Better You Than Me

by Jessica Brody

  “Yeah,” I reply. “I fainted after the kiss scene with Ryder Vance.”

  Ruby barks out a laugh, which really doesn’t help my confidence. A moment later she clears her throat. “Actually, this is good. It buys us some time to sort this out. First we need to get you out of the trailer.” Her tone is suddenly very commanding, and I’m glad she’s taking charge of the situation, because I haven’t the slightest clue what I’m doing. “Tell my mom you left something on set and you’re just going back to get it before you leave.”

  “Um…,” I say, trying not to make eye contact with Eva. “I just need to run back to set to get something before we leave.”

  “Oh, no,” Eva says, stalking up to me. “You shouldn’t be running around in your condition. I’ll call Russ to go get it.”

  “No!” Ruby shouts in my ear.

  “No!” I shout with just as much enthusiasm. Eva startles and stops in her tracks, shooting me a funny look. I take it down a notch. “I need to get it myself. I’ll be back in a second.”

  “Good,” Ruby commends. “Now get out of there fast before she can argue.”

  Eva opens her mouth to say something and I bolt for the door. As soon as I’m outside, I let out a sigh of relief. “Your mom is really…” I search for the right word, but I can’t quite come up with it.

  Ruby seems to understand anyway. “I know.”

  I glance around the studio, once again taking in the massive building in front of me and the gold plaque that reads “Ruby of the Lamp.” I get another jolt of adrenaline. I still can’t believe I’m here. On the set of my favorite show!

  I keep the phone pressed to my ear as Ruby guides me through the soundstage and down the hallway to the prop room. I’m relieved to find that the door is propped open. I slip inside and Ruby warns me not to close it behind me this time.

  “Now,” she says, “we need to find that lamp. Do you remember what it looks like?”

  “Yes,” I reply, heading toward the back, where Ruby and I sat before the earthquake…or whatever that was. Thankfully, the lights are back on.

  I spot the lamp on the floor. We must have dropped it when the room started to shake. I race over and scoop it up. “Got it!”

  “Put me on video,” Ruby commands.

  “Okay. Hold on.” I press a button on Ruby’s phone and a moment later, a face appears on the screen.

  My face!

  I startle and nearly drop the phone.

  “Whoa. This is so weird.” I squint at the screen. My stomach swoops as I take in my pale blue eyes, my dirty-blond hair, my wide nose.

  “Totally!” my face says.

  “It’s like I’m talking to myself.”

  My face giggles. “You kind of are. Okay, hold up the lamp to the camera.”

  I do what Ruby says, turning the lamp this way and that, examining it from all angles, while she does the same. The problem is, I don’t know what we’re looking for.

  “Hmm,” Ruby says, sounding disappointed. “I was kind of hoping it would be obvious.”

  “You were hoping what would be obvious?” I ask.

  “How to switch us back!” she says, sounding slightly exasperated.

  “Oh, right.” I immediately feel a splash of disappointment. Of course she’d want to switch back. She doesn’t really want my life. She was just saying that. She was just venting. Now that she’s gotten a glimpse of how flawed it is, she wants to go back to her perfect life. I don’t blame her.

  “Try making the wish again,” Ruby suggests. “I mean, the opposite wish.”

  “Okay.” Even though I really don’t want it to work, I know it’s the rational thing to do. Obviously I can’t be Ruby Rivera. And she can’t be me. That’s ridiculous.

  I set the phone on a nearby shelf with the screen facing me. I close my eyes so I don’t have to see my own face watching me. It’s too strange. I take a deep breath and clutch the lamp with both hands. “I wish Ruby Rivera and I could switch back.”

  I wait with my eyes shut tight. I don’t know what I expected—some kind of tingling sensation, swirling pink smoke like on the show, maybe another earthquake—but nothing happens. When I open my eyes again, I’m still in the prop room, and Ruby Rivera—or rather, Ruby Rivera with my face—is still on the screen.

  I can’t help feeling just the slight twinge of relief. “It didn’t work,” I say.

  “Really?” Ruby replies sarcastically. “I hadn’t noticed.”

  Her comment stings a little, but I try not to let it show. I watch my face on the screen pull into a frustrated scowl. “Okay,” she says, chewing on her thumbnail. My thumbnail. “It must only work if we touch the lamp at the same time. Like we did before. Which means I need to get back there.”

  “But how?” I ask. “My mom is never going to drive you all the way back.”

  She continues to gnaw on my nail. “You’re right. She was still really mad when we got here. But there has to be a way. I can’t miss another day of filming tomorrow. We’re finishing the season finale! I can’t not be there. I still have to shoot that stupid kiss scene with Ryder Vance. Not to mention all the other scenes of the episode.”

  The reminder of Ryder Vance sends a wave of giddiness through me, followed by cold humiliation. I still can’t believe I hiccupped in his face.

  “Well, you’re lucky,” I say with a sigh as the reality of my life comes crashing back to me. “Kissing Ryder Vance sounds like a dream compared to what I have planned for tomorrow. I have to give an oral presentation on Of Mice and Men at school. Otherwise, I’ll fail Language Arts.”

  “Of Mice and Men?” Ruby asks, raising a single eyebrow. I don’t know how she’s able to do that on my face. I could never manage to raise just one eyebrow.

  “Yeah,” I reply. “Why?”

  She shakes her head. “Nothing, it’s just…that’s one of my favorite books.”

  I snort. “Well, my Language Arts teacher would loooove you.”

  Ruby is quiet for a long time.

  “What?” I ask, the endless stretch of silence starting to grate on my nerves.

  “Did you say you live in Irvine?” Ruby asks.

  “Yeah, why?”

  She continues to gnaw at my thumbnail like she’s been left stranded on a deserted island and it’s her only source of food. “That’s close to Costa Mesa, right?”

  I have no idea where she’s going with this. “Yeah. It’s only like ten minutes away. I know because my mom said she would take me to South Coast Plaza on Sunday afternoon to see…” My voice trails off.

  To see Ruby Rivera.

  A chill runs down my arms. “What are you thinking?”

  She finally pulls her thumb from her mouth, her eyes lighting up like she’s just made the scientific discovery of the century. “I might have a plan.”

  Three days.

  That’s all.

  Three days to live in another girl’s shoes. To experience something new. To be normal.

  The thought fills me with so much joy and adrenaline, I nearly drop the phone. I stand up from the toilet seat and start pacing the tiny apartment bathroom. And it really is tiny. It’s barely bigger than my trailer bathroom. Plus, judging from the two toothbrushes in the holder, it’s the only bathroom in the house.

  So this is how normal people live.

  They share bathrooms.

  They probably have nice, long, normal conversations while brushing their teeth side by side. That sounds pretty nice.

  “Are you pacing my bathroom?” Skylar interrupts my thoughts.

  I stop pacing and stare at the camera. On the screen my own face stares anxiously back at me.

  It could work.

  It really could.

  And it kind of has to, because I’m not sure we have any other choice.

  I
suck in a breath and quickly blow it out. “Be me,” I tell her. “Just until Sunday. And I’ll be you. And then we’ll meet up at the mall and switch back.”

  My dark brown eyes stare back at me in disbelief. “What?”

  “It’ll be fun!” I insist. “I’ll go to school for you tomorrow and do your oral presentation. I’ve read Of Mice and Men like five times! And you can memorize a few scenes, right? It’s not like the kind of acting I do is hard. Then on Saturday you can go to the Tween Choice Awards. You can get all dressed up and walk the red carpet and meet celebrities. And I’ll do whatever you have planned.”

  “I don’t have anything planned,” Skylar says glumly, looking embarrassed.

  “Even better!” I exclaim. “I can sleep in for the first time in four years!”

  I watch Skylar’s reaction carefully. There’s shock etched into her face. My face. It’s actually a better reaction than I think I’ve ever done on the show. And then, just to sweeten the deal, I quickly add, “You’ll get to kiss Ryder Vance!”

  “Y-y-you want me to just be you?”

  I nod vigorously. “Yes! Isn’t that what you said you wanted?”

  She blinks. “Well, yeah, but—”

  I cut her off. “But what? It’ll be great. You’ll get to be a TV star for the weekend, and I’ll get to be a normal kid. Just take the lamp with you now so you don’t forget, and bring it to the mall on Sunday. No one will even notice it’s gone.”

  “Be you,” she repeats numbly, like she’s trying on the words, waiting to see how they feel. “Be Ruby Rivera.”

  “It’ll be like a mini vacation from our lives. And we can help each other out. I can save your Language Arts grade, and you can save me from having to kiss Ryder.”

  Skylar’s face twists in confusion. “Wait, why don’t you want to kiss Ryder?”

  I fight the revulsion that passes over me. I could tell her the truth—that he’s an obnoxious, self-centered, narcissistic jerk—but I don’t think that’s going to help convince her to go along with my plan. So I just tell her a half truth. “Because he’s like a brother to me.”

  She looks contemplative for a moment before her eyes (my eyes) light up like someone just flipped a switch. “Okay! Let’s do it!”

  I grin. “Awesome! Okay, so you’ll need to memorize scenes five, seven, nine, fifteen, and twenty in the script.”

  Panic flashes in her eyes as she glances around the prop room. “Should I be writing this down?”

  I shake my head. “It’s fine. It’ll all be in the call sheet.”

  “Call sheet?”

  “You’ll get it emailed to you tonight. It’s basically a shooting schedule.” She nods like she’s following, but I can tell she’s already feeling overwhelmed by my life. “Don’t worry. Just follow everyone’s lead and you’ll be fine. Mom will drive you to the studio; then Russ will lead you to the hair-and-makeup trailer—he’s the one who’s always holding a clipboard, you can’t miss him. Cami will do your makeup and Gina will do your hair. Then Sierra will get you dressed before you go to set. Make sure you memorize your lines tonight or Barry will yell at you. Actually, he’ll probably yell at you anyway. He yells at everyone, but he’ll yell at you less if you’re prepared. You can find a copy of the final episode script in my trailer. Or my mom always has a copy on her.”

  “Final episode?” she asks, the panic quickly replaced with excitement. “You mean, I get to find out what happens in the season finale before everyone else?”

  I smile. “Yup.”

  “Oh my gosh, that is too cool!”

  “So do you think you can handle all that?”

  She nods. “Definitely. I won’t let you down.”

  “Okay, what do I need to know about your life?”

  She bites her lip, thinking. “Um, well, my mom is a professor of literature at UC–Irvine.”

  I think my heart just stopped. “Are you serious?”

  She rolls her eyes. “I know, super boring, right?”

  “Super amazing,” I correct her.

  She shrugs. “Well, good. Have fun with that, then.”

  “What else?” I ask. “Like, what about school?”

  “Oh, okay. Well, my class schedule is on my phone. Language Arts is first period, so be ready for the presentation first thing. My locker number is seven ninety-two and my combination is one, fifteen, twenty-nine.”

  “One, fifteen, twenty-nine,” I repeat. “Seven ninety-two. Got it.”

  She blinks. “Really? Just like that?”

  I laugh. “I’ve been memorizing lines since I was eight years old.”

  “Oh, right. Okay. So Mom takes me to school, but I take the number seventy-two bus home. It’s a public bus.”

  My stomach knots. She takes the public bus all by herself? At twelve? Mom won’t let me do anything by myself except bathe. And even then she sometimes barges in on me in the bath to remind me to scrub my face with the extra-strength acne wash. Not just soap.

  “Get off at California Avenue,” Skylar continues. “Oh! And I almost forgot. Watch out for the Ellas.”

  “The Ellas,” I echo curiously. “Is that like a disease you get from riding the public bus?”

  She giggles. “No! The Ellas are a group of girls at my school. Daniella is the leader, and then there’s Isabella and Gabriella. You can’t miss them. They’re the prettiest girls in school, but they can be kind of mean.”

  “Okay. Ellas. Mean. Got it.”

  She shakes her head. “No, you don’t understand. They…they’re…” She pauses, like she’s searching for the right words but can’t find them.

  “Did these girls do something to you?” I ask.

  She turns away from the screen, like I’ve hit a sore spot, but then a moment later she shakes her head and says, “No. Just…be careful.”

  I nod. “Okay.”

  Just then, there’s a knock on the door and I nearly jump. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m getting worried.” It’s Skylar’s mom again.

  “I’m fine!” I call, and then turn back to the screen. “I better go before your mom calls an ambulance or something.”

  Skylar nods. “Okay. Well, good luck! Call me if you need me.” Then she giggles. “I guess you know the number.”

  I giggle, too. The anticipation of stepping outside that bathroom door is making my whole body tingly. “Yeah, I guess I do. And good luck to you, too! I’ll see you on Sunday.”

  I end the call and set the phone down on the counter. I give my new, unfamiliar reflection another long, hard stare, taking in Skylar’s dark blond hair and pale blue eyes and pasty skin. She’s cute, in a sort of childish way. I mean, she wouldn’t be getting any auditions for the Xoom! Channel, but to me she has the most beautiful face in the world.

  A normal face.

  And just outside this bathroom door is her life. The life I’ve always wanted for myself. A life she clearly does not appreciate.

  “Are you hungry?” comes the voice of Skylar’s mom again. “Do you want some dinner?”

  A life I’m about to devour whole.

  I want to call back that I’m starving. Famished. That I’ve been hungry for the past four years. But I don’t. Instead, I turn away from the mirror, I open the door wide, and with a huge smile on my face, I say, “Yes, I’m ready.”

  Be Ruby Rivera?

  It’s like a dream come true. I mean, it literally is a dream come true. I get this awesome glamorous life and she’s going to take my blah life in exchange? I definitely got the better end of this deal. She really has no idea what she’s in for tomorrow.

  I stare down at the phone still clutched in my hands. Ruby’s phone. On the outside it looks like mine, but on the inside…

  I open the Contacts app and nearly drop the phone in shock.

  WHOA!

 
She has like every celebrity ever in here! I quickly scroll through the names, my mouth stretching wider and wider as I see people like Ryder Vance, Lennon Harper, Audrina McCoy, and…

  “Berrin James?” I screech, covering my gaping mouth with my hand.

  As in the Berrin James from my favorite boy band, Summer Crush? No way. No freaking way! I click on the contact, and there, displayed right on the screen in front of me, is Berrin James’s personal phone number. At my fingertips.

  If I texted him right now, would he text back? What would he say? What would I say? Maybe I’ll tell him how much I liked Summer Crush’s last album.

  No. Too obvious.

  How about “OMG! BERRIN JAMES I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE FIFTH GRADE!”

  Definitely not.

  I know—I’ll just ask him what he’s up to.

  With shaky hands, I click on the Message app and type:

  Hey Berrin! It’s Ruby! What’s up?

  I press send and hold my breath. A moment later, a text message pops up on the screen of the phone, causing me to scream.

  WHERE ARE YOU???

  Sadly, it’s not from Berrin James. It’s from Ruby’s mom. I laugh aloud.

  My mom.

  My TV show.

  My life.

  I am Ruby Rivera now. I still can’t believe it. The thought gives me a surge of confidence like nothing I’ve ever felt before. For the past four years, I’ve channeled Ruby almost every time I was scared or anxious or unsure of what to say. And that’s always gotten me through stuff. But now I don’t have to channel her. I am her.

  I feel like I could tackle anything. Do anything. Speak to anyone.

  I quickly stuff the lamp under my shirt, doing my best to hide it. Then I take a deep breath and stride fearlessly out of the prop room.

  Ruby Rivera can have middle school and the snobby Ellas and our cramped faculty housing apartment. I’m about to experience life as a star.

  I didn’t get a very good look at the apartment when I first came in, because I was too eager to get to a bathroom and call Skylar. But now that I’ve had a chance to walk around, all I can say is this: