by T. Styles
I was weak. I couldn’t believe Skully plotted against me this entire time. He was never down for me. Once again, somebody I trusted turned on me, but I still wasn’t understanding the reason for wanting Kelsi! Was he tryna make him his son or what? It didn’t make any fucking sense. What hurt the most was the last thing I said to my son regarding Skully was that I trusted him. He asked me if I trusted him. He probably sensed something was up and I said, yes. I trust him. Damn!
“You left us, I mean you left Kelsi without nothing for the first few months we moved into the apartment in Maryland. If you were so down for him, why you do us like that.”
“Janet, who in the fuck you think sent Delonte? I did. That’s why he was so persistent; I kept sending his ass back. I knew he wasn’t no good but I needed somebody to look after Kelsi and I needed somebody to keep an eye on you. He did everything I told him to besides fuck you with my dick.”
Damn. That would explain why I always felt he never belonged to me. Like he was a robot or something.
“But what do you want with Kelsi? I still don’t understand.” I was crying but the tears couldn’t fall from my swollen eyes and the ones that did, burned my face.
“I want his passion!! Do you realize you have created a fucking killing machine? I can have him do anything for me in your name. See the last thing you said to him was that I saved your life, so when you’re gone, who do you think he’ll trust?”
“Skully, be real with me! What in the fuck do you want with Kelsi?” I screamed not caring about the pain in my body. The pain in my heart took over that in my body. He wasn’t telling me shit. All I gathered was that he met Kelsi and wanted to look after him, but why?
“Okay since tonight is your last night alive, the least I can do is tell you the entire story.” He laughed. “I’m tired of Jarvis’s shit! Do you realize I found out that this mothafucka was skimming off the top of product I bought from Kyope? I found out that mothafucka had been doing that shit for years! I go over Jarvis’ head to Kyope, tell this mothafucka what was happening and he tells me he’ll talk to Jarvis, like we fucking brothers and shit! This MOTHAFUCKA STOLE MY SHIT!!! Now the nigga stopped hitting my pockets but what about all the money I could’ve made? A pound of coke every time a drop is made adds up to thousands. Now normally I’d murder his ass myself, but he’s Kyope’s right hand man and I ain’t trying to fuck up my connect, but if Kelsi does it, nobody will suspect him.”
“But why would Kelsi go after him? That shit happened years ago!”
“Because I’ll tell him it was Jarvis who pulled the trigger tonight.”
“Skully you could pay somebody to take out Jarvis and then you wouldn’t have to get Kelsi involved.”
“But it won’t be any fun. Do you realize how much money I’d pay to see Kelsi kill that nigga?”
“Fuck you, you bastard!!!! I can’t believe this is happening. Please wake me up. This is not really happening! If you gonna kill me go ahead cuz I can’t take this any more!”
“Not yet. I have one last treat for you. I want you to meet the person who’ll look after Kelsi while you’re gone.”
When I heard female shoes clicking, I tried to open my eyes. I can’t see shit. I need to see the woman who would be in my son’s life forever. Maybe if she can see me, she’ll take pity on me and be easy on Kelsi.
“Hey, Jannneeett! Ooooo I’m gonna take such good care of Kelseeee!” she said sarcastically.
“No!!!!!!! Not Kenosha!!!!! Nooooo!!!!”
“And just so you know, I’m very educated bitch. I play dumb for those who like it that way.”
This is not happening. This is just like all those other bad dreams I’ve had in the past. I’m reliving a nightmare I didn’t even know existed. Please wake me up.
“Janet!”
“What do you want, Kenosha? If ya’ll gonna kill me get it over with! I was dead the moment I found out Skully turned on me. And you, you got rid of that shit at Delonte’s house didn’t you? His mother didn’t do it.”
“Yes, sweetheart. Who else do you think did it?” She started laughing hysterically. “I can’t have you gathering all of the product and re-selling it to Skully can I? It was his anyway!”
“Yous a no good ass slut!! Both of you are grimy!”
“And you should know what one looks like,” she said as she slapped my face.
It didn’t hurt. I was too angry to feel any pain.
“So what, you gonna try to put the moves on my son now, bitch? He won’t ever want you!! I taught him how to find a snake. He smelled you the moment you introduced yourself.”
“No, baby, I don’t want your precious baby boy. I’ll just have a little fun with him. I’m Skully’s leading lady.”
“That’s right, Janet,” he said with a confident tone.
“How you gonna be anybody’s anything?”
“I’m just like you were only better.” She laughed. “You played the game but played it wrong. But it was nice knowing you,” she said as she cocked the gun. “And don’t worry about us getting back in your place, I got the keys.”
“Kelsi, I love you!!”
“Good night, bitch!”
Click … Bang! Bang! Bang!
Pulling for breath…pulling for breath. Isn’t it amazing how life turns out? The same man who saved my life. Pulling for breath. Just ended it. Breathless.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
OCTOBER 1st
SATURDAY, 11:35PM
KENOSHA
Janet was a funny bitch. She tried to call me out on the same game she played only I played it better. She fucked to get what she wanted just like I did. Delonte used to tell me how stupid she thought I was. Everybody’s not ignorant just because they act dumb. I am to people what they want me to be and what they need me to be. Delonte needed me to want him, cousin or not and I gave it to him. The only blood I care about is running through my veins. If you can do something for me then I can do something for you. If not, keep stepping.
People love to say Kenosha ghetto, so I bees real ghetto and shit and if they really likes it, I may even start actin like a baby so I can really get what I want, but I’m highly educated, with a degree and everything. Fuck a degree! The moment I got it I wiped my ass with it. I like a thug nigga, with a thug mentality and fast dollars to go with it. In turn, I’ll talk when they say talk, move when they say move, just as long as the money flows in like a fountain from a well. Bottomless baby. That’s the only way I like it.
So Janet didn’t know shit but I’ll keep an eye on Kelsi, it’s just a matter of time before he be eating out my hands too. Mark my words and for collateral, I’ll hold on to these blood soiled shirts and Janet’s journal. I guess I’m not too dumb, cuz not even Skully knows about these.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
OCTOBER 4th
SATURDAY, 11:50PM
SKULLY
I do what I do because I do it! End of story. I don’t owe nobody shit and I don’t expect nothing but for my money not to be fucked wit! But that nigga Jarvis got me fucked up a long time ago. I hate a crook ass nigga. He too sneaky to be in the mothafucking game, so when I see his bitch begging at my feet, why not take the opportunity to get revenge? It won’t get the money back in my pockets, but it will wet them with his blood. I ain’t lie about making the lil nigga a promise. I did and I’ll look after him until my work is done, and then, he’s dead too. He knows too much. When he kills Jarvis, I’ll blast him. There was no need to tell Janet all that. She was a hustler. I’ll give her props on that, but in my opinion she should’ve stayed out of the game. She had no business fucking around in this lifestyle again. I hate to give it to her baby boy but I have to. It’ll be my way of looking out for Kyope by taking out the nigga who killed his right hand man.
In the end, I’ma be the last mothafucka standing. Believe dat!
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DECEMBER 26th
MONDAY, 1:45PM
KELSI
A Greyhound bus pass and a
backpack, is all I’m taking with me. It’s all I need. I packed three bottles of water, four snickers bars, a pack of condoms, six wife beaters, eight boxers, twenty grand in cash, two framed pictures of my moms and a pistol. Destination? New York City. I don’t look at it like I’m running away from home because home died when my moms was killed.
I an’t say I know exactly where I’m going but I know what I’m gonna do. I have enough information to find who I’m looking for, or to get ‘em pissed enough to come looking for me. I don’t give a fuck how it goes down just as long as we get it over with. The way I look at it, I ain’t got shit to loose. If I die I’ll be with my mo, but if I live, they’ll have to kill me because I won’t rest until I hunt down his ass along with anybody he fucking cares about.
For two months I’ve been dealing with my mother’s death only to realize I ain’t dealing. Getting up in the morning, still expecting her to come out and say “Good Morning K-man,” even though I asked her not to call me that. What I wouldn’t give to hear her call me K-man now. What I wouldn’t give to hear some advice.
You ain’t felt alone until you walked this earth without your mother. See at any time your pops could get mad, walk out and you’d never see his ass again. See mothafuckas expect them to roll out because that’s what they do. People base their love on whether or not support checks come on time or not. I guess if that be the case, I can say mines ain’t fuck with me at all, but your moms ain’t got no option to roll or to not support your ass, she gotta do it. At least mine didn’t. It was me and her against the world. I could do anything with her by my side.
Some people may think I’m fucked up but I don’t give a damn. Murder is a way of life and I rest easy knowing that one day, I’m gonna die too. Good! Take my life! I want to see my moms. It’s the cycle of things. How you gonna live on this earth if mothafuckas don’t move over and die? It’s gotta happen but before I die, I’m gonna take out every mothafucka who ever made my mother cry, pops included.
And that night, that night was like a fucking nightmare. When Kenosha slid by to pick me up from the Point, I ain’t have no idea of what was in store for me. That nigga completely demolished our apartment. Ripped shit up. Broke shit. Took shit. It was fucked up and worst of all, my mother wasn’t there, not even her body or no signs of it.
I called the one person my mother trusted, Skully. He told me that Jarvis probably had something to do with it because of that Nick dude drumming up shit. He figured word probably got back to them New York niggas that moms had moved to Maryland and they sent their hounds. I believed him. I believed it was all Jarvis’s fault, because even if he ain’t kill my mother with his bare hands, he was still responsible for all the shit he put her through. He set my moms up, left her hanging and shot her twice but she still ain’t die! Somebody should’ve told that nigga that a true soldier lives forever!
Shit, she even took the fall for all my murders. She wrote a note and had someone mail it if she ever came up missing. In it she confessed to the murder of Charles, Delonte and even what she referred to as the “Murder at Haines Point.” It worked out perfectly because a few days later, Lakeisha’s lifeless body washed up at the Point and the rental car I used was still parked in the same spot. I always wondered how she knew not to include Lorenzo’s name on the confession. I knew the murder at Haines Point was supposed to be for Lorenzo but instead it ended up being for Lakeisha.
Maybe it was the same instinct that told her to tell Shelly to look out for me so that bum ass Lorenzo couldn’t do it. Or maybe it was because she didn’t see it done and wanted to be sure first. I don’t know what her reasons were, but she looked out for me, and her confessions allowed me the freedom to avenge her death! I know I sound like a super hero, but I don’t give a fuck. She kept me free so I can free her and because of it, they don’t know the time or the hour I’m coming, but I will be there.
Since I ain’t never see her body, I held onto the hope that maybe she wasn’t dead, but on Christmas Day, I was delivered a package I’d never forget. I was sitting in the living room with Lorenzo, Shelly and Lorenzo Jr. They were opening gifts but I wasn’t in the mood. The doorbell rang and it was a FedEx delivery person with a package for me. When I sat and opened it, it rocked me. My mom’s heart was in a box with a note saying, “Nobody has heart when they’re dead.”
I couldn’t cry. I had shit to do and tears would blur my vision. It was obvious they wanted beef by disgracing my mother’s name so I decided to bring it. I was staying with Shelly so rolling out was too easy. I told her I had some things to take care of and when I’m done, I’d be back and if I’m not, don’t come looking for me.
The next thing I did was call Skully. He told me he understood what I had to do and why I had to do it. He even told me a few places to look for Jarvis and Kyope. Real helpful right? I know. A little too helpful for me. When I thought about all the things he did for us I remembered what she used to tell me, “Nothing is as what it seems.” The more I thought about it, the more I had a feeling she was right. I’m not sure if Skully is down for me, but I do know that only time will tell.
The next thing I heard was like music to my ears, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to New York City.”
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