it was me—the blind-sided sucker who let you in.

  “When?”

  “I’ve been going back and forth since coming home from Chicago trying to figure that out.”

  “You knew for almost two weeks and you never said anything?” My blood reached boiling status. “Spencer gets firsthand knowledge of all your life happenings, yet your boyfriend”—I crouched low enough that I was in her face—“has no fucking clue! None!”

  “You were on the road. I wanted to talk to you face-to-face.”

  “It doesn’t matter where the fuck I am. You come to me”—I hit my chest—“with anything, and everything, anytime. I don’t give a fuck if I’m on the road or at home, if it’s two a.m. or three in the afternoon. You should have told me the minute you found out.”

  I hated that she flinched and took a step back.

  “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

  My head jerked back. Was she serious? “Overreacting?” My nostrils flared and I repeated, my voice growing louder, irritated. “Overreacting?” I took two deep breaths, pinching the bridge of my nose. “How could you even think I’m overreacting? You’re
planning on moving, thousands of miles I might add, and didn’t even have the fucking decency to talk to me about it!” I shouted.

  “Lower your voice,” she scolded through clenched teeth.

  “I put my ass on the line for you.”

  “I never asked you to.”

  “You didn’t need to. It’s called sacrifice. Something couples do.”

  Her shoulders drooped and the pain etched on her beautiful face almost did me in, almost. And before I said something I’d really regret, I clamped my mouth shut.

  “It’s obvious nothing is going to get resolved tonight. Can we just go to bed?” she asked, defeated.

  Rule number four: Never go to bed angry.

  She backed away and headed for her bedroom, but I grabbed her by the wrist stopping her. The contained anger I felt running uncontrollably through me is what had me reaching for her, somehow her touch centered me in the wild storm of emotions. But the realization of tonight’s outcome and the pain of giving that one person every part of you only to find out they had plans of their own is what gutted me and had my heart bleeding out.

  Deciding I couldn’t do this—not tonight, maybe not ever—I let go of her wrist and brushed past her, reaching for my bag. I headed straight for the door. In my heart, I didn’t want to leave. It was my brain telling me walking out the door was what needed to be done. Rain or shine, the game must go on.

  With my hand gripping the doorknob, I forced out painfully, “Good luck. I hope all your dreams come true.”

  “You’re leaving?” She looked panicked. “You can’t just leave. We should talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing left to say. Besides, it looks like you already had your mind made up.”

  “Far from it.” She huffed. “I just started that list . . .”

  I nodded, my back still facing her. “And if I was a priority, I would have been at the top of that list. I would’ve even been okay if I was second or third in line, but my name isn’t even on the fucking thing.”

  Her breath hitched and I could only imagine the look on her face, but I was done. I gripped the doorknob, fighting back my own pain to keep it from slipping past my lips until I couldn’t.

  She had to know.

  I opened the door but kept my back to her. “I want it back.”

  “Want what back?” she prodded, the change of pitch in her voice had me pulling in a deep breath.

  “My heart.”

  I didn’t even bother closing the door, just another chapter in my sad and pathetic life.

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  Rowan

  “Knock. Knock.”

  I pushed my glasses up before tearing my concentration away from my computer. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “I wanted to see if you were up for drinks and maybe want to catch the Giants and Bucks game. I just so happen to have an extra ticket. Playoffs,” Scott bribed, showing off a toothy white grin.

  “Thanks, but I already have plans.” And like every other time in the last month, I politely declined, fabricating a reason as to why I couldn’t join them.

  Not being one to push, he nodded, letting me off the hook. “If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Okay, then.” He tapped the doorjamb twice and took off. “Have a good weekend.”

  “Have a good weekend,” I called after him, doing my best at sounding chipper.

  At least when Monday rolled around, and they were sharing their weekend indiscretions while appeasing their caffeine fix, I’d be able to give them something other than “it was good” and “nothing much.” My safe and politically correct responses, yet they were the honest-to-God truth.

  Since accepting the job offer and moving to San Francisco, my social life had been non-existent, and frankly, it was for the better. My heart hadn’t recovered from Levi’s parting words that night. It hurt more every time I thought of him and how he was feeling. In truth, asking for his heart back crushed me. Pummeled the organ in my chest. If he truly wanted it back, he could take mine as well. Have them both. I didn’t have any use for it anymore, I’d never want it again if I had to experience this kind of pain for a second time in my life.

  But my stepdad was in town and I was meeting him for a late dinner, and I was scared shitless. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since I had made my quiet exit out of Atlanta. My untimely departure may have been scheduled around him being away with his team, but with all that had happened, I had no idea how to face him. My mother did her best at trying to convince me that he was okay, he understood that sometimes things just don’t work out, but I wasn’t buying it. What would make our meeting hard to handle, was if I recognized the disappointment in his eyes.

  On top of it all, knowing Levi was in town and I wouldn’t see him had me questioning for the millionth time if I had made a colossal mistake. My aching heart said, “Yes,” but my career-driven mind said, “No.” How could I when I was standing front and center, gazing out at the fabulous one-eighty view of the Bay area from my twenty-first-floor office?

  This is what I had worked so hard for. I earned this. I was proud of what I had accomplished.

  My emotions had started to rear their ugly heads. Had Levi given it a bit of thought, taken a step back, and tried seeing it from my point of view, there might have been a chance to salvage the relationship we had nurtured to being something more. To see that accepting the offer was a once in a lifetime chance at proving to myself I had done it. I hadn’t turned out a statistic raised by a single parent. With my mother’s undying support, I had beaten all the odds and succeeded in my career goals. But why would he consider putting himself in my shoes when he was already living his dreams?

  Was I expected to sacrifice mine to be with him? It sure as hell felt like it.

  Either way I looked at it, I knew none of it mattered. One without the other left a gaping hole in my heart.

  On the heels of that thought, I packed up the few folders and the plans sitting on my desk and headed toward the bank of elevators. Biding my time on the twenty-floor descent, I pulled up the Uber app. There was no energy left in me to take the rail and walk the six blocks to my apartment. Not today. Not in brand new heels with my mind weighed down.

  The driver dropped me off right in front of my building and the closer I got to meeting with my stepfather, the more I wanted to cancel. To hideout and stay in. Have a nice, long soak in some lavender bubble bath with a soothing playlist and an entire bottle of wine.

  Juggling my purse and work bag on my shoulder, I unlocked the door and was about to kick it shut when the sound of a hand slapping the wood caught me off guard—had me fearing for my life.

  A scream lodged deep in my throat and fear wracked my entire body. I had dodged becoming one type of statistic only to be classified as another. This was it. My life was going to end. I hope it was quick and painless. Please don’t rape me before you kill me. Someone please tell Levi I will always love him.

  “Please don’t hurt me.” My voice quivered as my entire body shook.

  After a few seconds of nothing, the sound of a feminine giggle had me spinning on my heel, my sight burning through tiny slits, my jaw clenched.

  “Ga-Gabby,” I gasped, thankful and genuinely happy to see my sister. “You bitch! You scared me half to death.” I slapped her arm, my thundering heart starting to relax.

  “You really should be more aware of your surroundings,” she teased, smirking.

  “I live in a secure building.” I eyed her.

  “Then, why so dramatic?”

  “Human instinct.”

  She shrugged like it was no big deal that she showed up unannounced and scared me within an inch of my life. “Need some help?” She reached for my bag and locked the door behind her.

  “How’d you get in the building?” I dropped my purse on the island and gave my sister a long hug. “And why are you here?”

  “Do you really have to ask?” Her brow rose.

&
nbsp; I knew that she knew that I knew the Bucks were in town. Regardless if I was meeting with our stepfather, I had been following the team’s schedule since the day I left. Glutton for punishment, that was me. And I’d bet a month’s rent she was here because of it.

  “I was actually heading out. Dad’s in town and invited me to dinner. You want something to drink?” Deflecting, I pulled the refrigerator door open, appreciating the cool blast of air in my face.

  “He invited me too. Do you mind if I join you?”

  “Not at all.” I could use her as a buffer.

  “God, this place is gorgeous.” Gabby drew in a sharp breath, mesmerized by the view. The sun dipped just below the horizon, painting a pink, orange, and blue hue.

  “It is, isn’t it?” I moved to stand next to her, in awe of the natural beauty and handed her a glass of Pinot Noir.

  Two large picture windows reminded me of Levi’s home back in Buckhead. It had been the first thing I saw when apartment searching and had become the immediate deciding factor. I had to have it. It didn’t matter that the place had a five grand per month price tag. Living a penny-wise budget meant I could afford it.

  “So, what are you doing here?” I asked coolly.

  “I came to see you, silly, and scope out the place. I mean, if you’re staying wouldn’t it be cool if I got a job here too? Is this a one or two bedroom?”

  “Just one. Two was ridiculously out of my bracket.”

  Was I staying? The last thirty days had been some of the hardest, not to mention exhausting, trying to put on my game face and force myself to do a job I loved in a place I was quickly starting to resent.

  “It would, but why didn’t you call first?”

  “Do I need to?” she quipped.

  “No, but I don’t want you to be bored. I haven’t been the best company lately, but if you want to have fun, some of the engineers are hanging out, pre-gaming before the game. I could give them a call and see if they wouldn’t mind if you tag along. They’re a great group—”