Uneasy Money

by P. G. Wodehouse

  8

  It had been a great night for Nutty Boyd. If the vision of hissister Elizabeth, at home at the farm speculating sadly on thewhereabouts of her wandering boy, ever came before his mental eyehe certainly did not allow it to interfere with his appreciationof the festivities. At Frolics in the Air, whither they movedafter draining Reigelheimer's of what joys it had to offer, and atPeale's, where they went after wearying of Frolics in the Air, hewas in the highest spirits. It was only occasionally that therecollection came to vex him that this could not last, that--sincehis Uncle Ira had played him false--he must return anon to theplace whence he had come.

  Why, in a city of all-night restaurants, these parties ever breakup one cannot say, but a merciful Providence sees to it that theydo, and just as Lord Dawlish was contemplating an eternity of thecompany of Nutty and his two companions, the end came. MissLeonard said that she was tired. Her friend said that it was ashame to go home at dusk like this, but, if the party was going tobe broken up, she supposed there was nothing else for it. Bill wastoo sleepy to say anything.

  The Good Sport lived round the corner, and only required LordDawlish's escort for a couple of hundred yards. But Miss Leonard'shotel was in the neighbourhood of Washington Square, and it wasNutty's pleasing task to drive her thither. Engaged thus, hereceived a shock that electrified him.

  'That pal of yours,' said Miss Leonard, drowsily--she washalf-asleep--'what did you say his name was?'

  'Chalmers, he told me. I only met him to-night.'

  'Well, it isn't; it's something else. It'--Miss Leonardyawned--'it's Lord something.'

  'How do you mean, "Lord something"?'

  'He's a lord--at least, he was when I met him in London.'

  'Are you sure you met him in London?'

  'Of course I'm sure. He was at that supper Captain Delaney gave atOddy's. There can't be two men in England who dance like that!'

  The recollection of Bill's performance stimulated Miss Leonardinto a temporary wakefulness, and she giggled.

  'He danced just the same way that night in London. I wish I couldremember his name. I almost had it a dozen times tonight. It'ssomething with a window in it.'

  'A window?' Nutty's brain was a little fatigued and he felthimself unequal to grasping this. 'How do you mean, a window?'

  'No, not a window--a door! I knew it was something about a house.I know now, his name's Lord Dawlish.'

  Nutty's fatigue fell from him like a garment.

  'It can't be!'

  'It is.'

  Miss Leonard's eyes had closed and she spoke in a muffled voice.

  'Are you sure?'

  'Mm-mm.'

  'By gad!'

  Nutty was wide awake now and full of inquiries; but his companionunfortunately was asleep, and he could not put them to her. Agentleman cannot prod a lady--and his guest, at that--in the ribsin order to wake her up and ask her questions. Nutty sat back andgave himself up to feverish thought.

  He could think of no reason why Lord Dawlish should have come toAmerica calling himself William Chalmers, but that was no reasonwhy he should not have done so. And Daisy Leonard, who all alonghad remembered meeting him in London, had identified him.

  Nutty was convinced. Arriving finally at Miss Leonard's hotel, hewoke her up and saw her in at the door; then, telling the man todrive to the lodgings of his new friend, he urged his mind torapid thought. He had decided as a first step in the following upof this matter to invite Bill down to Elizabeth's farm, and thethought occurred to him that this had better be done to-night, forhe knew by experience that on the morning after these littlejaunts he was seldom in the mood to seek people out and invitethem to go anywhere.

  All the way to the flat he continued to think, and it waswonderful what possibilities there seemed to be in this littlescheme of courting the society of the man who had robbed him ofhis inheritance. He had worked on Bill's feelings so successfullyas to elicit a loan of a million dollars, and was just proceedingto marry him to Elizabeth, when the cab stopped with the suddensharpness peculiar to New York cabs, and he woke up, to findhimself at his destination.

  Bill was in bed when the bell rang, and received his late host inhis pyjamas, wondering, as he did so, whether this was the NewYork custom, to foregather again after a party had been broken up,and chat till breakfast. But Nutty, it seemed, had come with amotive, not from a desire for more conversation.

  'Sorry to disturb you, old man,' said Nutty. 'I looked in to tellyou that I was going down to the country to-morrow. I wonderedwhether you would care to come and spend a day or two with us.'

  Bill was delighted. This was better than he had hoped for.

  'Rather!' he said. 'Thanks awfully!'

  'There are plenty of trains in the afternoon,' said Nutty. 'Idon't suppose either of us will feel like getting up early. I'llcall for you here at half-past six, and we'll have an early dinnerand catch the seven-fifteen, shall we? We live very simply, youknow. You won't mind that?'

  'My dear chap!'

  'That's all right, then,' said Nutty, closing the door. 'Goodnight.'