by Jessica Marx
Ryan pulls his body back, making me lose my grip on him and breaking from our kiss. He takes both hands and runs them up the length of my torso and up my arms, which he once again puts up over my head. He gently lays his body on mine and nestles between my legs. He leaves one hand weaved with both of mine and uses the other to guide his length inside of me.
In one smooth motion, Ryan enters me, moving himself slowly around inside of me with a throaty sigh. Once he is settled, he begins to thrust himself in and out, slowly and deliberately at first. I moan as he gives me his full length and I readily take it, enveloping him inside of me.
The motion becomes faster, but Ryan continues to plunge himself deep inside of me. I groan each time I feel the head immerse itself in me, delighting in the feel of it rubbing against my inner walls as we make love. Ryan releases his grip on my hands and places his around the sides of my face as he kisses me again. His tongue mirrors the motions of his manhood, and I am now in a full state of arousal. He is stimulating every sense of my being, inside and out.
I forcibly grab his backside and squeeze him, pulling him deeper into me and feeling his muscles tighten and release every time he plunges. We kiss, hard, and Ryan continues to penetrate me, going deep inside me and then pulling almost all the way out so I have to buck up to him, silently begging for more. Ryan moves faster and at a steadier, rhythmic pace as he nears climax. I sigh and moan as I continue to come close to the edge myself. Ryan grips the hair around my face on either side as he thrusts into me harder and faster.
I cry out as my body tightens around him again.
“Oh, fuck. Oh, Eve,” Ryan grunts as he lets himself go, his juices flowing freely inside of me, blending with my own.
He continues to move, gradually slowing his pace without absolving his grip on my hair. As the movement comes to a stop, Ryan collapses on top of me. I have my arms draped over his back in exhaustion. My eyes are closed and there’s a smile on my face. When I finally open them, I see Ryan staring at me while propped up on his elbow. I close my eyes again, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“Well,” Ryan says, “that was… unexpected.”
I smile. “Yes, it was. Definitely not what I thought I was getting into when you asked for help packing,” I admit with a smile.
“I hope it was okay,” he answers.
I look into his eyes. “It was incredible.”
Ryan laughs, “I know what we did was incredible, but I hope it’s okay that we did it.”
He rolls over onto his side and faces me. I drape my arm across my body, suddenly aware that I’m naked and lying on Ryan’s bed.
“It’s okay. I can’t believe you waited until now to tell me you love me,” I say.
“I can’t believe I told you at all. I didn’t think you were into me—until that kiss,” he says. “Even after that, you still didn’t want to admit it, but I knew.”
“I’m glad you told me, but now what?”
“I don’t know.” Ryan grins. “You wanna do it again?”
I laugh. “No. I mean, yes—but no. What happens now? You’re leaving in two days,” I say, feeling saddened again.
“Come with me,” Ryan says.
I blink at him. “I can’t.”
“Sure you can, Eve. There’s nothing keeping you here.”
“Ryan, that’s ridiculous. It’s too soon. This is so new—it literally just happened!”
“It’s been happening for a long time, Eve. You don’t have to decide right now. Let’s just enjoy the moment and not ruin it,” Ryan says sensibly.
We lie back on the bed side by side, holding hands. Both of us are lost in thought, I’m sure. I know I am.
This guy is crazy. I can’t just drop everything and go to California because we had sex. I mean, I really don’t have anything to keep me here right now, but I also need to be rational. I need time to process what just happened, all of it. The sex was just a small part. Ryan, my stepbrother, just professed his love to me. He waited until right before moving across the country to tell me, putting me in a difficult position. Hiding feelings isn’t always the best idea, but it was working just fine for me. Now that everything is out in the open there are so many more questions.
“Should we finish packing?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“Nah. I don’t feel like packing anymore,” Ryan says. “Can we just curl up and watch a movie, or something?”
“Sure,” I reply with a smile. I reach over, propping a laptop up on the edge of the bed and flipping it over to Netflix.
I can’t help the awkward feeling of being naked in front of Ryan after covering up for so long, but I wrap myself in the sheet and smile to myself at the thought.
We settle in on the bed as if nothing had happened. Of course, usually we are on opposite sides of the couch when we do this, so we adjust to a new position here on the bed, together. I snuggle up against Ryan with my head on his chest. He rests his arm over me and pulls me close. Everything about this seems so right. I can’t believe we have such a short time left here together. The movie starts and we watch quietly and contently, my hand absentmindedly stroking the length of his powerful thigh. It’s not long before the movie is just background noise, my fingertips brushing softly higher and higher, until they are touching the length of his pulsing shaft.
“This is nice,” Ryan says softly.
“I know something even nicer,” I reply, giving his cock a soft stroke.
“Another of your secret talents?”
“You might say that,” I reply, shifting my position until I’ve engulfed him in my desperate and yearning mouth.
Chapter 43
I wake up fairly early and we are still nestled in the same position we fell asleep in, his body spooned up behind me. I don’t want to wake Ryan, so I lie still for a bit and then slowly roll over. I’m surprised to see his eyes open. He’s awake and just lying there, holding me close.
“Good morning,” he says with a smile.
“Morning,” I reply.
Ryan kisses me gently on the lips and smiles again.
“Would you like some breakfast?” he asks. “I don’t want to rush you, but I’ve been up for a while already. I still have to finish packing and go our parents’ house for lunch.”
“That might be awkward…” I reply.
“I’ve been hiding my feelings this long, I think I can manage one more day,” he replies.
I understand completely, but I’m still disappointed. After last night, I don’t want this to be a secret anymore. We don’t have much time left at all, and I selfishly want to have Ryan to myself.
“Cool. I’m not that hungry yet, but I’ll have a cup of coffee and join you,” I answer.
We walk into the kitchen and I put on a pot of coffee. Ryan takes out some cereal and milk. When the coffee is done, I sit at the table with him.
“So, what are you doing tonight when you get back?” I ask.
“I thought maybe we could all go out for dinner together. Nothing crazy—just some pizza and beer,” he replies.
“Sounds like fun,” I say dully.
“Really? Because you don’t seem too excited,” Ryan replies, sounding hurt.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I look forward to spending every minute with you until you leave. I just don’t want you to go. Especially so soon. I’m so, so, happy for you, but I’m a little sad, too,” I finish honestly.
“I get it, Eve. I feel the same way. Just come with me,” he says, presenting me with that tempting offer once again. “It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, just come.”
The emotion in his plea tell me that he is serious, and I believe that he wants me there—I just don’t know. There are so many things to consider. Ryan will have so much going on, especially in the beginning. He doesn’t need me tagging along. Maybe a couple of months down the road it would make more sense, but all of this is happening too fast to make a big decision like that now.
“I promise I will consider it. Let’s just give it so
me time—give you some time to adjust to your new life before I come barging into it,” I resolve.
“If that’s what you want to do, that’s fine. But I want you there. The only way this whole experience could be more amazing would be to have you there by my side,” Ryan says. “I love you, Eve.”
“I love you too,” I say hesitantly. I do love Ryan, but I have a much harder time expressing my feelings than he does—obviously.
We finish our coffee and Ryan gets up to put his bowl in the sink.
“I’m going to pack whatever I have left. It shouldn’t take long. Wanna come and keep me company?” he asks as he walks into his room.
I don’t answer, but follow him in anyway. The sheet on his bed is a mess, and our champagne glasses are perched on the nightstand from the night before. I smile as I’m reminded of last night, of Ryan’s body on top of mine, of us making love for the first time.
“You’ve been doing a lot of smiling since last night,” Ryan remarks with a smile of his own.
“It’s just been an amazing couple of days,” I reply.
Ryan starts putting his things in boxes and some in the suitcase. I just help organize and label things. He is finished in under an hour. He really doesn’t have that much. Everything fit neatly into the suitcases and two medium sized boxes. He puts it all in the corner of the room and looks around.
“Holy shit, Eve,” Ryan murmurs. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”
“Believe it. You’re going to be a star.”
“Maybe. You better be there to walk the red carpet with me, if I do,” he insists.
“Of course. I would love to be your arm candy,” I say with a wink.
Ryan walks over and stands in front of me. He places his hand on my chin and tilts my head up. He looks into my eyes, and I when I stare back, I can see that his are filled with happiness.
He places his lips on mine. They are warm and soft and I’m reminded again of last night. Ryan runs the tip of his tongue along my lips. I slip my tongue out of my own mouth to meet his, and we begin to kiss. There is even more passion between us than the night before. I rest my hands on his hips, our mouths pulsing together, sharing this fascinating new emotion.
Ryan is still holding my chin when he pulls away, stopping to kiss me softly on the lips several times before ending our romantic moment.
“I’m afraid we’ll have to continue this later,” he says. “I have to catch the train soon. I’m sure mom and dad are going to want me to stay for a while so the sooner I get there, the earlier I will be back. You sure you don’t want to come?”
“I’m sure. Besides, you need me to make sure everyone can get together tonight.”
“Tony is in, and I think Adam, but if you can rally up some of the girls, that would be great,” Ryan answers. “I’ll see you later. I have to leave if I want to make the next train.”
“See you later,” I reply.
With that, Ryan puts on his jacket and a hat and leaves. Hopefully, he’ll make it. Surely mom will want him to stay for a while, even if she was a little eager to see him fly the nest. He might have been her stepson, but she did care about him. He’ll be lucky if he can make it to dinner with us tonight. I wonder what he’ll say to her? I’ve been so caught up in my own feelings I haven’t spoken to her all week. I can’t tell her about me and Ryan, though. There’s no reason to, at this point.
Come to think of it, I don’t know if I should tell anyone about me and Ryan. Not that it matters, but I don’t feel like hearing a bunch of “I told you so’s.” I also don’t want to answer all the questions that will come along with it. This is so new. I wouldn’t know how to explain it to anyone else—especially the “what now” part.
It’d be easier if he was just my friend…
I send a text out to Tara and Keira about dinner tonight. I can’t call Tara. She’ll immediately know something is up. She can read me better than my own mother—although I think my mother may like to just play dumb sometimes. They are both available, so we’ll all meet and hope that Ryan will be able to get there in time for pizza. We plan it on the later side, so he should have time.
I wonder how we are supposed to act tonight. Ryan and I didn’t discuss it at all. Do we act as friends, like we always have? I know I would rather keep it secret, since he is leaving tomorrow and I don't want to deal with the added stress of people asking about us after that. Ryan is much more open and probably doesn’t care who knows. I guess we should have figured that out, but there really wasn’t any time to think about it. I’m not even sure what we are at this point. If he was staying, we would probably try dating, but he’s not… Then again, if he was staying, neither of us would have recognized our feelings in the first place.
I keep busy for the rest of the day. I clean up and straighten the apartment. I glance over at our little Christmas tree several times. There are no gifts under the tree and it will be lucky if it survives until Christmas, but I love it anyway. Ryan and I almost had a little life together here. We make such good friends, we know we can live together, and we also know now that we make very good lovers, too. Maybe I will go to California. Maybe I should take the chance. I really have nothing to lose. If things don’t work out, I can always come back. I don’t know though, that’s a lot of ‘maybes’ for me. I’ll keep thinking about it, and in a couple of months, if things are going well, I’ll know better what to do.
Late in the afternoon, I decide it’s time to leave and go meet everyone. I lazily take a shower and get dressed. It’s still so cold outside, so I put on my coat, hat, and gloves and head outside for the short walk to our favorite pizzeria. Tara and Keira are there waiting already, beers in hand.
“Hey, girls,” I greet them as I walk in.
“Hey, stranger,” Tara replies, giving me a hug.
“Yeah. What’s up, girl?” Keira says, hugging me next.
I laugh. “It’s winter. I’m not a fan of being outside. Call me when spring is here.” I order a beer and see Tony walk in. He sees us by the bar and comes over to join us.
“Hello, ladies,” Tony says trying to sound suave.
“Hey, Tony,” we each reply, giving him hugs as well.
“Three of you and one of me. This could make for an interesting evening,” he jokes.
“You wish,” Keira says with a laugh.
We clink our glasses and make conversation for a while, and then I spot Ryan walking in with Adam. My heart stops momentarily. I wish I could give him a signal—like, “hey, let’s not tell anyone what happened,”—but all I can do is make faces at him trying to convey my thoughts. I know it’s not going to work, but there’s a chance we’re on the same page.
Ryan and Adam walk over to the corner of the bar where we are gathered and say their hellos. Ryan kisses me on the cheek. It’s not our “normal” behavior, but not so over the top that anyone notices. Tara may have seen, but I’m sure she’ll wait until we’re alone to say anything. We let the hostess know we are all here and she takes us to our table. We all sit down and Ryan takes a seat next to me.
I feel the electricity between us and hope no one else notices. We are all laughing and talking like every other time we’ve been together. I feel completely different, though. Ryan and I have this secret, and I feel like it’s written all over my face, but it appears no one knows. I’m glad Ryan decided to play it cool instead of telling everyone. I would have felt completely awkward. They all think we have something going on to begin with—at least, that’s what it seemed like when we announced we were moving in together. So I’m sure telling them we slept together wouldn’t shock anyone. The “love” part might, though.
We enjoy our “last” dinner all together. There are lots of laughs and many toasts to our soon-to-be famous friend. Everything seems so surreal—last night seems almost like a dream. If it wasn’t for Ryan sneaking his hand on my thigh for a squeeze every so often, I may not think it was true. Then, with everyone toasting and talking about what Ryan’s new life wi
ll be like with all his new Hollywood friends, it brings me back to that whole reality. I try not to listen when they talk about all the starlets and models Ryan will be “boning,” but I know that it’s a strong possibility. Between all these mixed feelings—our hidden romance, and uncertain future—I might explode.
Our group leaves the restaurant together and walk in the direction of our apartments. Tony and Adam are going out for more drinks, and hopefully some hot hook ups. They try to convince Ryan to go, but he says he wants to stay home for his last night here. The boys say their final goodbyes, at least for now, and give big bear hugs to each other before parting ways. Tony and Adam walk toward the bar they’re going to and the rest of us continue on.
We walk a couple more blocks and reach our building. Ryan says goodbye to Tara and Keira, who both start tearing up when they hug him. They wish him luck and make me promise to call this week to hang out.
Ryan and I walk up the stairs to our building. He takes my hand in his as we near the doors, and when he opens them, I see Tara looking at us curiously. She will definitely be calling me tomorrow to ask what’s up.
Ryan keeps my hand in his as we ascend the stairs to the third floor. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us tonight, but I’m nervous and excited.
Ryan unlocks the door and pushes it open. We step inside and remove our coats and hats and shake off the cold. As I begin to remove the sweater I’m wearing over my top, Ryan struts over to me. He helps slip it up over my shoulders without a word and takes a step closer. With his hands on my shoulders, he bows his head down and kisses me. It’s not soft or gentle like the other times—it’s rugged and needy, and I like it.
