Forbidden Craving

by Gena Showalter

  “Ivy, this is my friend Tomas,” Adrian said, indicating the tough-looking Hispanic man with a scar curving from his neck down to his upper arm.

  “Hola,” I said, wishing I’d taken more than two years of Spanish in high school. Tomas accepted my outstretched hand, shaking it firmly.

  “Hola, senorita.” Then his stoic features cracked, and he flashed a wide smile at Adrian. “La rubia es caliente! Hora de que empieces a salir de nuevo, mi amigo.”

  “It’s not like that,” Adrian said in English, though I’d translated enough to get the misassumption. “Ivy and I aren’t dating. We’re...friends.”

  I stiffened at his pause. No, we weren’t besties, but did he have to make it obvious that I was an unwelcome acquaintance? Something reckless stirred in me. Adrian might not want me around, but he wanted some things from me. Plus, I might die before sundown and I wasn’t sure I’d really lived during the past twenty years. Time to change that.

  I gave Tomas a wide grin as I wrapped my arms around Adrian’s midsection.

  “Don’t mind him, he’s in denial over how crazy he is about me,” I said glibly. “You should’ve seen him rubbing my ass the other night. It’s like he was trying to polish it shiny.”

  Adrian gazed at me in disbelief. Tomas choked back a laugh, and the guy I hadn’t been introduced to yet let out a low chuckle.

  “Looks like you have more on your plate than just demons, Adrian,” he drawled, his accent sounding Mediterranean.

  Adrian’s hands flexed on my back, as though he was having trouble deciding whether to push me away or mold me closer. His gaze had changed, too. Disbelief turned to something darker and infinitely more enticing in those silvery sapphire depths.

  “You have no idea what you’re toying with,” he said, the growled words barely audible.

  “What if I want to know?” I replied, and shivered as his grip on me began to tighten.

  I’d started this as a game, but it felt very serious now. His stare burned into my eyes with more than the lust I’d called his bluff on. Secrets, promises and lies seemed to swirl together, drawing me in and warning me away at the same time. When he pulled me closer, those warnings collapsed under the explosion of sensation as he pressed against me, and when his hand coiled through my hair, pulling my head back with a strong, possessive grip, I didn’t just shiver. I shuddered.

  “Do you and your friend want to postpone our trip until tomorrow?” an amused voice asked.

  Adrian released me as suddenly as if I’d become scalding. Maybe I had. My whole body felt feverish, and if my heart beat any faster, I might be in danger of a coronary.

  “We’re leaving now,” he said in a strained voice. “Get in the black Jeep, Ivy. I’ll be right there.”

  I would’ve argued if I didn’t feel like I needed a moment to compose myself. I walked toward the black, open-topped Wrangler that had four machine guns in the back. No seats, though, and the front ones must be for Tomas and our as-yet-unnamed companion. Looked like Adrian and I would be standing.

  Adrian. The thought of how close he’d come to kissing me made that feverishness sweep through me again. Why did he keep pulling away at the last minute? Was it the secret he thought was too terrible to reveal? He wasn’t a demon or a minion, and he worked with an angel, so how bad could it be?

  Adrian’s arrival with the two men cut my musings short. He jumped into the back of the Wrangler, grasping the bar that the machine guns were strapped to.

  “This is Costa,” Adrian said, indicating the handsome young man with the wavy black hair and dark brown eyes. “Get in, Ivy.”

  I climbed into the back, accepting Adrian’s hand up. He held mine a second too long, as if reluctant to let me go. I felt the same way, though I grasped the metal railing between the seats when Adrian did. Was it me, or did something happen when we touched? Something more than lust, although I had that bad, too. Could this be the supernatural bond Demetrius had spoken of? If so, he was right. It was getting stronger.

  “Hi, Costa,” I said, trying to refocus my attention. “You mentioned demons, so I take it you know what we’ll be doing?”

  Costa snorted. “Yes, though I wish you didn’t have to. No one leaves the dark realms the same way they entered them.”

  Tomas gunned the Jeep, and bracing to stay upright made me almost miss the look on Adrian’s face. From the way his features tightened, Costa wasn’t referring to different exits. Adrian had told me the demon world was awful, as if I couldn’t figure that out for myself. From his expression and Costa’s words, maybe I hadn’t prepared enough. I drew in a deep breath. Think about Jasmine, I reminded myself. If she could survive being trapped in one, I could survive searching however many I needed to in order to save her.

  “I’m tougher than I look” was what I said.

  Adrian’s hand brushed my back, the brief caress wordlessly promising that I wasn’t doing this alone. Then he nodded at Costa, supporting my statement. I held on to that as tightly as I did the metal bar that kept me from being vaulted out of the car from Tomas’s crazy driving. Jasmine needed me, and Adrian believed in me. I wouldn’t fail either of them.

  I couldn’t.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  THE VORTEX WE were headed to was located in a section of desert called La Zona del Silencio, or the Zone of Silence. I found out why they called it that after Tomas turned off the highway and started driving on the barren terrain. After a hundred yards, the radio station he’d been blasting abruptly went silent. Costa held out his cell, showing me the screen going blank as though the phone had powered down on its own.

  “Technology doesn’t work here,” he stated. “Most people don’t know why, but it’s the vortex. It’s one of the bigger ones on the planet, so it drains everything around it.”

  Our surroundings reminded me of where Demetrius had attacked us. Like that sliver of Oregon desert, the endless landscape of sand was interrupted here and there by cacti and other scrub. It had more mountains, though, sometimes narrowing the path Tomas drove through. Every so often, Adrian would call out directions. He seemed to know exactly where he was despite the lack of roads or signs. I tried to pay attention to our route in case I needed to come back in the future, but after half an hour, I gave up. “Turn left at the rock” wouldn’t work because all the damn rocks looked the same, and once you’ve seen one cactus, you’ve seen them all.

  Finally, after my muscles ached from hours of the Jeep’s rough jostling, Adrian told Tomas to stop. Then he jumped out of the back, unloading his bulky duffel bag with him.

  “We’re here?” I looked around, squinting in the bright sunlight. “I don’t see any older, rotted versions of what’s around us.” Plus, the only landmark for miles seemed to be an oblong piece of rock sticking out of the ground.

  Adrian flashed me a challenging look. “You can sense hallowed ground. I can sense gateways to the dark worlds.”

  I jumped down, too. “How can you do that?”

  His smile was dangerous and beautiful, like the caress of sunshine right before it became a burn. “A gift of my lineage, same as your abilities.”

  Wasn’t that a not-so-subtle warning? If sensing demon realm gateways was one of his “gifts,” he was letting me know that he wasn’t the last descendant of Mother Teresa’s line. Still, why should his family tree weigh so heavily on him? Our previous conversation replayed in my mind. Did my ancestor do something terrible to your ancestor?... No, Ivy, it was the other way around...

  Did Adrian keep pushing me away because he felt guilty for what his ancestor had done? If so, could his big, awful secret actually not be about him, but about his long-dead relative?

  “I don’t know who my biological parents were,” I said in an even tone. “Or who their parents were, and so on. I do know it has no bearing on who I am, beyond genetic leftovers like hair col
or, eye color, and apparently, an ability to sense hallowed objects and see through supernatural glamour. Same goes for you. Regardless of who your ancestor was, your decisions make you who you are, and aside from being a dick sometimes, you can also be pretty great. Maybe, if you dropped whatever your ancient relative’s baggage is, you’d like who you were, too.”

  Adrian’s expression was as hard as the grayish rock behind him, but Tomas gave me a thumbs-up, and Costa started to smile. Guess I wasn’t the only person to think that Adrian’s biggest issue might be Crap Family syndrome.

  “I wish I believed you, Ivy,” he said roughly. “But believing you is part of the fate that I can’t allow to happen, for both our sakes.”

  Without waiting for me to respond, he opened the duffel bag and tossed a ski jacket, thermal pants and gloves at me.

  “Put these on.”

  I gestured at the scorched landscape, as if he hadn’t realized we were in the middle of a desert with high noon approaching. “Are you serious?”

  “These, too,” he said, adding a pair of fleece-lined boots to my pile.

  I gave him a level look. “Either you’re trying to kill me, or the realm we’re about to enter is really cold.”

  “They’re all cold,” Tomas said, accompanied by a grim snort of agreement from Costa.

  I was shocked. “You two have been in one?”

  “We were trapped and Adrian pulled us out,” Tomas said, only to be cut off by Adrian’s, “Now’s not the time.”

  I marched over to Adrian and jabbed my finger in his chest.

  “You told me there was no way to get Jasmine back without this mysterious weapon, but you got them out of a demon realm?”

  “Ivy,” he began.

  “Don’t! You said the only thing I could trust about you was your hatred of demons. If you want me to find that demon-killing weapon, you’re going to tell me right now why you could rescue Tomas and Costa, but you can’t help me save my sister yet!”

  I planted my feet, my glare promising that I wasn’t moving until I had an answer. Tomas and Costa looked uncomfortable, and Adrian looked angry enough to deck both of them, but all he did was let out a sharp sigh.

  “I wasn’t lying when I said we needed the weapon to save your sister. The only reason I was able to save them without it was because I took them with me when I left.”

  My scoff was instant. “A bunch of demons just let you waltz out of their realm with two of the humans they’d captured?”

  “Yes,” he said, his tone now flatter than a polished mirror. “I grew up in that realm, so they were used to me doing whatever I wanted in it.”

  I don’t know why the words hit me like a punch. Adrian had told me that Demetrius took him when he was a child. I guess I’d just assumed minions had raised him in this world, and Demetrius had...checked in on him frequently.

  “You were raised in a demon realm,” I said, my anger changing into something else. “And they trusted you, so you must’ve, um—”

  “Lived just like they did,” he supplied, an icy bleakness filling his tone. “Still think I’m pretty great?”

  I didn’t know what to think. Part of me was appalled and the other part was weeping. How old had Adrian been when Demetrius yanked him out of this world and raised him in a demon one? If he’d been very young, would he even have known that everything he saw—or did—was evil if it was all he’d ever seen of “normal”? Maybe finding out was what had made him switch sides and work with Zach. Maybe that was why he hated demons with such pathological single-mindedness now.

  And maybe his twisted upbringing, combined with whatever his ancestor had done, made Adrian feel like fate had doomed him. In some ways, I couldn’t blame him.

  “I still think you are what your decisions make you to be,” I said at last. “I also think if these guys made it out of a demon realm, then my sister can, too, so let’s do this.”

  With that, I pulled the ski jacket over my tank top, slipped the thermal pants over my shorts, replaced my sandals with the knee-high fuzzy boots and put on the gloves. Finally, I released my long brown hair from its ponytail. If it was cold enough to warrant ski wear, my ears would need the covering.

  All Adrian did was toss the now-empty duffel bag into the back of the Jeep.

  “You’re wearing that?” I said, gesturing to his long-sleeved T-shirt and regular jeans.

  A diffident shrug. “I’m used to the cold.”

  I left that alone, forcing a smile as I glanced at Tomas and Costa. “See you guys soon, hopefully.”

  I didn’t get a chance to hear their response. Adrian wrapped his arms around me, walked us rapidly toward the tall, oblong rock and then plunged us through it.

  * * *

  I’VE ALWAYS LOVED roller-coaster rides. The wild exhilaration of being propelled through turns and loops so fast that your face felt heavy and your body molded to your seat was second only to the rush of relief when the ride was over. Being transported through a gateway into a demon realm was sorta like that, only with a lot more noise and nausea. It took a few moments to settle my heaving stomach once we were on the other side, and during that time, I was grateful for the icy air. Then I opened my eyes and realized I still saw...nothing.

  “Adrian?” I said, panic setting in when rapid blinking didn’t make the blackness disappear. “Something’s wrong. I’m—”

  “You’re not blind,” he said, his deep voice almost as comforting as his hand closing over mine. “Sunlight doesn’t exist in demon realms. That’s why they’re so cold, too.”

  I’d never been in total darkness before. It wasn’t just frightening and disorienting—it was dangerous. For all I knew, we were standing on the edge of a cliff. Even if everything around us was flat, I couldn’t judge the length of my steps because I couldn’t see the ground. When I tried to walk, I ended up staggering.

  Adrian’s arm went around me, clasping my left side to his right one.

  “Close your eyes and concentrate on moving with me,” he said, the confidence in his tone easing my fears. “Don’t worry. I can see where we’re going, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  We began to walk, first in hesitant steps while I learned to trust the feel of his body instead of my sight, and then at a normal pace. Surprisingly, it did help to keep my eyes closed. Since I wasn’t trying to see, I focused on his smooth strides, the flexing muscles that preceded a change in his direction, and the reassuring way he instantly adjusted his hold to support me if I faltered.

  It didn’t take me long to be grateful for the parka, boots, gloves and pants, too. Even with them on, the cold seemed to seep into my bones, but just like the darkness, it didn’t appear to bother Adrian. He didn’t so much as shiver in his light clothing, and his hand felt warm in mine. How many years had it taken for him to adapt to this dark, frigid wasteland? Once more, my heart broke for the child he’d been. Even without demons, growing up in a place like this would have been awful.

  After what felt like an hour, Adrian paused. I did, too, of course, sniffing at the new, fuel-like smell in the air.

  “You can open your eyes,” he said. “The town’s up ahead.”

  At first all I saw was a black-and-gold spotted blur. After a few blinks, my eyes adjusted, and I made out a blaze of light in the distance, showing lots of smaller structures surrounding what looked like a wide, soaring building.

  “Thank God,” I breathed, so glad to be able to see that I didn’t care if I was looking at a demon town.

  “Don’t say that. It’s a real giveaway that we don’t belong.”

  Adrian’s face was hidden by darkness, yet his tone made me imagine that he said it with one of his wry smiles.

  “Good point, but aren’t we avoiding the town?” I asked, whispering in case someone was out in the blackness with us.
>
  “Can’t. What’s known of the weapon’s location is that it was hidden in a wall, and the only walls are in town.”

  “Is that all we know, or do the demons know exactly where it is?”

  He snorted. “No. If they did, they would’ve used it for themselves a long time ago.”

  “Why didn’t the demon that hid it do that?”

  Adrian paused, seeming to choose his words, which meant I’d just be getting part of the truth again. “As it turns out, only a few people can activate the weapon’s true power. Minions can’t, and neither can the average demon. Zach said that the demon who hid it was on his way to tell a more powerful demon about it when Zach killed him.”

  “Wait. You said demons could only be killed with the weapon Zach didn’t have,” I emphasized.

  A shrug I felt but couldn’t see. “Archons don’t need it to kill demons, and other demons don’t need it to kill their own. The rest of us do, which includes you and me.”

  Figures. “Couldn’t Zach have gotten its location before he silenced its hider forever?”

  Another pause, longer this time. My temper flared. “Could you for once just answer me with the whole truth?”

  “Fine.” His tone thickened. “For all I know, Zach did find out where the weapon was. Even if he didn’t, his boss knows, yet here we are. Know why? Because neither of them really cares if we live or die trying to find it.”

  His brutal analysis stunned me. “But that’s...they’re...they’re on the good side,” I sputtered.

  His laughter was like glass grinding together. “They win or lose this war, Ivy. Not us. We can only depend on each other, because to Archons and demons, we’re just pawns that they move around for their own purposes.”

  “But Zach’s your friend,” I argued softly.

  “You don’t understand Archons. They’re not fluffy beings sprinkling supernatural happy dust everywhere they go. They’re soldiers who’ve been relegated to the sidelines until the pesky issue of humanity has been settled. Frankly, I think Zach’s reached the point where he doesn’t care what happens to our race, as long as he finally gets to fight.”