Whole Lotta Heart: Rock Star Hearts - Book #4

by Amity Cross

  Stewie nodded. “I know. We’ve had a lot of big-name bands through these studios and some are more talked about than others. Beneath always had this uncanny way of making headlines wherever they went. I suppose it was inevitable you’d make them too by association.”

  “I’d like to know the trick of dealing with it,” I stated. “If there’s a secret you’re hiding, now’s the time to impart your wisdom.”

  He laughed and raked his hand through his hair. “I reckon the trick is to know how to turn the talk in your favour.”

  “Wise,” I drawled.

  “I’ve been known to try. Here, have a listen to this.” He put his headphones over my ears and tapped the right side. “They’re wireless, so all you have to do is press the middle button.” He took my hand and guided me to the right spot. “Right here…”

  Music flooded through the speakers and into my ears and I let the sound wash over me. It was melodic rock song, with harsh guitars and raspy vocals. I couldn’t make out all the lyrics, but it sounded like a wild story.

  “What is it?” I asked, glancing at Stewie.

  “It’s a track I’ve been working on. Something I wrote myself.”

  “Really? I didn’t know you wrote as well as produced.”

  “Most people do both,” he said with a grin. “After the other day, I was thinking about your charity and thought we could team up and do an album to raise some coin. I’d really like to put a song on there.”

  I smirked and shook my head. “Is this your big break?”

  Stewie shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind being involved in something produced by one of the biggest names in rock.”

  I chuckled and handed him back the headphones. “It sounds great. You should show it to Sebastian. He’s the other half of the charity-slash-studio.”

  He grunted.

  “What?”

  “Sebastian Hale?” he asked, his gaze raking over me. “Really?”

  My smile began to fade. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “How does a guy like him get a girl like you?” He grasped my hand and studied the ring on my finger. “What hope is there for the rest of us?”

  “Stewie…” I shrank back, but his grip tightened.

  Before I could extract myself from his grasp, he twisted around and pushed me back onto the couch, his mouth covering mine. I tore my face away, panic rising hot and hard. After all that shit I’d said about women’s fucking rights.

  “No,” I exclaimed, pushing at him. “Stewie, no. I’m with Sebastian. I—”

  “He isn’t here,” he murmured, tugging at my top. “No one will know.”

  “I don’t want this.”

  He tried to kiss me again, and that’s when the door burst open.

  “Motherfucker!” Sebastian’s roar tore through the studio as he dragged Stewie off me.

  I gasped as his hand pushed against my stomach, causing pain to tear through my scar.

  Sebastian didn’t notice. He shoved Stewie against the wall and drew his fist back, but I was on my feet in an instant.

  “Don’t!” I exclaimed, pulling at his arms. “If you hit him, he’ll sue the shit out of you.”

  Stewie smirked and held out his arms. “You wouldn’t risk another lawsuit, would you? Not over a bit of pussy.”

  Sebastian tensed, his muscles coiled to lunge, but I wouldn’t let him go.

  “Don’t.”

  “She paid you, didn’t she?” Sebastian demanded.

  Stewie smirked and straightened his T-shirt. “Get the fuck out of my studio before I call the cops.” His gaze flickered to mine and he added, “Any time you wanna fuck, just call me.”

  Sebastian let out another roar and I shoved between the two men.

  “He’s baiting you,” I declared. “Let’s just go.”

  Sebastian snarled at Stewie one more time before he grasped my hand and dragged me from the studio. Out in the hall, he let me go and tore down the framed photograph of Beneath and smashed it against the wall. The glass shattered, and he pulled out the print and ripped it in two.

  “I didn’t ask for it,” I said, tugging at his arm. “He forced himself on me, Sebastian. He was—”

  “I know,” he shot back. “I know you wouldn’t do that. It was her. Fucking Mallory. She got into my head.”

  I frowned, glancing back at the studio where Stewie still lingered. Sebastian kept saying he was fine, but I’d never seen him react so fiercely before. Since the attack, he’d been fighting some internal battle I wasn’t sure he knew he was facing, and now Mallory seemed to be sending him off the deep end. All this time I’d been worried about my reaction to losing our baby, when I should’ve been worried about Sebastian’s.

  But… was this really about Mallory, or did she just happen to know the right buttons to press?

  “Was it Mallory, or was it the press?” I asked.

  “What?” he demanded.

  “It’s about the baby, isn’t it? It’s always been about my reaction.” And Mallory somehow found out and capitalised on it.

  His lips thinned, and I knew.

  “I can’t change the way I feel!” I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice down. “I didn’t want it, is that what you want to hear? I wasn’t ready, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t love it!”

  “No,” he said, the storm in his eyes raging like I’d never seen before. “I didn’t want it.”

  I froze.

  Sebastian tore at the photo, letting out another roar of anger. Tossing the pieces onto the floor, he stormed out of the studio, pushing through reception.

  I just stood there, stuck, not knowing what to do.

  “Juniper?” Statfield appeared, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

  “I, ah…” I pressed my palm against my stomach and shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

  His frown deepened, but he didn’t ask any questions. “Let me take you home.”

  I nodded, allowing him to guide me out of Haze Studios and into the car.

  When we got back to the McMansion, I waited for Sebastian to come home. I curled up on the couch with Ziggy, listening to the silence. The sun went down, the moon rose, and the night wore on.

  But Sebastian never came home.

  18

  Juniper

  When Sebastian was still missing the next morning, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d vanished in the middle of the night. That’s how we’d met, after all. He’d had enough of the fake world Vix had forced him into, and it broke him enough that he had to get away. This time, it seemed to be much worse.

  What if he wasn’t coming back? What if our love wasn’t enough? The thought of losing Sebastian to the darkness inside him—and to Mallory’s manipulations—was too much to handle on my own.

  I called Josh first.

  “Juni,” he said, his voice husky with sleep. “What are you doing calling at this hour?”

  “It’s nine a.m. on a Thursday,” I declared. “Sebastian’s missing.”

  There was a rustling sound on the other end. “Huh?”

  “We had a huge argument at Haze yesterday after Stewie tried to force himself on me, and he never came home. I’m worried.”

  “Wait… What’s this about Stewie? He tried to—”

  I told him everything, and I meant everything. About Mallory, how Sebastian had accused Stewie of being paid to seduce me—if you could call it that—and the moment where he’d admitted he didn’t want the baby.

  “He’s been holding onto that guilt all this time,” I murmured. “And Mallory knew exactly how to make him break. She’s winning, Josh, and now—”

  “We’re not gonna lose him,” he stated. “That bitch isn’t going to win.”

  “What if he’s disappeared again?”

  “He’d never leave you, Juni. I’ve known Seb a long time, and he’s never loved anyone like he loves you.” He cursed. “I sound like a bloody grown-up.”

  “Josh.”r />
  “All right, here’s what we’re going to do.”

  After giving me a pep talk, he hung up, promising to call Nate so they could go look for Sebastian. I was going to get a hold of Damon, and through him, I was going to find a way to end Mallory once and for all. Now was not the time to wallow in the shards of my broken heart. It was time to fight.

  First, I needed to see Victoria.

  Damon told me she was staying at a hotel in the city because she hated his farm, and I got Statfield to drive me.

  When we arrived, I asked the concierge to call up to her room. I hoped she was still there and hadn’t taken off when her brother called to tell her I was coming. Given everything that’d happened in the last week, I wouldn’t blame her, but the timing would really suck.

  “Miss Whittaker asked me to send you up to her room,” the concierge said. “The elevators require keycard access, so please allow me to show you the way.” He gestured towards the rear of the lobby.

  We rode up to the fifteenth floor in silence, the concierge looking sideways at Statfield with interest. The bodyguard had that look about him that screamed ‘don’t mess with me,’ and I was never surprised by the stares other men gave him. Women, on the other hand…

  The elevator dinged and the doors swished open. The concierge hung back, pointing us in the right direction. Once we’d found Victoria’s room, I knocked sharply.

  She answered the door right away.

  It’d been a while since I’d seen her face to face, but her image was currently plastered over billboards, magazines, and shop fronts all across the city, so it was hard to forget what she looked like. Her raven locks fell halfway down her back, and her ivory skin was perfection. Victoria Whittaker was born to be a model and a role model for others in the fashion industry, but right now, she looked beaten.

  She stepped back, allowing me to enter, her gaze flickering to Statfield.

  “I’ll wait in the hall,” he said to me.

  I nodded and moved farther into the room.

  The door closed behind us and Victoria busied herself, clearing the armchairs beside the windows. Clothes had been draped over both seats, and I got the feeling she was just as messy as Damon was. His dressing rooms always looked like a bomb had gone off inside them, much like the scene around me.

  As soon as she was done, she gestured for me to sit, and took the chair opposite.

  “I’m sorry about what happened to you,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Shitty,” I replied, taking her by surprise. Everyone always expected people to answer with ‘I’m fine’ so they didn’t have to deal with the heavy stuff.

  “Oh, I—” She didn’t know how to answer, so I came out with it.

  “I was attacked in my own home and almost died, and now your best friend is hellbent on destroying my last shred of happiness. Oh, and she’s trying her darnedest to send Sebastian off the deep end.”

  Victoria’s hands were shaking. “And you want my help.”

  “I’m tired, Victoria. I’m so fucking over it. Help me understand.” I rubbed my palm over the shaved side of my head, my fingers grazing the scar that curved around my skull. “Why?”

  “It’s a long story,” she muttered, obviously embarrassed.

  “I’ve got the time if helps me find a way to end this once and for all.”

  “Okay…” Victoria swallowed hard. “Our friendship has always been fucked-up. Actually, frenemies would be a better way to describe it. We’d be stabbing each other in the back while smiling to each other’s faces, you know?”

  “All this because Sebastian didn’t return your feelings? You were jealous of Mallory, even though their relationship was fake.”

  Her cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson, but she didn’t stop. “It started out like that, but after a while, it became about the way Mallory had been treating me. I was just as bad as she was, and I’m mortified I acted that way. After you were attacked, I realised how awful I’d been to you. I tried to use you to get to Mallory, hoping your hatred of her would win you over to my side, but you were the better person.” I’d taken the USB and dumped it in Mallory’s hand, hoping she’d take the higher road. We all knew how that turned out. “I’m not proud of what I’ve done. It makes me feel sick. When I saw him with you back on the US tour, I could see how much he was in love with you. It was then I realised he couldn’t help his feelings, and I let go of the last of my resentment.”

  I remembered Damon had said she’d wanted to see me after the attack, but he’d told her to stay away. Thinking about Annalise, I wondered if I should’ve tried harder to reach out to Victoria. She’d needed help and I wanted to wash my hands of the whole thing.

  “Mallory tried to convince me to join her in destroying you and Sebastian,” Victoria admitted, her fingers worrying the hem of her blouse. “That was after Vix got arrested, while you were still in the hospital. The man treated us like trash, she said. But I didn’t want to, I knew it’d gone too far, so I turned my back on all of it. I couldn’t forget all the things she’d done to me and all the things you’d said. About how I was successful in my own right, and how I could be better if I chose to.”

  How had she let it go on for so long? It was then I realised just how ingrained she’d been in Mallory’s ‘squad’.

  “You were scared,” I stated.

  She nodded, a tear slipping from her eye. “I was scared of being alone. Without Mallory, I would’ve been nothing.”

  “But you’re not,” I argued. “Your career—”

  “It wasn’t about my career. It was about being wanted.” She shrugged. “How stupid is that?”

  “It’s not stupid.”

  “I was blinded by my rivalry with her and it just… got out of hand.”

  I snorted. “I’ll say. You’ve just got to look at the Stargazers website.”

  To my surprise, Victoria leaned forward and grasped my hands in hers. “Juniper, it’s her favourite tactic. It’s happened to me before. She’ll flash around a little money, make a few threats, and because she is who she is… I’m sorry.”

  Sebastian was right. Hell, everyone was right. Mallory had been leaking stories to the press—she’d paid off Stewie, and likely someone at the hospital to get my medical records, all in an attempt to destroy me and Sebastian. She was using other people to do her dirty work so her hands would be clean.

  “We have to put a stop to this,” I said, “the right way. We can all be better people, Victoria. We can all learn from our mistakes and turn it around, we’ve just got to believe we can. That’s the first step. Then, we’ve got to live it.”

  “You keep saying that to me.”

  “Because I believe in you.”

  Victoria snorted. “And Mallory?”

  “I tried,” I replied with a shrug. “I tried that night at the after-party. I tried when she came to see me after the attack. I tried to convince her, but she never wanted to listen. She took my words and twisted them back on me.” I sighed, my heart heavy. “I hate saying it, but some people can’t be redeemed.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know, but for now, I’ve just got to find Sebastian.”

  She frowned. “Wait, you don’t know where he is?”

  My heart skipped a beat and I narrowed my eyes. “Do you?”

  Victoria squirmed and lowered her gaze. After everything we’d just said, she was still holding out?

  “If you know something, you need to tell me,” I urged. “Now’s your chance to turn it around, Victoria.”

  “I… He already came to see me,” she said, her cheeks flushing, “last night.”

  “Last night?” My heart twisted.

  “Not like that,” she said in a rush. “But I think he’s going to make a big mistake.”

  Oh, fuck… “Victoria, what did you do?”

  “I gave him everything I had on Mallory.”

  19

  Juniper

  Now I knew, I’d rat
her die than give up on love.

  There weren’t many places a world-famous rock star could go without getting recognised, so I enlisted Vanessa’s help in keeping an eye on social media and all the tabloids. Gossip was her fortè, after all, and if he was going to leak anything about Mallory, we’d know it the second it hit the airwaves.

  Josh, Damon, and Nate were looking everywhere they thought he could’ve gone and calling everyone else—from Sydney to Melbourne, and everywhere in between.

  Even Statfield was helping Farmer do some kind of black ops shit—I didn’t even know what that entailed—but they seemed confident about tracking his electronic footprint.

  Everyone was looking, and I was at a loss. I didn’t know this city, I didn’t know any of Sebastian’s other friends, and I didn’t know where to look. Our romance had been a whirlwind of passion, a storm that had raged hard and fast. We’d been in each other’s lives for less than a year, but a moment was all it took. We loved one another, but in this moment, I was useless.

  The world knew him as this rebellious bad boy of rock, wild and unpredictable, and as a sex symbol—but that wasn’t who he was at his core. Sebastian Hale was a tortured soul who’d been through a lot in his life. He cared, a little too much sometimes, and he felt things on a level I wasn’t sure even he understood.

  He’d watched his mum face the abuse of his father and stood up to him when he was old enough, he’d cared for her when she was sick, he lived through her death, and fought for a better life. He’d shouldered all that responsibility, but it hadn’t stopped there. Sebastian wanted to protect everyone in his life at his own expense. He wanted to fix everything and make the world happy. It was his blessing… and his curse.

  There had to be a moment where it all broke under the pressure. Now, I knew his trigger was the moment he almost lost me… and it’d snowballed from there. He was powerless to save me and our unborn child.