“I loved you back then, Jess, but after being hurt so much, I realize just how lucky I am to have someone I can not only love completely but also trust with every ounce of my being. Lies and deception have no place in a relationship, and once you’ve been in one that’s consumed by both, you appreciate the beauty of one that is consumed by truth and love.” He paused, then whispered, “She’s coming back around.”
Jessica didn’t understand why his voice echoed so much within the gazebo, but she understood that this was the moment when she was supposed to tell him the truth, and she didn’t want to mess that up again. She opened her eyes, and somehow she was no longer sitting by Chad. She was lying on her back, her head cradled in his arms, and he leaned over her, looking into her eyes.
“I’m here, Jess,” he said, lovingly, tenderly.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before,” she said, and he leaned closer.
“I’m going to help you,” he said. “You fainted, which is understandable, but you’re going to be okay now. I’m here, and there’s an entire waiting room of people here who care about you and who care about Nathan. Lots of people from the church are here. They’re all praying for him.”
Her mind jolted back to what had happened. They weren’t in the gazebo, and she wasn’t on that wooden, rose-covered swing. She was slumped in Chad’s arms on the cold emergency room floor, where her son had been taken and where he was probably still being tested to find out why he wouldn’t wake up. “Nathan,” she said, then cleared her throat, shook her foggy mind. “Nathan! Where is he?”
“They’re still doing the MRI,” Chad said. “And Ms. Farmer has promised to let us know just as soon as we can talk to the doctor.”
“When did you get here?” she asked, sitting up but knowing she wasn’t quite ready to stand yet. Her head was heavy and pounded relentlessly.
“After I received your message, I got here as soon as I could, and I just happened to walk in the room in time to see you heading for the floor.”
“You caught me,” she said, vaguely remembering the feeling of falling, but not recalling the crash.
“Yeah, I did.”
A plastic cup filled with water appeared in front of her face, and she looked up to see her father. “Here, honey.”
She took the water, drank a long, cold sip. “How’s Mom?”
“They gave her something to make her sleep for a little while. Hopefully, when she wakes up, she’ll be past the shock. And maybe we’ll have some good news to give her about Nathan by then.”
“I want to see him.”
“We told Maddie to let us know the minute we can be with him, and she promised she would,” her dad said. “We’re blessed that she was working today. She said she normally doesn’t work on Saturdays but was filling in.”
Jessica started to stand, and Chad wrapped a supportive arm around her as she did. They moved to a row of chairs nearby and sat, intensely watching the nurse’s station for any sign of Ms. Farmer or anyone else who looked like they might know something about Nathan’s condition.
“He needs me,” she said. “Even if…even if he isn’t awake, I’m sure he’ll know that I’m there. I want to be there with him when he wakes up.”
Her father exhaled thickly. “I know, honey, and I’m sure the doctor knows that, too. We just have to wait for them to finish what they’re doing, and then I’m sure they’ll let you see him.” He glanced at Chad. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. His mouth edged to the side, as though he were thinking whether to say something. Then he looked at Jess and didn’t say anything else.
Because Jessica was the one who needed to tell Chad why her father was glad he was here, why it was so important for him to be here now, for his son.
“I’m going to check on your mom. Let me know if they come back with any news on Nathan.” He walked away, then disappeared behind the curtain in front of room three.
“I know you’re worried about Nathan,” Chad said, “but the best thing we can do right now is to wait and see what the doctors say…and pray. I saw a small prayer room down the hall.”
“I don’t want to leave the emergency room until I hear about Nathan. We can pray here.”
“I know, but the room is here, in the E.R.,” he said, motioning toward a single door in the midst of the row of curtained entrances. “It will be a little quieter, and I’ll let Ms. Farmer know where we are.”
She nodded, listened to him tell Maddie Farmer where they would be then let him lead her to the door. Inside, like he’d predicted, it was quieter, without the beeping and buzzing of the machines in the E.R. units, the voices of nurses and doctors, and the sorrowful cries of the patients, their friends and families.
A single pew provided the only seating, and in front of the pew, a wooden cross centered the wall. On both sides of the cross, ornate stained glass gave the impression that the room had windows, even though they were completely enclosed within the E.R.
They sat on the pew and stared at the cross, and Jessica’s eyes started to burn. God gave His son to die on a cross, to save the world from sin, and suddenly, with her son just a few rooms away and unconscious, Jessica wondered…how? How had He done that, even for all of their sins? The thought of Nathan hurting sliced at her very soul.
The thought of losing him…
She couldn’t control the tormented cry that filled the room, and Chad instantly pulled her to his side and wrapped an arm around her. “Pray for him,” she begged. “Please, Chad, pray.”
“God,” he said, and Jessica bowed her head next to his. “Please be with Nathan. Help him to be strong and to overcome…whatever is wrong, dear Lord. Be with the doctors who are caring for him, lay your hands upon them and guide them as they work to heal Jessica’s little boy. He means the world to her, God, you know that. And be with her, too, Lord, so that she can be strong through the next few hours, days, however long it takes for Nathan to find his way back to her. And please, God, help him come back to her and to everyone who loves him so much. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Jessica raised her head, looked at the cross, then looked at Chad. “Thank you.”
“Jess, I haven’t prayed near as much as I should have over the past few years, but I still believe He listens when I do.”
“I believe He does, too.” She sniffed, wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. “I need to tell you something, Chad, about Nathan, about his father. I should have told you before now, I know I should have, but I couldn’t.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not true. I just didn’t, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She noticed his cheeks were wet. “I don’t know what to say to you,” he said softly, his words barely heard in spite of the silence in the room. He didn’t look at Jess but rather looked at the cross as he spoke. “I can only imagine what you’re feeling, and I hurt for you. I haven’t even gotten to meet Nathan yet, and still I hurt. I keep thinking about, well, if it were Lainey that we were waiting to hear about. And I do understand why you haven’t told me about Nathan’s father, how difficult that would be, but if we’re going to be together, then he will obviously be a part of it, because he’s a part of Nathan. And he should be here now. If you’re comfortable telling me who he is, I’ll call him, make sure he gets here to be with you through all of this.”
He wiped his hand down his face, calming his emotions while also rubbing away his tears. “But I promise you, Jess, once we’re together, Nathan will have a father around, always. I might not be his biological daddy, but that won’t matter. I promise. He’ll be mine, like Lainey is mine.”
This was it. God was giving her the opportunity to tell him, right here—right now. And he needed to know, now, because Nathan needed both of his parents here to see him through this—right here, right now. They’d prayed together and now they needed to be there, together, to help their son.
God, help me tell him.
Jessica looked toward the cross and her father’s words, the words from the chapter of love whispe
red through her thoughts. It keeps no record of wrongs…love perseveres.
“Chad, when I left six years ago, it wasn’t because of what we’d done. I mean, it was, but not the way I made it seem. And you need to know the truth.”
“Jess,” he said, taking his hand to her chin and tenderly turning her face toward his. “You don’t have to explain now. We can talk about it another time, and what matters is now, our future and Nathan.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s why I have to tell you. Do you remember the last time I saw you back then?”
He nodded, but he looked at her as though he didn’t understand why she’d bring this up now. In a moment, though, he would.
“I’d come to your house to see you, and you said you had some news, remember?”
Again, he nodded. “It was the night I got the scholarship to Georgia. I was so excited, and I told you all about it and how nothing would change between us.”
“And then I went home and called you, told you that I was leaving, that I couldn’t live with the fact that we’d given in to temptation that one time.”
His eyes looked pained from the memory, and she hated that, hated that she’d hurt him so terribly with that lie. And hated that she was about to hurt him again.
But it was time for him to know the truth…for Nathan.
“When I came to see you that night, I had some news, too, but after I heard yours, I didn’t tell you.”
“What news, Jess?” Again, confusion etched his beautiful features, and Jessica pressed on. She had to.
“I didn’t tell you because you were so excited about that scholarship, about your future and being a doctor and all, and I didn’t want you to throw all of that away. And I knew you would.”
He shook his head. “Jess, I’m not following you here. I think maybe you’re still dazed from fainting earlier. Maybe I should go get someone to check you out.” He started to stand, but she grabbed his arm.
“No, Chad, please. I have to do this. It’s important that I tell you now. I—I’ve waited way too long.”
“Okay,” he said, still clearly perplexed at the conversation. He settled back onto the pew next to Jessica and faced her. “Tell me. Why would I have thrown everything away?”
“Because of my news,” she whispered. “Because of the way you are, and the way you were brought up, and how much family means to you and how determined you were to always being there, to being—” she paused, swallowed and finally finished “—to being there for your child.”
He looked at her, processed her words and Jess knew the moment he realized why she’d come to his house that night so long ago.
“He’s yours, Chad. Nathan. He’s yours.”
His arm fell forward from the back of the pew. His mouth opened and his head moved, almost imperceptibly, from side to side in disbelief.
But he didn’t say a word.
Jessica felt his body, ever so subtly, shift away from hers. She knew that he was dealing with the reality, with the possibility, of the truth. “I’m so sorry, Chad. I should have told you then, but I really thought I was doing what was best for you. I didn’t want you to give up everything for me, and I knew you would.”
His jaw tightened now, and he looked at her, the gold in his eyes catching the light and dividing the seas of deep green with splinters of fire. “I would have. I would have given up the scholarship, the med school dream, everything to raise my child. Our child. And it would have been exactly what I wanted to do, because I never, ever wanted my child to grow up without me in his life. But that’s exactly what has been happening, isn’t it? My child, Nathan, hasn’t had a father. He hasn’t had me because you didn’t give me that chance.”
“I know, and I should have told you.”
“Yes, you should have.” He ran his hands through his hair, stood up and moved to the door.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m going to see my son.” He opened the door with Jessica close at his heels, and Jess saw Maddie point to her. The nurse beside Maddie hurried their way.
“Are you Nathan Bowman’s parents?” she asked.
“I’m his—” she started and then saw Chad’s eyes connect with hers and corrected the near error. “Yes, yes. We are.”
“Come with me. The doctor wants to see you.”
Chad and Jessica followed the woman down the back hallway, past the curtained rooms and past her father, standing by the closed curtain to her mother’s room.
“Jess? Chad?” he questioned.
“The doctor is going to talk to us about Nathan,” she quickly explained. “I’ll let you know what he says as soon as I can.”
Chad looked at her father as though wanting to say something or ask something, but then his mouth flattened and he continued following the nurse.
Jessica’s dad nodded at her, silently urging her to go on. And then he glanced at Chad, and she could tell that her father knew that she’d told Chad the truth. Pray for us, she mouthed, and he nodded again.
The back of the E.R. was much different than the front, more like regular hospital rooms, with pale blue walls and tall numbered doors marking each room.
“In here,” the nurse said, opening a door to a small room with a couch, two chairs and a table. Obviously a room for patient consultation.
Jessica’s stomach pitched. “What’s wrong with him?” she asked the nurse.
“Dr. Aldredge is on his way,” she said and gave Jess an apologetic smile. Was she sorry that she couldn’t give Jess more information, or was she sorry about the condition of her—of their—son? She looked to Chad for his reaction, but he’d already taken one of the chairs and was staring at the door, as though willing the doctor to appear.
Jessica sat on the sofa, her entire being longing to see Nathan, to hold him. “I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I’m scared, too,” he finally said as the doctor briskly entered and took the other chair.
He shook their hands. “I’m Dr. Aldredge,” he said and then sat in the other chair. “I know you’re both anxious to see Nathan, and I’ll let you, but I wanted to give you his current status. The good news is that the tests we’ve run so far show no physical or neurological damage. Nothing was apparent on our initial check or the CT scan, so we ran an MRI, which ruled out internal bleeding. And he’s breathing on his own without any problems.”
Chad leaned forward in his seat. “That’s good.”
Dr. Aldredge nodded. “Yes, it is. However, Nathan still hasn’t regained consciousness, so we’ve moved him to a twenty-four hour monitored intensive care unit in our children’s wing.”
Jessica tried to grasp what he was saying but didn’t know what to ask first. Thankfully, Chad did.
“Your diagnosis, then?” he asked, his voice appearing calm to anyone who didn’t know him, but to Jessica, she could sense the underlying concern.
Dr. Aldredge shifted toward Chad. “From what I can surmise from the accident, the area where Nathan was sitting in the car received the brunt of the impact when the automobile collided with a light post. That external force jolted Nathan and apparently caused some form of traumatic brain injury.”
Jessica gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, but Chad merely exhaled through his nose.
“The reason you say apparently is because he remains unconscious,” Chad said, and the doctor nodded.
“Like I said, we haven’t found any reason for Nathan not to wake up, and at this point, all we can do is watch him for the next twenty-four hours. After that, if we haven’t seen any change, we’ll potentially move him to Children’s Hospital in Birmingham. However, it’d be best if we didn’t have to move him, and for the time being, we’re doing exactly what they would do if he were there.” He tapped the clipboard in his lap and frowned. “I wish I could tell you more, but until his condition changes, there’s nothing to tell.”
“But we can see him,” Jessica said.
“Yes. In fact, I’m a firm believer that it
helps to have someone close by, talking to the patient, letting them know you’re there, when they are unconscious. No one has proven that those who are unconscious are aware of anything around them, but no one has proven they aren’t, either. There have been studies that lean both ways, but in my opinion, if it’s a possibility, then it’s worth a try.”
“I agree,” Chad said, rising from the chair. “So can we see him now?”
“Yes, of course.” Dr. Aldredge led the way out of the room and down the hall, with Chad and Jessica following.
Jessica looked at Chad, saw the anxiousness in his demeanor. The doctor had no idea what Chad had asked, to see his son…for the first time.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, softly enough that her words could only be heard by Chad.
“I am, too.”
The walls changed dramatically with a turn down another hall, with colorful scenes from the Bible painted along every space. They went through the Garden of Eden, saw Moses with the Ten Commandments, then Noah’s ark with an abundance of vivid animals. Dr. Aldredge moved to that door, put his hand on the handle.
“This area is for children only, and each child has a nurse assigned solely to them at all times.” He opened the door and stepped inside. “We’re monitoring him from down the hall, but Ginger is Nathan’s nurse and will be in regularly to check on him.”
They stepped inside, and Jessica saw her little boy, sleeping on the bed, with several monitors and wires around him and a nurse checking them and notating numbers from each machine on a clipboard in her hand. “Hello, I’m Ginger. I’ll be taking care of Nathan today.” She smiled pleasantly, then snapped her pen into place on the clipboard. “I’ll be at the nurse’s station, which is on the other side of the room, so I can be here immediately. Just push this button to reach me.” She indicated the red nurse button on the television remote.
Her Valentine Family Page 15
