What I Remember Most

by Cathy Lamb

  A: A kennel. A kennel like, for a dog. Why did I have to stay in a kennel? Do I look like a dog? No. Where’s the floppy ears and the tail? See my butt? There’s no tail. So why was I there?

  Q: Was there a blanket in the kennel?

  A: Pink blanket. Had bugs on it. Like spiders and lice that make your head itch.

  Q: What did you eat?

  A: Me and Spikey ate the same food.

  Q: Who is Spikey?

  A: The dog. Mean dog.

  Q: What kind of food did you eat?

  A: Dog food. The type in the purple bag with the gold dog on the front.

  Q: So you shared with Spikey?

  A: Yeah, but he didn’t like to share. He bites. Bites hard.

  Q: What did you drink?

  A: The water in the blue dish. Not the red dish. They told me to pee in the red dish like a dog. They treated me worse than a bad dog.

  MR. OROKOFF: Objection.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: No reason to object. Sit down. Overruled.

  MS. SILVERS: Your honor, opposing counsel is trying to intimidate my witness. She’s a child.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Counselor, sit down, and if there is one more unwarranted interruption, you will be removed from court and your assistant will carry on for you.

  MISS WILD: He’s bad, too.

  MS. SILVERS: Who’s bad?

  A: That man the judge said to sit down. He told me when I first met him that I imagined what Mr. and Mrs. Berlinsky did to me.

  He said I dreamed it. Or nightmared it. He said it didn’t happen. He said they’re nice people. They’re not nice people, you penis, Mr. Berlinsky. You spanked me. I want to spank you back with your belt like you did me.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, please don’t yell in court, and you can’t use the word penis.

  MISS WILD: I’m sorry.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: It’s okay, but you need to be polite and answer the questions.

  MISS WILD: But he is one. A penis. I didn’t dream it. I didn’t imagine it. That Orocoughy [spelled phonetically, as spoken] man said the Berlinskys didn’t put a leash around my neck, but they did. It happened. His face looks like a fat skull. I hate skulls.

  MR. OROKOFF: Objection. Move to strike the comment about my face looking like a fat skull.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Jury, you will disregard that Grenadine said that Mr. Orokoff has a face that looks like a fat skull.

  MS. SILVERS: Grenadine, please tell us what happened to you in the Berlinsky home.

  A: I will, but you have to promise me that I’m not going to jail and I’m not going to have to live with them again and that Mrs. Berlinsky will never get the chance to cut off my toes.

  Q: That’s correct. You are not going to jail, ever, for this. You did nothing wrong. You are not on trial, Grenadine, the Berlinskys are. You will never have to live with them again. Mrs. Berlinsky will never be able to cut off your toes. Do you want a tissue?

  A: Yes. But I’m trying not to cry. Mrs. Berlinsky said she’d cut them off with a knife or pliers if I ever told what happened. The boys held me down one day, and she put the pliers on my toes and pulled. It hurt. But if you promise, I’ll tell you about living with them. You do promise? Okay. I was hungry all the time. I couldn’t stand up in the kennel. I had to sit or lay down.

  Tom Jr. and Kevin pulled my hair and put a leash or a rope around my neck and took me for walks and they hit me with sticks if I couldn’t keep up with them and called me doggy and dog shit. Sorry to you, Judge, for the bad word, shit, that’s what they told me. They would take me out in my shorts and a T-shirt and it would be snowing and I’d get so cold I couldn’t breathe.

  Q: Do you need a break, Grenadine, to get the tears under control?

  A: No, I don’t need a break. I’m going to tell on Mr. and Mrs. Berlinsky so they can never have other kids in their house again. Mrs. Berlinsky used to put me outside even in the rain in the kennel to sleep on a rug and she also screamed at me.

  Q: Were you afraid of her?

  MR. OROKOFF: Objection. Leading the witness.

  MISS WILD: Sit down, dirty penis.

  JUDGE CARRODONE: Grenadine, you can’t say that to Mr. Orokoff. And no yelling. Here’s a tissue. Dry your eyes, take a breath, we can take a break if you want—

  MISS WILD: I’m not taking that word back, Judge, but I say sorry to you for my bad words. Mrs. Berlinsky, she told me no one wanted me, but I already know it. My parents did, but they’re gone, and they’ll come back and then my dad is going to beat you both up.

  You called me ugly and weird, Mrs. Berlinsky, yes, you did. Don’t shake your head and smile that weird smile like you’re trying to be smart and I’m stupid. You hit me, too, on my face and on my head and on my back.

  MS. SILVERS: What did she hit you with?

  A: Her hand and a belt and a hammer three times when I snuck upstairs for food and the kids were allowed to hit me with their model airplanes on the head and in the face. They didn’t feed me. I’m a kid. Kids need food. How come they didn’t feed me? Pretty soon all I can do is lay down in the cage and not move and I’m so hungry my stomach is eating me and then I get sick because I got cold one night, and I told them I can’t breathe right, but they all laughed like it was funny when I was coughing and I was shaking like this—see how my body is moving? That’s what happened. And I got sicker and sicker and my hair starts to fall out on the pink blanket and I’m so thirsty but the dog drinks most of the water first and the boys come and say I’m ugly. I’m ugly? They’re ugly. You got ugly kids, Berlinsky butts.

  MR. OROKOFF: Objection. Witness is not answering the question. She’s speech making.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Overruled.

  MISS WILD: I don’t even know how to say a speech. You don’t like the answer because you want me to sit up here and say I dreamed the whole thing. Why don’t you suck in your stomach and sit down and shut up, fat skull face.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, calm down. You can’t yell in here—

  MISS WILD: And they took my lily bracelet and I only got it back after Dr. Chakrabarti told that woman from the department for kids that if she didn’t go and get my bracelet for me that he was going to file a report against her. That was from my mom for me, not for you, fat Mrs. Berlinsky, and you, smelly Mr. Berlinsky, and also they laughed at me. They always laughed at me and called me Bugs because of the bug bites and bugs in my hair and sometimes they called me Fleas because they were on me, too. And they called me scabies. Little Miss Scabies. Bug girl. Lice kid. How would you like to be called Lice Kid?

  MS. SILVERS: Here’s another tissue, honey. Did you ever get a bath?

  A: Sometimes they turned a hose on over my head outside in the backyard by the chickens, but that didn’t kill the bugs in my hair, and the fleas were on the blanket so I still itched and they ate my hair up and it fell out.

  Q: Your hair looks nice now.

  A: That’s because Dr. Chakrabarti and the nurses got rid of the bugs in my hair and in my ears and in my tummy and all the yucky junk between my toes. And I had worms inside of me, too. You ever have worms inside of you? The doctor had to give me worm killer medicine to get rid of them. They itched my butt. And that’s not all the doctors had to do, either. They had to give me other medicine and a needle up my arm to feed me more food. But when I was better I had all the food I could eat at the hospital. Plus milkshakes in the afternoons. Chocolate and vanilla. Two types. And Jell-O, green and red, and pizza.

  Q: Were the Berlinskys ever nice to you?

  A: Only when Mrs. Valencia came to visit. Then they would hose me off like I was Spikey and put something on my hair for the bugs and put me in a long-sleeved shirt or some weird dress with ruffles to hide the bruises and tell me to be good and smile a lot or they would use the hammer on my knees again and I didn’t want my knees hammered. That hurts. Have you ever had your knees hammered? Or they said they would put a black snake in the kennel. They even showed me a picture of the snake.

  MR. OROKOFF: Object
ion.

  MISS WILD: Oh, you sit down and shut up. All you want to do is lie and say the Berlinskys were good to me so they don’t get in trouble, but I told you what they did to me. I don’t care if you believe me or not because you are bad to protect those bad people who hurt me, a kid. I’m a kid. Why do you want to help mean people who hit kids and put them in a kennel and don’t give them food? You’re a jerk.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, sit down. We’re taking a break. Fifteen minutes.

  MISS WILD: And I may be stupid, Berlinsky butts, I don’t spell too good, but I can spell these two words: F.U.C.K. You. That spells fuck you.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, we will now begin the portion of the trial where Mr. Orokoff asks you some questions. Please remember what Ms. Silvers talked about with you at the break. You are to answer the questions as best you can, politely. Do you understand?

  MS. WILD: Yes.

  MR. OROKOFF: Hello, Grenadine.

  A: What do you want, fat skull face? And don’t tell me that I don’t know the difference between the truth and a lie like you did before, because I do.

  Q: I’m not going to say that to you, Grenadine—

  A: You better not. I’m telling the truth. Even Dr. Chakrabarti saw my whole body when I was in the hospital. I had broken ribs, right here, this side, for a long time. Do you know what broken ribs feel like? They hurt. That’s where the Berlinsky boys kicked me. I had scars on my back from that belt and the cigarette burns and a lot of bruises and I weighed only forty pounds and I had papnemonia. He’ll tell you.

  Q: Yes, I know. Dr. Chakrabarti already testified, but what I want to talk to you about is—

  A: I don’t know what that tess a fied [spelled phonetically, as spoken] word means, but Dr. Chakrabarti knows and the nurses know I could hardly breathe. He said no one should hurt a kid ever and he was supermad that they—those mean fat people—hurt me. Hi, Dr. Chakrabarti.

  DR. PARESH CHAKRABARTI (from the courtroom): Hello, Grenadine.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, you can’t talk to people in the courtroom, only Mr. Orokoff right now.

  MISS WILD: But I don’t want to talk to him. Hi, Dr. Chakrabarti. Hi to the nurses, too. Hi, Nurse Susan. Hi, Nurse Debbie. Hi, Nurse Joan. Dr. Chakrabarti, did you tell them how I was in the hospital . . . you already did? Good. How’s your wife? How’s the baby, Ruchira? You have a picture to show me? I’ll see it later when penis man sits down.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine, I know you don’t want to talk to Mr. Orokoff, but you have to because Mr. and Mrs. Berlinsky are on trial.

  MISS WILD: What else do you want to know, penis?

  MR. OROKOFF: Judge, please ask Grenadine not to use that word.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: You can do that, can’t you?

  MR. OROKOFF: Don’t call me, penis, Grenadine.

  MISS WILD: No, penis.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Please sit down in the witness chair, Grenadine.

  MISS WILD: No. He gets to stand up and he’s taller than me and he’s trying to scare me by being taller and using a big voice. So I’m going to stand. Sorry to you, Judge. I’m sick of this. What other stupid questions do you have, stupid face?

  MR. OROKOFF: Objection. She can’t talk to me like that.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Grenadine.

  MISS WILD: Why don’t you ask me how many times I had to take an ice bath? Do you know what that’s like? Especially when someone dunks your head under the water? Mrs. Berlinsky said she was trying to kill the lice. She was trying to drowned me. Can I tell now how Mrs. Berlinsky used to put me in her closet? The kennel was better than the closet. No air, no sun for three days all because I took an apple. There was a rat in the closet.

  MR. OROKOFF: I didn’t ask about the closet. Please answer only the questions I ask you.

  MISS WILD: I’m going to answer whatever questions I want. The rats bit me, too. On my toes. That’s why I got the infection that Dr. Chakrabarti had to fix. Hi, Dr. Chakrabarti. Hi, nurses. And you know how I got the bruises on my head? From being hit. And you know why I was all flaky? Because I didn’t get enough water. And you know why I had hardly any hair? Because I didn’t get good food and it got pulled out and the lice ate it. Now my hair’s pretty because my foster mother feeds me all the time and gives me extra snacks in my backpack. Three a day.

  MR OROKOFF: Grenadine, how many nights total did you spend in the kennel? Two? Three? And wasn’t it part of a game you were playing with the Berlinsky boys if you’re totally honest here today?

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Okay, that’s enough. Do not throw a pen again, Grenadine. Do not throw your shoe. Grenadine, please. No yelling—

  MISS WILD: You bald liar penis. I spent almost every night in the kennel, and they would lock me in and you know it. You want to sleep in a cage?

  MR. OROKOFF: Did you pull your own hair out?

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Okay, Grenadine. That’s enough. You’ve thrown both shoes now, settle down. Please sit down. Stop shouting.

  MISS WILD: Why would I pull my hair out? That hurts. It fell out. I remember. Looks like your hair is falling out, too, but not because you weren’t fed. You’re fed too much. What other questions do you want to ask? Want me to tell you how Mr. Berlinsky stomped on a chick with his feet and made me watch the chick die? He said they were going to do that to me if I told. They made chicken noises at me. Then he killed another one. Six in all. Dead from his boot.

  Q: Okay. Calm down. Please.

  A: You calm down. You put your hands down. You back up. You stop talking to me like you think I’m dumb. You quit trying to scare me. Why don’t you answer these questions: Why did Mrs. Berlinsky put her cigarettes out on my arm? Why did she shake me? Why did Mr. Berlinsky yell at me and scare me? Why did they let the boys poke me with sticks when I was in the kennel? Why didn’t they give me a blanket with no lice?

  Q: I have no further questions.

  A: Good. Go and sit down with the Berlinsky butts who said they were nice to me. If they were nice to me, why did they call me Dog? That was my name, Dog.

  Q: Judge, please. I said I have no further questions. She should leave the stand.

  A: What stand? I’m standing up right now. I’m not going to sit. I want to tell all you people and you the judge what they did to me. You go sit down. Sit! Sit! Like a dog. That’s what that whole family said to me. Sit! Beg! Roll over! Why did I have to beg for food? Why was I put in that home? I kept hoping someone would come and I could tell them about the kennel and ask for a new family, but no one came. Why didn’t anyone come get me? Why did they forget about me?

  Q: Objection.

  JUDGE CARRADONE: Overruled.

  MISS WILD: Shut up, penis. I objection to you. When are my parents getting here? The Berlinskys said my parents are dead. Are they dead? My mother had a red, crocheted shawl. Did anybody find that? What about my dad’s guitar? I know the police were looking for them. Why won’t anyone answer me?

  Sentencing Hearing

  Tom and Adelly Berlinsky

  Judge Emily Carradone

  Tom and Adelly Berlinsky, you were found guilty on all charges by a jury of your peers ten weeks ago. I have never, in twenty-five years of being a judge, had a jury come back so fast with their verdict.

  Your abuse of Grenadine Scotch Wild is appalling. I am sickened by you and by your actions towards a child in your home. You were charged to take care of her, to feed and nurture her, and instead you tortured her in a kennel. You starved and beat her. You burned her.

  Your lack of remorse and regret shows you have no conception of the damage you have caused this innocent child.

  That you encouraged your own sons to do the same, to degrade, humiliate, and abuse another human being, shows yet another part of your sick, twisted personalities. As you know, your sons are now in foster care, as no one in your families thought they were capable of taking care of them.