The Shoma

by Lola St. Vil

  The entire crowd waits for Jackson’s reply.

  “She was just a Quo, it could never be more than a casual thing with us. And even if she wasn’t Quo, she’s a little you know…unbalanced. Like most girls.” Jackson says.

  Okay, now I want to slap him; hard.

  “She was unbalanced, do tell.” Troubles pushes.

  The crowd begins to whisper. You can see the judgment on their faces. They’re starting to wonder if Bianca is really as together as she made them believe. The more Jackson talked, the more interested the crowd becomes.

  “Jackson, let’s go.” I tells him.

  “Not yet honey, I’m not done,” he says under his breath.

  “So in what way is she unbalanced?” Trouble pushes.

  “When I dropped her, she tried to kill herself.”

  Bianca tackles Jackson to the ground causing the shadow servants near by to lose their balance and crash into each other. The food goes flying everywhere and countless glass bottles are catapulted into the chandelier, causing it to rain down Coy.

  Meanwhile, Bianca pounds her fist into Jackson’s face with ire. Jackson could easily throw her off of him, but I think he’s too shocked to even register what is happening. In fact, for the first few moments the crowd, also in shock, just stands by and watches.

  Finally, a group of Angels pulls Bianca off of Jackson. Her hair is disheveled and her dress is torn. There’s wildness in her eyes that make her dangerous and unpredictable.

  But underneath that is a sadness and misery, as she looks down at the man she once loved.

  “Bianca, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was gonna—” I start to explain, but she cuts me off with a deadly glare. When she speaks her voice is calm, but the venom in her words is undeniable.

  “Before, you were a fly in the room; to be swatted away and ignored. But now, I will give you my undivided attention…”

  Bianca leaves shortly afterwards without saying a word to anyone. The Sapphire Ball is officially over. I look around and find Jackson holding court on the other side of the room with whoever is willing to listen to him.

  Everyone on the team is helping clean up the wreckage. The team looks at me with stern disapproval. Then I hear his voice. He calls my name softly, but there is no mistaking the rage behind the words.

  “Emmy, outside. Now!” Marcus orders.

  Before I leave, Jay throws his jacket over my shoulders to cover me up. I thank him and follow Marcus outside. Unfortunately, the crowd has not died down yet. Everyone is still lingering in the streets talking about the fight, my dress and Bianca’s suicide attempt.

  Marcus starts walking down the block with his hands in his pocket. He doesn’t say a word as I walk beside him, but I can feel the anger bouncing off of him. When we are far enough away from the crowd, we duck into an alley. Marcus doesn’t say a word for several minutes.

  He doesn’t even pace like he normally does when he’s upset. He just clenches his jaw and shakes his head slightly as if he’s having an internal conversation. The tension and silent rage that’s coursing through him somehow takes up all the air between us. Of all the time that I have known Marcus, he has never been this livid with me; ever.

  “Hey um…I know you’re mad, but can you just…say something, please?” I ask carefully.

  “Give me something to go on,” he says.

  “I don’t understand,” I confess.

  “TELL ME SOMETHING TO EXPLIAN WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST DID IN THERE!”

  “Marcus I—”

  “—You demolished that girl!”

  “I didn’t know that Jackson was gonna say that. The plan was just to embarrass her a little.” I reply.

  “Oh really, okay tell me more about this plan of yours.” He challenges.

  “Look I admit things got a little out of hand,”

  “‘A little out of hand’? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!”

  “I know, I screwed up. But I didn’t know this would happen.”

  “You trusted a total stranger. You sought out Jackson and used him to rip that girl in two.”

  “I never knew about her trying to commit suicide. I’m not capable of doing something that cruel. You know me.”

  “Do I?”

  “Marcus, how could you question me about something like that?”

  “How could I question you? Here’s how Emmy. It looks like the past few weeks you’ve been lying to me. Is that not the case?”

  “Look I know—”

  “—Yes or no; Have you been lying to me?” He barks.

  “Yes.”

  “And when I begged you to come to the Ball and you said you were staying home that was a lie too.”

  “Yes.”

  “Also I’m guessing Tony helped you pull this off; so when I asked you what you and he were up to and you said ‘nothing’, that was yet another lie, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “A few weeks ago, after we made love and you said you would never forgive me if I broke your heart again. I vowed that I was going to love you and try like hell not to hurt you. Do you remember that?”

  “I do.”

  “You made me promise to tell you the truth no matter what. Do you recall that conversation?”

  “I really—”

  “—Yes or no?” Marcus snaps.

  “Yes.”

  “And the whole time you were planning this?”

  “I was.”

  “Wow…” He shakes his head in disbelief.

  “Baby, I know you’re mad at me, but—”

  “—Mad? Yeah, I’m mad, but that’s gonna go away. What’s going to linger is…I’m so disappointed in you.”

  It would have been better if he had slapped me hard across the face. That would have hurt less. His words cut into me and force my head to hang low.

  “Okay, I guess I handled things badly. But you know what Marcus, nothing I’ve done will compare to what Bianca’s gotten away with. She is a deceitful, conniving, poisonous bitch. But nothing she does makes you take her aside and yell at her; and make her feel like shit.”

  “Why would I yell at Bianca? You’re the one I expect better from, not her.”

  “Fine, say what you want, but while I didn’t plan for things to go the way they did, part of me is glad Bianca finally got what was coming to her.” I confess.

  “Does Bianca deserve to be humiliated and have her reputation destroyed in front of the entire Angel world? Absolutely, but doing that won’t change who she is; the only thing it does is change who you are.”

  I feel a cold wind zip through my body. I place my hand inside Jay’s jacket and wrap it around me. I don’t think the cold is the reason for the chill inside me though. I think it may be Marcus’s words that are causing me to shiver.

  I walked over to an abandoned box containing old degraded tattered books and newspapers. I sit down on top of it and stare at the ground, miserable.

  “Bianca just…she enjoys hurting people. She comes after me over and over again. I knew it was to set her up, but I love knowing the she was going to get hurt. I know that’s wrong to say, but Marcus, I did. I enjoyed knowing she was going to suffer.”

  He comes over and kneels down in front of me.

  “I know it’s next to impossible to deal with Bianca and not want to retaliate, but Bianca has nothing to lose. You have your humanity and that is everything. You cannot allow her to take it away because there is no getting it back,” he warns me.

  “I’m sorry I disappointed you.” I say, touching his perfect face.

  “I’ve disappointed you more often than not so…”

  “I don’t wanna keep score.”

  “Me neither.” He agrees.

  “Hey, do you like my dress?” I ask.

  “I don’t think it’s fair for me to judge the dress until we locate the rest of it,” he jokes.

  I laugh despite myself and put my hands inside Jay’s jacket pocket to stay warm. That’s when I feel around and find his phone.
I find an Internet radio station of Jay’s cell and I put the volume up as high as it will go.

  “May I have this dance?” I ask as I stand up.

  “Here in an alley?”

  “Well, alleys are like home now. So…why not.” I reply.

  He shrugs, gets up and takes my hand. We begin to sway to the soft melody flowing from Jay’s cell phone.

  “Baby, I know we have a lot we need to work on, but don’t let the darkness get you. There’s no coming back once it does,” he warns me.

  “Okay.” I reply simply.

  “Is there anything else that you’re thinking of doing out of revenge? Anyone else on your list?” Marcus says, partly joking.

  I don’t answer.

  “Emmy?”

  “Huh?”

  “Is there anyone else on your list?”

  My father…

  “No.” I reply.

  “Good.” He says as he pulls me closer and breathes a sigh of relief…

  CHAPTER TWENTY‐NINE:

  THIS TIME

  A little while later, Marcus and I are back at my apartment. He looks down at the bed and then up at me. He thinks I’m crazy, but I don’t care. He asked me what I wanted to do and this is what I want to do.

  “So we’re doing this right here on your bed?” he says.

  “Yup, that’s where I’ve been dreaming it would happen.” I reply.

  “Okay, if that’s what you really want…”

  Then with no further warning, we throw ourselves onto my bed and I pull out my tablet. He starts laughing at me. He didn’t think I was serious when I said all I wanted to do tonight was beat him at “Candy Crush”.

  We play for over an hour. We splurge and buy a ton of extra lives online. Marcus is actually very good at this game; he’s ahead of me. While we play he recounts playing games with his family. I tell him about the time my mom and I had a heated game of Scrabble; things got so bad, board games were prohibited in the Baxter household.

  I know it seems silly, but just lying in bed with him, playing a game is wonderful. It’s so rare we get to be normal and hang out. I know we still have two more Alphas to find, but until Raphael calls us, we might as well just relax.

  “I’ve missed you.” I say coyly.

  “I haven’t gone anywhere,” he remarks, confused.

  “I know, but it’s different when we’re on a mission; you’re different.”

  “How so?” he asks.

  “You know, you're all “First-Guardian” and giving orders,” I reply.

  “Is that guy hard to love?”

  “No, but I wish I could take some of the weight off of him sometimes,” I reply brushing his hair gently.

  He kisses the palm of my hand. And tells me I’ve helped him enormously, just by being around him.

  “I’m really sorry about the Alex thing,” I tell him.

  “Let’s just forget about it, okay?” he says flinching slightly at the thought.

  I try to put Alex out of my head. It doesn’t matter that I kissed him. Marcus is trying really hard to move on from that night and I will do the same. I mean yes the kiss was…whatever. I’m not thinking about Alex right now. Okay I am thinking about Alex, but that’s only so that I can understand the night at the Fair better.

  So, why did I kiss him? Why did I really kiss him? I don’t know, loss of brain waves? Selfsabotage? Or fear of being happy?

  Emmy, you’re lying in bed with your fiancée and for once you’re not being chased,attacked or being set on fire. Enjoy the moment and stop thinking about…other things.

  “I think you should let me win.” I suggest as I pause the game.

  “Why would I do that?” He asks smiling.

  “Well, the sooner I win, the sooner we can play a different game.” I reply suggestively.

  He instantly surrenders by putting the tablet down onto the bed. I laugh at his complete lack of self-control.

  “You’re a leader. You should be strong and resist me,” I tease him.

  “I don’t think I will ever be able to resist you.”

  He gives me this hungry stare. In his mind's eye, he’s already removed all of my clothes.

  My heart quickens, my cheeks are flushed, and I’m heady with anticipation. He’s not the only one who is about to surrender.

  I take out a vial of Trickk from my nightstand and I pull him towards me eagerly. Once our lips make contact, the surge of desire and longing is almost too much.

  “Before we go on, we should check our phones, in case the team needs us.” I say to him.

  “What team?” Marcus asks mid-kiss.

  “Marcus!” I scold.

  “Oh sorry; you know I can’t think when you touch me,” he admits.

  “Really? Does my touch have that big an effect on you?” I tease.

  “Definitely; let me show you…”

  I turn over on the bed and expect to feel him beside me, but all I feel are the sheets. I open my eyes and sure enough he’s gotten out of bed. I turn to and find him over by the window. I check the clock and it’s just after seven in the morning. The sky over New York City is a crisp beautiful bright blue.

  “Hey you.” I call out.

  “Hey.” He replies as he turns his head and studies me.

  “What are you doing over there, shouldn’t you be Recharging?” I ask.

  “I was watching you lay next to me and I wished I had Eta’s powers; that way I could just freeze this moment.”

  “Aw baby that’s so sweet.”

  “Sadly, I don’t have her powers. And while I was watching you, the sun started to come up,” he replies.

  “Well Raphael hasn’t called us about the second Alpha yet. So we are still on a vacation—sort of. So, why don’t you get back into bed?” I offer.

  “I will…” he says, but makes no movement.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask.

  “Nothing. I mean this moment is…perfect.”

  “We’re overdue for some ‘perfect moments’ after everything we’ve been through,” I remind him.

  “Babe, can I talk to you?” he asks.

  “Well, yeah, of course.”

  “I mean really talk. That means if I say something you don’t like, you can’t jump down my throat and if you say something I don’t like, I can’t get angry,” he replies.

  “I don’t understand,” I admit.

  “We need to talk, but we can’t be ‘Marcus and Emmy’ explosive like we normally are. I need us to have a conversation with only one goal in mind.”

  “What’s the goal?” I ask.

  “The truth. We need to get to the truth, no matter how awful.”

  “I don’t like the sound of this. Let’s just get back into bed,” I offer sinfully.

  “Emmy, I’m serious.”

  “Okay, okay. We will talk and get to the truth. Whatever that is.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes.”

  I don’t think I like this…

  “Okay, I’m not trying to start an argument. I’m really not. And I have forgiven you for kissing Alex,” he says hastily.

  “Okay…so what do you want to talk about?” I say, already hating the direction of this conversation.

  “Something you said that night at the Fair that I have tried to get past. I mean I have tried blocking it, I’ve tried burying it and I’ve even acted like I didn’t hear it.”

  “What did I say?” I ask as my heartbeat pounds in my ears.

  “I asked you if you had feelings for Alex and you said you didn’t know.”

  “Oh…”

  “Do you have feelings for Alex?” he asks again.

  “I don’t know. I mean, no. I mean…well…look I’m not playing games, I really don’t know. I swear,” I reply.

  “I believe you. I think you’re genuinely confused about Alex and I think I know why that is.”

  “Why?”

  “Emmy, except for a few dates with Lucas, you have never dated a human before.
I think you’re longing to experience that. I think that’s one of the reasons why you kissed Alex.”

  “What? That’s crazy. Just come back to bed,” I say to him.

  “Emmy, we met when you were only fifteen. I’m the first guy you’ve ever loved and I’m the only guy you’ve ever been with. You’ve never experienced life with a human. I have.”

  “So?”

  “So I know what’s it’s like to date different people, I’ve fallen in love more than once, I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve broken a few hearts myself. I’ve made awful mistakes and had a great time learning what did and didn’t work for me. Emmy, I died at sixteen, but before that, I lived. I lived my life. You should too.”

  “I am. I’m living it with you.”

  “Baby, I think you kissed Alex because you are not done with humans.”

  “Marcus, are you saying you don’t want to marry me?”

  “No, that is the complete opposite of what I’m saying. Emmy, every single day I have a soul in me, I want to share it with you.”

  “Okay, me too. So what’s the problem?”

  “The problem is I’ve lived. That’s why I can fully commit to being with you and only you. But you just started to live, I don’t want you to regret marrying me later on because you didn’t get a chance to really experience life.”

  “That’s crazy, Marcus. I’ve had so many experiences since I’ve been with this team.”

  “Yeah, Guardian experience. But your human life has been at a standstill.”

  “It doesn’t matter to me,” I argue.

  “So when you saw Alex looking up colleges and figuring out his future, no part of you wished that could be you?”

  “I can still go to school with us together,” I reply.

  “Baby…”

  “Don’t do this Marcus; don’t end things. You promised we would get off this roller coaster. You promised,” I accuse as I walk up to him.

  “I’m not ending anything. I will hold on to you forever if that’s what you want. But baby, I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to please, please be honest with me. And if the answer is no, we will forget this whole conversation. You and I will start letting Miku pick out all the wedding stuff she wants. You say no to this question and I will get back into bed with you because that’s where I really want to be.”