Our Kind of Love

by Victoria Purman

  Julia had a sheen of sweat on her forehead and looked as white as a sheet.

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Ry, stop staring at me and get me to bloody hospital.’

  Ry accelerated on to the road, cranked up the Foo Fighters some more and drove like hell.

  CHAPTER

  47

  ‘Her name is Mary Elizabeth Blackburn-Jones.’

  Anna stood at the side of Julia’s hospital bed and peered into the newborn’s tiny face. She was perfect, so soft and new, healthy as she could be. When her tiny eyes fluttered open and then closed in sleepy bliss, Julia sighed.

  ‘She’s a miracle.’ It was all Anna could say. She felt so emotional seeing them both together, her lovely friend cuddling this tiny life, that if she tried to say anything more, she would burst into loud and messy sobs. All she could do was ever so softly stroke the baby’s head, so downy and smooth, the softest thing she’d ever touched.

  ‘And what about her mum? How’re you feeling?’ Anna examined Julia’s face. She was pale with tired eyes and bed hair and resembled every other woman who’d just gone through labour; exhausted and exhilarated.

  ‘I’m in shock. And a little sore.’

  ‘When they offer you an ice pack, say yes. And medication. And what about your husband? How did Ry cope?’

  Julia beamed. ‘You know it’s true love when your husband mops up the bathroom floor when your waters break and doesn’t even flinch. Well, at least not when I was looking, anyway.’ Julia’s look was far away and dreamy. ‘He was slightly panicked, like every expectant father in history, I guess. But his degree of difficulty was so much higher, seeing he had to drive all the way from Middle Point.’

  ‘You made it to the delivery ward just in time, I hear.’

  ‘Two minutes to spare. Ry flew up the ramp to the emergency entrance and almost crashed into an ambulance. I don’t remember much else. Except seeing her for the first time.’

  The curtain around the bed swished aside and Ry arrived carrying two takeaway cups. He was beaming from ear to ear.

  ‘Here’s your peppermint tea, Anna. And one coffee for the new dad.’

  ‘Thanks Ry.’ She sipped it slowly, hoping it would calm her. Julia’s call had woken her up just before 2 a.m., and she’d thrown on some clothes and raced across Adelaide in her car through the almost empty streets, to reach Flinders Medical Centre forty minutes later. The adrenaline rush had sent her into wide wakefulness and she was having trouble coming down from it.

  She’d sat in the waiting area until the baby was born. A quick glance at her watch revealed it was now 6 a.m. A new life on a new day. Anna knew in her head that this miracle happened every second somewhere in the world but this baby, Mary Elizabeth, felt special.

  ‘So what do you think of my little girl?’ Ry had perched himself gently on the side of the bed, staring into the face of his daughter. Anna could feel the tears welling up again and tried to blink them away.

  ‘I think Mary Elizabeth is going to grow up to be the second female Prime Minister of Australia,’ Anna said, wiping away a tear that had trickled down her cheek.

  Ry and Julia exchanged a loving look.

  ‘Oh, I hope we get another before then,’ Julia smiled.

  ‘Forget Prime Minister. I’m aiming higher. Head of the United Nations,’ Ry grinned.

  ‘No pressure, of course,’ Julia said as she cuddled her baby tighter.

  ‘I’m sure she’ll be whatever she turns her mind to, and she’ll have the biggest cheer squad in the world behind her, encouraging her every step of the way. Not just you two, but Dan and Lizzie and Harri and Joe.’

  ‘Don’t forget my mother,’ Ry said. ‘I just called her. She’s probably being snapped by every red light camera between here and home.’

  ‘And who could blame her?’ Anna laughed.

  ‘Would you like to hold her?’ It took Anna a moment to realise Julia was talking to her. The two women shared a knowing look and Anna nodded. She lifted Mary from Julia’s arms and lowered herself into the plastic chair by the side of the bed, settling into a comfortable position. Mary’s tiny perfect head nestled into Anna’s arms. Ry and Julia’s whispered conversation became background noise along with the other sounds of the day coming to life; telephones ringing, footsteps, trolleys passing on the linoleum floor, laughter and voices. Anna took in every part of Mary’s little face. Her pinkish eyelids. Her full cheeks. Such full little lips and tiny, tiny eyelashes. Ry and Julia were so lucky.

  Loud footsteps thumped towards the room and they all turned.

  ‘Jools?’ Lizzie appeared by the curtain with wide, wet eyes.

  ‘Lizzie?’ Anna said.

  Dan was behind her, smiling like a loon, and there was Joe, too.

  He gave Anna a small nod hello.

  ‘Oh look,’ Lizzie crouched down next to Anna. ‘Oh my God.’ She reached up and traced a gentle finger on the baby’s nose. ‘Are you okay, Jools?’

  ‘I’m perfect and so is she.’

  ‘She is. She’s … oh wow!’ Lizzie wiped her eyes.

  ‘Don’t you want to know what her name is?’ Julia asked.

  ‘It’s a girl?’ Dan peered over Lizzie’s shoulder.

  ‘She’s Mary.’

  Lizzie stood and took the few steps in the small space to Julia’s side. ‘Your mother’s name. Oh, Jools.’ Lizzie carefully hugged her best friend and when she drew back, Julia held her hand and met her teary gaze.

  ‘She’s Mary Elizabeth.’

  Lizzie gasped and burst into loud tears. Dan drew her into his arms and she sobbed into his shirt.

  ‘Lizzie,’ Anna said, ‘Come and sit here and have a cuddle.’ Lizzie swiped the tears from her cheeks and swapped places with Anna, who carefully transferred the baby into Lizzie’s arms. Then she stood back and Joe was next to her.

  ‘You’re pretty good at that.’ He looked down into her eyes. Anna’s heart lurched at the subtext to that simple compliment. She so wanted to be good at it. She’d sacrificed almost everything for just the smallest chance of having it.

  ‘I’ve had lots of practice. I see babies all the time. Cuddling them is one of the perks of my job. So, you came up with Dan and Lizzie?’

  ‘I didn’t want to miss out on all the action and besides, this might be a story for the Gazette.’

  Anna smiled. ‘I’d expect nothing less than a front page splash for brilliant news like this.’

  ‘I may be able to pull some strings.’ Joe craned his neck to get another look at Mary Elizabeth. ‘Wow, she’s beautiful, isn’t she?’

  ‘Of course she is. Look at her parents.’

  Anna took in the scene. Julia was resting on a mound of pillows, a pale blue cotton blanket pulled to her waist. Ry sat by her side, an arm about her, close, protective. Baby Mary was in the arms of her godmother Lizzie, and godfather Dan was leaning down, staring into the eyes of the little girl who would be so loved by all of them. Her Nonna’s words came back to her, a reminder of the fact that people could make their own families.

  ‘Hey, Uncle Joe, want a cuddle?’

  Joe stilled. When he realised everyone was looking at him, he got jumpy. No, he didn’t want to hold the baby. No way. As he opened his mouth to say it, he couldn’t seem to get the words out.

  ‘C’mon, you won’t break her, you know.’

  He rubbed a hand through his hair as Lizzie stood and walked over to him, holding the baby out like a precious pass-the-parcel he should take. Damn Mosquito. He looked around the room, shifted his weight, felt trapped knowing he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to insult the kid, or her parents, by refusing. That would be rude and, with all the love and baby hormones floating around in the room, Ry might punch him if he refused. He held out his hands and Lizzie carefully transferred the tiny weight into his arms. He lay her head in the crook of his elbow, bringing his other arm around her little body and holding her close to his chest. There was silence in the room. Joe wondered if everyone could hear his heartbeat, whi
ch was now raging so loud he feared the palpitations might wake the kid.

  He could feel every set of eyes watching him but he kept his own firmly locked on the little face, sleeping peacefully in his arms. That’s when he realised he’d never held a baby before. Not once. Not even when friends had had babies of their own. He’d managed to avoid this contact his whole life. And why was that? Something shifted inside him.

  He’d never wanted to get that close in case it cracked open a memory that he’d buried inside him since he was three years old. And that memory had driven the fear that had ruled his life ever since. The fear that he would be no good at this. Was he his father’s son, despite working with every fibre of his being not to be?

  ‘How you going there?’ Lizzie was next to him, one hand on his shoulder, looking at Mary. His little sister. He could guess by the way she was looking at the baby that she was seeing one, at least one, in her future, and pretty soon.

  ‘She’s not crying. That’s a good sign, I suppose.’

  ‘I think she likes you already.’

  ‘Congratulations you two.’ Joe looked over at Ry and Julia. ‘You make a nice baby.’

  ‘You make a nice family,’ Lizzie added.

  The new parents looked around the room, at all the loving faces surrounding them. They were a family. And Joe realised that Anna was right. He had a place here forever if he wanted it. He’d always had it.

  ‘Damn, I wish we had some champagne to wet the baby’s head,’ Dan announced. ‘But it’s a little too early in the day for that.’

  Ry glanced at Julia. ‘We’re planning to have a little party at the pub to do just that. Next weekend. Can you all come?’ Ry searched each face for an answer.

  ‘Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away,’ Lizzie announced.

  ‘As long as we can crack open the cellar,’ Dan added.

  ‘Sure,’ Joe nodded and then turned to Anna.

  ‘Of course,’ she said. And he watched as she found the St Christopher’s medal hanging around her neck and twisted into a knot.

  CHAPTER

  48

  Joe had lugged his surfboard down to the beach in the crisp light of an early December Saturday morning but he wasn’t in the water. He’d dumped his board at his feet and, while his eyes were on the distant swell, he wasn’t really seeing it. He stood, still as a sentinel, his arms crossed, his bare feet planted in the soft sand. Out there in the ocean, the waves looked impressive and the white caps closer to shore confirmed they were maybe five footers. But he couldn’t seem to rustle up the energy to run into the water this morning.

  When he’d woken at dawn, he’d figured a surf might clear his head. But it wouldn’t be enough today. There were a million emotions crammed between his ears that a mouthful of salty water wouldn’t clear. He needed to think, to really think. And then he needed to make some decisions and this seemed like the perfect spot to make them. There were no other voices in his head, just the wind blowing off the Southern Ocean and the view to the horizon.

  Right out there, about fifty feet into the water, was the spot where he’d taught Anna to surf. Or rather, where she’d taught him a lesson about never giving up. He didn’t need to close his eyes to see her again, trying damn hard to stand up on her surfboard, her arms flapping at her sides, pulling her lips together in absolute determination to get it right. And when she’d fallen off and copped a nose full of water, she’d got right back on and tried again. Over and over again.

  Almost right here on the sand was the spot Anna had kissed him that day.

  And up there, on the Point, was the Middle Point pub where he’d met her and they’d danced together.

  And just a little bit west and up the rise behind the point was his house. Where they’d made love that first time.

  She was everywhere around him but nowhere. Every new memory Joe had of this place had her in it. Middle Point felt like home again because of her. She’d filled it with new memories to replace his old and grainy ones. And they were great memories too; of sex and surfing and laughing and dancing. His bucket list was pretty short these days. A decent job. Making a difference in his community. Good wine. Surfing every day. What more did he want out of life?

  He also wouldn’t mind the love of a good woman.

  Nah, scratch that. He wanted the love of an incredible woman.

  And he knew he’d already found her.

  The problem was, could he want what she wanted? Children and a family? The happy-ever-after had slipped through their fingers once already. Was it worth the risk of trying again? Maybe he was open for persuasion on that one. Wasn’t that what blokes did, simply agree with the women in their lives when that subject came up? He’d never met a man who was desperate for kids but he’d met plenty of them who would do anything it took to hold on to the woman they loved. Kids were like a bonus gift with purchase.

  Could he see himself as a father?

  Holding little Mary in his arms a few days before had triggered a question that he’d asked himself a million times throughout his life. Since the day he’d been old enough to know that he had a father, someone who’d chosen to walk away from his own family. What kind of man could do that? What sort of bloke could take one look at his newborn baby girl and just disappear? There was something broken in a man who could do that to his wife and his family.

  Was he like his father?

  Staring up at the blue sky, Joe finally knew the answer.

  He wasn’t a broken man. He may have been heading in that direction when he came back to Middle Point a year before, but he wasn’t that man anymore. He was surer of that than anything. He felt like a man reborn. Maybe he would never know the answers about why his own father had done what he’d done. Maybe the old man was damaged in ways that he’d never even understand himself and the only thing he’d known how to do was to run and leave behind the people he was supposed to have loved.

  When he was a kid, Joe had always thought it was his fault that his dad had never come back. As a grown man, he knew it made no sense to blame a three-year-old boy. What had happened in his parents’ marriage was their business. He and Lizzie were collateral damage.

  Maybe, just maybe, he’d inherited the best of both of them, not the worst. And maybe, just maybe, he could take a little credit for the person he’d become. So part of his DNA was from his father. But the rest wasn’t. He was the sum of everything he’d created for himself. His decisions had been his alone and he’d always made them with a gut instinct he couldn’t fault along with a goal in mind.

  He’d been that driven once before, when he’d left Middle Point as a pup and headed off to Sydney. Now he had a new plan for his life and a new understanding of who he was.

  Hold the front page, he thought with a smile.

  Julia and Ry arrived at the pub with Mary and gasped when they saw what Lizzie and Dan and the staff had done. The Market area at the back of the century old building was adorned with a mix of Christmas decorations and purple and green helium balloons and streamers and a welcome sign reading ‘Welcome to the world, Mary’ was strung up between shade sails. Everyone who knew and loved them was there.

  Ry’s mother Barbra was the first in for a cuddle. She reached down into the pram and picked up her beloved granddaughter.

  ‘Thank God you’ve arrived. I was having withdrawal symptoms being away from this little darling.’

  ‘She was hungry so I fed her before we left,’ Julia said. ‘It’s made us a little late.’

  ‘We have a new boss now and we do whatever she says,’ Ry added with a peek at his daughter.

  ‘This looks incredible,’ Julia said as Lizzie joined them.

  ‘We went non-gender specific with the colours because, to tell the truth, we bought everything but the banner a month ago just in case.’

  ‘I love it,’ Julia said and linked her arm through Lizzie’s. ‘And now we need to talk.’

  Lizzie was taken aback. ‘We do?’

  ‘Yes,’ Julia whispered, as s
he withdrew a discreet distance from Ry and Barbra. ‘About Stinkface and the Doc.’

  ‘She’s supposed to be coming, Jools,’ Lizzie said with a glance around the crowd. ‘I’ve already done a sweep and she’s not here yet.’

  ‘Joe’s wielding the tongs behind the barbecue. Update me on the state of play.’

  ‘Well,’ Lizzie said. ‘I have no intelligence to report. He won’t tell me if he’s seen her or even talked to her.’

  ‘Mmm,’ Julia pondered the situation. ‘And I haven’t seen Anna since the hospital last week.’

  They exchanged glances. ‘Should we let nature take its course?’ Lizzie asked.

  ‘You kidding? Of course not. Ry and I did it for you and Dan. You and Dan did it for Ry and me. This doesn’t stop until everyone gets their happy ever after. Got it?’

  ‘Got it.’

  ‘Oh no.’ Dan sidled up beside Lizzie and slipped an arm around her waist. ‘What are the evil twins of Middle Point up to now?’

  ‘I was consulting Julia about a crisis, as a matter of fact.’

  He shook his head. ‘This doesn’t involve your brother, does it?’

  ‘Oh Dan,’ Julia slapped him on the back with a shake of her head. ‘Thought you’d be used to it by now. It’s what we do, make people happy. Right Lizzie?’

  Lizzie looked up at Dan and kissed him square on the mouth. ‘You betcha.’

  He smiled back at her. ‘And you’re damn good at it, too.’

  Joe had managed to wrangle a slippery snag from the barbecue and was about to wrestle it onto a piece of white bread when Anna walked in to The Market. She looked like she’d arrived on a gust of wind. Her dark hair was loose and tousled around her shoulders and she was wearing some kind of free-flowing summer dress that floated around her. Those movie-star sunglasses she loved were perched on her head and her regulation enormous handbag was over her shoulder.

  He found himself frozen in mid-flight, his tongs in mid-air. When she looked over to him and smiled, he dropped the sausage and it bounced off the barbie and onto the ground. Before he could move, a small black dog had gobbled it up.