The Army Doc's Christmas Angel

by Annie O'Neil

  “I’ve really got to get on.” She pressed the door again and this time he dropped his hand and watched it shut. How was that for poetic justice? A door closing right in his face just when he’d thought a new path in life had just opened to him.

  Right.

  He glanced at his watch. An hour until his next surgery. A poor little girl born with curly toes. Sounded cute. Was actually very painful. Now that they had exhausted all the physiotherapy routes and waited for her to reach the ripe old age of four to see if her tendons were going to offer her any relief, he was hoping to put an end to that pain today.

  He headed to his office, mulling over Naomi’s cool reaction to seeing him after last night. He suspected there was a lot more to Naomi’s lack of eye contact and polite thanks but, no, thanks to his invitation to meet up than a simple case of “buyer’s remorse.”

  Quite the opposite, he was suspecting.

  Intimacy was the one thing he’d been unable to bear when he’d been hurt. A lot of his mates from the military had also struggled to make a start on a relationship—or, even more to the point, hold onto one. Help it flourish and grow.

  He grabbed the back of the wheeled chair in his office and let it take his full weight as he picked up his phone from his desk and thumbed through the address book. There was one person who knew exactly what it was like to be an open and loving soul on the receiving end of a person going through hell.

  He stared at the phone for a moment then, after years of promising himself he would press “call,” he pressed down on the little green receiver icon and lifted the phone to his ear.

  Hearing her voice say hello was like being yanked straight back in time—except this time he had perspective. This time he wasn’t a raging ball of fury. This time there was gratitude she had been as kind to him as she had.

  “Caroline. It’s me. Finn.”

  The line was silent for a moment and he was just about to explain who he was again when she spoke.

  “You think I wouldn’t recognize your voice after all these years?” There was no acrimony in her voice. No bitterness. He heard children’s laughter in the background and a dog bark, followed by Caroline’s muffled instructions to take the dog outside while she spoke on the phone. An old friend was on the line.

  An old friend.

  Generous of her.

  “You’ve got kids.”

  “Observant as ever.” She laughed easily then gave a little sigh. “I’ve landed on my feet, Finn. I hope the reason you’re calling is to tell me you have, too.”

  “Tell me about you some more first.” He pushed his chair back from his desk and threw his good leg up onto his desk and gave his knee a rub as she told him how she’d transferred schools after things had fallen apart with him so she could be closer to her family in the Cotswolds. She was a primary school teacher and had stuck with it. After keeping a close guard on her heart for a while, the gentle persistence of a certain black-haired, blue-eyed teacher across the corridor from her classroom had eventually persuaded her she should let herself love again.

  They had two children now—Matty and Willow—and a dog named Mutt.

  “So-o-o-o....” Caroline persisted. “I’m presuming you’re not calling me to tell me bad news or you would’ve said it by now. Are your parents all right?”

  He smiled at the receiver. Even all these years later she still knew him pretty well. As for his news? He was...by God...he was pretty sure he was in love again.

  “The parents are fine. Tanning like lizards down in Spain.” He’d rung them last week and would ring again. Let them know he finally had news on Caroline and that things might have changed for him a bit as well. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “For what?” Caroline’s hand went back over the receiver as she issued some more instructions to her children, who had burst back indoors again. He heard something about Santa keeping close tabs on them followed by a sudden, obedient silence.

  “That usually keeps then in check,” Caroline said in such a way he could practically see the smile on her face. She’d always wanted to be a mother and he’d always wanted “just one more tour” before they began a family. Sounds like things had panned out for her just as she’d hoped. Eventually, of course. What was the saying? After the storm came the rainbow. Something like that. Whatever it was, he hoped her rainbow was a double.

  “I’m sorry I was such a git,” he said. “After...you know...everything.”

  “You weren’t exactly seeing silver linings when you got back, Finn.” Caroline’s voice was soft. Forgiving. “And it’s me who should be thanking you.”

  “What? For being a right old ass and pushing away the one person who loved me most?”

  “Your parents probably had the market on that one.” Caroline laughed then fell silent for a moment. “Look, we were kids when we were married. Did I hope and pray it would work out? Of course I did. I loved you.”

  “Loved?” He knew he was being cheeky, but it was nice to know the vows they’d taken had meant something. They’d meant something to him, and tearing them apart as he had—ruthlessly—had been like destroying part of his own moral code.

  “You know what I mean. I’m happy now. Really happy. And I wouldn’t be married to this great guy or have these fabulous, extra-noisy kids of mine if things hadn’t gone the way they had with us. It took a while, but I see now that I wasn’t the person to help you get back up. You were the only one who could do that and you were determined to do it alone.”

  “That I was.” Finn huffed out a laugh. “Turns out it takes a lot longer if you do it on your own.”

  “Yes, it does.” He could picture her nodding and smiling in that endearing way of hers and was heartened to realize the place he had in his heart for Caroline was very firmly in the “cherished friends” section.

  “Are you in love, Finn? Is that why you’re ringing? I hope to God you’re not going to ask my permission, because you’ve always had my blessing to find joy.”

  He barked a laugh. “How the hell did you figure that out from a few ‘what’s been going on for the past twelve years of your life’ questions?”

  “Ha! I’m right. Love that. Totally easy to figure out.” He heard her blow on her knuckles and knew she was giving them a bit of a polish on whatever top she was wearing. Most likely a goofy Christmas jumper if she was anything like she used to be.

  “Easy how?”

  “Easy because you’ve never rung me before and your voice has a certain puppy-dog quality to it.”

  “What? Roughty-toughty me? I don’t think so.”

  “I do,” Caroline said firmly. “So what’s holding you back? You’d better not say it’s me, because that ship sailed long ago, my friend.” She spoke without animosity and Finn knew she was doing her best to tell him that whatever guilt he had about the past wasn’t necessary anymore. She was in a great place and she wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t left her.

  Finn thought for a moment. Losing his leg had ripped him from his past in one cruel instant. He’d never be the lifelong soldier he’d planned on becoming. But it was different for Naomi. She’d not had any sort of closure as far as he could make out. Her internal life still seemed dominated by what she thought she should have done. An impossible position to live with when your choices had been life or death.

  “I think she might be afraid that if she lets herself love me, she’ll lose her link to the past.” He didn’t tell her Naomi’s story. It wasn’t his to tell, but it gave Caroline the lie of the land.

  “Well, then. I guess someone had better find himself a way to prove to her that it is possible to love again, and still be true to yourself.”

  “Good advice, Caroline.”

  “Yeah, well...” She could’ve said a lot of things here. She’d learned from bitter experience. Life could be cruel when you least expected it. But she didn’t. Because she o
bviously also knew that life could be kind and full of richly rewarding happiness that made near enough anything seem possible. Even convincing the woman he loved that she wasn’t betraying her family by opening up her heart again.

  “Happy Christmas, Finn,” Caroline said.

  “Happy Christmas to you, my friend. And thank you.”

  “Couldn’t think of a nicer Christmas present than to hear you’ve finally found yourself again.”

  “Took long enough.”

  “Well, you’re tall,” she said. Then laughed. They garbled a farewell as her children’s quiet time erupted into a spontaneous round of “Jingle Bells.”

  He said goodbye, not even sure if she heard him, but the warm feeling he had in his chest told him all he needed to know.

  Caroline had forgiven him and moved on. All the proof he needed that miracles existed.

  Now all he needed to do was show Naomi she could trust him to be there for her. He was ready now. Ready to live his life to the fullest. And the one way it would be the best life possible was to know he would have Naomi by his side.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  NAOMI PUSHED HER tray along the counter of the hospital cafeteria, not really seeing the food options. Normally she loved it here. The social atmosphere. Doctors, families, hospital employees all taking a break from “the medicine business” to enjoy a meal. When it wasn’t absolutely freezing out, like today, the cafeteria’s concertina doors opened up to a small garden that was scattered with picnic tables.

  “Do you mind if I take that?”

  Naomi turned to see Madison Archer, the diagnostician from America, reaching for the last bowl of Christmas pudding drowning in a puddle of custard. Truly healthy fare for a hospital.

  Her shoulders hunched up around her ears as she inhaled and let out a sigh. It was Christmas. People deserved a treat.

  “It’s all yours,” she said to Madison, even though it was a bit of a moot point at this juncture. “Enjoy.” She tacked that on to make herself sound cheerier than she felt.

  “Is that what you’re eating?” Madison asked as they shuffled up the queue a couple more steps.

  Naomi stared at her tray as if seeing it for the first time. A bowl of applesauce. A plate of spaghetti. And a yoghurt.

  “Nothing on there really looks like it matches.” Madison reached across Naomi toward the fruit bowl and pointed at a banana just out of reach. Naomi handed it to her. “So. Are you pregnant?”

  Naomi’s eyes went wide. She and Finn had used protection and it wasn’t like she wanted children right away anyhow—Wait. No. This whole line of thought was completely going in the wrong direction.

  Madison unleashed a triumphant smile. “Am I right?” She gave a little air punch. “God, I needed a win.”

  Naomi winced an apology. “Sorry. I’m just distracted. Not pregnant.” She stared at her tray of mismatched food and bought it all anyhow. She could put the yoghurt in the staff fridge for later when she was filling up gift bags for the children...also known as avoiding Finn so he could forget about her as soon as possible.

  She gave Madison a quick smile then wound her way through the lunchtime crowd to the one free table in the room.

  A bite or two into her spaghetti she laid down her fork. Nothing was right today. Ever since she’d left Finn’s houseboat without leaving so much as a note, the entire day had felt off kilter.

  “Sorry. All the other tables are full and I’ve not really found an office to claim as my own yet. Do you mind?” Madison was already settling down in the chair, so Naomi scooched her tray over a bit to make room for her. More quizzes on whether or not she was pregnant were definitely not what she was after. She would’ve eaten in the gym, but every time she’d walked in there today all she’d been able to think of was Finn...a shirtless Finn...and being kissed by him and held by him and—Urgh.

  Stop. Thinking. About. Finn.

  “Enjoying your stay?” Naomi asked, to cover the fact that she was playing with her food and the few bites she had taken had tasted like cardboard.

  “Not particularly,” said Madison, stabbing at one of the small roast potatoes that had come with her chicken and vegetables.

  Naomi sat back in her chair and looked at the forthright woman across from her, then laughed. “You’ve definitely not let the English way of covering up how you really feel get to you, then.”

  Madison shrugged. “Why would I do that? Wastes time. And energy.” She cut off a piece of chicken and brandished it in Naomi’s face. “If I could just get disease to be as forthright as I am, I would be one happy customer.” She ate her chicken.

  “If only life could be that simple.”

  “But it isn’t, is it?” Madison pounced on the statement. “It’s a complex, difficult and solitary business.” The diagnostician didn’t seem angry about it. That was just the way life was. She stabbed another potato with her fork and popped it into her mouth.

  Naomi was about to protest when she realized she had actually been living her own life precisely as Madison had succinctly put it. Definitely the solitary part. But who at the end of the day was she protecting? Certainly not her family. Whether she was happy or sad, single or falling in love, it would never change what had happened to them.

  “Do you think it has to be? Solitary?”

  Madison’s green eyes widened at the question then softened. “Maybe not. I just find it’s easiest.” She stared at her plate for a moment then stood. “I think I’ll finish this pudding thing on the ward. See if the ensuing sugar high gives me any insight.”

  “Ivy?” Naomi asked.

  “Hmm.” Madison scanned the room as if looking for an escape route.

  “The trays go over there. Against the wall.” Naomi rose with her own tray. She didn’t have much of an appetite either.

  “Too many mince pies?” Madison asked, as her final stab at conversation.

  “Something like that,” Naomi said to Madison’s back as the redhead slid her tray onto the rack and headed toward the cafeteria’s main doors where an all-too-familiar figure appeared.

  “Butterflies, more like,” Naomi whispered, as she turned and headed for a side exit. “Definitely butterflies.”

  * * *

  Finn glanced through the glass doors into the gym and saw Naomi putting away some equipment from a session with a patient. A pretty strong one, from the looks of the weights she was hoiking about. Now that he was finally being honest with himself, admitting that he loved Naomi, it was a true pleasure to watch her pootle about the gym, slipping things into place, having little conversations with herself—presumably about one patient or another.

  When she looked up, those warm eyes of hers lit up when she saw him, and just as quickly dulled.

  He pushed through the swinging gym doors. No point in standing outside like a creepy stalker. Besides, he had to get down to the sports center.

  “Hey, there.”

  “Hi.” Naomi started rearranging the weights he’d only just seen her settle into place. Unnecessary busy work.

  “I’m just going to put it out there. It seems like you’re avoiding me.”

  A nervous laugh formed a protective bubble around Naomi, telling him all he needed to know. “No. Of course not.”

  “So...” He sat down on one of the large balancing balls in the room and stared at his hands for a moment. “Why am I getting the opposite impression?”

  “I’m not avoiding you,” she said, dodging meeting the clear gray of his eyes as she spoke. “I just... It’s been busy.”

  “Too busy to come out for a mug of hot chocolate?” He pointed in the direction of the atrium. “My shout.”

  “No. Sorry. I...”

  Finn watched as she floundered for an excuse and decided to put her out of her misery. He rose from the balancing ball and cupped her shoulders in his hands. “I liked wha
t happened between us the other night. Did it scare the hell out of me? Absolutely. Do I want it to happen again? Definitely. Will I encounter some stumbling blocks in unveiling the true Charm Machine that lives somewhere under this grumpy bear exterior? I hope so. For you. For me. For what I think could be an ‘us’... I really hope so.”

  Naomi wriggled out from beneath his hands. “Thank you. I’ve just—I’ve got a lot to do tonight.”

  “This wouldn’t have anything to do with feeling guilty about letting yourself actually enjoy your life, would it?”

  From the sharp look of dismay that creased her features Finn knew he’d hit the nail on the head.

  “Hey.” He brushed the back of his hand along her soft cheek. “I know what you’re feeling. And if you believe you can trust in that, trust in me. I will be here for you when you’re ready.”

  * * *

  An hour later, down at the sports center, the feeling that he might’ve pushed too hard kept losing Finn point after point.

  “I hope she’s worth it,” Charlie called out as he threw the basketball through the hoop with a fluid swoosh.

  “Who?”

  Playing dumb had been one of his fortes during the dark years. But it didn’t always work with Charlie.

  “The woman giving you a taste of your own medicine.”

  “And what medicine is that exactly?” Finn grunted as Charlie threw the ball at him. Hard.

  “The kind of medicine a man deserves when he’s pushed and pushed every woman who’s ever tried to get close to him as far away as he can and then, when he falls hook, line and sinker, is made to work for it.”

  “That obvious?”

  “That obvious.”

  Charlie wheeled to the side of the court and chalked up his hands then came back to give Finn a quick once-over. “You’ve got The Look.”

  “The Look? What the hell is that?”

  “All doe-eyed and soppy-faced—”

  Finn punched him in the arm. “There isn’t a doe-eyed cell in my body.”

  “Rubbish. You’re one of the most romantic men I’ve ever met. It’s why you fell to bits after...” Charlie tipped his head toward Finn’s leg, his expression as sober as a judge’s. “You wanted things to be perfect. Your vision for how you saw your life, army, marriage, the whole shebang had been all planned out. You hadn’t planned on this happening. Not ever again. Well, my friend, it’s happened. So how are you going to deal with it? Fight or flight?”