by L A Pepper
* * *
The house was dark except for the flickering lights of the ocean documentary on tv, and I was sitting on the couch, waiting.
It was an arrangement. A fake engagement. And if she wasn’t going to call to tell me she’d taken an assignment, I wasn’t going to call her.
My anger at Rachel for manipulating my personal life had shifted into fury at Chloe herself. It was past ten when she finally called and for a minute I thought about letting it go to voicemail, but I wanted to hear what she had to say to me.
I answered the call, but didn’t speak.
“... Nick?” she said after a significant pause.
“Did you expect someone else to answer my cell phone?”
“No, I… no. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. You were in a meeting and I didn’t want to interrupt. Rachel said she would take care of it.”
“So you told her that the engagement was fake.”
“We should have told her to begin with, Nick. She had a right to know.”
“Did she have a right to know that we fucked?”
“Nick. Don’t talk to me like that.”
I took deep breaths trying to calm down. The ocean on the tv swayed with cephalopods and squid. “Are you going to pretend that the timing of this assignment wasn’t because of what happened last night?”
The phone went quiet for a bit. “It was. I think we pushed boundaries we shouldn’t have. Last night wasn’t fake. It puts the whole fake engagement arrangement in jeopardy.”
“We’re two consenting adults, Chloe. It’s just sex. Which is what you told me last night.”
I could hear her breathing. “Yes. I know.”
And we both just breathed. On the phone. With her far away from me. “And is there some reason why you didn’t call me until past ten at night?”
“Nothing sinister, Nick. I was driving. I don’t make calls while I’m driving. And when I got to town, I had to stop and get some groceries, since my parents are in Florida with my sister and her new baby. I had to stock up the fridge at the house.”
“You didn’t call me because you were getting groceries.”
“And having dinner. I ran into an old friend. It was a long trip.”
An old friend? Suddenly I knew. “So you had dinner with Leif. Your childhood sweetheart.”
“How did you know?” She sounded shocked.
“I’m very insightful.” And very suspicious. And very jealous. There was a pit in my stomach that opened up, and the conversation went nowhere after that. Nothing was solved. No agreements were reached. The words just ended, circling each other.
“Nick,” she finally sighed. “I think you and I both know that this little game of ours needs to end, and this assignment is the perfect timing to let it fade away. It was a bad joke that made some things awkward, and now that awkwardness is done.”
“Awkward?” I said. The word struck me like a blow to the chest.
“Wasn’t this the deal? If either of us wanted out, we could end it. No repercussions. No harm no foul. Right?”
I breathed into the phone, saying nothing.
“Right, Nick?”
“No harm. No foul,” I said, keeping my tone light. “That was the deal.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” she said, and she told me she was fine. Then the call ended. Just like that. Over.
* * *
I was in a bad mood. And it didn’t take much for me to snap. It didn’t help that everyone in the office was a complete and utter moron. Every single person.
On the fifth day after Chloe, I walked into the office and sneered at the receptionist. She was lovely, with big eyes and a smile for everyone, just the kind of girl you wanted to greet visitors. Instead of smiling at me, she scowled.
“Okay Mr Meryton,” she said, with that voice that said a woman was about to interfere in my private life. Oh goody. “That’s it. You need to make up with Chloe, because whenever you’re fighting, you are the biggest grump, and we’ve all decided that she makes you happy. So it’s time for you to make it up to her.”
I took a step back and turned to face the receptionist. “Jennifer, you have been reading the gossip pages too much. My relationship with Chloe Beckett is not a fairy story.”
She planted her fists on her hips and scowled again. “We know it’s not a fairy story. We also see what makes you happy and that you miss her. You’re taking it out on us. She’s good for you. And you love her. You need to work it out.”
“There’s nothing to work out. She’s on an assignment. It’s her job.”
“Then you need to go visit your fiance, because you miss her so much that you’re making everyone around you miserable.”
“Were you elected to bring this up to me on behalf of the whole staff?”
“I was, actually.”
“And you felt that secure in your status, that you didn’t think I’d fire you on the spot for not minding your own business.”
“You can’t fire me for nothing. Human Resources said so.”
“Oh. So they voted for you, too.”
She lifted her chin. “Yes. Go see Chloe, Mr Meryton. You’ll thank us later.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I grumbled and walked away, fuming.
She was wrong. I stormed through the cubicles, perfectly aware of the wary glances from every direction. They were all wrong. I wasn’t fuming because I missed Chloe. I was fuming because she’d left me. Because she’d betrayed me and broken our agreement all to go have dinner with hunky farmer ex-boyfriends in her apple blossom perfect world up in the mountains.
She’d left me.
And I had no illusions that it wasn’t because we’d slept together. I was not, in fact, naïve, or stupid. Clearly she’d felt threatened by the way we’d taken the next step in our relationship. Clearly. Things had gotten too real for her. She’d practically admitted it. She didn’t want to take part in our agreement anymore and instead of facing me like an honorable person she’d left me and run away, back to where it was safe and no one challenged her. Run away home.
She’d left me.
The thought left me breathing heavy. Steaming. We finally explored our attraction to each other, like adults. Like consenting adults, and she’d reacted like a spoiled brat!
That was why I was mad. She went back on her word. And then she left me, with the gossip rags and paparazzi who would spin a story that I couldn’t maintain a serious relationship. They would assume I had done something wrong, something a pretty playboy with no emotional depth would do. The speculations were running rampant.
Chloe never stopped testing me. She couldn’t help herself. She had to challenge me every step of the way and I wasn’t going to let this stand.
I turned back around and went back through the office, stopping at reception.
“Hold all my calls and tell Rachel that I went to take care of some business in the Adirondacks.”
Jennifer let out a huge sigh. “Oh thank goodness!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means go get your girl.”
“You’re awfully cheeky, did you know that?”
She nodded. “Now, please go get Chloe so we don’t have to deal with you anymore.”
It wasn’t until I was in the elevator heading down to my jeep that a thought occurred to me. What if sleeping with me had been the impetus for her leaving me after all, but not in the way I thought? What if it wasn’t that it was too real, too good? What if it was because sleeping with me made her understand I could never be the kind of man she wanted? Maybe she realized that we had wasn’t special enough, and what she really needed to do was go back to her real love, Leif and the mountains. She didn’t want to stay with me, the fake.
Chapter Fourteen: Home Town
A storm was coming.
It might be the first time in my entire life that I was looking forward to a big storm and getting snowed in to a cozy house up in the middle of nowhere
in the mountains. It meant that I would be unable to give into my yearning to jump back into my leased car (on the company dime) and run back home to Nick. Frig, I was so stupid.
I needed an act of God in the form of the first snowstorm of the season to keep me from succumbing to Nick’s wiles.
I knew he had wiles. I’d known all along, and I had chalked them up to celebrity and gossip, even though I’d met him. I knew him and I knew that he was irresistible to women. I thought I was smarter than that. I thought I knew what I was doing, and I was wrong.
“You look pretty mad at those potatoes.”
I jumped and turned to see the person who belonged to the voice at my shoulder. “Oh.” Tall and broad shouldered and bright blonde. “Leif.”
“Did they hurt you?”
I blinked at him. “What?”
“The potatoes. You look like you want to mash them or something.” He laughed at his joke.
I laughed with him, not really feeling it, but still happy to see him. I’d forgotten I was standing in Swift’s Groceries. “No, I just got caught up in my thoughts.”
He nodded sagely. “It’s because you left us behind here in the boonies to go off and be a big city girl, Chloe. You’ve clean forgotten how to stock up for a snow-in.”
“I have not!” I cried, offended.
“It’s okay, Chloe,” he winked, “I’ve got you. Come on, let me help you get what you need. I know your parents’ emergency supplies are stocked because I helped them get set before they went to visit your sister in Tampa. Lucky for them, they’re going to miss the first storm.”
“I like the first storm,” she said, feeling disgruntled.
He stepped back. “You do? You have changed. You always hated getting trapped in the house. But you won’t be trapped like that any more. I’ve got a snow plow now, and I always make sure to clear the main road down to town, and I take care of your parent’s drive, too.”
“You’ve always been such a thoughtful man, Leif. I’m glad you were here even though all of us left home.”
“Well, your parents were like my second parents growing up. That wasn’t just going to go away. Even if their kids always had somewhere to go.”
That made me a little sad. But my parents liked the isolation, the chance to work on their books and their bees and basket weaving. “I’m looking forward to getting snowed in for once. It’s nice to have nowhere to go. Nothing to do. Nice to get the busy world to stop for a minute so you can catch your breath.”
He stopped then and looked closer at her. “You okay, Chloe? I know you said you were writing something big for your paper--”
“Magazine.”
“Magazine. But is everything okay with your life in the city.”
I smiled and shook my head until I realized I shaking my head no. “Yes, yes. It’s great actually. I’m being given a lot more responsibility at work and my boss…” Nick’s amber eyes and wide smile flashed before my eyes for a minute. “My boss, Rachel says I work too hard and need to take a break, so she sent me up here.”
“But you’re working up here. How is that a break?”
I lowered my lashes and picked up a bag of potatoes. “It just is.”
“All right then, let’s get to your supplies. Still have a taste for maple candy?”
I scoffed. “Who doesn’t?” And like that, it was easy. We walked around the small grocery store piling my basket with whatever he thought I’d need, picking out candy and treats like we would have when we were kids.
I watched the grocery clerk, a sweet-faced red-headed girl watched us as we went around the store. I remembered her from when she was a girl. The grocer’s daughter. “Hi, Laura,” I said, “How have you been?”
“Hi, Chloe. It’s nice to have you back.” Her humongous blue eyes flickered back and forth between me and Leif. “You look so beautiful,” she said. “So glamorous. I could never be a city girl like you.”
“Oh,” I said, startled, and looked down at myself, jeans and boots and a black turtleneck underneath my winter coat. I hadn’t thought I’d done anything particularly glamorous. Although the most of my clothes had been bought on Nick’s shopping trip. I guess I didn’t look like a country girl. “Thanks. You’re sweet. I don’t know why you’d want to be like me, though.”
“Oh, come on, Chloe. You’re the small-town girl who made it in the big city with her fancy millionaire job.” Leif looked so proud of her.
“Yeah it’s not at all like that.” They didn’t know about the mess she’d made of everything.
“Still.” Laura sighed sadly, her giant eyes getting misty.
“Come on city girl, let’s finish your supply run. That storm’s coming in fast.”
“Don’t worry, Chloe, Leif will come dig you out. He’s everybody’s hero.”
Another customer came up to her counter to be checked out, and she smiled at them, sweet and friendly, but as Leif walked off to take care of my supplies, I watched her eyes follow him, full of longing for something she didn’t think she could ever have.
I knew that look. I’d felt it from the inside, It was how I looked at Nick. It made me snap and turn waspish and antagonistic. But Nick had liked that. He’d liked me the way I was. It broke my heart that I had fallen for his charm and attraction the way I had, even though for him despite it all, it was just a game.
“Come on, day dreamer,” Leif said as I stood there wool gathering again. He wrapped one arm around my waist to get me moving. Laura’s eyes went wide and filled with tears before she turned back to ringing up her customer. “Let’s get you done here before the snow starts coming in earnest.” He pointed at the front window and how the first fat lazy flakes were floating down.
Laura was right. Leif was a hero. He wasn’t my hero though. He needed someone as sweet and genuine as he was, someone who would appreciate his potatoes and snowplows, who wasn’t always looking for a way out or a bigger world to make a mark upon, but someone who liked this world, his world. Someone like Laura.
Only when we finally got my shopping done and Laura was ringing up my purchases, she kept her eyes down, those pretty light blue eyes, and answered my leading questions with polite inconsequentialities.
Leif didn’t even notice. He was too busy paying attention to me. And Laura noticed him paying attention to me.
Leif helped me load my car and closed the door with the last of the bags stowed. He stalled there, leaning against the car. “You sure you don’t want me to come out and get snowed in with you, Chloe? It’s been a long time since you’ve been here for winter. You maybe forgot how lonely it is.”
I stopped. Stepped up to him and kissed his cheek. I could not play games. I never could. “Leif, we’re not getting back together. I wouldn’t make you happy and you wouldn’t make me happy.”
His blond eyebrows drew together in distress. “That’s not what I meant, I just wanted--”
“It is what you meant. I’m home and you’re remembering something from the past that was wonderful at the time. That was us. It was our childhood. But we are not those kids anymore. I won’t ever stay here, Leif. And you won’t ever leave.”
“But, Chloe, you’re here now.” He wasn’t going to pretend either. He wanted me. Maybe he even imagined he was in love with me, but it was a fantasy of the past and wishes that wouldn’t ever be.
“I need a break. I’ll be going back to New York as soon as I get my head on straight again. I have a home, and even though this is where I come from, it’s not my home now. And you and I? We don’t belong together, not anymore.”
“I’ve never forgotten you,” he said, and his voice was gentle. With anyone else, it would be a shock coming from his big, rough frame. But Leif was the most gentle person I’d ever met, more at home with flowers and fruit than with adventures and jet setters and paparazzi and clever people who could make you laugh or make you cry with their words.
“I should hope not. We were very happy when we were kids. I’ll never forget you, either. But
you’ve got someone here who looks at you the way I look at--” I stopped. I wasn’t ready to admit out loud that I was here because my heart was broken.
“Ahh,” he said. And I saw understanding reach his blue eyes. “You’re in love. That’s why you ran away and came home.”
I shook my head about to deny it. “I didn’t run away.”
He raised a finger and wagged it to me. “Don’t lie to me Chloe. I know you. You felt trapped, and you ran.”
Ahh yes. I had forgotten. Leif was a small town guy who appreciated the simple things in life, but he had never been a simpleton.
“He’s my boss,” I said quietly.
“The one from the papers? The pretty boy big game prize?”
“Don’t call him that.”
“But you said it. I read all your articles, Chloe. We’re not that ignorant up here that we don’t get the internet and magazine subscriptions.”
“I was wrong. And unfair. He’s so much more than that.”
“So this is really serious.”
I shook my head. “Not for him.”
He frowned. “Well that’s no good. He should recognize what a catch you are.”
I shrugged. “We don’t always get what we want.”
“I guess we don’t.”
He walked me around to the driver’s side and I got in, but before I let him go, I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “You know who can also recognize a good catch?” He shook his head, a little sadness lingering. “That pretty Laura Swift.”
“Laura?”
I nodded. “She couldn’t stop staring at you.”
“At me?”
I smiled. “Oh yeah. And I think she thinks you could never be interested in her.”
“In Laura?”
I nodded.
“But I’ve known her since she was a little girl. I know her dad!”
“That’s how you know everyone. Did you notice that she’s not a little girl anymore, and she actually grew up to be a very pretty woman?”
His face flushed immediately red, proving that he had indeed noticed her.
“You should invite her to get snowed in with you, Leif.”
