Forbidden Craving

by Gena Showalter

  “You said...never mind.”

  What? “That I love you?”

  She nodded but didn’t look his way.

  And the emotion bothered her? “I vowed to always be honest with you.”

  “Yes, but... I feel like I need to protect you from yourself. Love feeds your soul to someone else.”

  “You’re wrong. Love feeds your soul. Period.”

  A tremor swept through her, and he pulled her against him. After a minute, she sighed and cuddled against him.

  Much better. They were both naked, and he was tempted to remain that way for the rest of eternity.

  He loved her, and he loved the way her curves fit against him. As if she were the last piece of a puzzle, and they were perfectly matched.

  “I’m being rude to my guests,” he said a little while later.

  She yawned. “What guests?” she asked, her breath fanning his chest.

  “Vampires. They helped us with the dragons and bought us a bit of a reprieve.”

  “Vampires.” She shuddered. “I should run screaming from this room, but I’m too tired to be afraid of bloodsuckers.”

  “No one will be sucking your blood but me.”

  She chuckled. “Do you regret being rude to them?” Her fingertip slid along the ridges of his stomach.

  “I’m with you. I regret nothing,” he said roughly, aroused by her touch and her words. She was adapting to life here. Maybe even coming to love it as he’d always craved.

  Her finger looped through his nipple ring, and she chuckled again. “Such a naughty boy. The bad boy mommas warn their daughters about.”

  He liked the sound of her laughter and realized he’d never really heard her amusement before. “How old are you?” he asked, wanting to know everything about her.

  “Twenty-five. Way too young for you.”

  He frowned.

  “Are you going to live forever? Do you never age?”

  “I age, just slower than humans.”

  Her entire body tensed. “Wait, wait, wait. I just had a thought. I’m going to grow old while you continue to look like that. No! Absolutely not!”

  “You are in Atlantis now, love. Your aging process will slow, as well.”

  “Oh.” Little by little, she relaxed. “That’s okay, then. Unless I still end up aging faster than you. The moment, the very second, I can pass as your mother, I’m out of here.”

  Too bad, so sad. I’m never letting you go. “Do you miss your surface life as intensely as you did before?”

  She released another sigh. “That’s a tough question to answer.”

  “Quite easy, actually. A yes or no is all that’s required.” He didn’t want her to miss her old life. He wanted her happy, completely, with him. If she did miss it...

  What would he do? His two greatest desires would be at war with each other—the desire to keep her with him and the desire to see to her happiness, always, no matter the cost to himself.

  “I’m not sure if I miss it or not. I mean, I’m not close to my family. I never have been, really, but closure would have been nice.”

  “Why exactly were you not close with them?” He couldn’t imagine such a thing with his brother if Verryn had lived.

  “They wanted me to be something I wasn’t,” she said.

  “What?”

  “Sweet.”

  He snorted. “You are sweet. You like to pretend otherwise, but you are most definitely the sweetest morsel I’ve ever sampled.”

  Shaye bit him on the shoulder and licked away the sting. “I think you see into my soul—the one you’re feeding whether you realize it or not. I think you see the woman I’ve always secretly wanted to be. Something my own mother hadn’t been able to do.”

  “How can your family not see how sweet you are? Well, it’s their shame, not yours.”

  She raised her head and cupped his cheeks with her palms. “Thank you for that.”

  Valerian’s chest tightened. This woman possessed his heart, and he wanted hers. He would fight for it. The greatest battle of his life. “Have you been able to make your anti-cards here?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you were to make one for me right now, what would it say?”

  “Well...let’s see.” She rested her head on his shoulder. A minute ticked by, then another. “Are you sure you want to know?”

  Yes. No. “Yes.”

  “If I were going to make and send you a card, it would say...” She paused, frowning as she drummed her fingers against his chest. “I’m trusting you not to break my heart. If it gets even a little scratch, I’ll break your face.”

  His lips twitched. “Break my face?”

  “That’s right. You heard me.”

  Break his face if he broke her heart... Her heart. Valerian stilled, the significance of what she’d said finally registering. Even his blood ceased flowing and breath froze in his lungs. A wave of dizziness hit him as one emotion after another crashed through him.

  “You are trusting me with your heart?” He was almost afraid to ask, and prayed he hadn’t misunderstood.

  He, a warrior who had laughed at danger his entire life, was afraid this tiny, pale woman wouldn’t love him the way he loved her.

  “Kind of,” she said. “I’m giving you a piece of it. Just a little piece. I mean, I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love with you or anything like that. You’re the only one who’s fallen into the deep end. Okay?” A layer of panic coated her words. “But I’m trusting you not to be with anyone else while we’re together. In case I wasn’t clear, that means no other women.”

  “Moon, I desire no other save you.”

  “Now you don’t. But what about later, when the novelty of me wears off?”

  As she spoke, he heard her vulnerability, and it unmanned him. He rolled her to her back to stare down at her. “You are my mate. I’ve told you that, but I don’t think you understand what it means. None arouse me anymore but you. None tempt me. None appeal to me. Only you. When a nymph takes a mate, that’s the way of it. Always. For the rest of his existence.”

  Her gaze softened, and he knew she wanted to believe him. “Yeah, well,” she said, putting on a brave face. “We’ll see what happens in the coming days.”

  “So you want to stay with me?”

  Radiating vulnerability, she whispered, “Yes.”

  Joy burst through him, full but not complete. Not yet. “You want to stay with me, but you don’t want to love me?”

  “Right. Love is complicated and messy.”

  “Is it? I love the way your nipples are pushing into my chest. That isn’t complicated.”

  Her lips pursed. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Loving someone gives them permission to do bad things to you because they know you’ll forgive them.”

  A pinprick of anger. “What kind of bad things have been done to you by those you loved?” The question emerged quietly, lethally.

  He would slay anyone, man or woman, who had dared hurt this woman.

  “I’ve been abandoned, rejected, dismissed and forgotten,” she said, and he tensed. “Plus, I saw the way you pushed aside the women who came before me.”

  “I didn’t expect you, Moon. You were a surprise. I cannot undo what I’ve done in the past. But you have my vow of honor that I’ll never tire of you. In time, you’ll realize this for yourself.” He paused, intent. “I know you said you would stay, but I’d like your vow. Promise me you will give me time to prove myself and my intentions toward you.”

  Her eyes searched his face, probing. Whatever she saw in his expression must have comforted her because she gave him a slow smile and nodded. “You have my vow.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief, his joy renewed.

  Then she added
, “If we’re going to do this—”

  “We are.”

  “You can’t watch me sleep.” She shuddered.

  “Why? You’re beautiful when you sleep. Or so I assume,” he hastily added.

  She rolled her eyes. “You’ve already done it, haven’t you?”

  “Only twelve times.”

  Only. “I’ve been here, what? Eight days. So you suck at math, but that’s hardly your fault. A man as gorgeous as you are can’t have brains, too.”

  He snorted.

  “Also,” she continued, “you can’t obsess over me. You can’t make all my troubles go away. You’ve got to let me get myself out of my own messes. You can’t throw jealous fits of rage, and you can’t ever, under any circumstances, call me your old lady, your ball and chain, or your property. I belong to myself. I’m loaning you my time.”

  “You. Are. Wonderful. Never change.” Leaning down, he brushed his lips over hers. His hands found hers, and he intertwined their fingers before anchoring them above her head. The action lifted her chest and pressed her breasts deeper into him. She licked her lips as her eyelids lowered.

  “While you’ve seen only the bad side of love, I have seen the best. My mother and father were mated and completely devoted to each other.”

  “Where are they, your parents?”

  “They died many years ago. My father died in battle and my mother’s sadness took her not long after.”

  “Wow. To be so devoted to someone you actually die without them, simply lose the will to live. It’s like something out of a movie, yet a part of me doesn’t want to acknowledge such devotion is possible. It frightens me...but it also excites me for the first time in forever.”

  He translated: hope was not lost.

  “I’m sorry about your parents,” she said softly.

  “Uh-oh. There you go, showing your sweet side again.”

  She grinned. “How dare you say such a thing? I’m hard-core!”

  “And you hate the things I do to you.”

  “Hate them,” she agreed with a laugh.

  His breath tunneled into her ear, followed by his tongue. Her hands tangled in his hair as she trembled.

  “Just like you hate me,” he breathed.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I hate you so very much.”

  “That’s good. Because I’m going to hate you until you can’t imagine life without me.”

  He thought she might have whispered, “Too late,” as he slid inside her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  LEAVING SHAYE ASLEEP in his bed—their bed, Valerian amended—was the hardest thing he’d ever done...while he was the hardest he’d ever been. He only wanted more! Her soft, pale tresses tapered over the violet sheets, as ethereal as a dream. Her features were relaxed, the sandy length of her lashes casting shadows over her cheekbones. Her lips were plump and rosy from his kisses.

  Will never get enough of this woman.

  He’d already dressed, had hastily tugged on a black shirt and pants before he’d lost his resolve to leave. As king, it was his duty to see to his guests. But more than that, he wanted to see to the palace’s defenses and ensure they were well fortified and strong enough to withstand the most violent of attacks.

  This peaceful reprieve the vampires had given them wouldn’t last long, he knew. Darius would be back. Valerian only hoped the dragon would arrive later rather than sooner. The longer he had to solidify his bond with Shaye, the better. She strengthened him in ways he’d never thought possible.

  He placed a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose—which proved to be a mistake. She muttered under her breath, an airy gurgle of unintelligible words, one of which might have been his name.

  Must have. Now, now—

  Leave. Safety first.

  Right. Valerian forced one foot in front of the other and finally exited the room. Now that Shaye had decided to stay with him, she would begin to make the palace her own, gifting every inch with little touches of her personality.

  He couldn’t wait!

  Would she fill the rooms with the colorful bouquets he planned to buy her? Hang her favorite paintings on the walls, select hand-carved furniture, add beaded pillows to the couches? He would take her into the Outer City and purchase everything she fancied. All the things humans used to make a home, well, a home. She would want for nothing, her every wish his to grant.

  His jaw hurt from grinning too wide as he entered the dining hall. Vampires surrounded the table. Most clutched goblets filled with some type of blood, he was sure. Several nymphs were here, though most were on duty and if not on duty, they were most assuredly having sex, preparing for battle. There were no females present.

  Layel, who had claimed the head of the table, spotted him and motioned him over.

  “Acting as king of the place, already?” Valerian said, his grin only widening. He plopped onto the now-vacant spot beside his friend.

  “Of course.” Layel sipped at his goblet. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked so sated, nymph.”

  “Mated life agrees with me, vampire.”

  A curtain of sadness flittered over Layel’s expression. “Ah, yes. I remember mated life very well.”

  Layel had lost his mate years ago. She’d been a human, descended from those first banished from the surface and dropped into the city as punishment.

  When other races had hunted those humans as sport, the nymphs stepped in and protected. Layel spotted her—Sara—and challenged Valerian for rights to her.

  They’d nearly killed each other, their strength evenly matched. But in the end, the girl had wished to go with Layel and Valerian had acquiesced.

  Soon afterward Layel had wed her, and soon after that, a rogue group of dragons had raided the village where she had been living, raped her and burned her to death.

  Not Darius—he’d been a child then—but a contingent of his tutor’s men. Still. It didn’t matter to Layel that Darius was innocent. The vampire king despised all dragons and would stop at nothing to destroy them all.

  Valerian recalled in vivid detail the devastation Layel had endured upon discovering his lover’s charred remains. His grief had been severe and gut-wrenching. Still was.

  The experience had changed him. From merciful to cold, kind to callous. A fact Valerian understood in a way he never had before. Were he to lose Shaye in such a manner...

  His hands fisted. I will never lose her.

  “The dragons have captured a group of nymph females,” Valerian said, “and that’s something I cannot allow to stand.”

  “It would be my pleasure to retrieve the females for you,” the vampire king said with relish.

  And risk his army over Valerian’s mistake? “No. I’ll send my own men and ask you to stay a while longer to make up for the loss here. If you are able.”

  Layel didn’t hesitate. “If you need us, we stay. That’s how this thing works between us. There’s nothing more to discuss.”

  Loyal Layel, always willing to give of himself and his valuable time. That was one of the many reasons Valerian prized his friendship. There were not many men who would fight for another race as passionately as they would fight for their own.

  Those who had earned the vampire king’s wrath, however, were enemies for life. Layel lived for their suffering. He never forgot a wrong.

  “Thank you, my friend.” Valerian clapped him on the back. “If you ever need me, I’m here.”

  Layel’s face was usually as pale as Shaye’s, yet a rush of color had suffused his cheeks. “You are cherished, Valerian. Know that.”

  “I say the same to you.” He stood. “Take what animals you need. But if your men have need of female companionship, which I’m sure they will, they’ll have to visit the Outer City. Those here are happy with their lovers.”
>
  Layel gave a booming laugh. “The dark seduction of a vampire could rival the creepy stalkering of a nymph, but we’ll do our best to hide our irresistible magnetism.”

  Valerian snorted. “Your ego is almost as big as your...humility.”

  Layel barked out a laugh. “That is it.”

  “We’ll talk again soon.” Valerian stood. “I must see to the palace’s defenses.”

  “Ha! I know you. You might see to the palace’s defenses, but your true goal is to get back to your bed.”

  He knew his grin came with a wicked glint. “Yes, you do know me well.”

  * * *

  WHISPERS DRIFTED THROUGH Shaye’s mind, attempting to rouse her.

  “—haven’t moved the humans to the dungeon.”

  “We arrived sooner than anticipated. We can’t wait. We’ll be spotted. We have to act now.”

  A hard, callused hand slapped over Shaye’s mouth. She came awake instantly, a scream lodged in her throat. A scream that emerged as nothing more substantial than a quiet murmur. The hand didn’t belong to Valerian. It smelled different, wasn’t as erotic and didn’t remind her a brewing storm. There wasn’t a single spark of awareness inside her.

  Vampire, perhaps? Valerian had mentioned the vampires were inside the palace. But why would an ally have snuck inside her bedroom?

  Panicked, she swung her fist—connected with something solid. Her captor grunted.

  “Not another move, woman. We don’t want to hurt you.”

  But they would if they felt they had to?

  Undeterred, she thrashed and kicked.

  “Why can’t you be a good girl and listen?”

  Oh, no, he didn’t!

  Her narrowed gaze darted throughout the darkness. What she wouldn’t have given for a flashlight. Scratch that. What she wouldn’t have given for a stun gun or a knife. With no other recourse, she wrapped her fingers around the thickness of the man’s wrist and jerked.

  He grunted. “If I must, I’ll render you unconscious, and neither of us will like the way I do it.”

  Dang him! A threat she couldn’t overlook. She forced herself to still. Unconscious, she would be completely vulnerable with no way to break free when the time arrived. And it would. She had to believe it would.