by L A Pepper
He was no longer paying any attention to me, but instead staring over the roof of my car into the front window of Swift’s grocery store, where pretty Laura was being her helpful self and working to ready people for the first snow.
“Bye, Leif,” I said.
“Bye,” he answered. Distracted. And I drove to my parent’s house up the mountain, feeling like I’d done at least some good in the world.
Chapter Fifteen: Charming
The GPS died somewhere around Goose Creek, Chloe’s hometown. I should have known better, I’d travelled enough to know that mountains had terrible service and up in the country, nothing was as easy as back in civilized lands. However, I’d been spoiled lately by my search of luxury and had, perhaps, forgotten that was not all there was to life.
So with the snow getting heavy, I pulled into the town and found the only place still open, a quaint little store called Swifts. The whole town was charming, especially in the snow, with the blanket of white over everything. I felt the lure of the simple life. The quiet town. The stunning mountains, the silence of the snow falling. The bell over the door chimed when I walked in.
A pretty red head was flirting with a big guy over the counter and they looked up at me, guilty. “Do you have any hot coffee?”
The girl looked surprised. “Yes, sir,” she said, “In the back.”
“Thanks,” I said, and they both stared at me as I poured myself a cup. It smelled okay, although it was probably sitting on the heat too long. I supposed beggars couldn’t be choosers, and I still didn’t know how long it would take me to get to Chloe’s.
I grabbed some snacks from the rack and waited for the girl to ring me up.
The man leaned on the counter and peered at me. “Uh, how much farther are you planning to go?”
I rolled my shoulders, they were stiff from driving in the snow. “I don’t see as that’s any of your business.” Small-town people were friendlier than city folk but I wasn’t really in the mood. I just wanted to find Chloe’s house and ring her neck. Or kiss her. I still wasn’t sure, it was the thing I had been debating the whole way up here.
The big blond man made a face. “Fair enough, but when they call me to come dig your dead body out of a snow drift, it might be.”
“Pardon?” I turned to him.
“Everything’s closing down. The roads are closed. You’d best take a room at the inn tonight, because you’re not going anywhere.”
“My jeep is fine in the snow and I know how to drive.” I sent a dark glare in his direction. He held up his hands in surrender. I sighed. “Can you just give me directions? My GPS isn’t cooperating.”
“Sure thing, it’ll help me know where to look for the body.”
“Funny.” I showed him the address.
“Ah.”
“Ah what?”
“You’re Chloe’s guy.”
I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised that a town of 600 people would know one of their own, and that they might have heard of our engagement, but I was. I took a closer look at him. Tall, blond, handsome, beefy. About the right age. I knew it was Leif.
“And you’re her guy, too, I suppose.”
He smiled. A big wide-open smile. He ducked his head and shot a look at the red head. Wait why was he flirting with the red head when he had Chloe? I folded my arms across my chest and glared.
“You should know that if anyone hurts her, they have to answer to me.”
The stories Chloe had told me about this guy had painted him as perfect and kind and good, and he sure looked the part. Taller and more muscled than I, with that perfect outdoorsy brawniness. I didn’t like him at all. He could be a model in my magazine. But if he was playing games with Chloe and this red head, I’d have something to say about it too. “You should know that if anyone hurts her, he will answer to me, too. And it will be a pain that lasts a lot longer than what you think you can dish out.”
“All right,” he said and smiled at me so I wanted to make him answer to me right now. “So you think you’re going to drive up there?”
“I don’t think I am. I know I am.” Stupid handsome perfect smile man.
He shook his head as if I was a fool, and I definitely was. I had to see Chloe. Leaving things the way we had was killing me. I got the directions, barely anything to say to him,feeling sick in the pit of my stomach and left.
Twenty minutes later in the middle of nowhere, in an intensifying storm, the snow defeated my jeep.
I was stuck, at an angle, tipped into a ditch..
“Dammit!” I swore. My first thought was not concern about being stuck in a blinding snowstorm for who knew how long, or that I had narrowly missed a far worse accident because I was driving too fast in bad weather, but that that big gorgeous farmer had been right, and he was going to have to shovel my frozen body out of a snow drift and he and Chloe would laugh about it as they lived their beautiful, pure lives without the stain of my jackassery on it.
I was fully aware that I was being ridiculous, but I had a right to be. I cursed some more and spun my wheels. Because that was how stupid I was. And then I sat in the car, as the snow got thicker and the sky got darker. This was only going to get worse. It was either sit in the car slowly freezing or get out and hike, in unknown terrain, for miles, in the middle of a blinding snowstorm.
And all because Chloe chose to run away from me instead of face me. I would kill her when I finally got to her. If I didn’t die first.
I took a deep breath and reached back around to get my gear out of the back seat, because there was no way I was letting that hunk of burning beefcake come dig me out of my car like some helpless maiden.
Someone knocked on the window.
Oh no. It was the beefcake. No one else knew I was up here.
I sighed, because as much as I was jealous that Leif had won Chloe and I had lost her, I needed to be rescued from my own idiotic decision to drive headlong into a snowstorm.
I lowered the window getting ready to eat crow.
“You idiot.”
“Chloe!”
There she was at my window. Her eyes as bright as the Mediterranean sea in summer, her cheeks red as roses, a beanie pulled down over her head.
“My hero,” I said, and meant it. And more. I wanted to kiss her.
Chapter Sixteen: Adventure
I was cooking up a big pot of beef stew on the stove, because there was nothing like something warm and comforting when a snowstorm was raging outside. I had a loaf of fresh bread in the oven and had already made two dozen chocolate chip cookies. It wasn’t fancy like any of Nick’s gourmet meals, but it brought me back to who I was a little, and whether I was now a city girl or not, I still knew how to cook up a bunch of comfort food. And I needed comfort right now. When the landline rang. I jumped. I don’t think I’d heard an old-fashioned ring like that in ages. But this was the mountains, and you wanted the landline for when the service went out for whatever reason. Like storms.
“Hello?”
“Just thought you’d like to know your boyfriend is heading your way, and if he doesn’t get there in 20 minutes, you should probably go rescue him from a snowbank.”
“Who is this?”
“Oh, sorry.” But before he said it I knew. “Leif. I ran into your pretty boy in town and he refused to use sense and stay in the inn. He had to drive up through a snowstorm to see you.”
“My who?”
“Your boss. The rich guy?”
The breath left my body. “Nick is here?”
“Well, no, that’s what I’m saying. He’s going to get stuck in the snow. I told him not to. He’ll probably freeze to death out there. Chloe. Please don’t make me dig up a frozen dead guy. You’re going to have to go get him.”
“Nick is here.”
“Chloe, you’re supposed to be the smart one. You gonna rescue your dumb boyfriend or not?”
“I’m going to kill my dumb boyfriend,” I said and hung up, leaving myself to shout at no one, “H
e’s not my boyfriend! It’s a fake relationship! And I’m going to kill him.”
I wasn’t sure why I was crying, or why my heart was beating so fast or why I was so scared, even as I pulled on my thermals and dug out the pack and the boots and the cross-country skis, knowing what it was going to be like. I took the bread out of the oven, turned the stove way down to a bare simmer, wiped my tears and headed out into the storm.
It had been a while since I’d done any cross country skiing, but it came back to me pretty easily. Luckily it was just the soft and gentle kind of snow, falling thick and lush from the sky, not a blizzard with blowing wind that took your breath away. It was almost pleasant, except for the whole dread of seeing him again and having my heart broken. Why had he come? I followed the road for about ten minutes before spotting his damn jeep, run into a ditch. The anger came back, although I controlled myself by the time I got up to him, knocking on the window.
His window was already covered with snow so he didn’t even see me until he rolled it down. “You idiot,” I growled at him, relief warring with anger and this strange fluttering.
His face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. “Chloe! My hero,” he said.
And there was the heartbreak. I was not going to start crying in a snowstorm. Screw him. I stepped back and took off my backpack, taking out the extra skis and boots for him. I knew he was my dad’s size or near enough. He put on his warm weather gear and opened the door. “Put these on. You know how to cross country, right, Mr World Traveler?”
He caught my tone, the anger, and cocked his head. I hoped he didn’t catch the heartbreak. “Chloe, we need to talk. For real.”
“Yeah well it’s cold, and the snow is only getting deeper, so I’d like to get to shelter. Let’s go.”
He did, of course, know how to ski, and he followed me. For some reason in the quiet of the snow fall not talking just felt so good. It’s not like he didn’t want to talk, but I shushed him each time until he subsided, waited. And just skied beside me until we reached the house. I’d left it lit up like a beacon, just in case I missed him and he was wandering in the storm alone and freezing.
I led him inside. It smelled like warm bread and rich food and a tiny bit like vanilla. He breathed it in and looked around like it was a dream.
I felt self conscious. My parents had built most of it themselves, hippies living off of the land, filling their house with kids and poetry and herbs and peace, adding rooms on when they needed them, creating greenhouses to keep some fresh vegetables for the long winter. I always felt good coming back here, but it was my parents’ dream and had never been mine.
“Chloe, this is wonderful. It’s like a haven in the wilderness.”
I ducked my head and mumbled my thanks and shook the snow off my coat. We put away our gear and stepped into the living room. I looked up at him, in my parents house, his hair ruffled by the exertions, his cheeks tinged with pink from the cold. I could see the amazement in his eyes, this was an adventure to him, even though it was a retreat for me. My heart flipped over. Having him here, with me, having coming after me like this? Maybe he did want me. Maybe not in the way I wanted him, but maybe it was something. And I’d missed him
“Do you have anything I can change into? I’m soaked, and I left all my bags back in the jeep.”
“Yeah,” I said, thinking vaguely about some of my brother’s clothes that he’d left here. But instead of clarifying, I just looked at him. Then I stepped up to him, and pulled his damp sweater over his head and kissed him, because I needed his lips against mine.
“Chloe—” he started, before I silenced him with my mouth, my hands pulling at his clothes. It took him only a moment before he started helping, before we were kissing in between struggling with boots and jeans and t-shirts, and I finally got to taste him again, that spot between neck and shoulder that I love. “Sweetheart, we should talk…” he said, his hands clutching me to him.
“No, Nick. We shouldn’t. For once we should stop talking and just… be.”
He let his breath out in a great sigh and let me lead him into my bedroom. I could see him wanting to ask me about it, wanting to find out more to understand, to let his charming words lead his way, but I put a finger to his lips and pushed him back on my bed. “No talk.” I stripped out of my bra and underwear and removed his while I was at it, I climbed on top of him, our skin still chilled from the cold. “No talk, okay? Just this.”
He slid his palms up my thighs as I straddled him, they traveled up my sides to cup my breasts and thumb at my nipples, his eyes dark with lust. “Yeah, okay. No talk.” I reached down to take him in my hand and he groaned. He squeezed me with his hands, and sucked hard at my nipples, urging me on. I wanted him so much. I never stopped wanting him, and he’d come to me. Maybe I didn’t care why, maybe I just wanted him now, in this moment because I loved him, no matter what came of that and if this was all I could have then this was it.
I slid down onto him and he cursed under his breath. “Shit, Chloe, I want to make it good for you.”
“Later,” I said, and I began to rock into him. No more words. Only our bodies, only my love.
He reached up and pulled me down, so he could kiss me while I rode him, so he could breathe into me, so he could murmur my name, again and again and again.
I avoided words completely, because I was afraid that if I let my tongue loose, I would tell him how much I was in loved him. So all I gave him was moans, and inarticulate longing, as he said my name in my ear until the entire world had faded away.
Chapter Seventeen: Together
The next morning, I wanted to do nothing but sleep with Chloe in my arms, the warmth of her body pressed up against mine made me certain I never wanted to be anywhere else but with her. There was nowhere I needed to go, nothing I needed to do that was more important than kissing the nape of her neck, and caressing the curves of her soft belly, the dips of her waist, the smooth arc of her hip.
“Nick,” she said, sleepily and turned over so that she could press her velvety lips to mine.
“Come home. Come back with me,” I whispered. I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. I wanted her back. “We can figure it out, I promise.”
She nuzzled into my chest and hummed, sliding both arms around me to hold on, and my soul brightened. I pulled her closer. I knew she would come with me. I knew she wanted to be with me. Last night wouldn’t have been like it was if she didn’t.
“I—” she started.
She was interrupted by a tremendous pounding on the door.
We both jumped.
“Chloe! Chloe!” More pounding.
“Shit,” she said. “Leif.” And then she rolled out of my arms, shoved her legs into a pair of sweatpants, and pulled a sweater over her head. She left me there, naked in bed, getting cold without her, and went to Leif.
The pit in my stomach opened up, and I fell into it. There was nothing but fury roaring, burning cold. She left me. And went to him. I threw the blankets off and grabbed the pile of clothes she’d gotten for me. Her brother’s, smelling slightly of mildew. They didn’t quite fit, but what did it matter? I went out to face it.
But I couldn’t. They were talking. “It’s not like that, Leif,” she was saying. “That’s not how we are.”
And inside of me, I was asking, “Oh really, then what is it like Chloe?” remembering the way she clutched at me and sighed against my skin, happy, content, complete. The way our bodies spoke to one another as if we didn’t even need words. The way she felt in my arm, precious, wanted. Home.
“We have an arrangement,” she said to him and my rage rose.
“I bet you do. I guess that arrangement is what had him driving up here in a snowstorm risking his life. For an arrangement.”
“It’s for a work thing,” she said, quietly, but I could hear. How close was she to him? How intimate was this little confrontation? Why was she telling him we were just a work thing?
I stepped into the living room to
see that big hunk of beefcake standing entirely too close to Chloe.
He saw me first, of course. “Good to know you’re not a meat popsicle,” he said with a dangerous, toothy smile. “I wasn’t sure when I got to your car and it was empty. Shoulda known Chloe could handle you. She always can.”
I nodded at him, barely an acknowledgement. She turned to me and swallowed so heavily I could see her neck work. Probably couldn’t handle sleeping with me last night and facing her boyfriend this morning.
I ground my teeth together. How could she do it? “I know.”
“Mmhm. Yeah. Well, I have to get on my rounds now and finish the plowing. Just checking in on the city folk,” he said and eyed me.
“Leif,” Chloe said warningly. I wanted to see her scold him the way she scolded me all the time, but she didn’t. She kissed him on the cheek.
She kissed him on the cheek. I could feel my heart breaking. She turned to look at me and caught me staring and blinked in surprise.
“Nick…”
I turned away while they said goodbye and waved half-heartedly. I laid logs in the fireplace and lit the fire while Chloe spoke with him in low tones that I couldn’t hear. I was furious. Full of rage. No. Hurt. Hurt that she could turn from me, from what we meant to each other, and turn to him.
I was jealous.
No. It was just an arrangement. I liked her. Of course. She drove me crazy I was wild about her and wanted to touch her all the time, but if she wanted Leif, then who was I to interfere? Just an arrangement. No harm, no foul.
I stabbed the log and a shower of sparks went up.
He wasn’t good enough for her. He wasn’t. He’d been making eyes at the pretty redhead and Chloe should be the only one he paid attention to. The only one who mattered. She was the only one who mattered to me. If Chloe wanted him, I wanted her to be happy, I would let her go, because her happiness was more important than mine, no matter how I wanted her to come home with me, but he wouldn’t make her happy. He couldn’t love her the way I loved her.
