A Hustler's Son

by T. Styles

  “Well don’t you have to be sitting across from me to do that?”

  “You know your mother is gonna be mad as hell right? What the fuck happened to you youngin? You got jumped or something?”

  “Naw, I don’t get jumped and I don’t have time to talk to you about it anyway.”

  “Why not, lil nigga? What you got to do that’s so important?”

  “Why the fuck you worried about it?” I asked.

  He was asking a million questions and all I wanted to do was call my girl. I needed him out of my space and I could tell he wanted to be in my business.

  “Because your mother is my woman and when she’s not here, you’re my responsibility Kels.”

  Only my friends called me Kels and I knew he knew that.

  That ain’t do nothing but piss me off even more.

  “Yeah well my moms being your woman is some unfortunate ass shit that ain’t got nothing to do with me.”

  “Watch it youngin.”

  “Don’t you got some coke to sell?”

  “You know what, lil nigga,” he said as he stood up.

  See this is what fuck I’m talking about.

  I was ready for this shit.

  Get mad nigga.

  I jumped up and got right in his face. When you’ve been inducted into manhood, you can look an imposter in his face and know the difference. If he ain’t a man, he’ll fear you and he feared me.

  His eyes looked for something in me that wasn’t there. He was looking for a fifteen-year-old boy that I ditched a long time ago.

  I hated him and needed an excuse to do something about it. I had plans to fuck him up and tell my moms he started it. In my mind, she’d understand.

  Bottom line was this, I had a lot of shit still on my chest and I hadn’t fully gotten it off yet. His face was the perfect canvas I needed to express my creativity. I was so close to him now, that if he would have breathed on me, I would have knocked his ass out.

  “Fuck you, K!” he spat as he walked out the door to get the rest of his shit.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” I grabbed the phone, walked to my bedroom and closed the door.

  CHAPTER THREE

  SEPTEMBER 16TH

  FRIDAY, 9:30 PM

  JANET

  I am so happy to be home I don’t know what to do. There was no way in hell I could have made it to my second job. Although I knew in the back of my mind I was excited about Delonte being back, I was also exhausted. When I got out of the cab I walked toward my apartment building and saw Delonte’s truck. There’s something about seeing those D.C. tags against that white truck that did something to me. The moment I saw it I thought, “Daddy’s home.”

  Before entering the building I noticed someone watching me walk in. He was wearing a black jacket with a hood and had a large scar on his face. I grabbed the knife in my pocket and again, flashbacks of my past entered my mind. Please don’t let me die like this, on the steps of the place that had been my safe haven for years. The only thing that calmed me down was him saying, “Good Evening, Ms. Stayley. Can you tell Kelsi that I said hello?”

  See they would not have known me by that name. I nodded my head yes and walked into my building but the knife remained clutched in my hand, just in case.

  I went to the mailbox and pulled out the mail. I hated how the Penny saver magazine always surrounded the real mail. I quickly thumbed through everything and still didn’t see a child support check from Lorenzo. I can’t stand his ass. He don’t ever pay on time.

  I walked to the door and fumbled around for the key. It was then I remembered that I’d have to get Delonte a new set made. The moment I opened my door, I felt something was up. Kelsi wasn’t in the living room waiting on me like he usually was and Delonte was sitting on the couch tight faced. He promised he’d have dinner waiting for me when I got home but when I looked at the kitchen table; all I saw was a box of cold Domino’s pizza.

  “Hey baby, we gotta talk,” he said the moment I walked through the door.

  “Delonte, please don’t start with me. I’m extremely tired and I want to come home to a peaceful night with both of the men I love,” I said exasperated as I threw the mail on the table and kicked off my shoes.

  “Well that’s what I want to talk to you about. The other man you love.”

  Just then, Kelsi walked out of the room with his head bandaged up. I ran over to him, dropped my purse on the floor and my knees buckled because I was terrified by the thoughts that clouded my mind.

  “Baby what happened?” I asked reaching toward his head.

  “Nothing Ma. It’s not as bad as it looks,” Kelsi said, pulling away so I wouldn’t touch his wound.

  I immediately looked at Delonte. If he laid his hands on my baby, I’d kill him and he’d be out of that fucking door forever. No changing locks, no playing games and no questions asked!

  “I ain’t touch him. I was the one who took him to P.G. Hospital to get stitches. He had to get fifteen over his right eye.” He knew what I was thinking and came quick with an explanation. I knew in my heart that he wasn’t stupid enough to touch my child, but I still had to ask.

  “Fifteen stitches? Are you serious!” I asked. “Baby, what happened?”

  K-man was standing in front of me like I was making a big deal for nothing.

  “K-man, did you hear me? What the fuck happened?”

  “It was nothing, Ma. I was playing football at school and one of them niggas tackled me against the concrete.”

  “Let me get this straight,” Delonte said. “Your face fell up against the concrete? The last time I checked, there wasn’t no concrete on a football field man.”

  “That’s cuz you play with pussies!”

  “Hey! Watch your mouth, K-man! You’re still a child. What has gotten into you?” I asked as I grabbed his arm. “Don’t get smacked! You hear me?”

  Kelsi was seriously scaring me more and more each day. His defiance was borderline disrespectful and I hated the idea of losing my sweet boy. We always had a close relationship and with these men coming in and out of my life, Kelsi was all I had. We joked all the time about it being just him and me against the world and now, here he was cussing in front of me like I was some whore.

  “I’m sorry Ma,” he said as he placed both hands on my face. “I had a rough day and I didn’t mean to disrespect you. Please forgive me. It will never happen again.”

  I looked at Kelsi and I remembered when he was born. My baby was so handsome. As he grew, his words and demeanor changed him into a man. That realization was something I wasn’t ready to accept, but I knew, in due time, I would have to. Still, something else was going on with him and it was killing me not to know. I needed to know and needed to know now! I decided to speak to him alone.

  I picked my purse up off the floor and turned around to face Delonte.

  “I’m gonna talk to Kelsi for a minute. I’ll be back in a few.”

  “Yeah well, don’t forget you have a man to tend to,” he said as he thumbed through the channels with the remote control.

  “Like you’ll let her forget,” Kelsi retorted defiantly.

  “Come on baby, please stop doing this,” I responded as I walked with Kelsi to his room.

  He sat on his bed and put his face in his hands. With my housekeeping uniform still on from the Sheraton, I walked around and examined his room. Although we lived together, I never violated his space. I always knocked on his door before entering. I gave him the privacy I never got from my mother when she was alive. If she wanted something, she’d walk right in my room and I didn’t want to do the same thing to Kelsi. So entering his space was always like the first time to me.

  His room was one of the cleanest places in the house. Boxes were lined up against the wall with his shoes and his hats were stacked neatly on the shelf in the closet. He was a neat freak and rearranged stuff a lot, so every time I did come in his room, there was always something new I’d notice.

  Like now I was looking at
the pictures he had on his dresser. He had one of that little light-skinned girl, Lakeisha, stuck in his mirror and every other picture was spread across his dresser except the three pictures he had framed of me. The last time I came into here, he only had one framed. It felt good to know that my baby still loved me, even though he was growing up.

  “Kelsi, what’s going on?” I asked as I sat next to him and put my hands in my lap.

  “I can’t stand Delonte, Ma. I don’t like how he treats you. I think you can do better,” he said as he looked at me.

  “Okay, you want to start there?”

  “Yes, Ma. Why do you keep dealing with that dude even after you found out he was messing with his cousin?”

  “Don’t talk about stuff you don’t know about Kelsi.”

  “Ma, Kenosha came over here right after you put him out, hollering about she wanted to talk to you about what you thought you saw. She starts telling me she wasn’t really kissing him in the car. I knew right then what was up.”

  “How come you ain’t tell me that girl came by my house?

  “Come on, Ma I know you ain’t tryna talk to that girl. She a chickenhead. Anyway, you’re beautiful and too good for that nigga! I have to beat my friends down now for looking at you the wrong way. They swear you my sister instead of my mother.”

  “For real?” I said smiling hard.

  “Ma!”

  Damn, I can’t even play with him in certain ways no more. Everything about him was the same but different. He was still my son and he was still my responsibility but he was now a man. I felt the love he had for me, as strong as I felt the hate he had for Delonte.

  “I’m just playing, baby. I respect what you’re saying because I know you’re serious. Don’t worry about Delonte because he’s my problem and as wrong as he may be, I love him. You have to let me live my life like I let you live yours.”

  “I’ll kill him, Ma. I swear to God I’d kill anybody who tries to hurt you.” A lot of conviction was in his voice as he looked me dead in my eyes as if I were Delonte himself.

  Instead of telling him not to ever say that again, I took comfort in knowing that someone cared enough about me to take another life. To me, it was the ultimate love and sacrifice. Some people might say it was sick, but all my life I wanted someone to love me and be willing to do anything for me. For the first time in my entire life, I was hearing those words from my son and the effect it had on me felt better than anything any man could ever say.

  “Baby, let me deal with Delonte and let me live my life. Okay?”

  “Okay, Ma,” he said as he sat down next to me on the bed and continued, “but I’m serious about what I said.”

  “And so am I, now, what’s really going on with your face?” I inquired as I placed my hand on his leg.

  “I told you I bashed it playing football. Delonte’s used to playing on cushions and he don’t know nothing ‘bout no street ball. You know I tell you everything so why you worrying?”

  “I know, baby,” I said as I fell into the one arm hug he gave me. “I just don’t want that to ever change.”

  “It won’t, Ma. You all I have in this world. I’d die for you and die without you. Remember what you used to call me when I was little?”

  “Boy, you still are little, ain’t that much changed,” I laughed and touched his face, and continued “with the exception that you over six feet tall with a little chin hair and shit.”

  “For real, Ma. I’m dead serious. You used to call me your soldier and that’s exactly what I am, your soldier. The only difference now is that I can protect you.”

  Kelsi’s words sent chills up my spine because I could tell he was dead serious. Prior to having this talk, I only guessed that the little boy I nurtured and loved had changed, but now I was certain. He spoke with so much passion that I knew he meant every syllable in every word he said. I rested easier knowing that although I hated seeing his face in the condition it was in, I believed whatever was going on, he could handle it.

  “I know baby, but please don’t worry too much about Delonte. He isn’t as bad as you think he is. He loves me in his own way. We just have to work through some shit.” The more I spoke, the more I believed what I was saying.

  Kelsi on the other hand was quiet and I could tell he wasn’t changing his mind about protecting me, or his opinion, on how he felt about Delonte.

  “Well, do you want me to warm you up some pizza?”

  “No, I’m cool, Ma. I’ll get something later.”

  “Ok. I love you, baby.” I reached in and gave him a hug, holding him a little longer, savoring the moment. I realized at that moment, as a single mother, I didn’t do too bad of a job after all. Kelsi had never been in any major trouble, he was respectful and most of all he loved me.

  When I stood up to leave, I turned around to ask him what made him frame the other pictures I’d given him over a year ago.

  “Ma, why you ask me that?” He asked sounding like a 15-year-old boy for the first time since a few days ago.

  “Because I want to know.”

  “Sometimes I don’t get a chance to see you in the morning when I go to school. Before you got the second job, I was used to seeing you everyday you know? I framed the pictures to look at them before I leave out in the morning. It’s like you’re looking at me and I know everything will be ‘aight. Why you tryna make me all soft and things?”

  “Kelsi ain’t nothing wrong with loving your mother,” I said laughing at his comment and blushing at his reasons.

  “Ma, that’s one thing I do know,” he said in a serious tone.

  His response caught me off guard because I don’t know what I expected him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. He had me seriously thinking about ditching that second job to spend more time with him, because as much as he missed me, I missed him too. The money I would lose wouldn’t be a problem if Delonte and I could make it. It really wouldn’t be a problem if Lorenzo paid his child support on time, but with K-man and Delonte going at it so much, D and me staying together seemed even more impossible.

  “I feel you and you’re right, baby. I am looking over you and I always got your back.”

  “I know, Ma. I know. Hey Ma, before you leav–”

  “Yes baby?”

  “If someone’s trying to take what’s yours, or hurt what yours, do you have a right to defend it or protect it?”

  I figured Kelsi was talking about me and the conversation we just had. Maybe he felt bad for saying he’d kill Delonte if he ever hurt me. In my heart I knew I should have set him straight. I should have said, “Kelsi, it’s not right to say you’d kill somebody,” but I didn’t. In my heart, although it may have been wrong to others, I thought love that strong was selfless and there was nothing wrong with it. I wasn’t going to say anything to change his mind, because like he said, he was my soldier and I wanted to keep it that way.

  “Baby, you have a right to protect and defend anybody you love.”

  He looked up at me, smiled and said, “Thanks, Ma. I needed to hear that.”

  I was almost out of the door when I remembered I had two things to ask him.

  “Kelsi, real quick, did you take Delonte’s keys?”

  “Naw, Ma. I know taking his keys won’t stop him from getting in if you want him to. You the real lock and key,” he laughed.

  “I guess you right.” I laughed. “Also, a friend of yours outside told me to tell you hello.”

  “How he look?” The smile he had immediately dissipated from his face.

  “Umm, I don’t know. He had a scar though.”

  “Thanks, Ma.” I don’t know who he was but I could tell now that he wasn’t a friend.

  “Good night, baby.”

  “Good night, Ma.”

  When I walked out his room, I was comforted by Kelsi’s and my relationship but strained by what was happening between Delonte and me. When I sat on the couch he was sitting down still tight faced, playing with the remote control.

  “Wh
at you watching?” I asked.

  “I ain’t watching nothing. The TV’s watching me.”

  “Come on, Delonte, I need your support not your pressure.”

  “And I’m trying to give it to you but you gonna have to get Kelsi in check. I mean, who’s the man in this house?”

  I wasn’t even going to begin to answer that question. Right now he was acting like a kid and Kelsi had just proven to me that he was a man.

  “Let’s talk about this tomorrow, Delonte.”

  “Do you not see anything wrong with Kelsi and the way he’s been acting?” He asked turning his attention away from the TV and toward me.

  It was now me who chose to use the TV as an escape. It’s funny how a TV can be used to avoid issues and problems. Delonte and I have been using televisions to avoid problems throughout our entire relationship. As I watched Martin surprise Gina with a serenade from Brian McKnight, I seriously thought about Delonte’s question. And the truth was, earlier I did see problems with the way Kelsi was acting but now I understood him. And if he had a problem with Kelsi, he’d have to get over it.

  “I think you should leave things alone,” I told him, not taking my eyes off the TV.

  “Whatever,” he said as he walked toward our room. “And another thing, if a child tells you they’d kill somebody for you, you shouldn’t let that shit slide. I don’t take lightly to threats Janet.”

  “And me either,” I replied feeling irritated by his comment. “Me either.”

  When he closed our bedroom door I was stuck, not because he overheard what Kelsi said, but because I still didn’t see anything wrong with it.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  SEPTEMBER 17

  SATURDAY, 9:30PM

  KELSI

  When I walked through the doors of Landover Fire Department’s community center, the place they were having the party, I was a little noid. I knew I just butted a nigga with the end of a gun and was pretty sure the beef was still on. Luckily for him, my girl was in one piece and hadn’t been fucked with; at least that’s what she told me.