Better You Than Me

by Jessica Brody

  When Ruby and I sign off from our video call, we’re both so angry, we can barely look at each other. We both just say a terse “goodbye,” keeping our gazes trained anywhere but into the cameras, and end the call.

  I can’t believe what she did! The whole catastrophe with the Ellas is one thing, but telling my mom she could go on a date? That is crossing the line. That is so much worse than anything I did! So what if I got her into a little hot water with Carey Divine, or signed her up to do another season of the show. None of those things are permanent. The Carey feud will probably blow over, and I’m sure she can still back out of the show. Or even if she can’t, she can suffer through one more season.

  But what she did to me is personal. She messed with my family. My whole life.

  I’m so mad, I toss the phone across Ruby’s bedroom. I expect to see and hear it shatter with some kind of satisfying cracking noise, but it doesn’t. It just bounces harmlessly off the soft white carpet and skids to a halt.

  Whatever.

  I can fix this. As soon as I’m back in my old body, I’ll talk to my mom. I’ll set the record straight. I’ll tell her I’m not ready for her to date yet. I’ll tell her she’s not ready to date yet. I’ll make her see the truth. I’ll cry if I have to. But I’ll make sure she never sees that Clint guy again.

  Ruby’s words come streaming back into my mind.

  “And you are so obsessed with what you want, you’re completely blind to what anyone else wants.”

  For a moment, a small part of me wonders if she’s right. Have I been blind to something my mother wanted this whole time? Have I been only thinking about myself?

  No. Of course she’s not right. She’s wrong. About everything! She doesn’t know anything about it. She’s never met my dad. She’s never seen my parents when they were happy. And they were happy. And they will be happy again. As soon as we get back to Amherst, they’ll work things out. They’ll realize how much they’ve missed each other and how ridiculous they’ve been and get back together. But that’s never going to happen if Mom is out there dating every random guy she meets.

  “Ruby!” Eva calls from the stairs. “We’re leaving in twenty minutes! You better be ready.”

  “Oh, I’m ready,” I reply quietly through gritted teeth.

  I carefully pack the genie lamp into my bag and change into the outfit Eva has picked out for me for the signing. Then I head into the bathroom to attempt to fix my makeup. It’s pretty hopeless. I’ve completely ruined it with all my crying and angry yelling. No matter. Cami is still here from the Celebrity Spot interview. I’m sure she’ll fix it before we leave.

  I stare at Ruby’s reflection in the mirror and take a deep breath. Just a few days ago this reflection brought me so much hope and excitement and giddiness. Just a few days ago I would have killed to have gotten a phone call from Ruby Rivera. But a lot can change in a few days. Now seeing her face in the mirror makes me want to scream.

  HUUUGHHUUP!

  Relax, I tell myself. Soon this will all be over. Soon I’ll be back in my own skin. My own room. My own bed. And the first thing I’m doing when I get there is stripping my room of every piece of Ruby memorabilia I can find. I’m done with Ruby Rivera. Forever.

  Soon this face will be nothing more than a distant memory.

  When Rebecca gets home from her date, I’m waiting for her in the living room, dressed and ready to go. Ready to get my life back. But her date clearly didn’t go well, because she closes the front door with a bang and scowls at me.

  I want to ask her about it. I want to console her, but there’s no time. The autographing session at the mall started five minutes ago and I need to get there. I need to put an end to this. That girl ruined my life. I can’t stand for her to be in my skin for a second longer than she has to.

  “Mom,” I begin rationally. “I’m sorry if your date didn’t go well and I want to hear about it, but you promised to take me to the mall to see Ruby Rivera and we’re already late, so can we talk about it in the car?”

  She squints at me as though I’m speaking another language. “What?”

  “The autograph session at South Coast Plaza?” I prompt. “Ruby Rivera is there right now. You promised to take me.”

  “You think I’m going to take you to the mall after what you’ve done?”

  I gape back at her, completely confused. What is she talking about?

  She brandishes her phone toward me. “I just got a call from the credit card company.”

  Uh-oh.

  “Did you really use your emergency card to buy a six-hundred-dollar dress?” The way she emphasizes “emergency” tells me she doesn’t have the same definition of the word as I do.

  I wince. “Is that not okay?”

  Clearly, that was the wrong thing to say, because she throws her hands in the air. “Of course it’s not okay! My first car didn’t cost that much!”

  “Really?” I reply stupidly. “How is that even possible?”

  That doesn’t help.

  “That card is supposed to be for emergencies only. Not for buying six-hundred-dollar dresses. And then there are two charges for something called Ding Dong Delivery?”

  I perk up. “Oh, well, actually that was an emergency. The food in the cafeteria at school was completely inedible, so I had to improvise.”

  Rebecca clearly isn’t convinced. She’s fuming. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Skylar, but I don’t like the person you’re becoming.”

  “Neither do I,” I mumble under my breath. And that’s the problem.

  “Excuse me?” Rebecca asks.

  “Nothing.” Geez, she’s really mad. Like even more mad than when Skylar ditched school to go to Burbank. Or maybe this is the same mad. It’s just been compounded on top of the other mad.

  “Mom,” I say, trying to smooth things over. I’m running out of time. I know how these mall signings work. She’s in, she signs, and she’s out. If I don’t get there in time, we’ll miss our window. “I’m really sorry about the dress. Look, I’ll return it when we get to the mall!” The idea is so inspired that I dash out of the room that instant and run to get the dress from Skylar’s room. “I still have the receipt!” I say when I return, holding up the piece of paper proudly.

  Rebecca lets out a scornful laugh as she collapses into her reading chair. “Oh, you’re returning the dress, all right.”

  I stare blankly at her. Why is she sitting down? We have to goooo.

  “Just not today,” she says. “There’s no way I’m taking you to the mall after this. There’s no way I’m rewarding you for this behavior. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re grounded, Skylar.”

  Ugh.

  Don’t these people have anything better to do than stand in line on a Sunday afternoon waiting to get a twelve-year-old’s autograph? This line is ridiculous. I’m sitting in the Carousel Court, next to the merry-go-round, and there are people lined up all the way around the courtyard, down the hallway, and out the door of the mall! I can’t see from here, but I think the line might wrap around the building.

  Ruby Rivera is just…a person.

  I admit that three days ago I totally would have been one of those people lined up, but not anymore. I am so done with Ruby Rivera.

  Being her.

  And obsessing over her.

  However, I will say it’s a good thing I spent that summer between fifth and sixth grades practicing her autograph over and over again. That’s really coming in handy today. By the one hundredth bright-eyed, toothy-smiled kid who comes through the line, I’ve practically become a professional autographer.

  Although my hand is starting to cramp.

  I kind of feel bad for the fans, though. Apart from the fact that they’ve been completely deluded into thinking Ruby is this amazing person—which she is not—they barely even get a chance to
talk to her (or, rather, me). There’s a mean man named Nolan from the Xoom! Channel whose sole job is to keep the line moving. Not to mention the three scary-looking security guards who are standing around me like they’re protecting a castle from invasion. What do they expect people to do? Storm the table with cannons?

  Lots of the fans want to take pictures with me, but mean Nolan won’t allow that. Although a few manage to snap some selfies while I’m signing. I barely have enough time to say hello to each fan as they come to the table. A Xoom! staff member slides a Ruby of the Lamp postcard in front of me, I sign it, another staff member hands it to the fan, and the process starts all over again. Look up, smile, look down, sign. Look up, smile, look down, sign. I feel like a robot on an assembly line.

  I take a quick break to massage my throbbing hand and check the time on my phone. The autographing session is almost over. Where is Ruby? I keep craning my neck to see if I can spot her in the line, but so far she’s nowhere to be seen.

  She better be here. This lamp is burning a hole in my bag. She better not decide she wants to hijack my life and continue to make horrible decisions on my behalf that she has no business making. Because two can play at that game. I’ll stand up in this chair and announce to everyone that Ruby and Ryder are now officially dating. I’ll agree to do ten more seasons of Ruby of the Lamp.

  “C’mon, Ruby,” Mean Nolan says. “We gotta keep this line moving.”

  I sigh, pick up my Sharpie again, and go back to work. But not before stealing one more glance at the hordes of people waiting for an autograph.

  And that’s when I see her.

  She’s standing toward the end of the line, holding shopping bags and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I blink hard, trying to refocus my eyes, because I’m dead certain all of this smiling and signing has done something to my vision and I’m not seeing correctly.

  But nope. There’s no mistaking. It’s her.

  Not Ruby.

  But Gabriella!

  I glance around to try to locate the two other Ellas, but they’re nowhere to be seen. Gabriella is here alone. It’s so strange seeing her by herself. Until now, I thought the three of them were physically attached to each other.

  What is she doing here?

  “Ruby?” I look up to see Nolan gesturing toward the postcard in front of me and I snap back to attention.

  “Oh, sorry.” I sign and then look up to smile at the next fan in line.

  With each postcard that passes across the table, I can see Gabriella moving closer and closer to the front of the line. My heart starts to pound and my palms start to sweat. Just like they always do when I’m around the Ellas.

  She’s here to make fun of me. I just know it. She knows I’m not really Ruby. She knows I’m Skylar and she’s here to crack one of her mean jokes that starts with, “No offense, but…”

  Relax, I tell myself. She doesn’t know.

  But what if she’s here to make fun of Ruby? What if she gets to the front of the line and then announces to the entire mall that Ruby’s music stinks and Ruby is totally lame and—

  “Oh my gosh! I’m so excited to meet you! I’ve been waiting for this day for months. Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it’s really you.” I startle at the sound of a high-pitched girl’s voice, and I look up to see Gabriella standing right in front of me, bouncing around like she has springs in her shoes. When our eyes meet, her face transforms into a huge beaming smile. Bigger than I’ve ever seen anyone smile. Definitely bigger than I’ve ever seen Gabriella smile. She always looks so miserable and depressed. Like someone has literally drawn frown lines on her face.

  “Hi!” she says to me, waving so wildly, I’m afraid her wrist might snap.

  “Uh…hi,” I manage to say, but for the most part, I’m utterly speechless. She doesn’t look anything like the girl from my school. In fact, she looks a lot like…

  Well, a lot like me. Skylar.

  Or, at least, how I used to be. Before I learned the truth about who Ruby Rivera really is.

  “Ruby,” Mean Nolan reminds me again. “Let’s keep it moving.”

  But I can’t. I’m sorry. This is too big a mystery not to be solved. “Hold on,” I tell Nolan, and glance back at Gabriella. She starts bouncing again.

  “So,” I say uneasily. “You’re a fan?”

  She nods way too many times. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m your biggest fan. I have both your albums and I know all the lyrics to all your songs and—”

  “My songs?” I confirm, still thinking this is a huge joke.

  She nods again. “Yes. My favorite is ‘Living Out Loud,’ and—”

  “That’s my favorite!” I exclaim before I can stop myself.

  And then Gabriella does the one thing I never in a million years thought I’d see an Ella do. She squeals. Like a chipmunk. “Really? We have the same favorite? That’s so cool!”

  What is happening right now?

  This is definitely not the same miserable girl who follows Daniella and Isabella around and parrots everything they say.

  “Ruby,” Nolan says, this time more sternly. But I’m barely even listening. I lean forward eagerly. “Do you watch the show?” I ask.

  She does a little dance. “Of course! I’ve seen every episode.”

  “What’s your favorite?”

  “Definitely season two, episode fourteen. It’s called…”

  “ ‘Bottle Shock’!” we both say at once, and then break out into giggles.

  “Oh my gosh!” she exclaims. “That part where you convinced Miles that you were trapped inside the body of the frog…”

  “And then he starts carrying the frog around in his pocket and talking to it and sleeping with it in a box next to his bed!”

  “That was the best. I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants!”

  “Me too!” I exclaim, and for a moment, I nearly forget who I am and who Gabriella thinks I am and how mad at Ruby I am. For a moment, I forget everything that’s happened in the past few days and I’m myself again. My old self. The one who used to curl up on the basement couch with Leah and watch old Ruby of the Lamp episodes until we fell asleep. The one who decorated her entire room with Ruby’s face. The one who would have done anything to be here today.

  But then I remember.

  Then it all comes flooding back to me. The shame I felt when I ran from the red carpet. The pure agony of picturing my mother out on a date with another man. The Photoshopped picture of me throwing up on a table not far from this very spot.

  A picture that Gabriella is partly responsible for.

  I clear my throat and bend my head to sign the postcard. “Thanks for coming,” I say politely as the staff member hands the postcard to Gabriella and Nolan gives her a gentle nudge.

  “Oh,” she says, her face visibly deflating. “Right. Okay. Thanks so much! It was so nice meeting you!” And then she’s ushered away.

  I sign a few more postcards, politely smiling at the fans as they’re herded past the table. The line is finally dying down, but there’s still no hint of Ruby. I’m beginning to lose hope. I’m beginning to think she changed her mind. I’m beginning to think I’ll be stuck in this life forever.

  And that’s when I hear the commotion coming from the mall entrance. My three security guards instantly perk up and one of them rushes toward the noise.

  “This is an emergency!” someone yells. “I have to see her! You have to let me through!”

  I instantly recognize the voice. After all, I’ve lived with it my entire life.

  Sneaking out of the house wasn’t easy. Rebecca was watching me like a hawk. Like she knew I would do it. I had to wait until she used the bathroom before I darted out the front door and ran through the entire housing complex to the road. I didn’t have time to take a public bus. I’d already Googled the bus route and it would have ta
ken me forty-five minutes to get to South Coast Plaza. I needed something faster and more direct. So I used Skylar’s credit card again to pay for a car service.

  I know, I know. It’s the very thing that got me grounded in the first place, but this time it really was an emergency. I’m sure if I had been able to explain it to Rebecca, she would have understood.

  I’m sorry, Rebecca. But I’m not really your daughter. I’m an imposter. Your real daughter is trapped in my body and I’m trapped in hers. So you see, it’s a bit of a messy situation.

  Yeah, that would have gone over really well.

  Well, whatever. Skylar can explain it however she wants when she gets back. It’s not my problem anymore.

  The driver got me here in record time. Now there’s only one thing that stands in the way of me getting my life back. And it’s a big thing. It’s a six-foot-five giant security guard who looks like he belongs outside a medieval castle instead of the entrance to a mall.

  “I’m sorry,” the hulking guard says, putting a massive hand on my shoulder. “The signing is over.”

  “No, you don’t understand. You have to let me through.”

  “I don’t have to do anything,” he says in a menacing tone.

  “Please!” I beg, “Ruby and I are friends. She’s expecting me.”

  He actually rolls his eyes at this. “Yeah, like I’ve never heard that before.”

  “But this time it’s true!”

  “Please remove yourself from the premises or I’ll do it for you.”

  My shoulders slouch. This is pointless. This muscle head is never going to let me through. For a moment, I consider dodging under his armpit and making a run for it. I’d probably be able to reach the signing table before they can catch me. But then I think about the last person who did that. The one who chased me around the food court, claiming to be my BFF. It didn’t end well for her.

  I’m just about to turn around and admit my defeat when I see someone out of the corner of my eye and my spirits lift.