Better You Than Me

by Jessica Brody

Mom doesn’t yell. She doesn’t rant. She doesn’t throw anything. She just listens to everything I have to say. About hating the show. About never wanting to be on TV in the first place. About wanting to go to school and learn things and go to college and learn more things. About being hungry all the time. About how this life was never my choice. It was hers. And I don’t want it anymore.

  “I’m done,” I tell her. I’m sobbing now, but I can’t stop talking. I have to get it all out. I can’t keep it inside any longer. “I’m sorry if that makes you sad. Or angry. Or disappointed in me. I’m sorry if that means we’ll have no money after this. Or if—”

  “Shhh.” Mom stops me, putting her arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to her. “Ruby. Ruby. Ruby.”

  My name—my real name—it sounds so melodic on her lips. It sounds like a song. A song I want to play on repeat for the rest of my life.

  “Don’t worry about any of that.” She chuckles. “You’re way too young to worry about money. That’s why you have me.”

  “But,” I begin to argue, thinking about the phone call I heard between Mom and our money manager, Peter, in my trailer. It was the whole reason I lost my nerve to tell her I wanted to quit.

  “What do you mean there’s not enough? I thought you said we were fine. I thought you said not to worry about it.”

  “What about that conversation you had with Peter?” I ask. “Didn’t he tell you there wasn’t enough money?”

  Mom’s brow furrows, like she’s trying to remember what I’m talking about. Then her eyes flash with recognition. “Oh! The call about the investors?”

  “Investors?” I ask, confused.

  “Peter has been working on getting some investors together to finance a hotel. We’re one of them. But he’s having trouble finding the rest.”

  My face pinches in confusion. “Huh?”

  Mom laughs and squeezes me tighter against her. “Ruby, this is adult stuff. Adult problems. You’re only twelve. You shouldn’t even be thinking about all of that. And trust me, money is the last thing we have to worry about.”

  “So…,” I say, trying to wrap my head around everything. “We’re not going to go broke if I quit the show?”

  Mom tips her head back and laughs. “Of course not. Do you think I’ve been squandering every penny you make? I always promised myself I would never let us be poor again. That’s why I hired Peter to help me make smart decisions. I’ve been saving. Investing. Making some really great choices. Just in case you decided you didn’t want to do this anymore.”

  I blink, unable to fathom what I’m hearing. “What?”

  Eva’s face softens. “Ruby, I thought you liked this life. I thought this is what you wanted. That’s why I’ve busted my butt for the past four years to make it happen for you. That’s why I’ve pushed you to wear the right clothes and look the right way and say the right things. Because I thought you loved this job. And I wanted to make sure you could do it for as long as you wanted. Because I wanted you to be happy. I never knew you were so miserable.”

  I bow my head, feeling foolish. She never knew because I never told her. I never told anyone. I just grinned and bore it. On every red carpet. In every photo shoot. In every costume fitting. In every recording session. On every stage.

  “If you hated it so much, why didn’t you just tell me?” she asks.

  I sniffle. “I guess I was afraid of how you would react.”

  Mom pulls back and looks me in the eye. And that’s when I see it. Something familiar. Something comforting and compassionate and loving.

  Something I’ve been searching for, for a long time.

  Maybe it’s always been there. Maybe I didn’t look close enough to see it. Or maybe she didn’t do her best to show it.

  Either way, now we both know it’s there.

  Three months later…

  “And, action!” I call out from behind the camera. I watch on the small viewfinder as the scene I wrote unfolds. It’s exactly how I scripted it.

  EXT. DESERTED WOODS—DAY

  Clarissa scurries out from behind a tree. She looks left, looks right, and then starts to dig. A moment later, she unearths a gorgeous sapphire RING. She holds it up to the light.

  CLARISSA

  Ah, yes. This will do very nicely.

  Just then, Hans and Theresa appear, startling Clarissa.

  HANS

  Okay, Clarissa. Game’s up.

  Hand it over.

  Clarissa slides the ring onto her finger.

  CLARISSA

  Never.

  THERESA

  Don’t make us take it from you.

  Clarissa starts to laugh. A dark, evil laugh.

  HANS

  What’s so funny?

  CLARISSA

  The fact that you think you can catch me.

  And then Clarissa is off, vanishing into the trees.

  “And, cut!” I call, glancing up from the viewfinder. “That was amazing!”

  Gabriella rushes over with her makeup bag. “I got chills!”

  I grin. “Me too!”

  We’re behind Fairview Middle School, where there’s a small patch of trees that we’re using as our “forest” set. We’re shooting my very first short film. I wrote it as my first project for the film club. As soon as Gabriella found out I was shooting it, she offered to be my makeup artist and hairstylist. She’s really good. She’s also surprisingly nice, now that she doesn’t hang out with the Ellas anymore. Actually, the Ellas aren’t really the Ellas anymore. Once Gabriella left, it didn’t really make sense for them to be called the Ellas any longer. Now they’re just Daniella and Isabella, two best friends who mostly keep to themselves. I think they lost some of their power when they lost their third member…and their cool name.

  Ethan also wanted to be in the movie. He’s playing Hans. My friend Leah is playing Theresa. She flew out from Amherst during Winter Break just to be in the film. When I told her I was making it, she said she wouldn’t miss starring in my debut for all the world. Ethan and Leah run over from the trees and peer over my shoulder.

  “Can you play it back?” Ethan asks.

  “Sure.” I tap the menu button on the new digital camera my dad bought me when I went home to Amherst for Thanksgiving. It shoots video and takes amazing photographs.

  The scene replays and I get chills all over again. When it’s finished, Ethan does a cute little fist pump. “Oh yeah. That was awesome. Up top!” He puts his hand up, and Gabriella, Leah, and I each give him a high five.

  I like Ethan. He’s funny and nice. And after Ruby told me he had a crush on me…well, at first I didn’t believe her, but then we started to hang out more. I’m not sure why I never really noticed him before. Maybe because I was too distracted worrying about the Ellas, I failed to see what was right in front of me.

  “C’mon, costar, you too,” Ethan says, turning toward the girl running over to us from the trees. He keeps his hand in the air, and Ruby comes up to high-five it.

  After much begging, she agreed to play Clarissa. I can’t wait to see the reaction of everyone at school when we premiere the movie and they all see I got Ruby Rivera to be in my first-ever film. Although it’ll be nothing compared to the reaction I got from Gabriella and Leah when they found out. I told them Ruby and I had met when I went on a tour of the Xoom! Studios lot, which isn’t technically a lie.

  Ruby turns to me. “So, director, how was it?”

  “Perfect!” I exclaim, bouncing on my toes. “Absolutely perfect! You’re such a star.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

  I throw my arm around her shoulders. “Thanks for coming out of retirement to be in my movie.”

  She grins back at me. “I wouldn’t have come out of retirement for anyone else. Not even Barry Barktas
tic Barkface.”

  “I know,” I say, giving her a mournful look. “I still can’t believe you won’t be on the show next season. It’s going to be so sad to watch.”

  Thankfully, since Ruby and her mother had never actually signed the new contract, Lesley was able to get her out of doing the fifth season of Ruby of the Lamp. Ruby told me all about it when we met for lunch in Beverly Hills a few weeks ago. Yes, I have lunch in Beverly Hills with Ruby Rivera now. That’s how cool I am. But in all seriousness, it turns out we actually have a lot in common. Something we never realized until we literally spent a few days in each other’s shoes.

  “It’ll be fine,” Ruby assures me for what must be the hundredth time. “The show will go on. Ryder will take over as lead, and they’ll cast some new up-and-coming tween actress to be his love interest.”

  “Poor girl,” I say, and Ruby and I both start laughing.

  “Look on the bright side,” Ruby says. “Soon you’ll have a brand-new face to decorate the walls of your room with.”

  I shake my head. I know she’s teasing me. The truth is, I took down all my Ruby Rivera decorations a few months ago. Now I’m having fun filling my walls with photographs I’ve taken with my new camera. Like of me and Gabriella hanging out at the mall, Leah in her first big drama club role, Ethan in his lacrosse uniform, and me and Dad with the massive Thanksgiving feast we cooked together.

  You know, stuff from my own life.

  After filming a few more scenes, we pack up the equipment and head back to the school. Eva is waiting for Ruby in her SUV out front. She’s become a lot more relaxed lately about Ruby’s life. Which is why she seems to be okay with Ruby hanging out with a regular girl from the suburbs like me.

  “Mom and I are going for Mexican,” Ruby tells me. “Want to come?”

  “Wait, you got your mom to eat Mexican food?”

  Ruby frowns. “Not really. She’s on something called the Baby Food Diet. She brings her own jars of baby food with her everywhere. It’s totally embarrassing. But at least she lets me eat whatever I want now.”

  I giggle at the thought of Eva eating out of tiny baby food jars.

  “So, are you in?” Ruby asks.

  I shake my head. “I can’t. Sorry. I’m late for script club with my mom.”

  Mom and I recently started our own version of a book club. Except instead of books, Mom brings home screenplays from the UC–Irvine film library. We read them together and then watch the movie and analyze the plot, the characters, even the set design! It’s really fun. We’ve done everything from classics to Pixar movies. Plus, it’s nice to have something that’s just ours. Mine and Mom’s.

  Even though I told her I didn’t mind, Mom decided not to continue to date Clint. She swears it’s not just for me, but for her, too. She says she’s not ready. She needs more time.

  I still have no idea what’s going to happen at the end of the school year. Maybe we’ll move back to Amherst. Maybe Mom will get a full-time job at UC–Irvine and we’ll stay here. Either way, I know it’ll all work out.

  “We should get together this weekend,” I suggest to Ruby.

  She nods. “Totally! But we’ll have to do Sunday. My mom has an audition on Saturday.”

  My mouth falls open. “She does? For what?”

  Ruby giggles. “The host for some new reality makeover show.”

  I burst out laughing. “She’d be perfect for that!”

  “I know, right? I really hope she gets it. It’ll give her something to do. Plus, I can do my homeschooling while she’s on set.”

  I bite my lip, trying to build up the courage to ask the question that’s been burning a hole in my mind for the past few months. “Do you think you’ll ever go back to acting? Some of those scripts I read in your mom’s office were actually pretty good.”

  Ruby glances up at the sky as if she’ll find the answer to my question there. Then she shrugs. “Maybe one day. But for now, I’m just really loving sleeping in.”

  I nod. “It is pretty nice.”

  “I feel like I have four years of sleep to make up for.” She laughs and then stops, an idea suddenly lighting up her face. “How about this? I’ll make you a deal.”

  I’m immediately suspicious. “This deal doesn’t happen to involve any magic lamps, does it?”

  She chuckles. “No! Here’s the deal: when you shoot your first full-length feature film, I promise to star in it.”

  A huge smile breaks onto my face. I thrust my hand out to Ruby. “Deal.”

  We shake hands, and I can feel the large sapphire ring still on her finger from the scene we just filmed.

  Then, a second later, the ground starts to tremble violently beneath our feet. I stare wide-eyed at Ruby. She stares wide-eyed back at me. And just as quickly as it started, the trembling stops.

  “Whoa,” Gabriella says, running up to us. “Did you feel that earthquake?”

  I quickly glance down at my hands, checking to make sure they’re still mine. I peer over at Ruby, who’s doing the exact same thing. I let out a sigh of relief.

  I’m still me. And she’s still her.

  “I think that was my very first earthquake,” I say.

  Gabriella laughs. “Pretty scary, huh?”

  Ruby and I share a look. And then, at the exact same moment, we both say, “You have no idea.”

  This book was so much fun to write, from the first page to the last. But like any book, it couldn’t have been done without the help of some tremendous people. Thank you to Wendy Loggia and Audrey Ingerson at Delacorte Press for falling for Ruby and Skylar as hard as I did and for your boundless editing wisdom. Thank you to Jim McCarthy for continuing to be the best agent a writer could ask for (and for coming up with the perfect title for this seemingly untitle-able book). Thank you again to Leslie Mechanic for creating, hands down, the cutest cover I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing my name on. And to Kathy Dunn and everyone at Delacorte/Random House Children’s Books for your amazing work getting my books into the hands of young readers.

  I interviewed a ton of middle schoolers during the process of brainstorming and writing this book. I was sworn to secrecy, but you know who you are. Thank you for sharing your secrets and experiences with me.

  As always, thanks to my family—Michael, Laura, Terra, and my brand-new brother-in-law, Pier. Welcome to this crazy family, fratello! And of course, my undying love and gratitude goes to Charlie, who never seems to tire of hearing about my endless plot problems. Or if he does, he’s a better actor than Ruby.

  But the biggest thanks always goes to my readers, especially the tweens. You have captured my heart with your enthusiasm, your letters, your Instagram photos, and your smiles. Just knowing you’re all out there, reading these words, makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. Remember, there’s no better you than you. Trust me.

  Jessica Brody is the author of Addie Bell’s Shortcut to Growing Up and many other books, including In Some Other Life, A Week of Mondays, 52 Reasons to Hate My Father, and the Descendants: School of Secrets series, based on the hit Disney Channel original movie, Descendants. She lives near Portland, Oregon, with her husband and three dogs. If Jessica could swap lives with any celebrity, it would be Taylor Swift.

  JessicaBrody.com

  facebook.com/​jessicabrodyfans

  instagram.com/​jessicabrody

  @JessicaBrody

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