How to Rebuild (Hearts & Horsepower #4)

by A. K. Evans

  Sure enough, after a long pause, she rasped, “You could stop showing up.”

  “What?”

  Elise shrugged her shoulders. “It’s possible,” she insisted.

  My brows pulled together. “Why would I do something stupid like that?” I pressed her for more information.

  A look of surprise came over her before she answered, “It happens.”

  I returned the surprised look and questioned, “Without a good reason?”

  Elise nodded.

  “Not with me, it doesn’t,” I promised.

  Instead of offering more information, Elise seemed lost in thought. It was as though she remembered something because I saw the anger and hurt fill her eyes.

  As gently as I could, I asked, “Did someone stop showing up for you?”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded slowly.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I offered.

  I watched her throat move as she swallowed before she replied, “His name was Elliot. We were together for three years before it ended.”

  “What happened?”

  “Everything was good in the beginning,” she started. “All the things you would expect at the beginning of a relationship. The excitement, the fun, the attraction. It was all great. We were both putting in the effort. But then he stopped.”

  Elise paused a moment, shook her head, and continued, “Things got tough for him at work, and I tried to be understanding. I mean, I feel like I understand the pressures of work as well as anybody. But even when things started to settle for him at work, he never found his way back to me. I loved him, so I tried. Really hard. But I could only be a boss in my professional life and my personal life for so long. I needed him to take the reins again. He never did.”

  What a fool.

  How?

  Why?

  As angry as I was to think she’d put herself out there for another guy like that and he didn’t give her what she needed, I was thankful as fuck he was stupid. Because now I had the chance to show her a man that had no problem taking the lead, so she didn’t have to do it all the time.

  Gathering a lock of her hair between my fingers, it slipped through my grasp as I lamented, “I’m sorry you went through that, Elise.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “It was hard. Because there wasn’t one thing that I could pinpoint for why it happened. I still have no real idea why he walked away. And considering I held on for a good eight months at the end of it, hoping for a change, I went through a lot emotionally. Every time I thought he was giving me something, I was wrong. He only ever gave me little bits and pieces. And I had been in so deep that I sort of lost myself in all of it and accepted something that I’d never accept in my professional life. For some reason, I couldn’t get myself to put a stop to it. In the end, he walked away. I was devastated.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, how long ago did it end?” I asked, wondering if there were still feelings lingering there for this asshole.

  She let out a sarcastic laugh and said, “It was just over two years ago.”

  I kept my eyes on her, still unsure where her heart and mind were in all of it. Elise must have realized I was struggling with something. A moment later, she added, “I don’t have feelings for him anymore, Kieran. It’s just that what he did still affects me because we were together a long time, and I thought everything was great. It felt like it came out of nowhere, and it hurt when it ended. Since I have no answers, I’ve struggled with trusting that it won’t happen again.”

  This I could handle.

  This was something I could work with.

  While pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger, my voice dipped, and I promised, “Lady, I’ll never just walk away from you. If things got to that point, you’d know why I was leaving.”

  She dipped her chin in understanding.

  Seeing that she was still struggling, I added, “But I’ll say that I have no intention of walking away from you.”

  Hearing that put a smile on her face, and relief swept through me. I didn’t want anything, especially not her ex, putting a damper on our day. Luckily, Elise proved she wasn’t interested in that either because she said, “I really hope we’re still together when the holidays roll around again.”

  Smiling against her lips, I whispered, “Me too.”

  Then I captured her mouth, and we forgot all about our game on the coffee table.

  I glanced at the clock.

  It was just after ten in the morning, and I was prepared to admit that I was having one of my best days at work in a long time. Truthfully, it had been getting progressively better with each day that went by.

  Just over a week had passed since Kieran and I went out on our first official date, and I spent my entire weekend snowed in with him. The snow wasn’t typically my thing, but I had to admit that I appreciated that we had it that weekend.

  It seemed like every day since then was just better than the one before, with today being the best yet. I couldn’t exactly say there was one specific reason that I was feeling such a sudden improvement in my life because there was no doubt that it was a combination of many things that were contributing to it.

  The obvious thing was Kieran.

  There was so much to say about him, yet it just didn’t feel like I could ever do him justice.

  Our snowed-in weekend was magical. For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t work. Not only that, I was surprised to make it to Monday morning and realize I hadn’t even thought about work all weekend.

  That was the thing about Kieran. Being with him was becoming so much more than just spending time with one another. I enjoyed learning more about him and his family, but it was how he made me feel when I was around him that was making my heart so happy.

  He made me forget everything. All the things that troubled me melted away when Kieran was around. Even the very things that worried me about being in a relationship at all. More often than not, I forgot to be cautious when I was around him.

  Kieran teased me, he made me laugh, and it just felt good to be with him. I often found myself feeling a bit of longing and sadness when I wasn’t with him.

  And that scared me.

  Because I was beginning to realize that somewhere along the line, what I felt for Kieran ran so much deeper than that initial physical attraction to him, I liked the man he was. I loved the way he took care of me. I loved the way he made me feel.

  It terrified me to think I felt this much this quickly. In the moments when I wasn’t with him, my mind would start to drift. I’d begin thinking about how there were people I knew substantially longer than I’d known Kieran, and as it turned out, I didn’t know them that well at all.

  People like Skye and Elliot.

  Despite having those thoughts creep in, I couldn’t help myself. I liked him too much to give him up.

  So, whenever my mind drifted to those dark places, I pushed those thoughts away and focused on the positive.

  Aside from Kieran, the improvement in my mood also stemmed from the improvement in the work situation. Flynn Beauty was no longer at the forefront of a major scandal. Though there were still some individuals who kept pressing the issue on social media, determined to express their outrage over what had happened, it had mostly died down.

  I couldn’t have been more grateful for that.

  And luckily, Kieran hadn’t landed in any more posts or news articles. While I couldn’t say for sure, I had a feeling the media believed it was just a fling between us that night since they had no idea who he was. It didn’t matter to me what they thought they knew was happening in my personal life.

  The only reason I knew that the outrage over what happened with Flynn Beauty had died down along with the interest they’d had in Kieran was not because I’d gone searching for that information. Lately, I’d found myself doing what I could to steer clear of social media. I knew it would bring me down, and that was the last thing I wanted or needed.

  So, I left it u
p to the two people I knew who’d share anything pertinent with me.

  Porter and Kat.

  If there had been anything new, especially about Kieran, they would have said something. Of course, I also knew that it was unlikely there’d be anything since I’d been smart about it. Other than the night Kieran and I went out on our first date to Sierra Grillhouse, the two of us had kept ourselves out of the public eye. While it was partly intentional on my side of it, I had a feeling it didn’t necessarily bother Kieran. He enjoyed staying in with me just as much as I enjoyed staying in with him.

  And I would go so far as to say that I did more than enjoy it.

  I craved it.

  I loved it.

  I couldn’t get enough of it.

  It had been just over a week since our snowed-in weekend, and I experienced a lot of that desire to be around him. Kieran and I hadn’t seen each other every day. He’d come to my house once in that time, and I spent this past weekend at his place. It was a nice change of pace to go to his home, and I enjoyed it. Though we didn’t get to see one another every day, we did talk every day. And since I was willing to take whatever I could get from him, I gobbled up that time, too.

  So, between everything I was feeling about my relationship with Kieran and the upward tick in my Flynn Beauty staff’s moods, I had nothing upsetting me. And I had something to look forward to tonight.

  Kieran had planned to see me tonight. I had a feeling he was planning to do something special because he’d asked me if I wanted to be at my house or his for the night and whether I wanted to stay in or go out for dinner. I figured he’d just wait until we were there in the moment to make that decision, or he’d just decide on his own.

  But for some reason, he wanted my input.

  On the work front, my goal today was to try to make up my mind on what I wanted to do about the spring collection. Time was winding down, and I needed to make a final decision before the end of the week. I was cutting it way too close. Both Porter and Kat had pressed me about it on separate occasions.

  I’d decided I needed to make a couple of lists—each type of launch’s pros and cons.

  Just as I was about to dive into it, there was a knock at my door. Kat was standing there with a massive grin on her face and something special in her hands. I waved her in.

  She opened the door and marched over to my desk.

  “What are those?” I asked.

  “Flowers for you,” she declared. “You know, I have wanted to ask you about that guy. What’s his name again?”

  “Kieran?” I replied.

  “Yeah, Kieran,” she confirmed. “You haven’t brought him up since the day we all saw the article, and there hasn’t been anything online about the two of you together again, but I wanted to ask you if you were still seeing him. I guess I don’t need to ask now.”

  “Why?” I wondered.

  Kat looked at me in disbelief. “Because he sent you these flowers,” she announced.

  Kieran sent me flowers?

  “How do you know they’re from him?” I asked.

  Kat shrugged. “Lucky guess,” she replied. “Juliette called back to me to let me know there was a flower delivery for you. I just knew they had to be from him as soon as I saw them. There’s a card there for you to confirm, though.”

  Still in disbelief, I pulled the sealed envelope from the bouquet and glided my finger along the seam to open it up. I slid the card out, read it, and felt the tears well up in my eyes.

  Elise,

  I hope these flowers put a smile on your face the same way you have put a smile on mine. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  -Kieran

  Valentine’s Day. It was the most romantic holiday of the year, and I’d completely forgotten. How was it possible that I was dating Kieran—the most charming man I’d ever known—and I didn’t remember what day it was? Had he kept me that distracted?

  “I was right, wasn’t I?” Kat asked, interrupting my thoughts.

  My eyes slid to hers, and I gave her a gentle nod. “Yeah, they’re from him,” I confirmed.

  “They are gorgeous,” she declared. “And I’m so happy for you. You deserve this.”

  “Thanks, Kat.”

  “What are those?”

  Kat spun around as my eyes shifted to the door behind her. Porter was standing there with his eyes pinned on the bouquet.

  “Flowers,” I replied, noting the obvious.

  “Okay, let me rephrase that,” he said. “Who are they for, and where did they come from?”

  “They are for me,” I confessed. “And they came from Kieran.”

  “Kieran?” he repeated. “You mean, the guy you were with in those photos from that article a little over a week ago?”

  Nodding, I verified, “Yes, that Kieran.”

  Shaking his head in confusion, Porter stepped forward. “I don’t understand,” he started. “I thought you said he was just a friend, and nothing was going on between the two of you.”

  I nervously bit my lip. “Things changed,” I admitted.

  “Things changed?”

  “Yes.”

  “How serious is it?” he wondered.

  I wasn’t sure I knew how to answer that. It felt serious. Flowers from Kieran indicated he didn’t think it was just some fling. I wholeheartedly believed he felt it was serious.

  But there was that small part of me that could feel everything I did about what I knew was between us and still struggle to admit out loud the truth about what he was beginning to mean to me.

  Feeling conflicted about sharing any of it with my brother before I even dared to share the truth about my feelings with Kieran, I took the easy way out.

  “It’s new,” I told him.

  Porter’s eyes darted back and forth between my face and the flowers for several seconds. Eventually, he demanded, “I want to meet him.”

  That was unexpected. “What? Really?” I asked.

  He dipped his chin. “Yes, Elise,” he replied, a touch of irritation in his tone. “I’m not going to see you go through the same thing you went through with Elliot. I should have gotten involved sooner then, and I didn’t. I’m not making that same mistake again.”

  My head dropped to the side as my heart squeezed. “You’re not to blame,” I told him.

  “What he did to you…” Porter trailed off. I watched as he took a deep breath to calm himself. “I should have done something sooner.”

  “Kieran isn’t Elliot,” I assured him.

  “Then he’ll have no problem meeting me,” my brother pointed out.

  I sighed. “Okay, I’ll talk to him and set something up,” I acquiesced. Then, and because I wanted some time alone, I said, “I need to make a phone call before I get back to work. I’ve got a decision to make on this spring collection in the next few days.”

  “Avoidance,” Porter muttered, shaking his head with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Fine. I’ll get back to work, but I expect you to set something up soon.”

  Nodding, I confirmed, “I will.”

  Porter turned to walk out, and I watched as Kat’s eyes followed him. They were narrowed on him in a way that I found strange. And the moment I was going to ask her about it, the phone rang across the hall.

  She glanced at me, her features once again relaxed, and said, “I’ve got to grab that. Congratulations on the new relationship, Elise. It’s so exciting!”

  Kat dashed across the hall and closed her door behind her as she moved toward the desk to answer her phone.

  My eyes dropped to the flowers, and I smiled. They were incredibly fragrant and beautiful. Beyond that, I loved what they signified. Kieran felt something for me, enough that he didn’t forget a special holiday.

  For that reason, I picked up my phone and called him.

  Two rings later, Kieran answered, “Hey.”

  “Hi,” I replied. “I’m such a terrible girlfriend.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I forgot.”

&nbs
p; “Forgot what?” he wondered. I could hear the genuine concern in his voice.

  How did I get so lucky?

  “My assistant, Kat, just set a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my desk, and I was confused as to why I was getting flowers,” I started. “Imagine my surprise when I read the card and realized it was Valentine’s Day.”

  There was a moment of silence before Kieran asked, “You didn’t remember?”

  “I’m the worst girlfriend ever,” I confessed.

  He chuckled, which surprised me. “Why does this make you the worst girlfriend ever?” he questioned me.

  “I did nothing special for you,” I shared. “Things have been so crazy, and my mind has been so muddled with all kinds of thoughts that it slipped my mind. Please don’t hate me.”

  “Gorgeous, I do not hate you,” he assured me. “And you already gave me what I wanted anyway.”

  “I did?” I asked. I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Yes.”

  My brows pulled together, but because he couldn’t see the confusion on my face, I pressed, “When?”

  His voice dipped low, and he replied, “When you told me how you wanted to spend the night tonight. There’s honestly no gift you could have gotten me that would be better than just knowing I’m going to be seeing you, talking with you, having dinner with you, holding you, and making love to you tonight. That’s all I need.”

  Making love.

  He said making love.

  He didn’t say having sex.

  He didn’t say fucking.

  He said making love.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  My eyes welled with tears, and my voice was scratchy when I rasped, “Kieran.”

  “Lady, you better not be crying right now,” he ordered.

  I took in a deep breath to try and settle myself. Then I insisted, “I’m not. That was sweet of you to say.”

  “It’s the truth,” he maintained.

  I needed to do something. I needed to figure out how I was going to do something special for Kieran tonight. I didn’t know how I would do it with the laundry list of things I needed to accomplish today at work, but there was no way I was allowing him to make me feel the way he did without making sure he got at least some of that back.