Lost Little Wolf

by N. K. Vir

  Her head spun to the left. A small round table sat in the center of the shop. Small baskets decorated its surface containing everything from black salts to pre-packaged voodoo dolls. Blindfolded she could have found the basket she was looking for. She needed sage, white sage, to be specific. The nasties clung to her aura and she needed to send them running for cover before she picked out the perfect stone to send with Tanith to the Otherside; and for that she needed a clear head.

  Ideally she would have bathed and prepared herself for such a monumental choice; time had not afforded her such a luxury. She could only hope that a quick cleanse in a sage smoke bath would do. She patted down her body, praying that she had not forgotten her lucky white lighter. She sighed audibly when her hands found the familiar bulge in her pocket.

  Fate was on her side.

  She snagged a bundle of white sage from the display and promised to repay the shop for everything she pilfered today. She waited a moment. When no new calamity befell her she took the sign from the universe that she was walking on the right path and continued. Karma was a bitch. She did not want to feel her pretty bite.

  Candles and a crack of fresh air were luxuries she could not afford so she settled for a quick flick of her bick and allowed the sage stick to do the rest for her. The smoke started in a tight line but the more she wafted the smoldering stick through her aura the lighter and more robust the smoke became. She could feel her worry lighten as the sacred smoke took away the sticky nasties that clung to her looking for the free ride. She placed the sage stick in a heat safe bowl and concentrated on what she had come in search of.

  She sat; legs neatly crossed beneath her. She empty her mind of all the worry it had been carrying and focused on what she needed; a song. Something had to sing to her. A stone had to be willing to carry out the long journey she had pressing against her third eye. She forced her mind to remember everything as she called out to a stone; Wills’ request, Tanith’s path, Lucas’ trouble and the magick Kieran was going to pump into it. Colorful ribbons of energy reached out from the empty space between her eyebrows as she allowed her natural eyes to drift closed. She followed each one searching for a willing participant; hoping one small stone was willing and able to carry the duty that would be assigned to it.

  It did not take long before one stone jumped out to her; promising that it had the will and determination to take on the mission.

  He didn’t want to do it.

  He had promised; he had sworn never to use his magick again. She was asking him, begging him to betray that vow now. In the past forty-eight hours he had swallowed down the urge, the anger, which always shadowed his magick into a bottle that he had tightly sealed. He feared uncorking that bottle now. Regardless of what she had tried to convince him of, his errant magick had caused her blindness. He would not open that bottle again.

  “Kieran I can see it,” she insisted again. He had lost count of the amount of times she had repeated that phrase.

  She couldn’t see anything; his magick had ensured that.

  He had never had to pay the price for his magick. It was the one lesson that had been instilled in every witch from the moment that they first cast a spell. At times he had been reckless with his magick. In the past there was little that could dissuade him from using his magick. He had showed off to Wills when they were both barely five and he had gotten a very hard slap on the wrist. He hadn’t learned the lesson when he was five; he had learned it now.

  Every witch was trained to follow one path; one element. He had been born to learn them all. It was a burden he found he could not safely carry and so he sought the only solution available to him; he shut himself down. She was teasing him with the simplest form of magick; one he had been naturally born with. Earth magick was as simple for him as turning on a light switch. She wasn’t testing the limit of his power; she was asking him to use what came natural to him and it terrified him.

  Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, enchanting a stone born from the Earth would have been as easy as closing his eyes, rubbing his palms together and whispering a few words. People asked him for such favors every day in his parents’ shop. He would willingly oblige them never once giving a second thought to minor magick he had conjured. Now he knew, he had lived through the consequences of one misspoken word, one errant thought. She was currently staring blindly up at him; her sightless eyes begging him for something he could not give.

  “We’ve all given away something we never thought we would be willing to sacrifice,” she scolded him; breaking through his thoughts. “I can read one book,” she said fighting back tears. “Every page is suddenly legible as if these worked,” she choked out slapping the heel of her palms into the eyes he had blinded.

  “Don’t,” he whispered prying her hands away from her eyes.

  “Then don’t hide from the power that you were born with,” she challenged pounding her fists against his chest. “Fear will take you far,” she pointed out pressing her palms against his chest. “It’ll carry you down; drag you into an abyss you might never be able to climb out of.”

  She slid her hands up his chest capturing his face in the palms of her hands; holding him captive as her sightless eyes bore deep holes into his psyche. The hollow grey color of her irises dug into him. He could feel her pulling at him, yanking him from the deep waters he was willingly drowning in. He wanted to latch onto the lifeline she was throwing to him; but still couldn’t trust that he was doing so for the right reasons.

  “I’m too dangerous,” he protested weakly resting his forehead against hers as his eyes drifted closed. By the gods he found it difficult to refuse her anything.

  He felt one of her hands drift away from his face but refused to look and watch her retreat from him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist refusing to let her go; unsure of what he was clinging to.

  “Are your eyes closed?” she asked.

  He nodded his head unwilling to trust his voice. He exhaled and felt his own breath rebound back onto his mouth. She was still close; still holding onto him. Even now, when he had refused her everything, she still held onto him.

  “See what I see,” she whispered against his mouth before her lips pressed against his; capturing his mouth in a soul searing kiss.

  Light exploded behind his sealed eyelids. The kaleidoscope effect burst behind the dark side of his eyes. Thin lines cross-hatched by thick swaths of ink appeared. The lines transformed from illegible to words he could understand as English letters appeared one after the other. Individual letters attached themselves to each other to form words he could understand. Words created sentences and sentences drifted into paragraphs. His tightly sealed eyes followed their path as ancient text translated rapidly before his eyes.

  “Do you see it?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he exhaled in awe.

  Every sentence led off onto another path he wanted to explore. His mind eager to explore every possibility as the world suddenly became a puzzle he wanted, needed, to solve. He chased a few; straying down endless dead ends before circling back to where he had started. He saw myth that had twisted around history and barely repelled the urge to unwind the two. One path drew him more than the others. He followed it; allowing it to suck him deeper and further than almost time itself. When he reached the end he found his lungs were gasping for breath.

  He saw it; the one point of light that had drawn her. In its light he saw the beginning and the end of man. In its light he saw them. Their arms entwined; their lips meeting upon a breath as the world that was to come and the world that had passed met. They were the beginning and the end. This moment had passed them by before and yet it was so distantly placed in their future that he could not tell where or when he was.

  He shoved himself away from her unable to take anymore.

  “I see it,” he breathlessly gasped. “I saw it.” He shook his head trying to free his mind of the unsettling thoughts that had taken up residence. “We’ve been here before.”

&nb
sp; “Yes,” she agreed. “And we will be again. The only thing I cannot see is where we will go.”

  He pushed away from her, breaking the delicate contact. “Is that what you see,” he wondered aloud. “All the time?”

  “Yes,” she declared sinking into the chair beneath her. He watched her chest heave in exhaustion from what she had just shown him. “There are endless possibilities that stretch out before us. What matters now is what we do in this moment. I can live without my sight. You can live without your magick. But can Lucas live without Tanith?” she questioned pushing him to reach the same conclusion she had.

  He shook his head. “No more than I can live without you,” he responded; the words falling from his mouth.

  She smiled exhaustedly up at him. “Then let’s give them a tomorrow,” she suggested. “Any tomorrow,” she begged.

  He knew what she wanted him to do; he just hoped he had the restraint to give her what she needed. “I’ll try,” he promised all the while secretly knowing it was a lie.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Birth of a Faeriedae

  The weight of the moon pressed down upon her. She could feel the pressure of the day that was to come but quickly brushed it aside. She was basking in the warmth and glow of this perfect day. She could still feel his heart beating, pressing against her chest. She was where she belonged; where she was always meant to be. The soft heavy rise and fall of her even breathing pressed him deeper into the warm earth that wrapped around his back. With every breath she pressed him deeper into the earth that he would roam forever without her. Strangely none of that mattered.

  In that moment, in that one special moment, before she died and was reborn wrapped in the comfort of his arms; she had said the words. Those precious words she had not realized he had needed to hear. Those precious words she had not realized she needed to say.

  She loved him.

  Her quiet confession was easy to make; just as simple as breathing. She inhaled the thought and exhaled the words on a sigh. Three little words suddenly made all the difference in her life. She had freed herself from a heavy weight she didn’t realize she had been carrying. Maybe it was because Daisy had freed her memories; or maybe she had known how she felt all along but had been too blind, to scared, to admit her feelings even to herself.

  She pressed the shell of her ear against the scarred, bare skin of his chest while the tip of her finger traced the outline of the oldest scar on his body. The brand had healed a long time ago but she knew he still carried the pain of it every day. His hand pressed against hers; stopping her from circling the scar he never talked about.

  “I can hear your heart,” she said with a smile. “It feels like it’s moving in sync with mine.”

  “It always has. It’s a Were thing,” he sighed pulling her hand away from his scar. They were the first words he had spoken to her since she confessed her feelings for him. Luckily she was confident enough not to take it personally. His mind was elsewhere; probably in the same spot hers had been moments before.

  She lifted her head, resting her chin on his chest she looked up at him. His dark eyes were locked on the nearly full moon that hung above the clearing. The silvery moon engulfed the small opening in the forest ceiling making it appear larger than normal. They had both just experienced the greatest night of their lives and he couldn’t even allow himself to enjoy the moment.

  “I recognize your scar,” she said trying to tempt his eyes away from the weight of the future that was, quite literally, looming over their head. He didn’t even blink. “Not just from the countless times I’ve seen without your shirt on,” she tried again trying to inject a little levity into her voice. “I recognize it from home.”

  Finally his eyes left the sky to meet hers. The light of his wolf swirled around his irises. The curse was already taking effect. She wished she could feed him her blood and she would, if she knew how blood magick worked. She wanted to leave him with a part of her that he could not forget even if his mind lost contact with his memories. She wanted him to carry her with him always.

  She sat up, straddling his legs. She pressed the palms of both hands against the scar he hid in shame from the world. His body stiffened beneath her as a gasp of shock fell from his lips. His eyes rolled back in his head and yet she pressed down harder. His hands latched onto her wrists trying to pry her hands away. He tried, in vain, to lessen the pressure she was exerting on his rib cage. She was stronger, she always had been and right now he needed her strength.

  She pressed down harder forcing him to expel every last drop of tainted air he had allowed himself to inhale. Her mind was working on instinct and her body, her strength, was along for the ride. There was no ‘off’ switch; tonight was all about taking control of her destiny; of their destiny. She would not stop until she got her way. She felt his grip loosen and then his grip on her slipped away. When his lungs were free of the last bit of the foul air he had been breathing his entire life only then did she ease the pressure she had been exerting on his chest.

  She felt for his heart; waiting until its rhythmic beat had faded almost completely. She hesitated; unsure if it was better to let him die tonight or continue on with her mad plan. She might not be able to stop the curse; she might not be able to feed him her blood but she could make sure a piece of her always remained trapped inside him. She was willing to give him what she herself had once experienced, the life of a wolf with the hope, the chance of coming back.

  His hands fell to the ground; pushed by the weight of the moon and pulled by the power of the earth. She lifted her head to the silvery orb she had come to revere in the last ten years; and whispered a prayer.

  “Give me the strength,” she begged sucking in a deep breath.

  She pinched his nose shut; pulling it slightly upwards as she pulled down on his chin opening his mouth. She had seen this done a dozen times…on TV; she was sure that it was just as simple in real life. She sealed her mouth around his and pushed the air she had been collecting in her lungs into Lucas’ vacant ones. She felt the rise then slight fall of the small muscles of his chest. She inhaled another breath of air, sealed her lips to his and exhaled again into his lungs. She pressed her hand against his chest again feeling for his pulse. On TV they always checked for a pulse between breathes she just couldn’t seem to find the right spot on his neck. The soft rhythm of his heart beneath her hands told her he was still alive but his chest still wasn’t moving on its own. She pressed her lips against his once last time and forced the air she had captured in her lungs into his.

  He coughed ejecting the air she had been force feeding him. She took the risk and pushed another puff of air into his lungs. Her hands moved from their awkward position and captured his face between her palms. The life she had been trying to breath into him changed from life giving to soul giving. She was a part of him now and she needed to make sure he knew it.

  His lifeless arms were no longer pinned to the ground but wrapping around her, anchoring her to him. His strength seemed to have doubled. She had always been stronger than him; although she never showed him the true power behind her strength. Till now she never realized why. He rolled over taking her with him; pinning him beneath her. His mouth, hungry for more inhaled more from her. His hands sunk into her scalp pinning her mouth against his stealing more than just the breath from her lungs.

  Her heart kicked up, pounding in her chest. It was then that she finally felt them fall into sync. She willingly exhaled her last breath into her lungs. She wrapped her legs around him drawing him closer to her. She wanted to crawl inside his skin.

  He released his hold on her mouth trailing sweet, hot kisses down the column of her neck. The tips of his fingers dug into the bare skin of her thigh. Her head tipped back and her eyes found the moon that hung heavy above them.

  “I love you Lucas,” she sighed. “I will come back for you,” she promised.

  They moved together.

  They breathed together.

  Their hearts
beat together; completely as one.

  He stared down at the tiny chunk of labradorite Daisy had brought back with her. He could feel the willingness that pulsed deep within its core. It wanted to help. It was begging to help. It was tiny in size; little more than a sliver of a rock; but its heart was wide and open. It recognized its call; it understood what it was being asked to do. It was just waiting on his magick to give it that final push. In a strange way the stone reminded him of Daisy and that made him hesitate.

  When faced with using his magick again he froze. He had seen the damage his wayward magick had caused. Daisy was holding the stone in the palm of her hand silently willing him to take it from her. He just couldn’t bring himself to cast again; no matter what the stakes.

  “I can’t do it,” he whispered down to the stone as Daisy placed on the table in front of him.

  The magick was there; tickling the tips of his fingers. It was begging to be useful again. It whispered temptingly in his ear. He wanted to listen; he wanted to believe. He just couldn’t bring himself to expel the energy; even to protect and save two of his best friends.

  “I can’t do it,” he confessed louder. He had become so lost in flashy seductiveness of the stone that he forgot there were other ears in the room.