Graceful Scars

by Savannah Stewart

  He looked exhausted as he brought his eyes to mine. How did such a wonderful night turn into such a horrific one? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I knew what I had to do to change things, and I couldn’t delay it any longer. “I need you to drop me off at my place,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

  “Okay, we can stop by there if you need to.” He wasn’t getting what I was trying to tell him.

  “No,” I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. “I need to go home, to stay the night there…alone.” His head jerked back in shock.

  “That’s not a good idea, Tegan.”

  “Talon, please don’t…” I started towards the car but he caught my arm, stopping me.

  “What are you doing, Tegan?” His eyes searched mine like he knew what I was up to.

  “I just want to go home, Talon. I need some time alone.” I replied sadly.

  “I don’t agree with it, but if that’s what you want, I can’t argue.” He let go of my arm and waited until I started walking again to follow.

  Zoey was sound asleep in the backseat the entire ride to my apartment. Talon and I hadn’t spoken a word since I told him I needed to be alone. The tension in the car was so thick a knife would have one helluva time cutting through it. I had made the situation what it was, but I had an end game. One that had to happen; it was the only way to stop the madness around me, the only way to keep my darkness from consuming everyone else, but my heart hurt just thinking about it. Being head over heels in love with someone that unexpectedly came into your life wasn’t something that I had thought would happen to me, but it did.

  I let out a shaky breath and wiped away the tear that had slid down my cheek. Talon was looking straight ahead as we sat in the parking space allotted for my apartment number. I didn’t know what to say so I leaned across the center console, kissed his cheek, and got of the car before he could stop me. I ran through the rain that was beating down angrily from the sky and pressed the code in to enter my building without looking back. Once the door shut securely I turned and watched the taillights of his car fade into the night, carrying away two of the people that made me unbelievably happy.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The numbers on the clock read six thirty-eight in the morning. I still hadn’t gone to sleep. So much for having a fresh mind to work on things, mine was clouded with regret, hurt, and the feeling of being completely terrified of what the coming days would bring. Around five that morning Adalynn had texted me saying the studio was closed until further notice due to the investigation. I knew that was coming. My entire life revolved around that studio…so did hers. Hell, any more the studio was more hers than mine. Yet another factor I had been slacking on in my life. I had numerous missed calls from Talon throughout the night, and almost every single one was followed by a text begging me to answer. I didn’t.

  I rolled onto my side and pulled the comforter up around me. Staying in bed all day was looking like a grand idea to me. After I had come in the night before I went straight for the shower. I turned the water up as hot as I could stand and let the water pummel down on me. It didn’t take long for the tears to rip through me like a hurricane. I felt like a plate that had a long crack in it, and at any moment said plate would shatter into tiny pieces that wouldn’t allow it to be put back together again. I hated broken plates.

  Depression was rearing its ugly head and the sun shining through the sliver of the window across from my bed that wasn’t covered by the curtains was pissing me the hell off. Today shouldn’t be full of sun shine! It should have been like the night before….packed full of rain and clouds.

  I sighed in annoyance and forced myself out of the bed. I crossed the room and jerked the curtains over in hopes of blocking out that little ray of happiness but instead I pulled the curtains and curtain rod down. “Son of a bitch!” I yelped as the curtain rod knocked me in the head. I rubbed the now-pulsating sore spot on my head and left the curtains on the floor. Hello, fucking sunshine!

  I flipped the light on in the bathroom to collect the pile of clothes I had left there when I came home. They were still sopping wet on the floor. Nice move, Tegan. Not only did I have to wash those bad boys, but the floor needed to be cleaned too. Taking the clothes to the washer, I dumped them in and grabbed the mop to clean up the disgusting puddle of muddy-looking rain water. As I walked back into the bathroom I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. To say the reflection staring back at me looked like hammered shit would be a nice way to put it. The tattered night shirt I was wearing had seen better days. Around the collar the material was ripped away from it in places and the once pale blue color had faded away to more of a dirty-looking off white. My eyes were still red and puffy from all of the crying and lack of sleep, my hair was a ratted mess, twisted up into what was a messy bun but was more along the lines of a rats nest from sleeping on it. I quickly turned away and began mopping. My cell phone started blaring from the bedroom so I leaned the mop against the wall and went to see who was calling. The screen blinked Talon’s name across it and I felt my heart spike in my chest.

  I ignored the call.

  Flipping the ringer on my phone to off, I went to clean out the mop and put it away. I hated ignoring Talon, I really did, especially after the experience we’d had together before the horrible part of the night unfolded. I just wasn’t good at dealing with my emotions, and keeping myself away from it all was the only way I felt just a little bit sane.

  Scrubbing, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, that’s how I spent the day. I guess cleaning up my mess on the bathroom floor unleashed something inside of me. Instead of lying around like I had initially planned, I busted my ass cleaning every single nook and cranny of my apartment. Still clothed in my ratty-ass night shirt, I wiped my hair from my forehead with the back of my hand and took a large drink of tap water. I was beat. But at least I had a spotlessly clean living space. The loud thud from someone repeatedly banging their fist against my front door scared the living shit out of me! I jumped, almost spilling my water before setting it on the counter and stomping towards the door.

  Without thinking about who it could be, I swung it open, “What?!” I half yelled, half growled.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?!” Talon’s voice boomed as he walked forward, pushing me backwards into my apartment and shutting the door behind him.

  Oh, Shit.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I stuttered my way through the sentence as I diverted my eyes away from his midnight black ones.

  “Tegan,” he growled my name. My heart was racing so fast and my palms were sweating. “I called you, I don’t know how many times, and you didn’t answer a fucking one of them. I understand you’re upset, and having a shitty-ass couple of days but I thought I meant more to you than someone you would blow off. You jumped out of the car and ran last night, I gave you space and didn’t follow you.” He rounded the kitchen island I had retreated behind and stalked towards me. “You’ve ignored me long enough, Tegan.” His voice was low as he backed me up against the counter. “I’m not allowing you to push me away or whatever you’re trying to do.” He dropped his mouth to my neck and ran his lips softly up the curve as he spoke. “You’re not getting rid of me because life gets too hard.” My breath hitched as he nibbled my earlobe. “I want you…and everything that comes with you.” His hands grabbed my waist and hoisted me up onto the counter. Talon pushed my legs open and stepped between them as he cupped my face in his hands. I was staring at him in pure awe…shock…and want. I had completely forgotten just how horrible I looked until I reached up to move a stray piece of hair out of my eyes.

  My ratted night shirt was hiked up around my waist, barely covering my private parts, and the wider Talon forced my legs open, the more skin of mine was exposed. “I—I…” I tried to form some kind of explanation for the way I had been acting but I couldn’t. I was in shock that he had shown up and he had me up on the counter like he did. My body was humming with need and my mind was foggy f
rom the thought of him inside of me again. So instead of replying I wrapped a hand around his head and roughly crashed our lips together. His teeth dug into my bottom lip and the metallic taste of blood lightly filled my mouth. Ignoring it, we devoured one another in a furious way that was so different than any time before. I grabbed the hem of his long-sleeve burgundy shirt and ripped it over his head. Being on the counter gave me a height advantage for once. For the moment that our lips weren’t together I closed my eyes as his hands slid beneath my night shirt.

  My bottom lip was thumping from the bite mark Talon had left so I sucked it into my mouth to try and soothe it as his fingertip slid down the material of the front of my panties. I groaned from the attention he was giving me. It felt nice but my legs were trying to squeeze together from the need for more. I scooted forward, forcing his fingers harder against me and a low rumble vibrated through his chest. He was laughing at me. I snapped my eyes open and found Talon squatting down with his head right in front of the opening of my legs. Heat engulfed my skin from the smoldering look in his eyes so I opened my legs even wider and continued to suck on my bottom lip.

  As Talon pulled my panties down my legs, he ran kisses up the inside of my thigh. The sensations were building already, so I knew it wouldn’t take me long to reach my climax. His breath was hot against my center and the moment his tongue darted out and ran up me I dropped my head back and cried out in pure ecstasy. My legs kept trying to close together from the intensity of his mouth on me but he positioned himself against one of my legs to hold it open while his hand held the other. He continued to devour me as he dragged his thumb in slow circles against my clit, gradually building the speed as he went. My breathing became erratic and the moment he pushed two fingers into me and curled them up just enough to hit my sweet spot I lost it. I gripped a fist full of his hair and rode out my orgasm as he continued to lap me up while pumping his fingers in and out of me.

  My limbs were slack as Talon stood, picked me up from the counter and carried me back to my bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed and discarded the rest of his clothes and climbed over of me.

  “On your back.” I pushed his chest so he would move, and he did. Once he was lying on his back I removed my nightshirt, leaving myself completely naked, and moved so that I was straddling him. His erection was rubbing against me, making my already sensitive flesh beg for more. Talon reached his hands up as I positioned him at my opening and slid down him until I was fully seated. I linked my hands with his as I began to move. The feeling of him so deeply inside of me like that was different from the first time. I rocked my hips back and forth before moving up and down at a slow rate and repeating. His mouth was slack and his eyes were closed as he whispered my name. Everything about the moment felt right, it felt good, and I never wanted to forget it.

  I picked up the pace until I was riding him so hard that I thought at any moment one of us would break, but the force was phenomenal. He let go of my hands and I collapsed forward against him, bracing myself against his chest as I continued to move roughly against him. He cupped my breasts as I sat back up and threw my head back so that I was looking up at the ceiling. When his thumb came down on my clit and began moving frantically I knew that I was a goner. The most powerful orgasm I had ever experienced crashed down on me as I continued to rock back and forth on Talon. He called out my name as I felt his release within me. Then it hit me…we hadn’t used protection. Even though I was on the pill I knew it meant more than the first time. It was a bigger step than simply having sex. He didn’t know if I was affected from what had happened to me; either it was a mistake on both of our parts, or he truly didn’t care.

  Talon wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me down to his chest. His lips found mine and we kissed deeply, our tongues rolling against one another and our sweat slicked bodies molding together. “That was amazing…” His breathless voice caused my heart to flutter. It was amazing.

  “Yes it was.” I snuggled my head against his shoulder as I moved my body off of his.

  He got up from the bed and stopped midway to the door. “We didn’t use protection.” He sounded dumbfounded.

  Here it comes.

  “We didn’t,” I replied.

  Talon turned to face me as the tears started to well in my eyes. I knew it was a mistake, he hadn’t meant for us to do that. He quickly crossed the room and cupped my face. “Why are you upset?” His dark eyes bored into mine.

  My lip started to quiver so I sucked it into my mouth. “Because that was a mistake.”

  Talon’s eyes softened as he pressed his lips against mine. “Did I come over here in hopes that that would happen? No. But I wouldn’t call it a mistake. I love you, Tegan, so fucking much. What do I have to do to get that through your head?”

  I smiled a small smile. “I’m on the pill.”

  “And if you weren’t, we would still be okay.”

  I couldn’t believe what he had said. Talon would have been okay even if I wasn’t on the pill. He never brought up what happened to me or asked if I was tested afterwards, which I was, but that was something I would think would be eating away at him. Because for a while there it had eaten away at me as I waited for the test results from that night.

  “I’m clean,” I blurted out.

  Talon’s head jerked back as his brows furrowed from my admission before he realized what I was actually saying. He smoothed a hand across my cheek and I turned my face into it. “You don’t have to justify anything to me, darling.” My heart swelled. I loved Talon with all of my being, and there was nothing I could do to change that, even if I had wanted to.

  “Do you want to talk about what happened at the studio last night?” Talon asked as he took another bite of the Chicago-style pizza we had ordered.

  I took another bite myself and slowly chewed. I didn’t know what to say or where to start. I honestly felt like completely avoiding it in hopes that everything would just go away, but I knew better than that. I knew instances such as this never truly went away; you either dealt with them or allowed them to root deeply into your soul and ruin your life. I knew that all too well.

  “I haven’t heard anything.”

  “Adalynn has been trying to get a hold of you…” He let the remainder of that sentence drop off before continuing. “Heather’s parents aren’t pressing charges, but a lot of parents have pulled their daughters from Graceful Moves because the area isn’t safe.” I felt the blood drain from my face as his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

  I was losing my girls, my livelihood, and my studio because of that bastard! He not only ruined me as a person but he was ruining my entire life for the second time, even though he’s dead, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The tears hit me full force as I dropped my pizza on the plate in front me. I covered my face with my hands and started to cry uncontrollably.

  “Hey, hey, hey…” Talon was by my side in no time, holding me against his chest. “It’ll be okay! I promise you. We will find a way to get things back up and running. Don’t give up yet.”

  I was tired, so unbelievably tired, of the negative overlapping the positive around me. The good moments of the days were the times I spent with Talon, but the bad moments always seemed to creep back in. Like the news he had just handed me. It seemed like I cried more often than not anymore and I didn’t want to continue to live a life where that was the case.

  “Sorry.” I leaned back from his embrace and wiped the wetness from my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt. “I’m sorry that all I do is cry for the most part anymore. I haven’t always been this way.” I looked down at the pizza slice on my plate.

  “You have every right to cry when you feel like crying. Life hasn’t been the easiest for you, but I’m going to try like hell to change that. I promise you, Tegan.” He smoothed a hand down my hair, still damp from the shower we had taken together after our bedroom encounter and kissed my cheek. “How about we leave town for a few days? Pack up and go somewhere where we can be
whoever in the hell we want to be. We can forget about everything that has been pulling us down and simply enjoy our time together without any interruptions.”

  I was looking at him like he had lost his mind, but the temptation of a getaway sounded wonderful. “I don’t know…” There was so much that needed to be taken care of, I didn’t know if it was a good time to be running off, but I wanted it so badly. “What about Zoey, and the studio? I can’t just up and leave Adalynn with it all.”

  “I will take care of all of that.” A huge grin spread across Talon’s face as he got to his feet and headed towards the door. “Pack a bag and I’ll be back in a few hours to get you.” He slid his coat on and was dialing on his cell as he shut the door behind him, leaving me sitting in the kitchen with butterflies swarming in my stomach. We were getting our own little getaway!

  Chapter Fourteen

  Talon hadn’t budged on telling me where we were going and about three hours into the drive a sign for Eagle Ridge came into view and the most beautiful scenery surrounded us. “It’s beautiful here!” I said in awe as I watched the trees and cabins pass us by. The dusk colors of the sky made it seem like a painting and far from being realistic. Talon’s hand squeezed mine where they were resting on the center console.

  Somehow he had managed to get Zoey to crash at Adalynn’s while we were gone and since so many students had dropped out of class at Graceful Moves, the studio would be closed until further notice. I was devastated about that but Abigail and I had had a long talk previous to Talon getting back to my apartment. As cliché as it sounds she got me to realize that everything happens for a reason; Talon coming into my life when he did happened for a reason, Adalynn being the person to take over things in the studio happened for a reason, and Graceful Moves losing most of its dancers also happened for a reason. Those reasons I had yet to figure out, but I was learning to simply take a deep breath and ride by the seat of my pants.